Marry me and watch me burn

“Layla… come here. Sit down.” The way Dad said my name made me scared. I knew instantly that something was wrong, something had happened and I was just about to find out what it was. He didn’t use his normal warm voice that he used to tell me bedtime stories, I had never heard my dad call my name with such tension in his voice before. “What is it, dad?” I asked, hugging the back of the chair. He didn’t answer me right away. He looked like he was lost in his thoughts. He just kept staring at the wall with his elbows resting on the table and his palm rubbing his face like the words might break him if he let them out. Mom sat on the sofa, with her two hands resting on her knees and her face bent downwards, whispering numbers under her breath. Mia held onto her leg, her round eyes looking at dad then at me, trying so hard to understand what was going on. “Dad?” I tried calling him again, to see if my tiny voice could bring him back from wherever his mind was. Dad exhaled, long and tired. “They’ve taken everything, Layla.” He tried to sound stable and firm, but I could here the disappointment in his voice. “Cross Empire… they manipulated the market. There was nothing I could do.” “Taken everything?” I repeated after him as if that would make me understand what he was saying. “What does that mean?” “It means…” He looked at me and he let out a deep sigh. “It means everything I built is gone.” I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I still couldn’t comprehend what he was saying and apparently, Mia didn’t too Mia frowned. “Gone where?” He laughed, but it didn’t sound genuine at all. He just sounded like a broken alarm clock. “Nowhere, that’s the problem.” Mom suddenly snapped, “Don’t talk like that in front of them.” “She deserves to know,” Dad responded almost immediately . “She’s a child!” I gripped the chair harder. I could hear the sound of my little heartbeat fill my ear. “Why did Cross Empire take it? What did we do?” “Nothing, sweetheart,” my mom said quickly, also trying to force a smile that didn’t look real. “It’s complicated.” “I can understand,” I explained. “Tell me.” Dad shook his head. “No, you cannot Layla, not this.” Mom stretched out her hands to receive me. Her hand were very cold and I could no longer see the warmth in her eyes. “We’ll be fine.” She said. “We’ll figure it out together.” But Mia’s lip trembled. “Are we poor now?” The question caught mom off guard. “Mia,” Dad whispered, crouching down beside her, “things are going to be a little different for a while, but we’ll take care of each other. That’s what matters, okay?” “Different how?” Mia whispered. Dad didn’t answer. The TV in the corner muttered like an unwanted guest. Headlines scrolled across the bottom: Local Company Collapses amid Cross Empire Maneuvers. I didn’t know what half of those words meant, but I saw the sadness envelope my father’s eyes as he looked at the TV. “Are we moving?” I asked. Dad rubbed his temples. “Maybe.” “Where?” “Layla…” Mom’s voice wavered. “Let’s not talk about this right now.” “But everything’s changing,” I whispered. “I can feel it.” No one corrected me. No one disagreed with what I said and that’s how I knew I was right. I walked to the window. The sun was setting, I used to love this hour. The way It made everything feel soft and warm. But now it didn’t feel warm, nothing did. “Why can’t you fix it?” I asked confused. “You always fix things.” Dad’s shoulders stiffened. “ I wish I could, but I can’t this time.” I was little but I knew things were going to be very different from that moment onward. Mom looked at him in protest. “Stop saying that in front of them.” “I can’t lie to her.” “Then lie to me!” she snapped. Mia started crying, small hiccupping sobs. I rushed to her side, wrapping my arms around her. I tried as much as possible to keep myself from crying, even though the tears had already welled up in my face. “Shhh, It’s okay Mia” I whispered. “It’s okay. I’ll protect you.” She sniffled. “From who?” I didn’t have an answer. I thought to myself too. From who. It didn’t matter, all I could think of was protecting my family even though I knew I was too small and powerless to do anything. Soon after, Mia fell asleep curled up against me. I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t. I just stared at the ceiling, tracing shapes in the dark with my eyes. The house didn’t sound the same anymore. Even the old clock ticking in the hallway sounded louder, every tick reminding me of our reality. Then all of a sudden I could hear voices downstairs, apparently I wasn’t the only one awake. Mom’s voice. Dad’s voice. They weren’t talking, they were arguing. I had never heard my parents argue before. I slipped out of bed carefully so i wouldn’t wake Mia. She mumbled something in her sleep and rolled over, holding onto old stuffed rabbit. “…this isn’t your fault!” I could hear Dad’s voice. He sounded calmer and more collected than mom. “Not my fault?” Mom’s voice cracked like a breaking plate. The sound of her crying broke my heart the most. “You..... think..... you.....think......telling me that.........makes....... it any easier to...to..... watch.... everything fall apart?” “I’m trying to fix it!” Dad shot back, his voice louder than it was before. He was tired and frustrated. “I’m calling everyone I can. But Cross Empire has already bought out the board, the investors, everything!” “So what?” she snapped angrily . “We just sit here and watch our lives burn down?” “I didn’t say that.” “Yes, you did. You’re acting like it’s over. You’re acting like there’s nothing left for us, tell me, why do you give up so easily.” I pressed my hand to the banister, breathing slowly to keep my presence unnoticed. “You don’t understand how powerful they are,” Dad said. “One signature and they crushed us. This isn’t a fair fight.” Mom’s voice rose. “And what happens to our girls? What happens to Layla and Mia when you give up?” “Don’t say that!” “It’s true, isn’t it?” Her voice trembled. “You’re tired. You’re scared. I can see it.” “I’m human,” Dad whispered in submission. “Then be stronger,” mom said, immediately regretting it. There was a long silence, the both of them didn’t say anything anymore. The whole house was quiet, the only sound I could hear was the sound of the clock ticking and the sound of my little heart beating I held the railing tighter. I hated Cross Empire. I didn’t even know what they looked like or who they were, but I hated them with every part of me. I hated them for making my parents this miserable. Then I heard Mom’s voice again, softer. “Layla’s awake. She’s listening.” I froze. “Go back to bed, Layla,” Dad said, louder this time. I didn’t move. “Layla,” Mom repeated gently, “go to sleep, sweetheart.” I crept back into the room, climbed into bed beside Mia, and wrapped my arm around her. Her tiny body felt warm and safe against mine, and I wanted to stay like that forever, just the two of us against the noise downstairs. The next day, Dad left early to “make calls.” Mom sat on the sofa, staring at the wall like she was waiting for it to suddenly tell her the solutions to our problems. Mia followed me around, quiet and wide-eyed like she was scared that I was going to disappear. “Are they going to get a divorce?” she asked suddenly. I stopped. Divorce, where did she learn that from? “What?” “Divorce,” she repeated it casually, like it was a word she was supposed to know. “My friend’s parents fought a lot. Then they left each other.” I shook my head fast. “No. That’s not going to happen.” “You promise?” I swallowed. “Yeah. I promise.” But I felt uneasy, I shouldn’t have made a promise I wasn’t so certain about. We played with our old dollhouse for a while, though neither of us laughed. The dolls stood in silence, like they knew what was happening too. That night, I walked into the living room and saw Mom standing by the window. The moonlight painted her face silver. For a second, she looked… peaceful. She turned around, and then, she laughed. For the first time since yesterday she laughed genuinely. Mia ran toward her. “Mommy!” Mom bent down and hugged her tightly. I joined them, and for that one fragile moment, we were a family again. “Come here, silly geese,” she whispered. “My little girls.” I pressed my face into her shoulder. She was wearing her favourite dress and I could smell the fragrance of her lavender perfume. She pulled away slowly, tucking Mia’s hair behind her ear. “Go inside, girls. Get ready for bed.” I hesitated. “Mom?” “Hmm?” “We’re going to be okay, right?” She smiled at me. It wasn’t the broken, forced smile from yesterday. It was real and bright. But something in her eyes made me shiver. It was the way people smile when they’ve already made a decision. “Yes, baby,” she said softly. “I love you both. You know that, right?” Mia nodded. “I love you too.” I didn’t know why my throat burned. I wanted to stay there, I wanted to hold her. But I obeyed, like I always did. I went inside, and I never knew that was the last time I’d see her laugh, or even see her at all. The next morning, my mom was found dead. Suicide.