Hitting Rock Bottom

Chapter 5 The Bar

Yvette's POV

I drive to the only place that I want to be at the moment and that's the bar. I don't need any lectures.. believe me I know that I shouldn't be drinking right now.. but I need a drink now more than ever.. maybe I need other things.. drugs.. anything to help out my overwhelmed mind.

I have been down that drug induced road a time or two, during my group home days and being on the streets by myself for years, before I met Ledge. He didn't like those types of things and told me I wasn't allowed to do those things anymore if I wanted to be with him.. So I obliged with his wishes, dropping it all.. But now with being barren, newly single and unemployed, maybe it's time to go back to that dark place to bring out the little bit of light in me, if there is any left.

This day has taken so much happiness away from me that I no longer feel complete.. I do feel just as I look at the moment, like a shell of a person. I want to feel something besides pain so this place is the only location I can think of that might do that for me.. where else?

I pull up to the same place I have been too a lot lately, with things being harder for me personally. I wander in with my head hung low not wanting to make any eye contact with anyone around as I take my usual seat at the bar railing, off to the side and next ti the wall so I'm practically by myself.

"Yvette.. lovely to see you again.. and so soon.. did you miss me that much?" The male bartender, Scott asks as I chuckle and glance over at him in amusement as I reply. "We could say that Scott."

"Your usual?" He asks as I chuckle softer to myself, just feeling special and pathetic at the same time because he knows me well enough from me coming in here so much lately, like a sad lonely woman.. and somehow our relationship with being worker and patron has evolved to the point that I now have a 'usual' drink he gets me.

I reluctantly nod as I quietly say. "Thanks." He nods and turns around grabbing the shaker to throw the liquor and mixers in one after the other. After adding in the ice, I observe his muscles flex and unflex as he shakes the drink to the desired chill before pouring it into the dedicated glass. I won't lie, watching him make these drinks is enticing to say the least. I never appriciated them as much as I do now as a newly single woman.

He turns around to slide the glass my way, as I willingly accept it and pulling it closer. But before I can even take a drink he tosses me over a straw to help with just that. "Thank you Scott." I say to him as I open my mouth to ask for something more, but stop myself before I can even start.

"Did you need anything else Yvette?" He nicely asks me as I glance up at him nervous to say, but I still decide to respond, just under my breath. "Do you maybe have anything else to ease pain that's not alcohol? If you get what I'm asking." I ask him almost nonchalantly but still glancing from him to the drink then back to him.. Almost regretting saying this but I can't take it back now.

"There is a guy here that might have something to help you out.. I'll go see if he is still around." He explains as I send him a small smile then watching him walk away. In this type of place I bet he has tons of people who carry anything and everything.. I have tried almost all drugs in the book so none of these are new to me so anything he can find might help.. weed, ecstacy, coke, pills.. anything.. I just need to numb my senses.

"How can a woman as gorgeous as you, have that bad of a day that you would turn to drugs.. You don't want to start that for yourself... and besides life can't be that bad doll." I hear from besides me as I look over to the side, a couple stools down the bar from me. I need to see what face would match that lulling voice.

He is handsome in every sense of the word. Tall, fit build, with broad shoulders that holds up this face that seems to me, must've been structured from the gods because of the precise beauty of his chiseled jaw and glistening hazel orbs. His too-handsome-to-be-real face, is framed by beautiful long curly dark brown hair. He really looks as if someone plucked him right out of a movie playing as a god. Late 20's I would imagine to be his age, by his stunning features, but I can't let his beauty distract me.. I'm not here for that.. I'm trying to forget everything at the moment.

"Sometimes people need to try something different to make their lives better, even if it's just for the night.. So tell me.. How many times has that same compliment, that I'm sure you give every woman, worked as a conversation starter for you?" I snap a little playfully but making sure he knows I'm not in the mood for conversation even with a gorgeous man.

"There are other ways to make your night better and different, just saying.. Now.. why would you think that I would be saying that to all the women? Do I look like some sort of womanizer?" He asks me as I scoff and state. "You can't be surprised by this.. Men don't ever compliment just because they want to make the woman feel good.. There's always something tied to it that they want.. I don't know you though, so who am I to say what you are.. But I would imagine a man who looks like you, easily gets what he wants when he addresses it with compliments."

"Well I don't know what men you're talking to, but I can tell you they're the wrong ones if that's what you think. You can't tell me your husband treats you like that." he states pointing down at my ring on my finger. I get startled by the word 'husband' used. This causes me to silently panic hating that I'm still wearing the ring.. I never even thought to take it off, but here I am wearing it and it's being noticed. I quickly slip it off and push it into my pocket looking suspicious I would assume. I just shake my head not wanting ro talk about thay sensitive subject at all let alone qirh a complete stranger.

"I'm sorry if I have offended or bothered you by saying that.. I was just trying to start conversation.. that's all. It just looked like you could use someone to talk to." He says sweetly as I scoff again hating this pity for me. "And YOU think that because I obviously need someone to talk to and lean on, that since I apparently don't have anyone to do that with.. That I would come to this hole in the wall bar and have a drink while trying to get drugs because I never do that, to help ease my pain.. and then randomly choose this gorgeous man at the bar to relieve my stresses by talking about this to someone.. since I have no one?" I spat this out at him as if he is far from the real answer, while hating how right it is.

"Well.... yes.. Everyone needs someone to talk to.. especially on their harder days.. drugs and alcohol won't do that for you.. I can tell you that from my own experiences." He says softly as I glance over at him and swallowing the lump in my throat. I nod at him and open my mouth to respond but before anything can come out, a sketchy, pale skinned, meth-head looking man comes over to me and interrupting. "I heard you're looking for something good to pass the time sweetheart."

I can't help but look over at the handsome man as if I need his approval when I internally get mad at myself for that. I'm not here for him or what he wants.. I'm here for one reason only and that's to numb all my pain. I turn to the drug dealer and nodding at him silently as he gestures with his head for me to follow him.

He walks towards the back door heading out to the alley as I put down a 20$ bill right next to my drink. I quickly grip it into my hand, throwing my head back and chugging my entire drink. Once the ice hits my lips from no more liquid being in the chilled glass, I then slam it onto the bartop as if I'm proving someone wrong.. I stand up groaning out lowly under my breath feeling the pain that's bringing me back to reality.

I reach out and set my hand on the nice man's shoulder before saying softly to him. "You're right about me.. but there are other things that can help me numb the pain of my shitty life and that doesn't involve me talking about it.. but I hope you have a good night." So I slowly turn and follow the same path the sketchy man went.

I shove the door open, as I take a look around but it's dark out here and my eyes haven't fully adjusted yet. I don't see the man so I slowly walk down the couple of stairs so I don't hurt myself worse. When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I continue to look around, but still not seeing him, which is making me feel weary and regretting coming our here.

"So what you looking for?" I hear from right behind me, startling me as I gasp and flip around without hesitation, seeing the same sickly looking man from inside. "I.. don't know.. I just wanted to see if you had something.. weed.. pills.. something." I state to him feeling even more nervous about this sketchy situation.

"I have whatever you want.. pills.. if that's what you want then here's pills.. just 50$.. unless you don't have the money." He states stepping closer to me as I scoff at his statement. "Do I look like someone who can't pay?" I spat feeling offended by his implications when he doesn't know a thing about me.

"I'm just saying if tou don't have the money, then there are other types of payment." He vaguely explains licking his lips as he looks me up and down. I cringe then feeling my eyebrows furrow at that disgusting thought. "No I have the money and I won't have s*x with you to get these." I state to him in a tone of disgust that makes him irritated. "You know I was asking to be nice, but there are other ways of getting what I want.. without asking." He implies to his intentions of possibly raping me, as I shove the money at his chest and grabbing the bottle of pills. But he won't let them go and I don't have the strength to pull it away.

He smirks at me as he steps closer but I use my extended hand to try to keep distance between us but that only slightly works because he has a hold on my arm now. "You have your money just leave me alone." I demand of him but he laughs at this then explains. "Well that's a nice gift from you, but that's not what I wanted in payment."

I scoff trying to pull my arm away. "Never going to happen." I snap at him as I feel his grip tighten on my arm. "Let me go." I demand as he just moves closer to me not listening. When he smiles the little bit of teeth he does have glistens under the street light making me cringe at that sight. He leans in getting closer as if he wants to kiss me. But I continue to try to push on his chest as I turn my face away, squeezing my eyes shut. Just wishing I woukdnt have come out here. I feel his body press against mine as his raggedy breathing is heard in my ear.

I can feel his breath on my neck as I let out a whimper of pain and defeat as I feel a stray tear dripping down my cheek. Until I feel the weight of his body leaving mine, followed by grunts and loud thumps. I open my eyes and look to see that the man from the bar railing, has somehow come outside and knocked the meth head out, without me even knowing he was here. I notice him now as he hovers over him on the ground making sure he is out.

"Let's go." He demands of me as I quickly grab the pills and my money from the knocked out man.. Then quickly do as I'm told, following him out of this dark alleyway.