Lies, Betrayal, And Love

How did my life come to this? Standing on the edge of a bridge. In the middle of the night. During a raining thunderstorm. Ugh! Thinking to myself: Why? Why didn't I see that coming? All the signs were there. Ugh! I just can't get over how I allowed myself to get fooled. If only mom and dad were still alive I probably wouldn't be in this mess. I held on tight to the locket they gave me for my 8th birthday. I'm over this. I don't want to go on. Everything is over. I stared down at the water as it was quickly moving downstream. My body freezes. I can't do this. Thinking back on the events of tonight, I stare back down into the water. The tears started to flow. f**k this, I'm going to do it. I will no longer waste tears on him. Yeah, I know it's dumb to want to commit suicide over a guy. What do I have left? No place to live. And I don't know anyone, so I have nowhere else to go. Funny, the cars on the streets just whiz by like I'm invisible. Only solidifying more, I should just end it. The anger in me builds as more cars drive by. I slowly start to inch towards the railing so I can get higher ground for my jump. I look back once more before i decide to make my final jump to welcome whatever comes next. A car slams on breaks, causing me to stop and look back. Three guys step out. Only one approaches me though. I just stare trying to make him out. Hard to see through the pouring rain and the dimly light highway. He's yelling, wait, and I just continue to stare. Me: What do you want? Stranger: Why are you up there? Me: Why do you care? Stranger: I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't concerned? Me: Well, it's my problem, not yours. Stranger: Wow. OK then don't say I didn't try to help. The nerve of that guy. Wow. He is actually walking away back to his car. One of the guys continues to stare at me. Whatever, I didn't need his help. Nothing but trying to look good for oncoming cars and his friends so he can make himself out to look like a hero. I rolled my eyes and looked down at the water again. Still hesitant to jump. I start to hear people yelling get down. I assume it's for me, but when I look back, it's not. Several cars had now stopped. Chanting " Don't jump". It's for the guy who just tried to stop me. He is now on the railing looking at me. Stranger: Still want to jump? He chuckled. Me: What is your deal? Why are you up there? I screamed. Stranger: Well, I see a girl trying to end everything, so just in case she does jump or fall in, I'm already in a position to go after her. Me: Why would you do that? Stranger: Why wouldn't I? He yelled back. He sits on the railing slowly moving towards me. I'm constantly watching him and staring at the water. Me: Don't come any closer, or I'll jump! Stranger: Why haven't you jumped then? All the while still scooting along the railing towards me. He's right. I'm either going to do it or I'm not. Finally, he's reached me. Sitting on the railing just facing the same way I'm standing. He throws a hand up, signaling the people yelling to stay away. Stranger: So what's it gonna be? You don't have to do this. You can get down, I'll drive you home, and life goes on. Or you can jump, I come after you, and the same thing happens. So again, what's it gonna be? He says so calmly. Me: Why are you so concerned whether I jump or not?! You don't know me! If I step down you won't have a second thought about me. So stop acting like you're such a caring person. Get in your car. And leave me alone. Stranger: No. Me: Why? Stranger: Because I don't want to. I've grown tired of the back and forth with this guy. I kick off my shoes, causing me to have a weaker grip on the railing. If I want this guy and everyone to leave me alone, I have no choice, do I? I take a deep breath to still my nerves. Me: Whoever you are, I appreciate the concern, but I'll be fine. Sorry if I come off as being a b***h, but I'm just in a bad place and - He cuts me off. He rolls his eyes and looks annoyed. Stranger: Whatever you think is so bad that you need to end your life, probably isn't that bad. If I guess what the reason behind this is, will you step down from the railing? I nod. My foot slips. I say make it quick. He starts guessing. Stranger: Work? Me: No. Stranger: Money. Me: No. Stranger: Ohhhh. It's a guy. Silence. He guessed right. Is it really that obvious? Me: Ok, you guessed right. Now speak. Stranger: What's your name? Me: Is this really a time to be asking that? I said make it quick! Stranger: OK, whatever your name is. You shouldn't be up here because of some jerk. I bet you guys were together for a long time and he cheated. Now you feel abandoned and unloved. Hate to sound like a jerk but find someone else. Your young. Your pretty. I bet your smart. That's why you're hesitant about jumping. There are still nice guys out there. Not saying jump into a new relationship right away. But one day you'll find the right guy. You just need to have faith. I let his words resonate with me. The tears started flowing again. I stepped down from the railing but onto the opposite side as you would expect. Stranger: What are you doing?! Me: I kept my end of the deal. I stepped down. Stranger: Yeah, onto the wrong side. Me: So? Stranger: Take my hand please. You don't have to do this. We can talk. Just don't jump. Me: I appreciate the advice, but I think I'll do things my way. Once again, I take a deep breath. Calm my nerves. Think back to the events of today and make the plunge into the icy cold water. Hopefully the afterlife will be more welcoming.