All about the money

Being young and confused is something that always has bothered me from time to time, I was always wondering and thinking about everything that I have been feeling. I was about 16 years old when I first discovered I was not like any other girl from my neighborhood. I noticed I was only interested in being around girls, I always thought "maybe it's because I am a girl after all" , oh! little did I know. September 18. She was driving a BMW could not tell which model it was but it looked soo convertible.  I could not help but stare so hard at the auto mobile. Before I knew, the car's passenger window was already rolled down, "you like what you see hey"? she said, I was so silent as if my tongue was cut off. this was the day I met the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life, her beauty was that of a carnation flower that had just blossomed. she asked if I need a ride home, my eyes were glued to her now, her voice brought joy to my ears, I told her "yes I would appreciate that mam" as I walked towards the car.  As we drove around she kept asking about myself and what I do, I tried to keep the conversation going by telling her about myself even though I did not want to say a lot. The moment I felt comfortable was when she started telling me about herself and her sexuality, "Gay" that's what she called herself every time she mentioned it. she asked if I was gay or knew anything about being gay, I felt my heart beat so hard as if it was enslaved to my chest. when I saw my gate , all I wanted to do was jump out of the car and run into the house, we arrived so soon I could not even tell what time I arrived, before I could hop out she held my hand, I looked at her and before I could say anything she said " can I have your number?, I would love to be your friend". little old me gave away her numbers like they were free candy bars. she then drove away, I stood by the gate till the car was no longer there. I kept thinking about her throughout the night, I felt so attached to her in a very amazing way, although I could not fully understand why, I just kept on thinking and blushing all night long. at some point I felt like it was so wrong to have such thoughts and feelings about someone whose older than I am, but I decided to be stupid and naive to think it was innocent. She called me the next day, we made plans to meet up.it was very easy for me to just leave because we stayed with the nanny who was always on duty during the day but left in the afternoon leaving me and my little sisters alone. I left and told the nanny I will be back before noon. I wore one of my best outfits I had for special occasions only, she picked me up in a different car that day, I could not believe my eyes, I hopped in and as we drove away she told me we were going to her house, see right there, that's where I started fearing for my life, in my head I had thought I was being abducted by this lady I had just met yesterday, I was already regretting my decision and talkin to myself in my head about how stupid I was. I asked if I was going to be there with her alone, " well I live alone" she said, 'so vague' I thought, but I still laid back and continued the trip with her. when we arrived, I thought we were still driving to her house. from the entrance I had no idea we were already there, that's how rich people live like if you must know. when we approached her house, all I could see was nothing but a castle, I asked if we were at the right place , she laughed and told me to relax. we went inside the house, Lord oh! lord! the house was so beautiful, I felt like I was in one of those dreams we have about being wealthy and living in a huge mansion. "feel at home" an old phrase used in many households to make visitors feel comfortable. she asked if I need a drink, I was to hydrated by the amount of beauty surrounding me ,I did not need anything. we sat down and we started having the conversation about sexuality again, I told myself that today I am going to dig into it as much as I can. I told her about how I felt whenever I was around girls and how I felt around boys, I knew I was different in a way but I just kept it hidden in me, I never even had a chance to explore the feeling so I decided to ignore it until now. she told me it was okay to feel different and that she will help me find my true nature, I did not know what that meant by hey! I was ready for something I had no idea what is was about.  After some hours of having a long and tiring conversations, she decided to take things to another level, she leaned unto to me slowly, I started feeling hot, I could feel the sweat internally straight from my brain and down to my spine. she kissed me, it felt so new to me, I have never kissed a girl in my life let alone a boy. I pulled away from the kiss, she looked me straight in the eyes and said " you will be fine" ,again ' how vague'. she tried one more time and I just fell into it, I went with the flow and next thing I know we were getting naked. I stopped and told her I am new to this, she told me its okay I can learn by doing everything to her. I was only 16 by then but I though that it was okay so let me just do it. she taught and showed me what to do, I then started feeling comfortable and decided to drive myself throughout the whole thing. when we were done she asked if I was okay, I could not feel even better. I took a shower, we went out to eat then she drove me back home. I still don't understand why I felt the need to tell her whatever I told her that day but I feel like it was the reason why my life took a sudden twist into things. I told her that I cannot be what she wants me to be and that I can only be her friend, she was okay with that, but you know what they say, " be careful what you wish for". she dropped me off and went home. To me everything was okay, but little did I know what was happening in my mystery woman's head.