The Dids We Regret At Last

Lorie sat on the couch, drinking the last drops of whiskey in her glass. The ice had melted, watering it down not that it mattered. Nothing could ease the ache in her chest, the crushing weight of knowing she had been living a lie. It had been a week since Jake left. A week since she kissed him goodbye at the airport, knowing exactly where he was really going. She should have asked him before. She should have screamed, thrown things, begged him to tell her it wasn’t true. But instead, she had waited. Waited for him to come home. Waited for him to look her in the eyes and choose her. And now? Now he was standing in the doorway, looking at her like he didn’t just rip her heart to pieces.. "How was your trip?" Lorie’s voice was calm, empty. "It was good... And I got you your favourite bag from there" he said like he did nothing wherever he was "You wanted it more than anything" he smiled while opening the gifts he bought for her. "Ooh, did she remind you how stubborn I was about you getting me that bag?" After a moment of looking at each other she asked again "Well, I hope she made you happy, she succeed what I failed... Is it?" Jake exhaled, running a hand through his hair. He looked exhausted. But why? Why was he the one who looked broken? He is the one who cheated their marriage but still, he looked like he was cheated instead. "Lorie, please. Not tonight." He lost a courage to say anything, he didn't even want to argue with her Lorie let out a hollow laugh, setting her glass down with a quiet clink. "Not tonight," she repeated, shaking her head. "Of course. Because it’s only convenient for you when I pretend not to know anything you're doing out there" she chuckled Jake took a step toward her, but she raised a hand, stopping him in his steps, "Don’t." Her voice was sharp. Unforgiving. Silence stretched between them, thick and suffocating. Lorie finally stood, her knees unsteady, her heart beating painfully in her chest. "Tell me something," she said quietly. "When you touched her, did you think about me?" Jake flinched like she had struck him. "Lorie..." "No answer me." She took a step forward, her voice shaking. "Did you think about me? Did you think about our life? Our marriage? Or was I already gone from your mind the second she opened her f*****g legs?" Jake’s jaw clenched. He had no answer for that, he didn't know how to explain anything to her, he just stood there looking at her, he didn't even know how did she know that he was with another woman. She let out a shaky breath, her hands trembling. "I would’ve forgiven you, you know," she whispered. "If you had come to me. If you had told me you were struggling. If you had said you felt something was missing, we could’ve worked on it." Tears covered her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "But you never gave me the chance, Jake." He stepped forward, reaching for her. "Lorie, I swear to God, it was a mistake and I was going to..." "No, it wasn’t." She said really quickly. Jake’s breath hitched. "A mistake is tripping over a step. A mistake is forgetting a birthday. A mistake is something that happens once." She swallowed, her throat tight. "But you? You made a choice. Every time you touched her. Every time you lied to me." Jake looked like he was about to break, but she wasn’t done. "I was your home, Jake. I was your safe place. And you..." Her voice cracked. "You burned it to the ground... it's all ashes." Jake let out a shaky breath, his eyes glistening with regret. "Lorie, I love you." Lorie’s heart twisted painfully, but she forced a bitter smile. "No, you don’t... don't f*****g lie to my face." Jake's body tensed. "Yes, I do! I love you more than anything! And I’ll prove it to you, just give me time.. I will bring back the happiness we had before all this, just give me a chance to talk and time to make all this right." "Time?" Lorie scoffed. "I gave you time, Jake. I gave you years of my life. And all the while, you were giving pieces of yourself to someone else, you didn't even bother to come and tell me what you did, so that we sort it out, you kept it to yourself and kept f*****g her." Jake fell silent. "You should have told me whatever is troubling you, whatever you're missing, was there anything I did wrong? What did I do to get all this? Jake what have I done to get all this pain?" She looked at him "I was about to tell you I swear" Jake said that while tears falling down his cheeks "After I found out myself?" She asked looking at him desperately "I'm sorry Lorie" he cried in his words. Lorie took a deep breath, then reached for her wedding ring. Jake’s eyes widened. His whole body went rigid. "Lorie," his voice cracked. "Don’t, please don't do this" She slid the ring off her finger. Her hands trembled as she held it up, staring at the small, delicate band. The symbol of everything she thought they were. Then, with a final breath, she dropped it. The metallic clink echoed like a gunshot. Jake staggered back, shaking his head. "No, no, no..." He fell to his knees, scrambling to pick up the ring, clutching it like it could somehow fix what he had destroyed. "Lorie, please. Please. I’ll do anything, I’ll change, I’ll... Just say the word and I will do anything I swear" The realization of how important she was to his life hit him, he was there on his knees, tears falling not knowing what to say or what to do to make things right with her, his heart ache like it was going to burst any moment, he got the pain that he never experienced even on his first breakup, he opened his mouth but nothing came out. Lorie turned away. "You should’ve thought about that before you decided to f**k her." Jake let out a broken sob, his fingers tightening around the ring as he watched the woman he loved, the woman he destroyed, walk out of his life. For the first time in his life, Jake felt like his chest was going to burst. He didn't know what this feeling was. Pain? Regret? Despair? Where did it hurt? Everywhere. And yet, nowhere. Because everything was already broken. He had lost her. Lorie was gone. And suddenly, he realized, this wasn’t how it was supposed to end. He had married her for all the wrong reasons, to make Catty suffer, to show her that he could have anyone he wanted, that he could destroy her just like she destroyed him. But in the end, the only person he destroyed was Lorie. And himself. "I never wanted this," he whispered, his voice shaking. His own words felt like a knife twisting in his chest. "I thought I was getting revenge… I thought showing Catty that I could have any woman I wanted would make her regret what she did to me... But what have I done?" He clenched his jaw, his thoughts suffocating him. "Why did I marry Lorie if I was only going to destroy her?" Jake buried his face in his hands. He had spent his whole life chasing revenge, but where did it lead him? Nowhere. The pain didn’t stop. The anger never left. And worst of all, he lost the only person who ever truly loved him. More pain got the chance, his chest pain burst out and hit him like fire, he suffocated, he couldn't breathe, he lay down, rolling around but nothing helped, he tried so hard until he reach his bag for his pills. He is sick, sick since childhood but he always hid it from everyone. The pills just reduce pain but nothing more and it's all that he wanted since nothing could help him out of that chest pain. For days, he locked himself away, drowning in his own regrets, in his own silence. What will he do? It's true he cheated, but why? And why the regrets? Will Lorie forgive him? Will She come back to him? How will she deal with this?