Part 15
1746 Words
Sammy's P.O.V:
It has been several days since my dad called. I told Amber that he wants me to come home for christmas. Amber is worried about me and keeps trying to convince me to not go but I don't wanna upset her, although deep down, I'm scared too. I know why he called me, I have this painful gut feeling, but if what I'm feeling is true, I don't wanna spend even a second wasting. All I want right now is to keep Amber happy. She has started to blush around me even more and that's the cutest thing ever. I normally catch her glancing at me and when I look at her she just smiles and starts looking elsewhere but her cheeks fail her.
Amber has told me about her family dinner for christmas and I was happy for her. I signed the contract with the company today and sold my project and recieved the check right at the spot. The person who has been black-mailing me has told me to meet him 3 days before christmas in the busiest place of the city as I still wait for further details. My only worry now is my family calling me home. I like Amber, alot, infact I'm sure I'm in love with her. Before I leave I wanna make sure I tell that to her.
Amber has been out all day shopping for her family dinner while I stayed at home cooking and playing games on the Xbox. I have this new idea of a project in my head which I'll soon start working on, considering how that freaking dinner goes.
Amber is back, finally !. She's a book thief apparently as she has taken over the book I was reading. I am laying right next to her while she's reading and I'm trying my best not to stare at the gorgeous girl which I'm definately sure I'm failing at as I can clearly see her blushing again. She closes her book and lies down her body facing me, one hand below the pillow and other laid just inces away from me. God, I wanna take her hand. What if she thinks I'm being creepy?. God no. I copy her movement and put my cell on the night stand and turn towards her, putting my hand on hers. She smiled, which is a good sign.
"What are you thinking?" she caught me off guard. She already knows as I was staring at our hands.
"Nothing." lie.
"Tell me..."
"I'm scared.."
"Why? is it your dad? Sammy I told you, you don't have to go if you--"
"No. It's not that." I cut her off.
"Then what?"
"It's just.... It's just...you." i sigh.
"Me? You're scared of me? But why? I mean--"
"Ssshhh.. Amber. Quiet. Listen to me, please. It's already hard for me to open up. Just bear with me. Please." I quiet her placing a finger on her lips. I can hear her breathing change. But she simply nodds telling me to speak.
"O-okay... so.. I know that I literally kidnapped you, but honestly I don't regret it. It was probably one the best decisions I have ever made." I sound crazy. "Since you have come into my life, I've been.... happier. You make everything so better for me. I love waking up now just because I know when I'll wake up you'll be right here. I love out breakfasts and dinners together. I love how you care about me, even when I know I don't deserve it. Amber...you make me feel good in my skin, like you never judge me and listen to me. I love talking to you. Playing games on Xbox is way more fun now just because you keep teasing me. I love watching our favourite movies together. I love everything with you. You..... You just make my life worth living..." she's still quiet, I mean now might be the right time to say something.
"Then what scares you?"
"All of this... I am scared because you make me feel again." i sigh. "I am scared because I'm in love with you Amber. I am scared because I'm afraid that I am not good enough. I am scared of hurting you. I am scared of letting you down like every other person in my life. I am scared...... that you might not be able to love me when you truly see me for who I am..."
"Sammy...."
"hmm..." i nod without looking at her. I'm so nervous right now.
"Look at me.." I look up and see her eyes watering. I quickly lead forward and wipe the tears rolling down her cheek with my thumb. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm so sorry."
"Sammy I love you." I locked my eyes with her and for the first time since I started confessing I saw that smile on her face, she's happy. Amber's happy. I quickly take her in my arms and pin her in me. After a min I move back and put my forehead against hers. I am so happy. Amber loves me. Wow.
"Amber.... can I kiss you?" I asked. Not wanting to rush into it but before I could think next her lips were against mine.
I slowly kissed her. Not rushing into it and inhaling every part of this moment slowly. Her lips were the softest things my lips had ever touched. My mind being intoxicated by her body's fragrance. It wasn't just me kissing her, it was her kissing me back that had my heart go crazy. We pulled back only to breathe when Amber broke into chuckles, the sound of it lullaby to me ears. God I love her. I wanted to kiss her again but she surprised me by taking the lead, making our kiss more passionate and fast. It's like I have been used to the taste of her lips for as long as I can remember but still I can't get enough of it. Within no time Amber was on top of me kissing me wildly while brushing her body against mine and all of this was just turning me on more than I thought was possible. I got up and held her in my lap breaking the kiss. Her hands sneaking around my neck. I started kissing her face along her jawline, trailing down kisses from her lips to her jaw and back to her lips. I felt Amber's hands move from my neck to my back while she tried to remove my shirt which scared the s**t out of me. The scars, I can't her let see them. Not now.
"No." I nearly shouted.
"What happened?" she asked me clearly out of breath and in surprise. She moved back when she saw me breathing heavily.
"I-I can't. Please stop." I tell her holding both of her hands while getting off of the bed. I tripped and fell on the floor because of all the panting.
"Sammy!" she rushed to me, cupping my face in her hands.
"It's okay.. relax" she hugged me. She seemed so worried which made me feel worse. We sat like this until my breathing was restored. I held her from her shoulders and made her sit on the side of bed gently. I sat infront of her kneeling down as I put my head in her lap, her hands running through my hair.
"I'm sorry I took it too far. It's okay if you don't wanna do it. Just relax." she assured me. I picked up my head and looked in her eyes.
"I want to... trust me I do. I want that more than anything. I want to give myself to you. But--" I lowered my head trying to avoid eye contact.
"What is it? You can tell me."
"I'm... I'm just not what you think." I sighed.
"Sammy... you are perfect to me."
"No. I am not. You havent seen me like that. I-I.... I have...."
"Tell me"
"Scars.... the scars Amber... they never went away. My back...." i paused to get a grip on my words. Swallowing the thump in my throat as I spoke,"The wounds on ny back healed but the scars never went away. They said it'd remind me of my sin whenever I'd go astray. I am marked with them for the rest of my life Amber. I am ugly.... and now you know why I say, I don't deserve you"
"Sammy..." she made me look her in the eyes while she held my face so lightly "I don't care. You are perfect to me. I love you. Okay? I love you. I will wait until you can feel like opening up to me. You don't have to worry at all."
"Why...."
"Why what?" she asked kissing my forehead.
"Why do you love me?"
"Honestly, I don't think I can answer that because no matter how many words I say, I just won't be able to sum those reasons up for you. I love you so much Sammy and I want to give you all the love that you deserve. I want to take care of you. I want us to be together. I want this to work no matter how long it takes for you to open up. I'll wait. Trust me. Okay?. Now no more questions, come to bed with me."
She had me quiet by the way she said those words. She pulled me from my hands and onto the bed and laying in my arms just like she does everytime. She fits so perfectly against me, like this place was made for her. I was made for her. I'll never take this for granted. I'll hold on to her. I'll love her as much as I can and even more.
"Sammy?"
"Yeah?"
"I know you told me that you don't believe in them but can you promise me something?"
"Anything for you.." I said kissing her hair.
"Promise me this is forever...."
"I promise."
"Thankyou... I promise you too. I promise I'll never let you regret this. I promise I'll always love you. I promise I'll do my best to be worthy of your love."
"But you are Amber... You're worth so much more."
"Even when I say the eff word quite alot?" she said giggling
"Even with that. I love you for all your parts." I laughed.
"Thankyou.."
"For what?"
"Everything...." I smile, kissing her and hugging her closer.
- Writer
