Hitting Rock Bottom

Chapter 19 Asking Too Many Questions

Yvette's POV

I find myself staring intently over at him just wanting to get to know him as much as he knows me. "So.. enough with my pathetic life.. Please tell me something about you, to take this pressure off of me, Mr.Motivational speaker.. how do you like your job? how long have you been doing this.. whatever it is you do." I state playfully to him as I notice how squeamish he gets at that questioning about his job.

"Well um.. I just want to say one last thing and then we can move on.. I just need to say that it doesn't matter what has happened in the past, you can make sure to remember it fondly because you're a better person now for what happened then.. But, you can't spend every moment you have dwelling on the decisions already made. You have to make some new ones of your own, to change things for yourself they way YOU want them to be changed.. But NOT changing it for what everyone else wants for you.. Oh and if it means anything.. just know that I'm here now, to help anyways I can.. Well, only if you want me to be.. and my job is not important.. I do a little bit of everything for this guy who I thought was a nice guy and just needed extra help." He sweetly says this to me making me nod with happiness knowing I don't have to be alone and that he wants to be there for me.. That makes my heart so happy, even with his weird explaination about his job.

"Well, I really hope you mean that because I would really love for one of the changes made to my life, to be spending time wirh you.. You seem to be the only thing in this dark world that actually feels.. right." I say softly causing him to smile as he retorts. "I will be here as much as you will allow it."

I giggle at that, loving that idea.. I can't believe I had the guts to say something to him.. but, maybe that should be the new me, the one that opens her heart to new situations and people because it could really be something amazing if I let it.

"I think you should give yourself more credit as well, I bet your job us very important.. I remember you said that your boss calls on you all the time to help him out.. So it can't be all that bad.. at least he appriciates you for what you can bring to the table." I state sweetly to him trying to help him get confidence like he has done me.

"But I don't like my boss very much anymore.. I do a lot for him so I thought he would be understanding about this next.. assignment.. but he is making me do stuff that I don't want to do.. honestly." He says to me and this sounds like he is being honest about his work problems.

"Ok then why don't you tell him you don't want to do what he asks?" I ask plainly state as if it should be obvious. He shakes his head. "He didn't care that I didn't want to do it.. he made it so I couldn't turn it down.. he made me an offer I wouldn't ever want to refuse." he vaguely explains as I tilt my head looking over at him. "Did he threaten you?" I ask him blatantly as he gets nervous with his eyes now wide but he shakes his head at me.

"No he didn't threaten me.. but don't worry about that it doesn't matter becauae I'm just going to quit that job to get a regular job. I need some type of normalcy in my life again anyways." He states as I reluctantly nod at him.. not fully believing him but who am I to judge. "Ok well that sounds good too. So we can start some new jobs together.. at least I won't be the only one.. But.. On the brighter side of things, this dinner is fantastic by the way.. thank you so much for going completely out of your way for me.. It means more to me than you'll ever know." I state to him in the sweetest tone, just trying to make him feel better while changing the subject from the obviously tender one, to a more joyous one.

"That's no problem.. but you don't have to lie my cooking is mediocre at best." He states in a joking tone that I have to shake my head at. "Well I like it and I never had anyone cook for me to make me feel better.. Not even going out of their way for me, so I won't complain one bit at this incredibly sweet gesture." I respond honestly making him smile. "Well I like the idea of me giving you some firsts.. I would be inclined to keep this going.. but only if you allowed me to." He suspiciously plans.

"Alright I'm hooked.. what's your idea for more firsts?" I inquire from him, causing the nervousness to hit him again before he answers. "Well I would love to have you over for dinner like my sister had invited earlier."

The smile that emerges onto my lips is something that couldn't be slapped away. "You would still want to bring me with you.. even knowing what kind of issues I have?" I ask him in more of shock then disbelief. He nods his head at me pretty quickly while saying with it. "I would love for you to meet my mother, I bet she would adore you.. But I don't care what issues you think you have because I can already tell it's just you beating yourself up.. but I'll get it through your head one of these days that your better than you give yourself credit for.. mark my words."

I nod at him before replying. "I think that sounds like the distraction that I need but that still doesn't give me a first.. I have met Ledge's family at a dinner before." He smiles, leaning over close to me as he asks. "Yes, but.. have.. you.. ever.." His words fall off not finishing and leaving me hanging on his last word before he finally adds. "Had dinner with a fine group of young gentleman named SirFloof and PawsomePaul?" I'm baffled by this question because I don't understand what those are. "Who are they?" I ask as he laughs and explains, "The two cats that followed me home.. they always eat with us and are part of my family as well. They sit at the table and everything." I giggle at that answer as I nod in understanding now.

"Oh I would love to meet them! I always wanted a cat.. dog.. something. I love animals but Ledge hates them." I exclaim as he nods to reply. "They help relieve stress for sure.. there is something so calming about petting it's soft fur that just takes away the stresses with each pet." That's sweet and now I can't wait to meet them.

"So did you actually mean it when you said you're not leaving tonight?" I nervously ask as he nods. "I can stay on the couch, there's no pressure I just don't want you to be alone.. just in case.. you know."

"Just in case.. I try to kill myself again?" I clarify as he nods but not saying anything else out loud. "Is that why you're being so nice and staying over, because you think I'm a ticking time bomb that's going to explode if you don't lay me down nicely. If you don't really want to be here that's fine, you don't have to.. I'll be fine." I imply as he shakes his head, reaching out to put his hand on my thigh, rubbing over the top of it.

"No don't think like that. I don't think you're on the edge at this moment, I just don't want to take the chance.. plus I love your company.. You're the first person in a very long time that I don't mind having personal time with.. and I know it doesn't sound like much, but that's saying something." He spats dumbfoundedly, causing me to laugh then choke on his food for a second, making me cough as he jumps up to help me.

He pulls me out of the chair and into his body, but I quickly swallow and clear my throat to stop him before he hurts my already tender body. "No, no, no Mal.. I'm fine I swear." I say touching his arms gently that are wrapped around me.

He lets out a deep breath, then squeezing his arms tightly around my torso, feeling as if he is hugging me from behind. I feel his breath feathering off of my neck and ear, until his deep voice graces my ear. "You have given me too many heart attacks tonight.. can you please give me a break." He kisses the side of my head on the temple, causing me to practically melt into his broad frame.

I feel bad at the honesty in his comment because I'm sure it's been so much for him. I do happen to notice his arms haven't left from around my body. So I quickly turn around in his hold, putting my hands to his chest. "I'm sorry for doing that to you.. I'm sure you have seen so many horrific things at my doing." I say softly to him as he stares deep into my eyes thinking about my words before he responds. "It was scary just just thinking I wouldn't ever have a chance to get to know you. I didn't want to lose this.. you know.. before it even started."

"What.. do you want this.. to be?" I nervously ask him with my heart now beating out of my chest. He clears his throat again. "I know you were just literally for divorced and probably not looking for anything, especially anything serious.. but I'm open to anything as long as it involves me getting to know you."

"Ok we will see what happens with getting to know each other better and go from there.. but as for me being recently divorced.. I'm being honest when I say that I haven't had a male companion in years.. since before the cancer and he hasn't touched me since.. I have been fighting to keep the relationship alive and obviously it wasn't ever going to happen.. So I haven't felt like I have been in a relationship for years, if it wasn't for the ring that's on my finger to show me that I was in one.. I never even saw Ledge because he worked so much.. or that's what he said.. But technically I DID just get divorced.. but I emotionally feel like I have been single for years.. And I'm also open to almost anything as long as none of this is an act to get me into bed and thats it." I accuse him as he instantly shakes his head.

"I'm not trying to get anything out of you.. I just like you.. and thought this could turn into something memorable if given the chance.. and if some of those memorable moments end up involving something that might happen in bed, I can tell you with all certainty that I wouldn't mind one bit." I bust up laughing at his comment before lightly slapping his chest and humorously replying. "I'm sure you wouldn't mind.. ok I want to see what this could be and hopefully it's as memorable as you state.. and if it's any consolation, you have already given me something to remember.. mostly of your kindness. which means more to me than you know."

"Thanks Yvette, that means a lot to me to hear that." I play wirh his shirt between my fingertips before saying. "Yve.. you can just call me Yve." He nods at that while pushing my hair behind my ear. "Anything you want Yve."

I can't help but smirk up at him before taking his hand into mine to lead him back to the table to finish our dinner he spent time making.

After cleaning our plates, metaphorically speaking.. I decide it's time to clean them in reality.. I know the polite unspoken rules, whoever cooks doesn't have to clean.. I learned that very early on in the group homes from the parents who would make dinner, but make the kids clean everything after. But being practically alone for years, I have had to do it all.. so it's nice to get cooked for, for once. So it's the least I can do, is clean it up.

Malachi is finishing right at the same time as I am. So I take his plate from him, along with mine as I start cleaning them in the sink. I hear him moving around the kitchen and before I even know what's happening, I feel his hand pushing away the hair covering my neck as his lips press to my exposed skin. This sends chills down my spine in straight contact as he whispers. "You didn't have to clean that for me." I smirk to myself as I say back just as softly. "You didn't have to help me or cook for me.. and yet, here we are." He chuckles at that comment quickly replying. "Touche` Beautiful." I smile at that reply as he kisses my cheek now making my smile just a noticeable as the blush now on my face.

I don't feel him right behind me anymore but I quickly figure out why, because the vacuum blares on as I turn to see he is finishing cleaning uo the glass.. I totally forgot about that. What a great guy.

We finish cleaning, before sitting on the couch, talking the night away.. Which seems to be all we do together surprisingly enough. I haven't talked this much in so long that my throat is starting to hurt.. But nothing can stop the seemingly endless conversations with him.. Well except for exhaustion. At some point the exhaustion consumed me and I fell asleep on the couch with a man that's doesn't feel like a stranger anymore.. and that thought alone is amazing to me. Things are changing for me and hopefully it's for the best.