Love & Loss

Heavy Load

Usually Monte's is pretty hard to get into especially on short notice. Luckily the beta from the Crescent pack owns the restaurant so they never have any trouble. Most packs profit that way, ownings businesses, investing in shares. That way money is never a problem. Their pack owned a number of farms, two salons, three pizzerias, two laundromats and most recently an art gallery. James oversaw things but really Vince is the one who dealt with the legalities and business ends as the beta of their pack. They had more money than they would ever know what to do with. But you wouldn't know it by looking or being around them. That's not how they carried themselves. James watched his mate talk and laugh with her friend Maggie over dinner, letting her bond with her friend. They won't see much of eachother anymore. His mate has had to give up alot more than once. He wouldn't make it any harder than it had to be. The friend's date looked bored and James caught him checking out one of the waitresses more than once. The food was incredible as always. Most of the pack had ordered steak in some form. Willow had ordered three rare steaks. When asked how she wanted them cooked, she said she wanted to taste the blood. The friend had look horrified. James swallowed his laugh. The friend was also vegan, she picked at some salad for most of the meal barely touching it. As everyone was eating dessert and talking, Willow's phone rang. She glanced at who it was, not wanting to tear herself away from her chocolate mousse pie, but deemed it important considering she answered the call during dinner. Willow whispered to James she'd be right back and went outside to speak to whoever was on the phone. James frowned. Who could it be?

"So, what's going on? What happened?" Willow asked into the phone already regretting answering it. But how could she ignore Seth after all he'd done for her in the past? He was drunk and sounded upset but Willow couldn't make out much of what he was saying, or trying to say.

"You...love....never...always...please..." Seth cried and slurred his words. Willow squinted as if that would make her hear him better. She smelt her mate coming. He wouldn't be happy, especially after finding out who it was.

"What do you want me to do?" Willow asked helplessly. Then felt his chin rest on her head, and his arm wrap around her waist so his hand held her stomache. He felt warm against her and without hesitation or thought Willow leaned back into him, closing her eyes.

"Come....please..." Seth pleaded and Willow sighed.

"I can't do that. I'll talk to Maggie and have her come check on you. Stay put." Willow hungup before Seth got another word in and turned to face her mate. "I'm sorry, I just.... it's hard to abandon people, yknow?" Willow murmured. James' anger faded at those words and he nodded kissing her forehead.

"Yes, I know. Come finish that pie." Willow met his smile and followed him back inside grateful that it was James the Moon Goddess chose to be her mate. Willow couldn't imagine anyone better.

A week later, Willow began to show. Not much but enough. Very soon for a human that's for sure. Her appetite continued at a steady level with six raw steaks a day along with regular meals that she's mainted cooking while she can. James had a lot of meetings with surrounding packs. He hadn't shared anything with his mate about them and she hadn't asked. The midwife came one day to check on Willow and the pups. She was an older woman but not elderly, not what Willow was expecting. She took Willow into the guest room and examined her there. Willow lay flat on her back and felt the woman's small warm hands massage around her abdomen.

"Oh, yes. I feel the pups. All..1...2...3...4...5." The woman smiled wide. "I haven't delivered so many in some time now. You must know, there are some pretty big risks to carrying five pups to delivery." The woman looked at Willow.

"I know it's dangerous. I also know that I will not harm any of my pups in anyway." Willow said sternly, relieved when the woman smiled.

"Good, good. Have you began to lactate yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Alright, that will most likely happen within the first three months. Where do you plan to deliver?" When Willow looked at the woman with a blank expression the woman smiled. "Well, a bed will always due. Or outside could be easier with the pups. You do plan on delivering in wolf form, correct?" Willow nodded. "Delivering five in human form is much more dangerous not just for them, but for you as well, Luna."

"I know where I will deliver them. There's a spot in the woods about three miles from here. Away from the humans and near the water." Willow smiled thinking about her spot she'd gone to all these years.

"Perfect! And your appetite?"

"I've been eating alot of steak and a lot of everything else too." They both smiled.

"For you and your pups to grow as strong and healthy as you will need to be for delivery, there must be a lot of raw meat. You will need the nutrients, my Luna. Letting the pups go hungry is the quickest way for them to perish. Or try to shift inside of you and if that happens and you're in human form...." The woman looked away. "Let's just make sure you stay fed."

"Thankyou, Helena. Thankyou so much."

Later that night the house was quiet as James and Willow were alone in the home. The rest of the pack had gone camping out near the beach for the week leaving them with some privacy that they were both very grateful for. Willow was lying on the couch looking at magazines with baby items near the fireplace in the living room when James sat on the floor in front of her, leaning his head back against the cushion. Willow ran her fingers through his hair softly admiring each curve of his body. The few scars he wore on his chest and back. The strength in his shoulders and arms. She couldn't wait to meet their pups. It didn't matter if they were girls or boys, as long as they were healthy and alive.

"Whatcha looking for?" James purred closing his eyes enjoying his mate's affection.

"Nothing and everything. "Will answered making them both smile. "We haven't talked about the living arrangements once they're here."

"What do you suggest?" James murmured, groaning softly as her fingers raked his scalp. She loved the effect she had on him.

"I'm not sure what would work best. There's the two guest rooms of course that we could just decorate with neutral colors since we don't know until they're born. But once their older they will need more room."

"We own this whole property. All ten acres. We'll build onto it. We can build homes for the pack and keep this, our home." James declared and Willow smiled. He'd already planned it all out.

"Well, there you go then." Willow smiled and leaned forward kissing his forehead, now raking her fingers up his torso and along his chest. He growled with lust.

"What're you doing to me, woman?" James asked huskily climbing on top of her on the couch, meeting her lips in the dance they've come to love.

"Just my job." Willow teased and grinded herself against his hardness. James was a second away from ripping off his mate's clothes when the phone rang. Normally it would've been ignored but he sensed it was important. It was Vince. Willow frowned with confusion and worry as her mate jumped off of her and into the kitchen for the phone. James turned and glanced at Willow before taking the phone outside. She got the hint so she put the magazine down onto the coffee table and headed upstairs for a bath. Once naked Willow started the bath and lit some candles. Their bath wasn't just a regular home bath, it was a large jacuzzi that could fit six. The room began to smell of lavendar and Willow sighed as she sank into the hot water, leaning her back against the wall of the jacuzzi. Her body just started to relax when Willow felt a stabbing pain across her abdomen and up her stomache. As if she were being sliced open with a large heated kitchen knife. Willow cried out in pain, gripping the sides of the jacuzzi. Her eyes had squeezed shut as the pain grew. She could smell her mate coming closer. When she opened her eyes the bath was red, blood filling it. Willow screamed and ignored James at her side. He unplugged the drain and was on the phone with Helena in seconds. As the blood and water emptied the tub the site between Willow's legs pierced both of their hearts.

"We just lost one, he's gone." James spoke emptily into the phone. His eyes didn't leave their dead pup that would've been a boy. Willow's eyes had focused on the pup too before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her body fell against the jacuzzi.

Willow had clung to her father's leg as a rogue tortured her beaten mother. Mother was tied to the four bed posts in her parent's bed with four rogues surrounding her, taking turns. Even more rogues were behind Father and Willow, ready to kill if given a reason. They were going to kill anyway but they wanted them to watch eachother suffer first. Willow didnt know where her brothers were and she shook, her dress soaked with urine and blood. After the four men had finished with Mother the leader took a knife to her throat and without hesitation slit it, blood splattering and pouring everywhere. And just like that Mother was gone.

"Your turn." The leader smirked at Willow.

"She's just a child." Father had said, refusing to give the men the satisfaction of seeing him cry. They didn't deserve that.

"She's also a woman with a very pretty dress." The leader moved toward Willow and Father quickly launched him across the room. It only took seconds for men to get ahold of him and slit his throat as well. But by then Willow was already out of the house and shifting, running far away. With nowhere to go and no family to care.

Willow awoke gasping for air. Her throat was dry as if she hadn't drank in weeks. She was in their bedroom, James rushed to her from the window. There was a throbbing between her legs and Willow remembered, her face falling. James took her in his arms and cradled her gently as she whimpered and began to cry.

"My baby...I lost our baby..." Willow sobbed into her mate's chest hard. Her entire body shook with each cry that could be heard not only throughout the house but across the property. It was two days later and the pack had returned from their trip, upset to hear about the losses and worried of the health of their Luna. Helena had come that night and assisted James. As he sat near the tub waiting for Helena another pup had came, also not alive. He was lost, his mind whirring not knowing what to do. How to help his mate and save his pups. Two were gone. This one was a girl. Helena had arrived and helped to take the pups out of the bath. Willow had passed out and Helena was worried she wouldn't survive the night. They cleaned her up and cooled her off with some ice. And then they prayed. The sun was rising when James saw the puddle of blood staining the sheet covering his mate. When he lifted the sheet he found their third pup, also deceased. Another girl. That night they were kept in a shoebox and buried the next morning in the backyard.

"My Luna," James murmured softly, not wanting to tell her. Willow looked up with teary eyes and a red face, waiting. "We lost three. Two girls and a boy," James murmured and heard the worst sound he had ever heard. A toe curling scream that faded into a deep cry. And she cried for hours. James lay beside her, holding her and praying they didn't lose anymore pups and thanking the Moon Goddess for keeping his mate alive. He didn't know what he'd do without her. Mark came to the door at some point in the evening and knocked lightly, holding a tray of food. They smelt the raw steaks, corn and sweet potatoes. Willow's stomache growled but she made no attempt to move. She stared blankly out of the window, done crying and empty.

"Thanks." James said while taking the tray from his brother who looked sympathetically at his Alpha and Luna before leaving the room. James ran a hand up his mate's bare back. "You need to eat," James murmured. Willow said nothing, didn't even acknowledge him. "Willow." He pleaded. She heard the desperation in his voice and wanted to fix it. But she couldn't.

"The Moon Goddess made a mistake." Willow whispered quietly, her voice raw.

"How's that?" James wondered. Willow turned and sat up, taking the tray into her lap.

"I'm not meant to have a family. Not a pack. Making me your Luna was a cruel joke." Willow said evenly before biting into a steak.

"You are my mate. I love you. It was no mistake," James's voice was confident and Willow said nothing, finishing the first steak avoiding his eyes.

"You said it yourself, the Luna's whole purpose is to..." Willow began and James covered her hand with his.

"I know what I said, I was wrong. And you are still carrying two pups." James said and Willow nodded slowly.

"Where...where are they?" Willow whispered and met his eyes for the first time.

"We buried them in the backyard the next morning. There...there was nothing to see, my Luna." James's voice broke and Willow squeezed his hand with a small nod before biting into the second steak. "Helena said to take it easy and not do too much. If you need help with something, anything ask someone in the pack if I'm not around. Vince would be happy to help, even Mark. You shouldn't hunt anymore right now either,"

"Okay," Willow murmured.

"I've got to see the Crescent Alpha tonight. I've tried pushing it off but it's urgent. Mark will be here and Vince will also. Call me if you need to." James urged watching as Willow finished off the second steak and slid the tray to him, turning over onto her side with her back to him without another word.

Willow slept for what felt like months. She got up to use the bathroom when necessary, James helped her into the shower everyday and either James or Vince brought her food throughout the days. She couldn't stand to look at the bathtub. She'd never get in it again. One afternoon when laying in bed and staring out the window, Willow felt a kick. A small one at first but when she placed her hand on her abdomen there was another one. And it was harder. Willow smiled for the first time in over two months. She slowly got out of the bed and moved for the stairs. Keeping one hand on her abdomen as the kicks continued.

"James!" Willow called from halfway down the stairs and in seconds James and Vince were at the stairs, confused. James made his way to her, eyeing the hand on her stomache. And she was smiling. "Feel." Willow whispered and took his hand onto her abdomen. They were all silent for a moment before there was another kick, harder than the last. James grinned with happiness and surprise as he rubbed along her abdomen.

"This just started?" James asked as he lifted Willow into his arms and carried her into the living room where Mark was sitting on a couch playing xbox. James sat beside his mate, his hands moving along her stomache, while Vince sat across from them on the couch with Mark. He smiled. Willow wished he found happiness with a mate.

"Yes, just now." Willow smiled as the kicks continued on either side of her stomache. They were both moving, both kicking.

"They're healthy." James smiled pressing his ear against her stomache. "I can hear the heart beats." Willow smiled as her mate pressed his face against her skin, she ran her fingers through his hair calmingly. She noticed Vince and Mark eyeing them.

"I'm glad your back, Luna." Mark said politely and it actually sounded sincere. She raised an eyebrow at Vince who shrugged.

"We all are. You've been missed." Vince agreed just as Lucas rushed into the room to grab another controller and get in on the game.

"Definitley your cooking." Lucas joked making them all smile.

"Thankyou, guys. For everything." Willow said quietly with appreciation.

"We're a family, that's what we do." Vince nodded watching as James enjoyed listening to the little pups roll around inside his mate.

"We've gotten started on the rooms. We painted one mint green and the other a light shade of yellow." James murmured, not moving his head. Willow looked down in surprise. "Wanted to leave you to picking out the baby stuff and decorations but Mark here built two bassinettes." Willow looked at Mark in shock. He shrugged without looking away from the screen. "So whenever you're ready to do some shopping, we can go to the mall. No rush." James looked back up at her, a hand staying on her stomache as he pressed his lips softly against hers. He'd missed his mate.

"Let's go tomorrow." Willow smiled and kissed him again. "Show me where." Willow said quietly and James nodded, taking her hand and leading her to the back yard. They'd chosen a spot right in front of the tree line in the center, side by side. There were small posts on each site with a moon carved into it. Willow walked closer until her fingers brushed along each moon, tears quietly falling from her cheeks. She was praying to the Moon Goddess. James watched and waited patiently. He'd had his own time out here with them. It was her turn. And then they both turned as they heard a car in the driveway. Willow recognized the sound of it. "Seth." She said quietly and crossed the backyard with James behind her. There was going to be no hiding it anymore, especially with what she wore. A white t-shirt that clung against the rounding of her stomache and some grey sweatpants. In the human world she looked to be about six months, when really she was 3 1/2. She'd hopefully carry fullterm to six months. As they went around the house to the driveway where Seth's car was parked, Willow spotted Maggie sitting in the passenger seat. She hadn't expected that.

"Willow...?" Seth asked from the porch, staring at her stomache. Maggie opened the car door and her jaw dropped as she followed his gaze. "How...that's impossible." Seth shook his head in disbelief. Willow placed a hand over her stomache.

"I've missed you guys." She said honestly and Maggie smiled, squealing as she came closer to feel the belly.

"Oh my gosh! When are you due? Do you know the s*x? Do Jack and Connie know? Are you going to be getting married?" Maggie had question after question and Willow smiled as Seth and James stared eachother down.

"I am due mid- December. There are two babies and we do not know the sexes. And you guys are the first I've told." Willow explained the best she could. Maggie's eyes widened when she heard there were two. But before she could asking anything else James' hand slid across Willow's abdomen, his eyes meeting Seth's.

"We will be getting married." James answered evenly making Willow's heart skip a beat. They'd never talked about that.

"Oh my god! When? Who will be in the bridal party? I'd love to help plan.." Maggie gushed and Willow laughed.

"I promised I'll give you all the details when I know them. I've been resting a lot, but if you want to come shopping with me tomorrow to get the nursery ready that would be great." Willow smiled at Maggie. She missed her best friend.

"You know I will! Text me what time to pick you up and we'll be here." Maggie promised and rubbed the belly again once more before climbing back into the car. Seth walked down from the porch, his eyes finally meeting Willows.

"You have to know how ridiculous this is, Willow. How selfish it is. What about Connie and Jack, huh? What about all they've done for you? And now you'll just run off with the first guy that looks your way and pop out a few bastards..." Seth ranted and Willow's eyes glared through him. She stepped forward and smacked him hard across the face. She could've done much worse.

"f**k you, Seth. Leave now." Willow said shaking her head in disbelief. Her tone was icy and cold, emotionless. Yet her eyes were brimming with tears. How could her best friend, how could Seth of all people say that to her? But Seth didn't move. He stood still, glaring at James.

"Seth! Come on, before you get your ass kicked you idiot." Maggie yelled from inside the car and James smirked.

"You should listen to your friend, kid." James nodded.

"You don't deserve her. There's nothing you could ever do to deserve her. You don't even know her. She's just a piece of meat to you, a hot piece of...." Seth muttered to James and Willow opened her mouth to stop him, but it was too late. James moved around her easily and lifted Seth off of the ground by his throat.

"Go on, you were saying?" James spat as Seth's face turned red.

"Drop him." Willow ordered softly with a hand on James' shoulder and he listened, dropping Seth to the pavement instantly.

"Come," James murmured and took his mate's hand leading her into the house through the front door. What a s**t show that was, Willow thought as the door shut behind them and the car squealed out of the driveway.

"I can't believe he said that to me," Willow whispered leaning back against a wall. James frowned realizing how much the kid had effected her. She had a good way of hiding that. "He called them bastards." She murmured cradling her stomache with both of her hands protectively.

"The kid is a jealous i***t. He said hurtful things, but you know he cares about you." James reassured her, lightly planting a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm going to start some dinner." Willow sighed lightly. As she turned toward the kitchen James gently pulled her against him.

"I miss my mate."James breathed into her ear making her eyes flutter shut with want.

"But..."Willow began with worry and James scooped her into his arms easily, up the stairs and into their bedroom in seconds.

"I will be careful. Helena said it was safe." James kissed down her neck heavily, hot against her skin. She was soaked by the time his fingers slid her sweatpants off. His mouth went straight for her breast. His chuckle surprised her until she looked down and saw what was so amusing. She was lactating.

"I'm sorry..."Willow whispered as her cheeks turned red and she moved to turn away, but James shook his head.

"Don't be," James told her as his lips went back to her chest. He continued to lick and bite her n*****s, licking the milk and purring as she moaned. James looked up at his mate who squirmed beneathe his touch. She was beautiful. As he slowed, Willow looked at him curiously. "Mary me." James requested softly. She knew that was his way of asking, but he was still an Alpha and that would always be a part of his character. Willow peered at him, searching his eyes.

"Why do you want to marry me?" Willow asked catching James off guard as she usually did. Resting a hand on her stomache, James met her eyes.

"From the second I saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with no one but you. You're beautiful, yes. Much more than just physically. I've never met anyone like you in my years. You're open but wise, kind but stern, you cling to unity but strive with independence. You challenge me in every way. You make me better, you keep me on my toes. And I would not want any other to carry my pups. You will be an amazing mother and wife, just as you are an amazing woman. Willow, you were meant to be here. Meant to be a Luna to lead this pack and meant to be my wife." James' eyes never left hers. And she fought her tears throughout each word. By the end she couldn't wait to say yes.

"Yes, I will marry you. I can't imagine being anywhere else." Willow whispered and James grinned, leaning into the nightstand to take out a small black box. Willow gasped softly as he opened the box and slid the ring onto her finger. It was gorgeous. It wasn't gaudy or shiny. It was thin and silver with a simple small diamond with a small moon inside of it. Inside the band read, "I will love you for all of my days".

"It was my mother's and my grandmothers, only Lunas of the pack have worn this." James told her before kissing her deeply.