If Only (BxB)

Parents

Chills ran down my spine as I gazed unwaveringly at those familiar faces, my parents’ presence was nothing but bad news to me. Even after eight years, my mother’s cold green eyes evoked endless fear in me. I still couldn’t forget how she had tried to kill me in the past.

They seemed just as surprised after discovering it was me who opened the door. A trace of disgust flashed in their eyes before they quickly concealed it, without bothering to pay any attention to me, they casually walked into the house. I was still frozen stiff and contemplated whether I should close the door and go inside or not. After thinking for a while, I mindlink Ashlyn to return home as soon as possible.

My parents already settled themselves on the couch in the living room and I nervously sit a little further away from them. Peeking at them from a distance, I notice that my mother already had strands of grey in her long curly black hair, her face donned a few wrinkles while her Emerald green eyes were filled with annoyance. My father who sat next to her was as stoic as ever, with his blond hair and emotionless brown eyes, he looked no different from a statue.

Seeing how they were trying their best to ignore me, my eyes dimmed in sadness.

It wasn’t always like this, through the vague memories of my childhood I remember their happy faces as they embraced me, my mother even used to say - “Irving is a blessing from the goddess herself”. Even though my parents weren’t each other’s mates, our family of four was very blissful.

But everything changed in the blink of an eye after I turned four and my second gender was revealed, the change in their expressions, the pain of shattered expectations, the resentment on their faces, is all deeply imprinted on my mind. What hurt me more was how I went from a blessing to a burden in my mother’s eyes within a matter of seconds.

“I, Nicole Blue never gave birth to an Omega! I refuse to believe it!” she had yelled hysterically after hurling abuses at me.

Maybe I was a stain on my parents’ perfect Warrior Beta image or maybe my existence hurt my mother’s self-esteem, why else would she go as far as to hit me on a daily basis while my father just stood there indifferently. I was content in enduring whatever she did to me as long as we could go back to being a happy family.

However, when one day my mother pounced on me with the intention to kill, I just watched her expressionlessly. Even if she had succeeded in killing me that day, I would’ve barely resisted, because in that moment I already realized how useless my actions were, since we could never go back to how it used to be.

Sometimes I even wonder if my stubborn reluctance to let go of Gayle stems from my strong desire to have a happy family. Maybe it’s because I know he’s my only chance at having a family.

Withdrawing my gaze, I head towards the kitchen and start preparing dinner, neither Ashlyn nor Mrs. Dale was back yet. 

Just as I started setting the table, I hear a knock on the front door.

Awfully relieved I almost ran into the door, Ashlyn stepped inside sporting a frown on her face, “Irving why does it smell like our parents in her-”

The moment her gaze fell on our parents lounging in the living room, her face changed. She took a protective stance infront of me while looking at them with visible hostility in her eyes. So she didn’t know about them visiting either.

Our mother visibly dissatisfied voiced, “Is that how you’re supposed to treat your parents? You should know better now that you are a Warrior Beta”

Ignoring her words Ashlyn got straight to the point, “What're you here for?”. Hearing her words, mother’s face further darkened, “We don’t need a reason to visit our daughter’s house. Besides, you stopped replying to our texts so we’ll be staying here for a while”

Ashlyn and I were both shocked as her words fell, I hated the idea of being under the same roof as my parents and Ashlyn obviously felt the same, “Bullshit, this isn’t just my house alone it belongs to Irving as well. Don’t you think it’s basic human decency to ask for permission before staying at somebody’s house?”

“You’re not just somebody, I gave birth to you”, our mother conveniently chose to ignore me, “And watch your mouth Ashlyn, just because you’re a Warrior Beta now doesn’t mean you can act all high and mighty. Don’t forget you got that position because I stepped down”

Her words enraged me, with such a simple sentence she completely undermined all of Ashlyn’s efforts. 

Ashlyn’s current status in the pack was all through her own hard work and talent, just to support us who were abandoned by our parents, Ashlyn from a very young age fought tooth and nail to improve herself and be worthy of being called a Warrior, but now just because our mother was stripped of her position, she believes Ashlyn should be grateful for her charity? On what grounds?!

Overcome with an urge to deny my mother’s words I step forward but Ashlyn held me back, seeing this, a sneer formed on my mother’s face as she coldly remarked, “Looks like you got yourself an Omega servant Ashlyn, for what he's worth, it does suit him better to be in the kitchen anyway”.

“Knowing how to cook is a basic survival skill not a gender role, it’s nothing to be ashamed of” Ashlyn retorted, “Not to mention he’s worth a million times more than some people who left their kids to fend for themselves just cause they couldn’t handle getting fired”.

Our mother’s face turned ugly hearing Ashlyn’s ruthless taunts, but before she could utter a response Mrs. Dale walked in. 

Looks like I forgot to lock the door with all that was going on. Her cheerful voice resounded through the living room, completely out of place with the atmosphere, “Beta Ashlyn I got all the ingredients needed to make your favorite vegetable stir-fry, you can go wash up while I set the table”.

Thanks to Mrs. Dale’s timely intervention, the hostility in the air quickly dissipated. My parents abhorred the idea of arguing infront of outsiders as they immensely valued their reputation, raising her head high, our mother walked towards the dining table and sat down like she owned the place. Ashlyn was already beside herself with rage, taking deep breaths she guided me towards the chair and sat down next to me.

Throughout the meal, Ashlyn kept engaging in small conversations with me while blatantly ignoring our parents who obviously wanted to talk to her, I knew she was doing this to ease my anxiety and I loved her for it. 

The awkward meal ended within an hour and Ashlyn was all praises for Mrs. Dale and my cooking.

“Honestly Irvy I’m useless without you, I’ve been ordering takeout for ages, it’s so satisfying to finally have a homemade meal” Ashlyn piped in cheerfully while doing the dishes. 

No Ash, I’m the one useless without you. I silently think to myself as I recalled all the things she has done for me so far.

“If it weren’t for those selfish jerks upstairs, the meal would’ve been even more enjoyable. Hey Irving…..… are you really alright with them being here?”

Ashlyn noticing my stiff reaction, shot me a worried look.

“It’s okay Ash it’s not like we can change their mind. And their presence doesn’t really bother me” I state in a matter-of-fact tone because apart from the initial fear and sadness, all I felt right now was indifference, “Looks like they’re here for you though” I emphasized as I glanced at Ashlyn.

“Are you kidding me?! You think they’re here for me?” Ashlyn exclaimed in shock, “Oh please Irv, those selfish pricks only care for themselves, they probably felt lonely after spending all those years away and suddenly remembered they had kids. They were never there for us when we needed them, but demand us to accompany them whenever they want” Ashlyn sighed in annoyance, “Do they believe I never noticed their disappointment in me being a girl that they expect me to treat them right. Honestly Irv you don’t need to be so civilized with them, if anything goes wrong, I’ve always got your back” Ashlyn declared as she gripped my shoulder tightly.

I just rolled my eyes at her. It’s not that I’m feigning politeness, my feelings towards my parents right now are like those towards strangers. Anyway, it’s not like I could possibly mend my relationship with a mother that tried to kill me.

Misunderstanding my silence for sorrow, Ashlyn tried to comfort me, “Geez you came here to rest but ended up with depression. I know! It’s been so long since you were home how about we do something fun?”

I looked at Ashlyn with vigilance, her idea of fun and mine were worlds apart, if anything, I was dreading what she had to say next, and as expected her next words were, “Irving let’s go shopping tomorrow!”.