If Only (BxB)

Solitude

It’s been three days and my heat subsided hours ago, Gayle never returned home even once and the pain in my chest answered everything. Sometimes I really wonder if all those magical things Mia told me about mates were just plain lies, that maybe sometimes it was better living without one.

I stood up and decided to go out on a walk to distract myself. 

Almost immediately, I felt an increasing urge to run away and never come back. I don’t want Ash to get implicated because of me, but if I stay here any longer, I feel like I’ll go insane. For four years I degraded myself in every way possible and now I’m thoroughly exhausted.

After aimlessly wandering around the street for a while, I sat down on a nearby bench and closed my eyes. The breeze lightly caressed my face and I let nature calm me.

“Oh hey, we meet again” A deep voice spoke from beside me. Looking over I realized it belonged to the same guy I met at the café last time.

“Ah, you’re Spencer?”

“Yes! I’m glad you recognize me but... hey, are you ok? Looking at your ashen face, I’m assuming you already… broke up?” He carefully probed as his gray eyes bore into mine.

“No… I- we haven’t yet”

“Yet huh… wanna talk about it?”

“N-not really”

“Oh, that’s alright, just gimme a minute”

Spencer said as he stood up and jogged towards a vending machine on the other side of the road. He came back with a can of cold coffee in his hand and offered it to me.

“N-no, thank you I’m alright”

“Oh come on at least let me get you a drink, besides you like coffee don’t you? Saw you drinking it at the café “

He noticed? I sheepishly take the can and thank him.

“You know, sometimes it’s easier to confide in strangers rather than keeping things to yourself. My dog once destroyed someone’s flowerbed when I was 10 and I ran away panicking instead of staying to apologize. A nice stout guy found me hiding behind the bushes and asked why I was crying and I told him everything”

I raised an eyebrow upon hearing his narrative “Did it help?”

“Not really, turns out that guy was the flowerbed owner’s guard or something and we both got an earful that day”, Spencer deadpanned and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Pfft, how is that supposed to encourage me?”

“Yeah, maybe it won’t but at least you smiled. A few moments ago, you looked like someone died or something”

I stop short as he gently ruffled my hair and spoke “You’re a good-looking guy, smile more often and the world will be a better place”

“T-thanks Spencer… I-”

Before I could finish, someone yanked my hand forcefully and I stumbled forward.

“What. Are you doing here?” Gayle voiced through clenched teeth as he glared at me. My voice seemed to be stuck in my throat, I couldn’t utter a single word. Gayle shifted his gaze towards Spencer and looked like he wanted to rip off his throat.

“We’re going back!” Gayle declared as he began dragging me along roughly.

“Hey easy there it’s hurting him”

Spencer’s voice made Gayle stop in his tracks. He glanced at Spencer and in a split second, grabbed his collar threateningly, “I don’t need you to tell me how to treat him, know your damned place!”

With that said, he proceeded to shove me into his car and whizzed away. He drove like a maniac and I clutched onto the seatbelt for dear life.

I don’t understand what he’s being so furious about, he shows up after three days of cheating on me and the first thing he does is randomly get mad at stuff? I felt anger surging inside me as I began hating myself for being such a pushover.

We reached home in no time since we weren’t that far away to begin with. Gayle, much to my annoyance, again began dragging me inside.

“What were you thinking Omega?! Going out while smelling like- like that?” Gayle said as he shot me a menacing look “Bringing back the scent of another man, are you depraved enough to look for random strangers to f**k while you’re in heat?!”

Heat? My heat ended hours ago but given how Gayle wasn’t here even once during my heat, it must be the residual smell that gave him the idea.

However, his words enraged me. You’re never there for me, you’re always out cheating so how dare you ask me that?

“So what?”

“What-”

“So what if I went out like that, it’s not like you don’t go around f*****g women why can’t I go around f*****g men too?”

Gayle stared at me incredulously, I stared right back.

“A-are you insane?! I knew having an Omega b***h like you as Luna would ruin-”

“Well its not like you consider me your mate anyway so what’s the problem? And Luna? You can have any of your bitches be Luna for you right, so I don’t really care”

Gayle looked like he was ready to punch me, “You will not use that tone with me Omega! I don’t mind throwing out sluts like you!”

Yes, that’s exactly what I amount to every time. In his eyes I will always be an easily replaceable object so why don’t I destroy everything, “Then go ahead! What are you waiting for?! Don’t pretend like you don’t need me for the coronation, do you believe me when I say I don’t mind rejecting you right now?!”

Gayle seemed taken aback. He harshly grabbed my shoulders, “Rejecting me? Hah! Do you even know what you’re saying Omega? You think I’ll let you live well after that? Don’t forget that I’m still your Alpha! Also when I say I won’t let ‘you’ live well, I mean your sister too”

He enunciated each word before pushing me away and stalking out of the house. Hearing the door slam shut I let out the sigh building up in me. When will things finally get better?

……….

It’s been five hours since our fight and Gayle hasn’t returned home even once. What surprised me even more was the lack of pain in my chest. If he wasn’t cheating on me, then what was he doing?

It’s ironic how my mate not cheating on me was more surprising than him being absent. I began wondering if I had said too much, because if Gayle really did end up hurting me or Ashlyn then there will be no way out for us. He was after all our future Alpha.

Just when I began regretting my actions, Gayle’s scent wafted through my nostrils and the door flung open.

Standing right in front of me was Gayle with disheveled clothes and a disoriented look on his face. Something felt wrong about his scent. Gayle… was drunk?