STEFANIA

Chapter Eight

"Perhaps someday I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow.

-Sylvia Plath

IT HAPPENS At some point we all are faced with decisions that would create different outcomes that could either be right or wrong. Kazimir Fyodorov the Lycan King isn't a stranger to such crossroads but when he makes a decision he never has regrets.

But it's been almost two weeks and he was still stuck at a point where he is caught between a hard place and a thorny path, and he can neither escape nor go back. He must make a decision, he must decide what is right and what the answers to his life are.

She walked into his life when he had given up on the idea of a mate, a mate wasn't a connection he needed or a connection he thought he desired and longed for, but before his gaze locked with hers his beast knew she was theirs. A connection he thought he could never feel with another person.

He still didn't need anyone by his side but as his father used to say."A Kingdom is only as strong as its queen." He didn't see it at first but he saw it in her on the day he brought her to the pack house.

She is completely unexplainable. You think she's a good girl but she is crazy and dangerously intelligent. At first, he taught she is someone who needed to be protected because she was fragile like a flower but during their conversation, he found out that she wasn't instead she was fragile like a bomb and you never know what she'll do next.

He realized she was chaos and beauty intertwined. She had everything his father had said a queen should have, resilience, intelligence, and ability to match his strength. It was easily decided that she would be a queen to his people and give him an heir, she would have everything she couldn't have before him so she wouldn't desire romance or love from him. It was a piece easily fixed together until he was pierced by her fallacies.

He realized a problem he taught he could easily solve unexpectedly became the most difficult one. His decision led him to the worst outcome.

Letting her leave like she wanted was the best decision but his beast would fight him over that decision like he had done when he locked her away. A week of total hell for him.

"Kazimir." He snaps his gaze to the door of the conference room to find Yaromir, his male Beta blue deep eyes pinned on him."What are you so disturbed about?" Yaromir could sense the tension rolling in Kazimir and the fact that when he entered Kazimir didn't notice.

Yaromir moves closing the distance."Nothing for you to be concerned about." He raked his fingers through his hair and released a short breath of exhaustion.

A few locks of Auburn brown hair fall over his eyes when he nods."Okay, I'll give you a day." it was a rare occurrence to find Kazimir bemused and disgruntled about something, but it's best not to push further because he would be the first person Kazimir comes to when willing to open up."I came to tell you that Waldron left last night."

"He. . ." Kazimir paused as he heard someone shut the door.

"Is this the wrong time?" Terina's lips into a coy smile as her gaze flicks between the two lycans in the room.

"No, come in." He assured as he gestured for her to come close and then cut his gaze back to Yaromir." It will be impossible to find him now but I need you to find out why he was here, and who he came for."

Hearing the door shut behind Yaromir, Terina plants herself on the chair in front of Kazimir with the long oak table between them."Are you okay?." With his gaze trying to read her expression, he pushed the papers and laptop on the desk to the side.

Gaze pinned on Kazimir she empties her apprehensions. Or rather, she attempts to."I'm leaving for Oseqn tomorrow." She announces. It's been on her mind from the moment she spoke to that Female vampire and it took twenty-four hours to come to this decision which would bring about an outcome she hoped she was prepared for.

This place was her home but Oseqn was her birthplace and it's been years since she returned.

"Why?" If Kazimir was shocked by her intention he didn't show it.

"Because it's been so long." She says without hesitation. She needed to keep her voice strong and unwavering to convince Kazimir that she was sure about her decision or he won't let her return.

"Jaketerina, I asked you why." He says impatiently, eyes brows raised and unsmiling.

She expected this reaction but it didn't stop her from feeling heaviness settle on her shoulder. A nervous pit opens in her stomach."Because I'm curious, so many years have passed, and enough time for things to have changed." She says weakly avoiding his gaze.

"Jaketerina." He never calls her Terina like she wanted everyone to call her by and when she asked him why didn't, he said her name means pure and that was his reason."Eyes on me." He added.

He hated it when she behaved edgy and shy in front of anyone including himself. Keeping eye contact with a person makes it easy to read them and it shows that you can't be swirled. That was what he taught her.

She lifts her eyes to meet his golden eyes."Remember what I told you when you were a child, on the day you cried so hard because you taught everyone hated you here?"

Yes, she remembered because on that day young Terina made promises to herself, promises she kept until this moment."Yes, I do. You said I should study hard and while studying hard I should have fun like other pups my age, I was also allowed to eat nice and slow because that's the way I should live my life in a place that would always be my home."

He leans forward."Okay, you can leave but remember no matter what changes you discover, you must return home."

She nods, a tight smile spread across her face."I will, but no sentries."

"They will be as many as possible or you very well cancel your trip." He deadpanned.

She raises to her feet."Okay, my majesty." She chuckled and then did a bow before leaving.

His Insomnia was at its highest. So going home isn't an option because since his mate sleeps in the packhouse he also has to, even though not in the same home but at a safe distance from her is enough to appease his beast. His Insomnia was bad before she came into his life but now it was at its peak, to the point that he has to take drugs before he can sleep.

As his head hits the pillow he shuts his eyes. It's been five days since he last slept, he could go a week without sleep but it still takes a toll on his physical states. It would take thirty minutes for the effect of the drug to kick in, which is enough time for his mind to wander.

He was never good at emotional stuff except for anger. Anger, he was good at but now he has to learn new emotions to draw her because that's the only way he could keep her for his kingdom. Love wasn't on the card for them because this would be a union of benefits as it should be. She needs a safe place and he needs a strong heir, they both would have something to gain and it would make him lose nothing.

But why did he? Despite everything, he still chose the thorny path once again.

WHAT HAD Been mere Presumption became inevitable the moment it was verbalized. A connection she taught she had the upper hand turned out inevitable, she could feel as much emotion as he could because he supposedly was the other half of her soul.

A romantic relationship wasn't a connection she saw written in her future and something she wanted or needed, not in the past, now, or future. Relationships are chaotic, people's feelings get hurt, mate or not. She doesn't need such commitment and uncertainty because you never know how damaged you will get when it all comes crashing down.

She'd seen how mates behave when together, mates are supposed to be two people with the same view on life and fit perfectly in all ways. But no matter how long she tried to understand why they were each other's mates, she couldn't because they had a thousand differences and no similarities.

Different personalities, different principles, and different wounds and they have met with these differences so it was only natural that they will keep on crashing and she has no idea what to do with them. The bond between them has entangled them both on a path, leaving them with no option but to walk through a path with no knowledge of what awaits them.

But in life, there are many things you start even without knowing the end and this was one of those moments for her. She wasn't dreaming of a happy end or tragic ending because all she wants is to know the truth about her existence.

He had something she didn't, he had power, home, and connection all over the world. With all these, he could help her trace her past and if staying by his side meant she could seek out her past then she had decided to stay by his side but she won't stay long enough to watch everything crashing down between them.

But there was one thing she has to do before starting her new journey. She must have nothing, nothing to lose when it's all over.

Pushing the door of Mitzi's room open she walks in."Hey!" Before she could detect the voice behind her, someone grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her right hand back in a painful grip which locked her in place"You shouldn't be here." The voice sounded like a female's voice but Manya could only focus on the pain as the hold tightens.

Doing as she was taught she headbutts the female hard then moving quickly she sends her leg back hitting her hard on her kneel which caused her to push Manya forward and almost led her to lose her footing. Speed is very important in combat, a great form of defense and Manya had that strength.

Giving female lycan no opportunity to defend herself Manya delivered a kick to her thigh, legs, and chest, quick and strong enough to send her to her knees. The female lycan let out an enraged growl, stance showing she was looking for an opening to attack.

"Calm down." Manya demanded as she stepped back, creating a safe distance."I know you know who I am to her." She nodded her head towards Mitzi.

Eyes pinned on the female lycan she watched as her gaze moved passed her, it took a few seconds before gray eyes lock back on Manya."I wasn't given the order to let you close to her by the King so you've only two minutes with her." She said through gritted teeth and then left.

Manya didn't move into motion immediately, she took a few seconds to gather and edit everything she had in her mind to say."Who is she? Was she assigned to keep a close watch on you?" She questioned as she closed the distance between them.

"She is not just a sentry, she is the only one who takes care of me since I arrived here." Manya squats in front of her. The wing and contact lens Manya put on her was gone but that didn't bother Manya because she could see Mitzi was protected and treated well."How have you been? Did you see Waldron? " She signed with concern written on her features.

No matter how much he disappointed them, Mitzi always forgave him with her trust never wavering. "Waldron left. Again like every other time." It's been two days and no appearance, like always he left but this time much too early. it felt like one minute he was right in front of her and the next minute he was gone without any warning.

"He will be back."

"I'll be far away before that happens and I'll make sure he never finds us because I don't need him and I stopped caring a long time ago." Manya's voice had a confident tone, telling Mitzi that she meant every word." I just need you to trust me. I don't know why terrible things happen to us sometimes but I have to believe something good is gonna come out of this."

"I trust you and I'll always be on your side."

"I know." Manya lifted her hands to brush a loose strand behind Mitzi's ear."How do you feel staying here?"

"I am being treated nicely by Karina and this is the nicest place you ever brought me, I think it is more stunning than the beach you were planning on taking me." Her eyes lightened and a wide grin spread across her face as she spoke.

"Karina is the female guard, right?"

"Yes."

She stands to her feet."We might not see frequently but I want you to know I will be doing fine." Manya leans down and planted a long kiss on her hair and then hugged Mitzi tightly.

Manya did not tell her that the king was her mate just as he was hers and that this was the last time they would be this close because she was letting Mitzi go and this was farewell to her.

Manya pulled away." Don't cry." Mitzi frowns.

"What?" Manya looked confused as she lifts her fingers to brush over her cheek to find the spot wet. True, she had pink tears on her cheek and she didn't even know she was crying until Mitzi pointed it out."I'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm crying because I'm angry that I've to leave you once again." She quickly wiped the tears away and with one last hug she walked away.

Manya could see they would never have a home no matter how hard she tried and she couldn't put Mitzi through this new path of uncertainty. Mitzi has been through hard times with her so she deserves the peace she'd here. It took so long to understand but now she understands why Mitzi didn't want to leave, she didn't want to leave because she was tired of moving every two years and she just wanted to have peace.

She didn't want Mitzi to carry her burdens, that's why she must make a decision, decide what is right and what the answer to life is before she can stand in front of Mitzi again. So now she would watch her from away.

I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... Stronger.

Joker quote