Forbidden Instincts

I have a bittersweet feeling towards the concept of war. On one hand I hate the brutality that comes with losing your peace, your home and your life to the hands of a stranger who only cares about political gain. But on the other hand, I love the rush of adrenaline that pumps through my bloodstream at the battalion of warriors marching towards me. I love the deftness of blood when it paints the ground. I love the symphony of grunts and screams that floods my ears. The art of war is second nature to me. Which is why I can’t understand how I could make such a ghastly mistake. The body of a young wolf fell to the ground with a thud and my heart stopped beating in my chest as a wave of silence floated over our heads like an ominous fog waiting to release the demons it shelters. Even our enemies paused in their tracks. But the bewilderment only lasted for a second. Despite the urge we had to remain frozen in the moment of confusion, anger and grief, we danced to the music of combat. But even as we fought for our lives, I could still feel the glares of my warriors burning into my flesh and I don’t blame them. Because it’s not every day their Alpha kills a comrade in battle. ~~~ 2 weeks, 4 days, 6 hours and 8 minutes. That’s how long it’s been since I killed one of my subordinates in battle. But I still remember it like I'm still living in that very moment. And sometimes, I think I am. Because I can still see the life drain from his once vibrant blue eyes. I can still hear the sound of my claws sinking into his chest and pulling out his heart. And I can still feel said heart beating in my hands. “Let us all rise and say the motto of our beloved pack,” A powerful voice bounced against the walls and the court fell into a deadly silence as every soul stood to their feet and recited the words that had kept our pack alive for generations. “From the heavens, the goddess’ truth descends and through Her vessel, we are blessed.” “Members of our just council and people of the Blackstone pack. Today we are all gathered to witness the prosecution of Malcolm Blackstone for the murder of our own Donald Green which took place on the 3rd of May, while we were at war with a neighbouring pack.” 6 members of the council looked at me with disgust and anger swimming in their eyes but it wasn’t their reactions that caused beads of sweat to drip down my face, it was the stoic expression of the man in the middle that filled me with the most dread. Richard Blackstione. My father. “Malcolm, how do you plead?” I almost jumped out of my seat as one of the elders called out to me in an emotionless voice and it took me more than a second to get my heart out of my throat and speak with as much honesty as I could muster. “I plead guilty.” 3 words. 4 syllables. That’s what it took to break the tranquility of the courtroom as hundreds of voices threw insults at me. “Murderer!” “Heartless bastard!” “You really are the Stone Age Alpha!” How easy it is for them to throw stones at a man who they once showered flowers upon. How easy it is for them to rain insults on my being when they once inflated my ego with songs of praise. I did 99 good deeds, but 1 bad mistake was enough to make me the bad guy. But maybe they’ll understand once they hear my side of the story. “Enough!” My father spoke for the first time since I was dragged into the court and, as expected, the room fell silent under the voice of the former Alpha. “Why did you kill him, son?” Father's voice softened as he turned to me, and it was the first time since the incident that I saw an emotion flash through his eyes. But it was gone before I could decipher what it was. “I…I don’t know what was going on with me. One minute I was slaying the enemy, then the next, Donald’s heart was in my hands and his body fell to the ground.” “So you killed him out of anger?” “I wasn’t angry.” “Then you killed him out of spite?” “I didn’t hate him. I would never hate Don. or any of our other warriors without a valid reason?” “And was there a valid reason for killing Donald? maybe he challenged you or he looked at you the wrong way or maybe he was secretly part of the queer society? Surely that would be a just reason to take the young man’s life.” My blood bubbled in anger at the mention of that goddess awful group of people and the fact that my father chose to associate Donald with them made my stomach churn in disgust. “No, father. Donald wasn’t one of…those…people,” I couldn’t even get the words out of my mouth and intense glares from a number of pack members burned holes into my skin. It doesn’t take divine wisdom to know that that was my only flaw in the eyes of my people. My hatred for anything and anyone who breaks the natural order of things. Especially those faggots. “Hmm. So the only explanation for this crime is none other than bloodlust.” my father stated matter of factly and I lifted my head so fast that I feared it might fall off my neck. “No! I had perfect control over…” “That’s not what Mr. Green would say. Admit it, son you were fighting and your wolf took control causing you to attack him.” “That’s not what happened!” “I have my verdict.” “You didn’t even let me explain!” “Malcolm Blackstone. I sentence you to 2 years in exile in any pack of the council’s choosing. You would be stripped off your title as Alpha and will have no contact with anyone from the Blackstone pack. This sentence can however be cut short if you can prove to the council that you have control over your wolf and yourself.” My heart fell into the pit of my stomach as the words fell from my father’s lips and it’s safe to say that my life flashed before my eyes. 5 years of hard work flushed down the toilet because of one stupid mistake. “Father, don’t you think you're being too hard on…” “Silence, boy!” Father silenced my brother faster than he could get the rest of the words out of his mouth and although I appreciate the fact that Richard tried to help me, I knew it was pointless. No one can change our father’s mind once it’s been made up. And as I was dragged away from the pack with silver chains around my wrists and shackles on my ankles, there was only one thought in my mind. What the hell would be my fate?