If Only (BxB)

Four years later [II]

With trembling hands, I answer the phone.

“Hey Irvy! Happy Birthday!”

Ashlyn’s cheerful voice sounded through the phone, a stark contrast to my gloomy mood. I adjust my voice to make it sound as normal as possible.

“Hey Ash”

“Sooooo how did it go? Your first birthday with your mate? I’m dying of curiosity.”

I smile wryly at her words, she probably didn’t call me yesterday for the fear of disturbing us. “It went g-great… Gayle took me out on a d-date to the movies…and then we went for dinner...”

I spilled whatever little knowledge I had about dating, desperately hoping Ashlyn would believe it.

“Wow, sounds like you had fun, I knew you would be busy yesterday so I decided to…”

I barely heard what Ashlyn was talking about. My vision blurred and I realized I was crying again. This is the first time I lied to Ashlyn, we shared everything with each other but I knew this was not something I could tell Ashlyn. Realizing I couldn’t continue pretending any longer I abruptly make an excuse and hang up on Ashlyn.

My body felt cold and I shivered a few times, I probably looked horrible. Shifting back into my wolf I head back home.

Gayle went out last night, so it was no surprise that we ran into each other at the front door. He didn’t even flinch when he saw my messed up appearance, nor did he ask where I was coming back from, he merrily made his way into the house.

He took a look at the table I set up last night. The food had long gone cold and my birthday cake was left untouched. With a voice laced in annoyance he declared, “Clean up this mess”.

…What did I expect? That he would ask if I had eaten yet? That he would apologize for the words he uttered last night?  That he would say it was all a prank and wish me Happy Birthday?

With such simple words, he easily dismissed my every effort.

*****

The oven issued a beep and pulled me back from my thoughts. I take out the Red Velvet cake and wait for it to cool before decorating it.

While I was busy with the cake, Gayle’s Warrior Gamma Neo mindlinked me. “Luna Irving, Alpha asked me to tell you that he can’t make it home tonight, he’s out on patrol again and umm… he also asked me to wish you Happy Birthday” he finished off awkwardly.

Knowing Gayle, I bet he doesn’t even remember it’s my birthday let alone bother telling me he won’t come back tonight. It’s probably just Neo trying to comfort me, he’s such a nice kid. Being sixteen, Neo is the youngest warrior Gamma in the pack.

Thanks Neo, it means a lot.” I smile slightly at his cute efforts.

“Uh no no, you’re thank you, I mean you’re welcome!”

I could basically feel his blush radiating through the mindlink, ever since we met he has always been very clumsy and shy around me, I wonder why?

With my head in the clouds I jumped when I heard a very kind voice from behind me “Luna your culinary skills get better everyday, I’m sure Alpha Gayle will love the cake you made.”

It was Mrs. Dale a female omega in her late forties. She possessed a friendly demeanor and a very cheerful smile, staring at her hazel eyes I couldn't help but calm down.

We hired her two years ago, I wanted someone to accompany me in this dreary house, moreover this villa was too big to maintain on my own.

Hearing her words I put on a troubled smile “He wouldn’t be coming back today either Mrs. Dale, would you like to try the birthday treats I prepared?”

"Today's no good either huh..." I hear her murmur to herself. 

I turn my back towards her as I try my best to blink back the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. 

Mrs. Dale, probably sensing my turbulent emotions very tactfully stopped talking. I didn’t want to look at her right now because I was afraid I’d see pity in her eyes. Pity costs nothing and that’s exactly what it’s worth.

I finish the chores, and with heavy steps walk towards the woods behind the house. I shift into my wolf and sprint towards my secret spot, The peaceful meadow.

Changing back into my human form and putting on the clothes tied to my legs, I lean against a tree and let go of the tears I had been holding back.

Every year on my birthday, I come here to cry in secret. Today is no exception.

Over the years my loud shrill cries changed into quiet sobs and sniffles, for even I realized how useless my tears were. My heart was already exhausted from being trampled on so mercilessly every time.

Four years… For the last four years I endeavored to be loved by my mate, endured everything in silence and threw away my dignity, yet my mate didn’t even bat an eye, things are exactly the same as they were before.

I know that every relationship has its own trials but is overcoming them the duty of one person alone? Every time I see Alpha Zac and Luna Mia, I become overwrought with jealousy .Gayle is clearly their son, yet his devotion to me is laughable.

Oh moon goddess why do I feel like the unluckiest person alive? Is this my punishment for wanting something beyond my reach?

I lay there downheartedly thinking that if I died right now, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. My parents would be happy getting rid of me, Gayle would probably celebrate my death and the others wouldn’t care at all.

The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea until Ashlyn’s face came to my mind and I stopped in my tracks.

Ashlyn… would be sad I don’t want that.

Sighing to myself I get up from the ground. The sky was getting darker, The setting sun enveloped everything in a dazzling orange hue, I tilt my face upwards to feel the warm air.

A thought suddenly flashed across my mind, if my mate ever comes to love me then I’d like to have him mark me here.

Being as impossible as it sounds, I still choose to be foolish rather than hopeless.

As I reach home, I spot a silhouette near our villa from afar, it looked like a wolf.

Is that Gayle? A small hopeful voice questioned in my head. However as I got closer, I realized that the wolf’s fur was a dark brown color rather than Gayle’s dull gray.

The wolf rushed behind a tree to phase while I did the same, when the scent hit me I realized it was Ashlyn!

My blood ran cold as I remembered what I told her this morning. What if she realizes the truth? I could imagine Ashlyn going berserk if she ever finds out how Gayle treats me. I can’t let that happen!

Ashlyn pounced on me while I was still distracted, “Surprise!” she happily nuzzled against me, but witnessing my stiff reaction her lips pulled downwards, “Could you at least pretend to be delighted you heartless brat”

“I was just surprised silly, I'm very happy to see you Ash”. My heart warmed at Ashlyn’s sudden visit, she was two cities away yet she made time for me from her busy schedule.

“Hmph, I’ll forgive you just this once. By the way Irvy I thought you would be out on a date with Alpha Gayle. I was prepared to wait for you guys here.”

“T-that was the plan but um, some important s-stuff came up so he couldn’t make it.” 

Shoot I stuttered! Ashlyn will definitely get suspicious.

Just as I expected, Ashlyn frowned as I broke out in a cold sweat.

“Really? Then why are you stuttering? You don’t stutter unless you’re nervous or lying” she said with her arms folded over her chest. “Spill” she commanded in a threatening voice.

“Hehehe” I chuckled nervously “come on Ash we’re meeting after so long and the first thing you do is interrogate me? Honestly I’m a bit hurt” I say as I try to squeeze out some faux tears.

She immediately dropped the topic and started panicking, “Oh no Irving I didn’t mean to do that, please don't cry. Right! I brought a birthday present for you, look!”

She fumbled through her pockets and handed me a delicate looking box with ‘hurry up and praise me’ written all over her face.

I open the lid and inside lay two exquisitely designed platinum rings, they were so lustrous that they basically glowed in the box.

“Ash this is…”

“I heard it’s a thing among humans to exchange rings with your spouse, so I bought one for you and Alpha Gayle”  

“But this looks expensive I can’t possibly-”

“Oh shut it Irving, I haven’t been working my ass off for nothing, I’m richer than I look”

“Thanks Sis” I smile at her thoughtfulness. But it’s likely a waste since Gayle would never accept this.

“Aww don’t sweat it hon. Anyway I still gotta rush back to pack headquarters right now, I didn’t even report my arrival yet. So seeya tomorrow”

Despite my insistence , Ashlyn refused to rest at my house for a while and bid me goodbye with a hug. I almost cried as her warmth touched my heart, where would I be without her.

I walk back inside the house, my mood uplifted after meeting Ashlyn. I set the rings near the coffee table and start wondering how I’d persuade Gayle to wear them. I hadn’t even come up with anything yet when I smelled my mate’s scent.

He’s back? He usually avoids returning home on my birthday.

I suppress the excitement welling up inside me and walk towards the door. But the view infront of me doused my heart in cold water.

Standing in the foyer was Gayle, my mate passionately kissing a woman in his arms.

_______________________

Werewolf tidbits: -

The werewolf mindlink only works up to a certain distance, in case a pack member is almost two cities away, they cannot communicate with others via mindlink. In such a scenario, communicating through phones is the only option.