If Only (BxB)

Cheater

Everything felt like it was on fire. My chest hurt, it felt hard to breathe and I was gasping for air yet the two figures infront of me continued clinging to each other, completely oblivious of my presence. 

The pain of a mate cheating on you is beyond unbearable and is always felt by the cheater’s partner hoping to invoke feelings of regret, but my mate seemed to be an exception as he thrived in my suffering.

“Alpha stop, Luna is watching us”. The woman in Gayle’s arm spoke coquettishly, yet contrary to her words, kept rubbing her boobs on Gayle’s chest as she gazed at me provokingly.

Gayle’s eyebrows scrunched up in contempt as he nonchalantly remarked, “Never call him Luna infront of me again, He’s nothing but an insignificant person. Focus on me right now.”

Without even caring about all the pain he was inflicting upon me, Gayle impatiently dragged the woman upstairs and soon breathless moans could be heard. I had never detested my sharpened hearing as much as I did right now. The pain was making me dizzy and the people upstairs had no plans on stopping. I dragged my body towards the sofa to catch my breath.

This isn’t the first time Gayle cheated on me. It was four months ago when I discovered the horrible truth.

*****

4 months ago

Everyday at noon, I prepare lunch for my mate and today day was no different. I set out with my homemade lunchbox to the company’s headquarters.

However, every time I went there, I encountered unkind gazes. The employees are a mix of humans and werewolves. The werewolves who were under direct command of the Alpha were called Warriors, they belonged solely to the Alpha.

For the human employees, it was no secret that their Vice President disliked gays, to them I was just a gold digger wooing their rich Boss.

To the werewolves I was their Alpha’s unwanted mate, even if someone humiliated me to their heart’s content the others would say nothing since they only obeyed Gayle, it was unlikely that Luna Mia or Alpha Zac would know about it either.

I always keep my head down and silently walk towards Gayle’s office on the topmost floor of the building, while I was making my way there, I bumped into Gayle’s Warrior Beta, Kayden.

He is a boorish twenty three year old man with a foul mouth. Upon discovering it was me who he stumbled across, his face twisted in displeasure.

“Well well look who’s here, the gay who wants to get f****d by our Boss, what did ya add in there?" Kayden inquired while he gestured towards the lunchbox in my hand, "Aphrodisiacs?”

Kayden was one of the many people I desperately wished to avoid running into. He didn’t care about the time or place when he wished to insult me. Ever since Ashlyn defeated him in a duel, he is hell bent on taking his anger out on me, probably because I am an easier target.

I try to make my presence as small as possible when I suddenly hear snickers behind me. Some of the employees gathered around us and looked at me with pity in their eyes but majority of them stood there as if watching a good show.

“Lemme tell you a secret Omega”, Kayden spoke as he came closer to my ear “All of these lunchboxes, go straight into trash, do ya get it? Alpha Gayle wouldn’t even let dogs eat this type of shit.”

He throws them away? No, Kayden must be lying to me, he just wants to see me unhappy. But if it's Gayle... then maybe... Controlling my emotions I run away from the jeering crowd of people.

“Dang Kayden you left the poor boy in tears”

“That guy just won’t take no for an answer”

“Honestly these type of people are only after money. There’s this guy I know…”

As I ignore the onslaught of comments behind me I hide in a secluded corner next to the women’s washroom, it was a convenient place to calm my panicking nerves by counting up to hundred.

This is why I hate crowds, my fingers tighten around the lunchbox as sweat slid down my back.

“Do you think Laura succeed this time round?”

“I bet she did! It’s already been two hours since she went to Vice Pres Gayle’s office, must be nice getting a taste of the future President”

I freeze as I hear the voices approaching the washroom. The scent of human females reach my nose, they came closer, completely oblivious to my presence, my werewolf hearing allowed me to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Damn that lucky b***h, I’ve been trying for ages since I found out Mr. Gayle is open to being f**k buddies, wonder when I’ll get picked”

"Well he did say he's single, so maybe you still stand a chance" 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, it’s true that Gayle said he wasn’t gay but I didn’t know anything about him cheating on me. Could mates even cheat on each other to begin with? It’s unheard of.

I ran to Gayle’s office, my heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode in my chest. I really wished what I heard was only a rumor. Just when I was about to open the door, I felt someone grab me.

It was Gayle’s Warrior Gamma Neo. He seemed nervous as he prevented me from going in. “Um, Luna Irving I don’t think it’s the best time to go in right now.”

“Why” I question despite already having a hunch.

“Uh he’s busy and no one’s allowed to enter plus I… wanted to have some ice cream with you so- hey wait!” I rushed in despite Neo’s warnings.

What greeted me were the surprised faces of Gayle and a female werewolf, probably Laura, sitting on his lap. Their face just inches away from each other like they were kissing.

Suddenly I felt a tremendous amount of pain in my chest, like someone grabbed my heart and stabbed it. For a moment, I didn't even realize what was going on, I had heard something like that from Ash, about the pain a werewolf suffered upon witnessing their mate's adultery. But I only dismissed it as a legend since I never saw anyone going through it, It's laughable how that's exactly what I am experiencing right now.

Neo entered the room looking all flustered and trying to support me as I clutched my chest in pain. “Luna Irving are you alright? What’s wrong ? Please get a hold of yourself” I ignored Neo’s rambling and glared at Gayle with an expression full of hostility and heartache.

“How could you? What the hell do you think you’re doing infront of me? Have you no shame?!” I yelled as I felt something break inside of me. The pain and anger rushed to my head and clouded my judgement.

“You will not use that tone on me Omega! You have no right to interfere in my business!” Gayle roared angrily.

“I do have the right Gayle! Whether you like it or not I am your mate”

I was willing to give him my everything, but for him to go this far, I couldn’t accept it. “If you’re so hell bent on being straight" I heard myself saying "then why don’t you just reject me!” And get this over with…

Slap.

I felt my right cheek stinging as Gayle slapped me in the face. With a hand on my cheek I stare at him in astonishment.

“First of all, I always liked women, it’s because of you that I’m being called a f*****g faggot! It’s out of pity that I’m not rejecting you yet, instead of being grateful you keep forgetting your f*****g place Omega.”

“Pity?” I almost laughed out loud, “What a joke. You clearly told me you need me to become the next Alpha-”

Another slap resounded on my left cheek. My knees buckled under the force and I fell on the floor. The lunchbox slipped out of my hand and its contents spilled on the ground, I spent hours preparing these dishes, yet they were destroyed in seconds… just like me.

“Let me warn you filthy Omega” Gayle said as his blue eyes inched closer, “I don’t need a mate like you. I’ll f**k whichever woman I want since that’s how it was supposed to be whether you LIKE it or not. If you ever feel like you’re not loved or appreciated enough, you can go ahead and talk to the people who threw you at me.”

With those harsh words said, Gayle proceeded to have s*x with the woman right on the office desk as both me and Neo watched dumbfounded.

Neo, petrified by all the events that unfolded infront of his eyes came to his senses only when I started gasping for breath again. The pain felt even more intolerable now.

“Luna…” Neo helped me up and pulled me away from the wretched scene of debauchery.

“Neo, tell me…” I spoke with difficulty, “What happens to the lunchboxes I made”

Neo fidgeted uncomfortably under my probing gaze for a long time until he finally gave in.

“The trash can behind the office…” Neo mumbled in an almost inaudible voice.

But I got the answer I needed. I stumble back to my house, almost soulless. My eyes were already devoid of tears .

I knew from the start that Gayle had Homophobic tendencies, I tired my best to perceive how he felt as a straight man and accommodate to his every need, but I still fail to understand, why I am being hated, just because I'm gay? He doesn’t even treat me as a human let alone a mate.

Mates are hard to find in the first place. There are several werewolves who never had a chance to meet their mates for the rest of their lives, those who have their mates in the same pack are considered lucky.

Yet Gayle… I still remember the way his handsome face which I adored, looked at me without a sliver of affection, rather his eyes burned with disgust.

I had no one to confide in, I couldn’t tell Ashlyn nor did I have any friends I could seek advice from. Standing up to Gayle already took all the courage I had accumulated in a lifetime, now that it was used up, all I felt was fear and hopelessness, what am I going to do from now on...

******

True, to his words, Gayle started bringing several female werewolves to our house whenever he felt like it. Knowing full well I could hear everything that was happening behind those closed doors.

It’s already been four months since that day. Today is the first time in three years that Gayle came home on my birthday, yet ironically it was to celebrate with his girlfriend. My mate chose to give me the most unique gift of all.

As the two people in the opposite room kept gyrating like no tomorrow, I lulled myself to sleep, hoping to douse the pain with exhaustion.

I wonder how long I’ll keep deluding myself into believing that there will be a day, when my mate will come to love me…