Love & Loss

fourteen

Noah

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I still felt bad for leaving Avery with that guy but I couldn't stand being in her eyesight. She has gotten hurt because of my carelessness. All I ever wanted was for her to accompany me and yet I had to f**k it up. I've been locked in my room for the last two days becoming more and more like my big brother Matthew. He shelter me from most of the trauma.

Ever since that day for as long as I could remember our dad abused us and mom wasn't any better. Whilst I had a bit of freedom to play around, Matthew took the blame for himself and I'd watch as they hurt him and did nothing about it.

I ran from everything when it gets hard and unbearable. Avery has a beautiful soul and I tainted a part of it. I know sooner or later I had to beg for her forgiveness or rather earn her forgiveness.

I took up my phone multiple times and still hadn't deciphered what to text or call her about. Placing the phone on the bed I took a quick shower before Mom came home.

Jonas was in the living room sitting on the sofa watching cartoons. He is a well-behaved child, he gave little to no fuss and was our little bright star. He was so cute; I smiled to myself. Jonas didn't notice me looking at him as he was too busy focusing on his cartoons.

I went and helped Mom when she came home in the kitchen as she was putting the finishing touches on the chocolate cake that Jonas helped to make. I set the table with the spoons and dishes and went for Jonas to wash his hands.

Mom didn't question me as to why I was in my room for two days and missed school. She knew I had a good reason and was waiting on me to tell her.

"Let's say our prayers for this meal," Mom said.

We joined hands as she began the prayer, "Dear Lord, thank you for this meal and thank you for this family. Bless us and this food."

"Amen," both Jonas and I said.

Avery

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The sound of my phone ringing woke me. Lazily I reached for the phone; missed calls were from Desmond and sadly none from Noah. My heart sank like a bottomless pit; for some reason, I hoped he would've checked on me. It was now after four o'clock yet no one was home. Winter and Summer weren't home for days and my parents had less then a wee to return home. Good thing today was Friday and no school until Monday so more time for me to rest myself hopefully.

Getting up and headed downstairs, I reheated some leftovers in the fridge. Other than leftovers there wasn't anything else in the fridge to eat. I'll just go out to grab some groceries. Closing the door behind me I decided to walk to the nearest grocery store. It would take 5-10 minutes depending on how fast I walk. I carried a bottle of water with me to keep hydrated and my earphones. I swear the music makes me walk faster if that even makes any sense, it's almost as if it boosted my energy. The money I had for groceries was from my little savings. I also need to look for a part-time job so I can earn extra cash, anyways, I am only buying some groceries for myself and other necessities that I needed. Reaching the grocery store I picked a small basket to put my stuff.

I felt awkward as hell, just going out and being around people triggers my social anxiety. I took out my phone and calculated the cost of the groceries and counted my money twice to make sure it was correct.

I had it hard. Checking out my stuff, I carried an extra bag to put my loads in. They weren't really heavy so I can walk home with them. I couldn't bother to cook any dinner so I'll stop at a restaurant and ordered Chinese food. Arriving at the restaurant, I order some noodles with their famous known chicken called 'crispy'.

Weird name right? Not that I mind what they called it as long as it tastes great which their meal always do. Miss Martha, the owner, came to take my order as I sat around the table on a stool.

"The usual hunny?" She asked.

I smiled, "Yes the usual please and I wanna try a new drink," I added.

I came here often, so by now, she knew what I wanted. It'll take a few minutes before my meal is ready as other people came before me. Scrolling through my phone, I went to look at my social media pages (I'm not popular on them though, but I like to think I am).

An idea came to me, to stalk Dessy's and Noah's social media pages. It would take a while to find it figuring I don't know what their names are, or I could've simply asked them— of course I won't less they'll know I'm stalking them.