Fighting Faith

4

Killian’s POV

I had to run out of the car on our way back home due to the nausea. Again.

I threw up like there was no tomorrow next to the road. Everyone else had already left home but I had to stay behind just making sure that the little wolf obeyed me.

She was nowhere to be found, not in the city and not around her house and that just made me feel helpless instead of happy.

Never in my 102 years old have I experienced something like this. Was finding your mate something so magical that affected your whole being?

Ever since I let her go, something felt oddly wrong. I felt, for the first time of my existence, broken, like if I could actually sense anything else than my emotions.

“Alpha?” Leo called me worriedly.

He knew what was happening to me yet we promised to act like she never existed, we needed to pretend she died so she could live.

I growled at him, feeling like my wolf wanted to take control of me. He just wanted to be free and run, find its other half. I think that would help with this sorrow.

“What if we stop and eat something by the road? You don’t look too good” was his recommendation.

I don’t think anything could pass through my system even if I wanted it to.

Breathing itself caused me nausea.

I think I was losing control and nothing could stop my wolf from breaking free.

Leo pushed me out of the road knowing someone could watch me shift, our existence needs to be kept hidden from the human world, but I felt like I couldn’t hold myself up again.

“Probably running will help a bit” Leo sighed at my sight.

I was helpless, I didn’t have a way to fix myself. Maybe if I followed her I could make amends.

I needed her even if she was imprisoned, but I need her with me right now. I can’t continue like this. It will be a matter of time before they all know their Alpha is becoming weak.

Probably bedding with someone else will ease the pain. My wolf felt broken because his mate was known, but we had to be far away now.

I ran, I ran back to where we had to make her run.

I should’ve killed her. Maybe I wouldn’t be feeling like this and I could take another mate. That’s what my father did after my mom died; he chose another mate, a chosen mate.

He never talked about these feelings, he was not open to any of us. Losing my mother so young didn’t help me learn much about feelings, it was like I was just a killing machine to get to what I wanted.

Power.

Having a mate and everyone knowing of her existence would just make her one weak link and I couldn’t have that. Nobody must know of her, no one should know I found her, no one should know she’s still alive.

Her scent was dying down on me, the rain is to blame. It was pouring so much the night she left that I can’t catch even a little bit of her now. There was blood around the area but it was not hers, it was the old woman’s blood splattered around.

I lost all track of her scent but I still know what it feels like, it tasted like an open field of roses and vanilla. When I was a kid, vanilla was my favorite flavor of all, probably that’s why she smells so much like the things I like the most.

I ran towards her old house. It was now empty.

I shifted back, it would be the weirdest if someone saw a huge wolf in this part of town.

I should probably have killed the guy who tried to rape her. I felt our connection ever since our eyes crossed, but she was still human, so she shouldn’t have felt it.

I went to where her smell was the strongest, it was her room. It was stuffed with the smell of vanilla. I should stay here and never look back, but I still have a pack to run. I need to go back even when this place was the only one where I could feel the pieces joining together.

I looked at the only picture in her room, it was a picture of her with the old woman riding a bike. She had such a human childhood, does she know what she means to me? She wouldn’t have left if she knew about mates and bonds. Why was this woman keeping all of the secrets from her? She should have trained, she should have learned about her nature while she was growing up.

This way she would have known.

Being apart will break us both in the long run, but she was just a kid. I couldn’t have taken her with me either way, she would have been killed if anyone found out about her roots. Just knowing her name would be dangerous. Will she even try to come to this house?

I laid on her bed and fell asleep instantly. Probably her comforting smell is what I needed the most.

When I woke up, it was due to a strong pain in one of my sides. I stood up from the bed ready to fight anyone but there was no one there. What was this intense pain I was feeling? Was it my mate?

Was I bound to feel everything she was feeling?

That would be a good punishment.

I switched and ran back to where my beta was. It was night time by now but he was still loyally waiting for me next to the car along with the driver, probably they already ate something.

I saw him smiling when I was back next to him. He could probably smell the girl’s scent on me. I was lying on her bed for the goddess’ sake, of course I will smell like her.

He had a cloak in his hands which he put over me so I could switch back to my human form. I was exhausted at this point.

“I hope the run helped” he whispered with a smile.

I hate that my beta is also my best friend. He knows everything about me.

“It did” I answered, walking back to the car.

‘Purchase her house, I want to keep her stuff intact’ I mind linked my beta and he just nodded to acknowledge my order.

I fell asleep again on the way back to the manor and to the pack. There was a celebration coming now that all “Channing” were “dead”.

There was no one who could claim the reign over Westmanland, only if the girl listened to me which I hope she did. Faith, everyone knew her name. It was a common name among humans, but in the world of werewolves, names were chosen for a reason.

Faith was supposed to bring power to her family and their pack before we attacked.

When I was named Killian by my father, he wanted me to be his warrior, to kill everything that was in between my power and my reign.

And that’s what I’ve been doing for such a long time, I knew no other way.