Hitting Rock Bottom

Chapter 17 Cleaning Up

Yvette's POV

I open the door slowly to peak out. Just making sure he is not still right there by the bathroom, so I can get out and change into something, that I probably look better in, than this towel. I don't want him to see me and my sickly looking body anymore than he has to. I bet he would be disgusted and that's the last thing I would ever want to do. I have been trying to gain confidence back, not lose it.

My gaze bounces from one item to the next noticing he is not in here anymore. So I quickly open the door throwing my dirty clothes into my clothing basket that's besides my closet as I slip in and shut the door behind me. I flip on the light and look around at each piece of clothing to try to look better than before.

I have the strongest urge to impress him since he is going above and beyond what any man has ever done for me. I don't want him to be disappointed in me in anyway so hopefully he likes what he sees.

But at the same time, he has already seen me at my worst and still is supposedly sticking around. So that gives me a confidence in not just him but myself that I could maybe be happy. I mean come on, he is showing me things I never thought were real-life, only fantasy, like in the books I read.

Talking with me about my problems and standing by me when no one else would. I have never had that. The closest I had to that was when Ledge started going with me to all the Doctor visits but then he slowly stopped coming and just leaving me there alone.. Also Ledge never wanted to talk about our problems, he hated talking, he would try and turn it into a physical thing.. every single time. But not Malachi apparently.

I thought Malachi was starting the bath to get me naked in this vulnerable time for myself and I felt almost forced from my past fights with Ledge, to take my clothing off in thanks to make up with him. Because Ledge would only do things for me as long as he got something from it.. Which I thought was normal.. but apparently not.

But I do have to admit, when Malachi stopped me fron undressing, the overwhelming embaressment filled me up. I was also a little heartbroken, thinking he didn't want me or wasn't attracted to me.. but as I sat in that tub thinking about it.. I think he was just being respectful.. maybe.. hopefully.

In all honesty, Ledge never made me a bath or held me to make me feel better when I was emotionally broken.. For example, when we found out it was MY ovaries that caused us to not get pregnant because of the cancer.. The first thing that came out of Ledge's mouth was that he knew it was my fault and not his.. Making me feel worse about something I can't control.

But instead, tonight Malachi has held me and talked with me, showing that there are other ways my problems can be handled.. I know that sounds silly to some, but I didn't have anyone to talk to, not having an outlet I coukd rely on, so now having that is a strange but an enlightening and strengthening feeling for me.

Malachi even said he would clean up the mess I made and make me dinner? My mind is blown, thinking about that.. The last time I got mad and broke something, Ledge screamed at me and forced me to my knees to clean up the mess I made, saying I had to take responsibility for my actions. He wouldn't let me up until I grabbed every last piece of glass in the carpet. And believe me he let me have it when his foot got cut because I apparently missed a piece. That was a bad weekend I had to use lots of make uo to cover up.. I honestly thought that was him helping to shape me into a better person but now I'm starting to really believe this is a type of abuse.

Plus now that I think about it, he has never once cooked for me.. saying that it was the wife's job to be in the kitchen and that's where I'm meant to be, even after a long day at work, and being sick. Now that I really start to think about it.. What did I ever see in him? I saw a future and something we could mold into a great life.. But I have found out the hard way, when you try to force happiness, it won't work. I can't change him and he can't change me but maybe we don't need to be changed.. maybe we just need to find the person who will appriciate us for who we are, not who they want us to be.

My mind is reeling with these amazing thoughts as I slip on my favorite pair of plaid pajamas. They are tight shorts with a button up plaid shirt that covers up the concerning parts of my skinny body.. but still shows off the fattest parts of my body that survived because they were way bigger before the chemo. Like my butt, boobs and thighs.

I slowly open the door and peaking out again in complete nervousness.. no one but my husband has seen me in anything like this. Exposing most of my body, except for you know the pool.. But how often do I even go there? Not often at all. So this a whole different type of nerve-wracking for myself.

I make a stop at the bathroom again and looking at myself in the mirror. The normal pale of my sickly looking skin is actually bright and flushed, looking so much better. So I can't complain about that.. That bath must have been exactly what I needed.. who would have known he was actually right? I wouldn't have known I guess without trying. So I'm happy I did just that.

I stare at my reflection not hating myself as much as I normally do.. maybe that hard look at myself has really changed me for the better. I'm happy he didn't let me kill myself. I leave my hair down by brushing it because this wig is a little finicky. I have to take special care of it or it will look like a complete mess.

I turn to leave the bathroom as I notice Malachi on his hands and knees in the hallway picking up the glass for me. He is so sweet, I can't believe he is doing all this for me. I notice a smell, I suck in a sharo breath for a second to smell something starting to cook in the kitchen.

He is really doing this? What is this phenomenon? A man of his word. I'm in a type of shock and awe, that I have never experienced before. I have been let down in my life too many times to count, so to have someone who actually means what they say is shocking. But it's one of those things you have to see to believe, because actions always speak louder than words.

I observe him from afar, he looks handsome with his hair drifting in his face because it fell out of the elastics hold at some point in all the madness. His curly hair looks almost fake if I didn't see it for myself. I want his hair as a wig, it looks so beautiful in it's own way. He stops what he is doing as I watch him pick up the pictures I threw. He staring down at them intently.

I step closer before saying. "Who knew that those smiles and moments were all fake? I didn't know.. and thought I was in the best kind of bliss at that moment, ignoring all his short comings, just in hopes he could see past mine.. just to find out this was nothing he wanted and how miserable I made him.. I honestly thought that was how things were with men and the hurt I felt on a regular basis was normal.. Then here you come out of nowhere, showing me you're a completly different type of man, that I never even knew existed." I squat down taking the pictures out of his hands just to shred them between mine. "Wait you don't want those to keep?" he asks quickly as if I don't know what I'm shredding in my hands at this very moment. "No, I don't want these to look back on, because it was all a lie.. a fantasy that he made up, that wasn't even remotely true.. so why hold onto it?" I rhetorically ask him as his mouth opens and shuts looking like a fish making me smirk at that sight alone.

"It's ok I swear.. it's hard for me to think about him and our sh*tty situation, but it's something that I do need to think about, just to stay realistic with myself." I say to him softly with us being so close to each other.

"I just don't want you to hurt anymore. I just want to help you feel better about yourself and your life.. because you deserve just that." he says so sweetly to me making my heart jump so high it must have landed in the clouds.

I adore how gentle he is with me, and wish to show him how much I love all of this without crossing lines. I quickly drop the pieces of paper from my hands just to cup his cheeks. I pull him in until our lips touch just craving to feel his luscious lips pressed to mine. I have thought about this a couple times already but to think and to experience are two completely different things.

He is stiff at first until I hear him dropping the glass in his hands as he softens up just pressing back into my lips. His hands reaches for my cheek and the other to my hip as I notice he is now hovering over me in the doorway.

The moan that escapes my lips for his enthralling touch is something I never heard before. But it makes me want more from him, until I feel him stopping and pulling away from me. I'm embaressed that I took my shot and he didn't like it. "I'm so sorry for making you uncomfortable.. I just thought.. I don't know.. I'm sorry." I say turning away from him as I watch his head aggressively shake in front of me.

"No Yvette it's not that at all.. I swear.. I just didn't want to push things with you when you're still hurt from your surgery and I didn't want you to get anymore hurt from the shards of glass on the floor.. but I swear I loved every second of that." He says with his breath fanning over my lips.

"I didn't bother you?" I ask nervously as he shakes his head and pressing his lips back into mine. His hand drifts through my hair to the back of my head, pulling me in more as goosebumps are sent straight through every inch of my body. I find myself leaning into him as a loud beeping can be heard ringing through the house. He breaks the kiss looking over into the other room as we both realize it's the microwave beeping.

He smirks at me before leaning in to kiss me again but the same beeping can be heard ringing through the place again. He stops and letting out a deep breath saying. "To be continued.. if you want it to of course.. but I need to start dinner for you.. I bet you're starving." He says to me as I shake my head at him leaving, but nod at the fact that I am still hungry.

His deep baritone chuckle sounds so good especially when accompanied by his gorgeous smile. He reaches down, extending his hand to me as I willingly take it, letting him help me stand. When I get to my feet he picks me up, then turning to put me further down the hallway. I'm confused by this as I stare up at him, but before I can even ask why he did that he explains. "I don't know how far the glass goes down the hall and your bare feet are out, so I figured I would help you get down the hallway before you get hurt."

I smile and nod in understanding but I kinda wish he would have just kept his hold on me. I think he figures this out as he reaches for my hand and taking it into his before leading me to my kitchen. He pulls out the seat at the bar for me to sit, but taking me by the hips to pick me up and nicely place me on the seat.

I smirk at him as he matches my smirk then winking. My face blushes without any control in the matter. I look away as he chuckles again looking through my cabinets until he finds the pan that he wants, taking the food out of the microwave and placing it on the pan.

"You don't have any allergies or anything you don't like do you?" He asks me as I shake my head. This causes him to nod as he states. "I figured you were fine with the food you bought, but had to make sure. I would hate for anything else to happen to you."

I stare over at him as he glances back at me. I can hear the sizzling of the stakes on the frying pan as I notice him chopping up some potatoes and frying those up as well but with seasoning on both. This creates an aroma in this house that smells so good that my mouth is watering. The garlic added to one or both is what's really making me hungry. I can't wait to try this.

"Sorry I'm not the best at cooking but I hope you like it." He says back to me as I can't help but smile at that. "It smells amazing and the fact that you went out of your way for me makes this all so much better. I can gaurentee that I'm going to love this." I state enthusiastically making him smile even bigger as he keeps staring back at me while he continues to stir and flip the food in front of him. I can't wait to try this.