Charity

"Look at what you did! I am so disappointed" "Get a grip of your life Casper, you're a waste of time" "Man, what happened?" Everything, EVERYTHING. "I said stop" I shouted almost as if my life depends on it. "You should know at the very start that you are not capable of loving anyone!" "S-stop" I cried I can't imagine a life without Charity, She's my everything. Everything about her is a reason for me to stay alive. So the moment her nurse declared that she was no longer breathing, I immediately died. Black mattress with white bulbs, and blue curtains that surrounds the hall. I remember her uttering the words "If ever you ask me to get married, take note of this" "This is exactly what you want Charity" I don't know where to start, my life is a big mess. If Charity is a dream, I don't think I would like to wake up. If Charity is the moon, I will be the stars. If Charity is the sun, I am the earth. If Charity is because of my imagination, then I would thank my brain and never want to get it fixed the "normal" way they always told me. I can take a whole pack of pills and I won't get tired of being sane if it means that I get to see her a lot. "Charity is just an illusion Casper" That doctor with scrubs on his head once again said. Well, even he write a wholeass research with related literature about it telling that Charity is just an illusion. I won't believe him, Charity believed me. Charity always comforts me, She understands me the most. If I were you, wish they had my eyes. I feel like I'm sitting on cloud 9 when Charity is here because she makes me feel normal. It's overly sentimental and unreal. Heck, I was too inloved. I loved Charity like a d**g and if you ask me how addictive it is. I would say VERY addictive but NOT as addictive as Felline. She's...She is...the girl who's completely my mirrored self. Trinity Hospital Day 1: Casper's Life Age: 5yrs old Year: 1998 Condition: onhold. You know what? I just agreed on writing this stupid journal just because my mom told me she'd buy me a new spider as my pet, and she agreed on buying me the BIG ONE! Usually, bigger ones are more interesting to watch when I kill them. Mother doesn't know I killed them though. Father did, He told me it's not normal. Whatever, He is the one who's not normal. As usual, a boy like me should sit straight and wait for the monster to put me sane again. I was always normal, they're the ones who act as if I'm a threat. I just enjoy watching someone grieve? Like the horror and frantic breathing from the relatives of the victim in almost all of the horror and tragedy movie, I have seen. It's very... Very awesome. It is normal I think, Cause some kids my age are already obsessed with science and maths. At least my only obsession is to watch every single movie that contains "dark emotions" as they said. Dark their a*s, they, no! YOU just don't see the world the way I see it. _ Dumb monster who thinks chemicals would put me to sleep. No, Charity is waiting, Charity said that i should let them put whatever drugs they have to put on me so that she has a reason to visit me. I love Charity, She's completely my opposite. My type. _ Trinity Hospital Day 2: Casper's Life Age: 5yrs old Year: 1998 Condition: onhold. ... why are they even giving me pens with f*****g red ink. It hurts my eyes. Anyways, hello journal. Life in this blue-tinted room is nothing. What a f*****g waste of time. I should be playing with my classmates, throwing rocks with them. Seems fun. Fun? Just to let you know if I am a psychopath then I shouldn't think like this right? My head hurts. The monster on scrub always told me that I'm a psychopath. I heard them. If I'm a psychopath, I should be planning on peeling everyone's skin and attaching it to mine so that I can disguise it as "normal". If I'm a psychopath I shouldn't stop stabbing my classmates' eyes when the teachers come. You know it's a sign of respect, however, I enjoyed it though and I am sure he did too. These monsters are just boring creatures who don't know how fun works. Because all they care about is money. Money? Oh, I remember my mom first accused me of under normal when I stole her 50 bucks when I was three. She started rapping, to be honest, I didn't know she was a good rapper until that day. She spits words such as "how'd you know its fifty?" And many more. Honestly speaking, she should've been more thankful to God for giving her a bright three years old son who can write and read after 1 week of nursery school. What an ungrateful person.