Chapter 7: Cakes and ass cakes
1645 Words
12th January
Birthdays were so......unnecessary for me. It’s just a countdown to your demise. What is the point of toiling and struggling on this earth for more years to survive and still die?
“I hope to reincarnate as a tree,” I remarked, poking the three-tier purple and pink chocolate cake Nengi had ordered for me, which happened to be my favorite hue and flavor.
“You always....mmmhfhkk... say bullshit,” Sally said across from me, stufing her face with lemon slices and cucumbers dipped in cake frosting. If this is how pregnant cravings are, I am not interested. Speaking about nonsense while taking weird food combinations.
Nengi had flown Sally in from Texas for my birthday, and we had ended up at a tipsy amingo restaurant. I’d never felt more cheated in my life since I don’t remember telling Nengi it was my birthday today and she had me accompany her out because she supposedly required me and Wena for moral support during her non-existent picture shoot.
“I actually do have a photoshoot later today if that’s why you’re staring at me like you want to kill me,” I kicked her under the table. “All of these...” I waved at the cake and the very costly gifts. “It’s lovely, what a lucky girl I am to have the both of you by my side, but it’s just too much,” I said, recognizing a Burberry purse from a hundred miles away.
“It’s literally nothing; I had a spare $73,000 in one of my accounts that I completely forgot about and wasn’t using.”
“You had $73,000 lying around?Who has that much spare cash?” Sally interjects.
“Her daddy is Baranago of B and F Petroleum Corporation Oil PLC, and of course she has spare money.”
“WHAT!” Sally screams, and Wena leaps to the table.
“You’re going to give my child PTSD one day,” I mumbled as I rubbed Wena’s fur to calm her down.
“With whom are you best friends? An an oil trust fund baby, not everyone has this to their name,” she said before going on to consume another strange food combo that I won’t reveal.
Wait until you learn about her monthly allowance.”
“Shh, you Capricorns, I’m keeping a low profile.”
Nengi said quietly
“I’m not a caprisunne,I give it to your dad for keeping a low profile on his kids; I didn’t even know what you or your siblings looked like,” Sally observed dryly.
“Are you now a Nigerian billionaire connoisseur?” I inquired.
“One thing about me is that I’ll keep up with the stacked melanin men.”
“It’s getting embarrassing, but I need to get to my shoot.” Nengi chuckled as she packed her belongings.
“She’s making me follow her to this billionaire camp next month...”
“Tanya!” She stared at me as she walked away from the table, saying, “I’m going to pay the bills, don’t look at my ass”
As soon as Nengi left, Sally showed me her phone screen, which showed a Google search for Duke Baranago.
“His net wealth is 2.8 billion dollars, and his generation......”
Whatever she was saying, I couldn’t hear because I swear I saw a man with extremely recognizable black and curly hair, but his back was to me.
“Give me one second, Sal,” I said, my pulse racing and my heart in my throat. When Nengi got in my way, I rose up and continued heading across the restaurant to him.
“Not you, escaping your birthday dinner.”
“I’m not....” I turned around to see whether he was still there.
“OK...you appear to be lost; where are you going?”
“That person over there appears to be someone I’ve lost contact with.”
“I paid the bills, and my manager is waiting for me outside.”
“Okay, bye, I’ll meet you at home.” I kept walking until I arrived at his table. “Pablo?”
“Talking to me?” I was taken aback as the alleged Pablo turned around.
“I’m sorry, but you appeared familiar from behind.” “It’s ok mam,” he said, smiling and continuing to eat.
I moaned defeatively and walked to the public convenience to adjust my wig beneath my party hat. What on earth was I thinking? I can’t just approach any curly-haired person and hope it’s Pablo. I finished fixing my wig and went to see Sally, who was still researching Nengis father’s net worth while Wena was tampering with my gift wrappers.
“Her mother was an actress and one of the late king’s daughters.I need to go to the motherland,” she says, dropping her phone and giving me her complete attention.
“What exactly are you thinking about right now?”
“Nothing” I cut a piece of cake and took a large chunk “I know stress eating when I see it”
“Says a pregnant woman” I said between bites “Hey, I’m eating for two!”
“Not much on me.”
“Whatever rocks your world...”
“I don’t feel well at all.”
“What exactly is it?” I quickly moved over to her side of the table.
“I think I’m going to die” she makes gargling noises and the next thing I hear is a very very large fart. The occupants of the nearest table besides us turn to our direction. I look away in shame
“Oops” Sally cheeked
Wena brought her head out of the bag and looked at me in a condescending judgmental way
“I didn’t do it”
“The way I’m on heat , whew I need Ty in me right now”
“Like I’ll always say, you keep inspiring me to not do the pregnancy thing”
“That’s not a nice thing to say to a pregnant woman”
“I’m never going to hear the end of it. Can’t wait till that baby comes out”
“Touche”
“Let’s go, I’m tired”
“Bye”
I scowled at her
“Bye? Are you not coming with me?”
“No I’m going back to the airport,” she stage whispers “I’m on heat”
“Eww, let’s go Wena”
Reason 1000 why elevators will always be the boss. I was holding the cake in a 12, 10, and 8-inch box with both hands, Wena’s leash wrapped on my left, and the gifts in their shopping bags on my right. I couldn’t have done it while mounting the stairs to the sixth floor. “Please hold the elevator,” I yelled at the red-haired man in front of me.
“That’s a lot of cake, let me help you with that,” the redhead replied, lightening my load. No offense, but his sharp accent reminded me of scones and tea.
“Thank you so much,” I sighed contentedly.
Wena, the social Queen that she is, approached him magnificently, stroking her body against his leg. Is I the only girl who isn’t in heat?
“What’s the name of your cute bichon frise?”
“Wena,” I exclaimed abruptly, glaring at Wena, who wasn’t even looking at me.
“Nicename”
2...3...4... the elevator couldn’t move faster than this
“I’m Oliver Campbell by the way” he released one hand from the boxes and for a split second I feared they were going to fall off.
“Tanya Hawke” I hesitantly shook his hand.
Finally, I’m on the sixth floor! I hurriedly exited the elevator with a hesitant Wena, but he followed....
“Thank you, but I can take it from here”
“Don’t worry, I’m on my way to 6B.”
“Oh, you’re a new neighbor?I’m just used to being on this floor with my roommate,” I said as I walked him to my door.
“For real this time, I’m good, thanks,” he huffed and smirked before hesitantly handing over the cake boxes to me. Our fingers became entwined, and I wanted nothing more than to hold it forever.
I’m in a nasty mood.
While he moved away, I glanced at his ass, English men had a good ass word to Henry Cavil and Matt Smith.
He came to a halt, straightened up like a toy soldier, and fiddled with his wallet, attempting to pull out his key card after 100 years. He seemed to spend time just so I could continue to admire his buns. How had I not noticed this man before? His hair was a big red bush that encircled two large, green eyes. Freckles peppered his cheeks, but they were only apparent in direct sunlight. His long, lanky figure and hair made him look like a gigantic red lollipop, which was accentuated by his tendency to blush frequently.
His suit jacket had freshly polished buttons, and the scarf around his neck was fastened so that the rufes precisely llled the space left free by his coat. He was flawless.
If Oliver spotted me watching, I didn’t notice as I pushed myself in and slammed the door so hard it frightened Wena. My heart was pounding so hard and so quickly in my throat that it was nearly painful. My breaths came out in frantic gasps, as if I’d raced a mile but all I did was look at ass.
“He hadn’t noticed me, Wena.” I inquired of a retiring Wena, who was pleasantly seated on the chair.
But I couldn’t help but wonder—what would he have done if he had?
- Writer
