Acceptance

In a room covered in white, a tear drop from a woman’s eyes  she was leaning at the sidelines of the room’s neat wall while she was holding a black old pen  She move towards a window, which has never been open and the outside view has never been seen  and she reach the book behind her and opened its empty filling  she then move the pen towards the book and began to re-imagine the past she shared in a tearful keen. Episode 1 Am I fool enough to forfeit myself? For the sake of the people who invigorated my being, does assenting heartaches is the right way to pursue?  How hard life could be? That even diamonds which I treasured most abhorred me in my salient identity. Yet, despite all this hardship, I still believe God allowed them on purpose, therefore I never had any reason to regret, because if ever, will someone tell me what it is? Still so fresh in my mind, how that day started to change my life; A glorious day of  summer season, while everyone in the city seems maintaining their daily deeds, and I--- I was walking along the roadside back then, searching for some internet cafe to surf. For it is a part of my usual behavior to post opinions about global economic  problems that issued online, and often write articles concerning those things using my own laptop which also troubles me when connecting on the internet.            Then suddenly a strange conversation happened to capture my interest, induce me to discontinue my careless paddle, and instead of moving forward I took a few steps closer, “What was they’re thinking? Revolution has always been there in the first place. Our country is falling down into the abyss because of them, the current president failed to handle the conflicting big whales of the international economy? They were using us for blame since the previous administration, now accusing us for starting an international revolution when it is already existing since ancient times. We have been bullied from time to time and our government wants us to accept  it to avoid conflict ” held the man right before me with his hands clinching into a forceful fists and his infuriated while spying to people who might listening to them. I tried my best to remain casual but, when his companion began to yield a word, the both of us cared to listen intently,                                                                                                    “ Darn, A book, Just a book, they were making such a reason, not all of us wrote that book, obviously their making this way to commence another world war, couldn’t they just accept that they are no longer the greatest country the world has to look up to, or maybe they were so down that could never think of another solutions to their throughout bankruptcy , why can’t they just find the real writer and kill him, a modernized Rizal who ended up challenging the world than helping his people from impending colonial rule”                                             After hearing the conversation beside me, I trembled down with the lash of anxiousness, thinking of every possible ways that could bring my family in danger, what book? What war? And who the hell would even write that?                                                      In instance, I ran towards home to ensure my family’s safe. To which is a few kilometres’ away from the main street I am passing. I kept my vigour with me to endure this great fatigue, until finally, I, in the front of our door, I exhausted. As I reach the door knob and firmly opened it, I saw my mother blunting at the settee abducted by a rueful expression. I tried to approach her but my brother Aaron stopped me from doing that, so I just let my eyes roamed the entire place.  I can perceive  the sorrow that dominates our humble home. My sister Ari-an is sitting under a rotten wall carpet playing a sharp kitchen knife with her bare hand.  I know it is not the right time to ask but “mom? Where’s dad?” my mother slowly turned her gaze at me before showing a full reaction on her face for what what I've said. she stood up and came closer to me “where? Where is dad? Why Acia? Why do you ask? Why Arnold? You know He is innocent, you always know that” mom cried at the top of her voice. I never saw her like that before. She went back to the settee, howling and calling my father’s name. I am confuse  on what’s going on, so my brother tried to explain to me what happened.                                                  “We sent you to aunt dillia’s place for your vacation, so I figured you have no idea on what’s going on, and I can’t blame you for that, but if you have heard the news about the conflict between allying countries and the pending new war. Well, you see, there’s this book, published all over the world, and they blame the book for this conflict” he pause to confirm my nosiness, though it is obvious that he is hesitating “have you heard about those stuff?”  With his gloomy voice he asked, and so I nod to confirm to him my curiosity ‘I DO’  “They said it was father...and they are holding a big evidence against him” he stopped just like that, leaving me unsatisfied from such information that I know I need.                                                                                                                                    A moment pass with an unusual tacit. We were all dull and seem lifeless, when all of a sudden a group of men in black came barging in, by pushing our door rashly. They point their guns towards us, as if they are to shoot  “freeze” one man exclaimed  We froze and left  our hands up to be unharmed. My brother stands before us, as the man of our family, he is ought to be firm, yet I know He is also striving against his own weakness. My poor brother, my family, we are Innocent, why can’t they understand, I may don’t know anything that much but, my feelings won’t lie to me, God won’t let us down.                                                                                                                                                                   My Father Lemuel is a reverend pastor in our hometown, and for sure he is known, even outside our City. My mother, Alicia Forlene is a house keeper and at the same time she’s doing a not very successful business. we own a small block in the public market. My brother Aaron is a licensed computer Engineer, while my sister Ari-an is a student of nursing.  Our life is nothing different from normal. I am sometimes lazy and a little bit Introverted. I graduated High school without a name to brag, and was force to postpone college due to some indiscretion on my own personality. I am shabby, and that is enough reason to cease my daydreaming about the future. Yet beside from that I found my family as a perfect one, and thinking that it would end up this way is a far image for me to imagine. But then it happened. My brother was beaten and I stood up for him. My mother held my hand tight, forbidding me to do what I intended, but I coerce myself to bout back. I grab a vase from somewhere and throw it on the leader’s arm, yet who was I kidding. likely I am just a mouse challenging a big wave of monsters. And then someone just stab a huge needle on my back, induce my sight to become fuzzy, and the last thing I saw was my mother begging for something I hardly understand. Acia?.....Acia? Acia wake up now.........                                                                                                                                                          Is that a voice of someone familiar?                                                                                                                                           Acia?.......you’ll be late now....... good gracious you in your senior years and still your laziness is outrageous...... can’t you do anything for that?                                                                                                                                                                    I woke up inside my old room, wearing my old pajamas and in distance I saw my father standing outside my door  “ Fa---father?” “So what are you expecting a ghost to show up? Now wash yourself and proceed to the kitchen, breakfast is ready, your mother prepared your favourite dish” he said and head back.    I am so excited, thank God it was just a terrible nightmare. and I worried too much for nothing. I went after my father without fixing myself first and arrive at the kitchen which serves as our dining hall as well. And there they are, my entire family, sitting and chatting, arguing something funny like what we used to. I hurriedly sat down next to mom and murmured a small prayer before reaching out the viand .My mother sway my hands off and took the viand away from me  “gee, hungry much? You are suppose to wash your hands before swallowing anything” they all laugh at me and so I made a pitiful expression to cover up. Until someone’s voice whispered into my ears  “Acia? Aren’t you afraid? Huh? Acia?”  I looked around to find the direction of the voice but all I can see is my family laughing  and,  and then  little by little they slowly turn their faces towards me. Glaring at me and started asking the same question  “Acia? Aren’t you scared?” with a very eerie pitch they call, and then everything went black and I, again lost my consciousness.