Say It Softly, Quiet

I awake to the soft sound humming of birds outside of my open window, the symphony of their tune providing a calm awakening on this dreaded morning, leaving me thankful to their soothing presence. The sunlight has already found its way through the slight gap in my white curtains, creating a warm tone inside my cool room. I feel a yawn coming upon me, and don’t deny it’s passing out of me, releasing a small squeak as I do. I stretch my arms side to side, preparing my body to actually get up. No matter how loudly the soft white fabric is calling me to never leave, I know I can’t just lounge around under my duvet all day. I lay back down for just a few minutes, before the light humming turns into loud chirping, causing me to realize this is mother nature's way of telling me my day must really begin now. Slowly I rise from my sheets, willing myself to make my way over to my en-suite. I pause for a moment, admiring the beauty of the outside through the small crevice, the golden rays are streaming through. I can’t help but smile at the two baby hummingbirds seated atop my window seat pecking at each other in the most adorable manner. I let out a sigh once I remember what day it is, the sight in front of me no longer able to keep a smile on my face. I pivot on my feet and force myself into the washroom, flipping the light switch on the wall as I do so. I pull the sliding door closed behind me and flip the lock to the right, securing myself inside. I turn to admire myself in the mirror, immediately wrinkling my nose up at the sight of myself. Me in the morning is never a lovely sight. I pick up my toothbrush and lather it in toothpaste, before rinsing it and begin to brush my teeth. I brush the front, the back, the middle, and all around for the next two minutes, singing the Happy Birthday song, like my dentist, taught me, before spitting the remains of the toothpaste into the sink and rinsing out my mouth. I wipe the excess water with the hand towel hanging on the wall beside me, and then make my way over to the shower just across the bathroom. The cold tile floors against my feet cause chills to run through my body, making me move towards the shower faster. I undress quickly, desperate for the warmth the water will bring me once inside as opposed to my current state outside. I wash my body and rinse off the soap, basking in the hot water for a few minutes and letting myself relax. I move onto my shampoo, doing a quick coat and rinse, then repeating the same with my conditioner. The steam from the water begins to fog up the glass surrounding me, yet I convince my subconscious, that is willing me to get out, that a few more minutes won’t hurt. As I feel myself drifting into a peaceful state, I am startled by a loud knock at my door that’s accompanied by a muffled voice that sounds as if it is far away. “I’m in the shower, I can’t hear you, Brett!” I call back, knowing it is more than likely my older brother who is pounding on my door unashamedly. It’s quiet, then I hear footsteps making their way through my room to just outside the washroom. “I said, we have to leave in forty minutes, you can’t be late today, yeah?” Brett shouts to me, his voice now much clearer than when it was traveling through my bedroom door. “Alright. I’ll meet you downstairs then!” I yell back, making sure not to make my voice too loud, but also not too quiet as to where he wouldn’t be able to hear me. “Okay, I’ll make some breakfast and some tea!” He shouts back, and I hum in agreement before I hear his footsteps retreating out of my room and the impact of my door closing. I lift my head from the glass wall of the shower and take a few breaths before reaching for the shower knob. I feel myself already missing the warmth it brought me as I begrudgingly turn it to the left, the water stream getting lighter and lighter until it is mere drops. I stay where I am for a few seconds, then remind myself that I truly do have to get a move on it if I want to be ready on time. I open the steam coated door and grab one of the towels that is hanging beside the shower, wrapping it around my body instantly as the cool air hits me as I take my first step out. I dry my body down before I grab into the robe that is hanging on the opposite side of the shower, turning back to hang the now wet towel over the drying rack. I make my way over to the counter, instantly grabbing my hairbrush from the top drawer. Starting from the bottom, I begin to softly brush all the way up the mess that I call my hair until there are no tangles. I do the same to my whole head before I run my hands through it just a few times to be sure I caught all the knots. I grab my hair dryer from the third drawer, plugging it in and flipping it on high in order to get the job done quickly. I slowly run it down each chunk of hair, brushing it out before I move onto the next piece. Once I’m content with the dryness of my hair, I brush through it a few more times in order to get it perfectly straight. “I guess this will do.” I murmur to myself quietly, and unplug my straighter, leaving it on the countertop to cool down as I move towards the door and unlock it. I make my way across my room to the opposite side to my closet. I turn the knob and open the door, flipping on the light switch inside before I let my eyes roam around my plethora of clothes, shoes, bags, and scarves. I start with my bottoms, deciding on a nice black corduroy skirt, and then move onto my tops. I take a second before I pull out a basic white long sleeve, slightly tight fitting top. Shoes come next, and I settle on plain black stilettos, hoping that I don’t trip throughout the day. I move onto my bags and choose my black Louis Vuitton backpack. I quickly swap from my sleeping shorts and top into the outfit in hand, and do a once-over in the mirror, turn, then do another, and another. I sigh at my reflection but decide it’s just best to wear this to prevent a rabbit hole of outfit changes that ends in me crying on my closet floor. “Moving on,” I mumble, not wanting to stare at myself any longer and risk getting stuck pulling apart every part of my closet. I turn around and make my way out of my closet, shutting off the light and closing the door as I do so. I make my way back to my en-suite and place the now cool straightener back in its proper drawer. I shut the light off as I make my way over to my vanity to grab my jewelry. I decide on my silver necklace, not too flashy but not to plain, accompanied with a diamond chain link bracelet and some matching rings. Once my jewelry is on, I make my way over to my bed and quickly make it up to the way it was before I slept in it. I place my last decorative pillow in the front and then walk over to my still closed curtains. I open them in full, taking a moment to bask in the glory of the golden morning light seeping through my window and into my room, lighting it completely. “Today will be a good day. ” I tell myself, though my tone isn’t quite convincing to my own ears. “Melody! Come on, breakfast is hot and on the table! So is your tea, it’ll get cold soon if you don’t hurry!” My brother shouts from what I assume is the bottom of the steps, his strong voice traveling throughout the house. Where did the time go? I do a final once-over of my room before forcing myself out of it, closing my door behind me. I begin to make my way down the stairs, careful not to slip on the way down. The sun shines through the many windows in the house, creating shimmering reflections on the stairs. When I arrive at the bottom I take a right, heading to the kitchen to meet my oh so patient brother. “Finally. I thought I was going to have to come up there and drag you down the damn stairs myself.” Brett says dramatically, and I narrow my eyes at him in response. “Oh shut up.” I snap at him, though he doesn’t take it personally and just shoots me a wide grin. His smile falters a bit once he does a once-over of my outfit before he lets out a sigh and runs a hand through his hair and then down his face until he is resting his head in his hand. Brett leans further against the table and stares at me intently for a few seconds causing panic to rise in my chest. What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong? “You know you don’t have to dress like that if you’re not comfortable on, Mellie.” He murmurs softly to me, a soft frown etching his features, and my eyebrows to furrow in confusion. “What do you mean? I’m perfectly comfortable in these clothes. I like them in fact!” I say, painting the largest fake smile onto my face to try and do my case justice. Brett just shook his head at my words. “Melody I can basically see the discomfort in your eyes. Plus, even if others can’t see that you just look awkward. I love you Melody, but this isn’t you and you know it.” He says to me and I’m sure my face shows the shock that I feel myself from him being able to figure me out so quickly, but I do my best to mask it and take a breath before speaking. “This is me, Brett. This is why-” I’m cut off by his loud groan and his head falling from his hand and onto the table. He takes a few moments to recollect himself before he stands and starts speaking again. “No, it’s not. I know you, I’ve known you my whole life. Don’t even try to give me that s**t Melody. Whatever Mia and her bitches ever said to you, or made you believe last year is s**t. You don’t have to dress like this to make friends. You can be yourself, you're not a freak, or ugly, or a single f*****g word they called you last year alright? I love you, and I want you to love who you are too. SO go back up those stairs and don’t come back down here until you’re dressed like the real Melody.” Brett rants out to me, and I have to force myself to blink back tears at not only his words, but the memories of Mia and her minions last year, well the last three years really. We just stayed still for a few seconds, our gazes not wavering from each other until I decided to let myself go and speak up. “Can I...can I borrow a sweatshirt?” I asked softly, and a grin makes its way to Bretts face at my words, though he doesn’t answer so I stay put. “Well go on then. You know where they are.” He says to me, and I feel a smile of my own tugging at my lips. “I’ll even let you wear your favorite.” Brett finishes off and I all but squeal at his words. “The white one?” I practically squeak and he nods his head and lets out a laugh at my reaction. “I’ll be right back!” I inform him before I carefully make my way back up the stairs to get changed. I can’t say that I’m surprised that Brett saw right through my act of being ‘okay’. I mean in his defense, he has grown up with me. He was the one that was always there for me when I would cry my eyes out in my bed after school, at night, in the morning, he was always there. For a while, he didn’t ask questions which I was thankful for, but soon enough he wanted to know why his sister was crying every night and it didn’t take long before I admitted to him what the three devils were doing to me at school. He backed off for a while when I said him doing anything would just make it worse, but eventually, he outed my issues to our parents, who immediately switched me from that awful all-girls private to my brother's school, which is where I am heading to attend my first day today. So of course, when I came down in those dreadful high heels and skirt and tight top, Brett would be the first to notice I wasn’t in my element, not at all. I shook my thoughts and head past my room to Brett’s, which was just down the hall. I open his door and immediately make my way over to his closet. I open the door and flick the light on just as I did to mine earlier this morning, and make my way to the back where he keeps all of his hoodies and jackets. I come to a halt before this section letting my eyes roam it in search for the right item and quickly grab it once I spot it. I make my way out of his room, shutting off both his closet light and room light before heading back down the hall to my own room. I don’t even bother to shut my door behind me knowing that Brett is to envelop in his food to be found coming up the stairs at the moment. I quickly go into my own closet, pulling my plain black leggins off their hanger, and then going down a bit before stopping to pick out my white sneakers. Once I’m changed I let out a huge sigh of relief at my new attire. Much better. I grab my bag off of my bed the bed where I had dropped it before and then made my way back down the stairs, this time with a little bit more of a skip in my step. I hopped off the last step, giggling a bit at my childish antics as I make my way back into the kitchen where Brett is awaiting my presence. Once he hears my steps he looks up at me from his phone and smiles much wider than before. “There she is.” He says teasingly, walking over to ruffle my hair which causes me to immediately slap his hand away. “Oh shut up.” I say to him as I did the first time I came down, but my tone is anything but serious as I speak. “Aw, don’t be like that Mellie, you know you love me.” Brett drags on and I just laugh at him as he does so. I sit down at the table and pull my plate closer to me. It was oatmeal and fruit, nothing I would argue with so I quickly complied and ate it up, eyeing the time on my phone every now and then just to make sure that I wasn’t going to be late on my first day. Once I finish I get up and bring my dish over to the sink, where I leave it atop the counter before I turn back to Brett. “Okay, so you’re sure I don’t look bad like this right? I mean you can be honest, I won’t be angry. I just don’t want to look ugly on my first day. Or well I mean worse than I already do look.” I say to him, and his eyebrows just furrow at my statement. “Mellie you always look nice alright? I hate that Mia and her cracked up bitches made you feel so insecure about themselves. I swear to god if I didn’t have morals and it wasn’t illegal those skanks would be in-” “Brett!” I shriek, cutting him off not wanting him to continue his sentence on any further, knowing his next words would be very, very descriptive and inappropriate. “Okay okay.” He says, before continuing on. “But really Melody, you’re beautiful. You shouldn’t let their words make you think any different of yourself. And earlier I didn’t want you to change because you looked ugly if that’s what you’re thinking. You look perfect both ways, but you look like you this way. That’s all I want all right? I don’t want this whole, ‘let me try to fit in’ Melody, I want ‘my sister’ Melody.” Brett says to me, and I can feel the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. “What if people don’t like, ‘your sister’ Melody?” I ask him quietly, forcing my eyes away from his. “Then that’s their loss I guess.” He says to me with a shrug but opens his mouth to speak again when he sees my shoulders drop at his words. “Look at me.” Brett orders, and I force myself to stare at him straight on while he talks. “I have known you my whole life, my whole life Melody and not once have I ever seen a reason for anyone not to like you. Hell, I’ve never heard someone say a bad thing about you. Mia and those girls? They were jealous. They were jealous because no one can help but love your pure f*****g soul. Like seriously, someone could kill me for god sake and if they needed a place to stay for a few nights since their wife of someone kicked them out you would offer up my room! You have nothing to worry about with people not liking you for who you are, everyone will love you alright? So stop thinking about what those girls used to say you were because their words do not define you. You are my sister, You are Melody, plain and simple. Therefore, you will act like such, and people will love you just how you are or they won’t be worth your time, do you understand me?” He finishes off, and by now I can’t stop the tears that are falling from my eyes. I move forward to wrap my arms around Brett and he hugs me tight against him. “Thank you.” I whisper to him quietly and he just kisses the top of my head in response before pulling away slightly to look down at me. “You’re my sister Mellie, you don’t ever have to thank me. I’ll always be here for you alright?” He asks me in a soft tone and I can’t help the small frown that makes its way on my lips at his words. Does he only act like this because he has to? Because we’re family. “I don’t want you to be there for me because you feel obligated to, just because we’re family Brett. You don’t have to do that to yourself.” I mumble, and he just groans loudly before pulling away and taking ahold of my arms. “Melody I love you because we’re family, I take my personal time to be here for you because I care about you. You’re my best friend, not just my sister. I don’t feel obligated to help you, I want to.” He tells me and I just nod, a relieved smile making its way back on my face at his reassurance. “Alright then. Now, chin up, don’t let the memories of those fuckers bring you down before your first day. You look just fine and you’re going to have tons of fun.” Brett says to me and I laughs as I dry off the residue from my tears at his ‘prep speech’. “Yes, sir.” I tease him and he just narrows his eyes at me before he chuckles and makes his way past me to make his way out of the halls to the front door. Once we’re both out at the front door he turns to me and gives me a soft smile. “You ready?” He asks me, and I give him a short nod. “Let’s go then.”