Marriage of Secrets

Karla Yina Point Of View Holding my steering wheel in my hands, I felt my heart race against my chest. It wasn’t my intention to be in the car that day, but the amount of pressure placed on me was baffling. Wealth wasn’t everything! Wealth was never everything! I kept repeating over and over to myself. My anxiety grew worse and my breathing became heavy. I wasn’t asthmatic, but sometimes when I get really anxious like this…my breathing just stops. My eyes get blurry and I do not know what I am doing. My legs pressed down the accelerator as I drove faster. My husband’s lover has crossed all lines. I couldn’t take it anymore. Tears streamed down my cheeks, blurring my vision late that night. The pregnancy test was driving me crazy! The pregnancy test of a lover! And my husband’s reaction…The look on my own husband’s face…my own loving man…it killed me a thousand times. I watched him wrapped his arms around her asking if she wanted to marry him. After everything we have been through together?! I screamed in my head. After all the struggles, frictions, fights, deaths…after…after… “Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! I hate you soooo much!!!!” I bursted out in tears as I lost control of my driving and began to bawl my eyes out. It was at that moment I realized I was losing control of myself. My 2 years of marriage was already causing turmoil in my mind, and now it seemed I wished to die. I got a grip of myself realizing my car was speeding out of control, and an alarm kept blaring into my ears. I pressed my legs down the brake trying to slow the car down, but there was no point, it wasn’t working. “What…what is happening?” I thought to myself pressing it down multiple times. I got extremely nervous, and drove past drivers who screamed at me for being careless. My phone rang this time and the name of my sweetheart showed on the screen. I didn’t care of how much I hated him anymore…I didn’t care what was happening…I was just…I was just scared. “Baby, my brake isn’t working,” I panicked when I picked the call. My car turned into every sharp corner causing me a more panic attack each time. “Baby…what’s happening to my car? I can’t control it!” It was at that moment I heard a chuckle and the call went dead. My face froze at the realization. My eyes slowly turned to my phone screen with an unbelievable look. “Was he…had he…” Suddenly, the sound of a trailer heightened the fear in me, as it sped towards my direction. I tried driving away from it, but the steering wheel wouldn’t bulge. I saw its bright light shining into my eyes and shielded my face as my car skidded towards it. It was at that moment I died…I got a taste of what death felt like and how dark secrets and toxic love can be the ruin of someone. It was from that moment I hated love and…men. *** 1 YEAR AGO KARLA YINA (Third Point of view) Smiling at the camera, Karla Yina’s long pink gown was adjusted by some helpers. It wasn’t exactly her gown. Anderson Stone bought it for her. Nonsense! Its silky flaps and numerous glitters were the worst she had seen. “You look beautiful, Karla,” her manager showed her the prototype of their next company magazine. It was herself in an expensive designer set, advertising the recent collaboration. People called her a goddess. Her beauty was unmatchable. Karla Yina smiled nicely at her manager. All she wanted at that moment was to go home. She was done snapping for the day, and she had other things to do. Grah! If only she could refuse this job? “It’s done now, Karla,” her favorite words were said. She headed out and walked into a luxurious room. In it was the broad back of her husband. Wide and sexy just as she remembered. His name was one she couldn’t mention twice. He stood before her table waiting for her. She gazed at him nervously before walking behind him. Her hand slowly went on his shoulders. He swiftly turned to her. “You!,” he said with a deep tone. “Thank you for everything, Anderson,” she appreciated. “I do not know what I would have done without you. You saved my mother’s life and that means a lot to me. I do not know what you saw in me that day or…” His hand went in her lips, shutting it. He had a flirting look in his eyes, as his lips drew closer to hers. They were rarely close to each other. He refused to touch her or have anything to do with her. This was awkward now and Karla got shy. His hands caressed her lips, and went down her lower back and slim waist. This gestures were amusing. They sent chills down her spine. Then his hands went behind her neck and grabbed it aggressively. This caused her so much pain as she cried out. His once flirty eyes turned cold revealing his true colors. “What are you doing?!” She asked in tears. “Let go of me!” “When will you stop your stupid act?! I know you aren’t a good person, Karla,” His hands slipped into his pocket, and he pulled out an expensive wrist watch. “Take all the wealth you want and leave! That was why you married me after all! Stop pretending!” Karla couldn’t believe he thought of her that way. “This again!” She angrily pulled his hands off her. “Who do you think you are?! I do not want your stupid watch or wealth or whatever! This is just for my mother. My heart rips apart seeing her struggle on that bed every day and I cannot bear it. We agreed to do this for her! If she dies, I die, okay?!“ She hurried into the washroom, her voice choked with tears. Ridiculous! Why did he have to disrespect her like that! She held the sides of the sink controlling her trembling rage. Her heart was heavy; body was trembling with overwhelming feeling of disappointment. They were just too much. She felt lost and wasn’t sure of what to do. “Ahhh!” She was angry! Very angry! Rather than verge her anger, tears rolled down her eyes and she began to sob. Her mother was happy now, right? That was what she wanted. Why was Karla so unhappy still? What was making her rethink the decisions she had made? She couldn’t change them. Things weren’t the same. She gazed at the mirror still sobbing, and her memory went down the lane. “I wish I didn’t meet you that day.“