LOVE

i always ask my self what's is love? will love make you happy? if thats so i want love . i need love to fill out the hole in my heart. i need love to complete me. I am Mhaxxie Daltone 20 year old senior student in ASU and im taking a Mechanical engineer course. yha. right! being a girl taking a masculine course it make people around me though that i am a lesbian and i need to work hard to prove to then that i am not just a pretty girl . i always study that my two best friends called me boring. but what choice i have i am orphan i don't have a parents to support me to cheer up , celebrate my birthday give me an advice when i have a problem growing up in a poster home to another it teach me one thing dont be to attach because you dont know what the future has for you . thinking about it make me sad and so alone. when im 13 year old i start working on a dinner to wash plate and clean the bathroom to save some stash to support my needs cause my poster parents is no good they're just making some easy money on us . i just need to keep going to reach my goal to leave this hell hole that i called poster home. i dream to have a good life to study in the most prestigious university and i have it!! i have a full scholarship in Alexandria's State University and got out in hell hole at my 18th birthday . but why ? why it still here ? the shadow of loneliness and the hole in my heart that even my best friends cant heal . when i and my besties hanging out the main topic always about their boyfriends it make me curious why being in love make you crazy because my best friends Alexis and winter always talk about it and i thought they are crazy. i felt like i was left behind by there topic of being in love or loving someone. what its feel ? what they feel while kissing and having s*x in their boyfriends? my innocent mind thought it was just a game that will excite you in every level and when i get in the final stage there will be a fireworks that explodes and some magic that will make the birds sings and over shadow my loneliness. i thought having a boyfriend is the final stage and the magic will appear. i was wrong i feel nothing where Is the magic that make the bird sing and the beautiful fire works that will explode in the sky .