Why I'd Rather Be Wrong

Chapter 3, Part 2: Fates Crossed

Jaze D'Angelo

     I just went home from the gym, and still can't believe what just happened to me. It's still pretty early so I decided to go home first and treat this thing on my forehead. I have a shift later, and so is Garrett, so I guess we're gonna go to the nightclub together later.

     The five of us are currently having dinner together for the first time after a while. But, I just can't get him out of my mind, just like what happened to me towards Ian the first time I moved here but I started to move on about that, I guess. But, what's exactly happening to me? It's like I'm starting to feel some sort of attraction and affection towards some guys, it's crazy. They're all eating already and I'm just staring at the spaghetti on my plate while playing with my fork with both hands.

     One of them kicked my feet under the table "Hey," said Flynn. I looked at him and he looks way too serious right now, kinda scary too. "We're all eating but you, you've been staring at your plate for a minute or two, what the hell's wrong with you, huh?" he spoke and all of them stopped eating and looked at me.

     I looked at them "I-I've lost my appetite, I'm sorry guys," I said then attempted to go back to my room, but Flynn stood up and blocked my way.

     "Go back and sit down, eat with us and tell us what's your problem," he demandingly said, and there are traces of authority from the way he spoke.

     I had no other choice but to go back to where I'm sitting. I sat there for a second, and all of them are waiting for me to say something. "I-I've just been so stressed out lately, kinda back to the phase, I guess, but I'm fine, I will be..." I said then looked at them one by one.

     "F," Flynn said then stood up and reached his hand out, towards the middle of the table.

     Ian looked at Flynn and knew what to do "I," he said then also stood up to reach his hand out and then put it above Flynn's.

     "G," Garrett said along with a smile on his face then also stood up, reached his hand out, and put it above Ian's.

     They all looked at me and I already knew what to do. I also stood up to reach my hand out then put it above Garrett's. "H," I said and then gave off a legitimate smile.

     "T," Trenton also stood up, reached his hand out, and put it above mine.

     "Fight for me, fight for thee, we are a family!" we all said in unison then blasted our hands in the air as we sat back down. I felt so relieved as I realized how lucky I am about having them as my best friends, or more like brothers now, actually. They're the brothers that I never had biologically, but we're like a family, and there's nothing else I'd wish for...

     "Harris, whatever it is you're dealing with, even if you can't tell us, just know that we're always right here for you, okay?" Garrett spoke and then tapped my back. It just feels so good to hear this from a guy that's rarely too serious in life.

     "We're a family here, don't even think that we won't understand," Trenton said while he clasped our hands together into a fist. "Because we always will. Through your hardest times, we're all by your side, man, because you're not just someone."

     "Thank you so much, guys, and yeah, I'll never forget those things that you've just said," I replied and then smiled.

     "Bring it in," Flynn is literally not satisfied yet, he even stood up again and wants us all to have a group hug.

     We all stood up and then made a circle. We put our hands above each other's shoulders and then we had a group hug. It was so heartwarming, I've been needing this these days. I'm a little bit guilty because I didn't even tell them what really is happening to me, because I still have to figure it out myself, I'm still clueless...

     I'm already at work and I'm currently having my break but all I did was rest my hands against the counter and stare at something while my mind wanders to the very ends of my imagination.

     "You o'right, Harris my man?" Garrett asked sarcastically as he sat on the stool right in front of me.

     I gave him a confused look, squinting only one eye "What are you doing here?" I asked as I grabbed the bottle of tequila on the shelf.

     "I'm gonna have some drink, I've been so drained for blocking several teens pretending to be adults with those fake IDs, they thought they can fool this big guy right here," he explained then chortled like a kid, being so proud of himself.

     "Here's your tequila, ma'am," I said to the lady that's wearing pointed sunglasses in a freaking nightclub then handed her tequila in a copita glass. She already headed to the dancefloor and then Garrett and I just looked at her and each other back and forth then laughed together. "She's so weird. Anyways, what drink are you having?"

     "The classic Manhattan, please," he said then rested his arms on the counter while looking around.

     "Comin' right up," I replied and then grabbed a bottle of bourbon, sweet vermouth, Angostura and orange bitters, and a brandied cherry. I grabbed a chilled coupe glass and placed it on the side. I grabbed the mixing glass and poured two ounces of bourbon, an ounce of the sweet vermouth, a few drops of the bitters, and then garnished with a brandied cherry. I strained it into the coupe glass and placed it right in front of him "Here you go, sir," I said sarcastically and he just grinned at me.

    "Thanks, man," he replied and already took a sip then slightly shook his head after tasting it. "Wooh, that's more like it."

     The nightclub seems to be lacking people today which is a good thing for me but I ain't totally happy about it.

     "Yes, sir, yeah? Is he comin'? Okay, okay, I'm coming out now," Garrett was talking to someone through their walkie-talkie, which is obviously his fellow bouncers that I don't even know. Well, I'm already familiar with their faces but I just don't wanna have some connection with them so I didn't even have the urge to be friends with them in the first place. "Hey," said Garrett, "Some rich man's gonna come, get yourself together and impress him," he said then winked at me in a vaguely dirty way.

     "Aight," I replied then pressed my hands against the counter, acting like I'm all ready to meet them.

     The fancy neon lights of the nightclub suddenly glew bright and a man in a plain white shirt and denim shorts is already heading towards this way. I couldn't see his face yet because my vision is obscured by the bright lights. He's slowly emerging, while he's also slowly walking towards me with his hands in the pockets of his shorts. He's a pretty buffed man, I'm starting to see his face bit by bit and - f**k.

     He sat on the stool right in front of me and rested his elbow on the counter "Hi, we've met before, right?" he spoke, and I was still petrified by his presence. "Hey, are you alright? How's your head, is it all okay now?"

     I suddenly snapped out "Oh, y-yeah, I'm all better now. And yeah, what a coincidence," I replied then low-key scratched my head because I am truly embarrassed that that's what he had to recognize me about, my freaking clumsiness. "What are you having today, uh - sir?" I politely asked with a smile on my face, trying to keep a nice reputation.

     "I'm just gonna have a beer today," he said then smiled at me with his eyes half-closed.

     It's so f*****g precious. He is...

     I quickly turned around, forcefully closed my eyes, trying to resist this unknown temptation I'm having towards this freaking man. If he's not right behind me I might've slapped my face several times already. I inhaled up to my full extent and then turned back right after I exhaled. "I-I'm sorry, what beer are you having, sir? We actually have plenty of options here -"

     "I'm having a bottle of BrewDog," he said as he cut me off, "Don't be so nervous about me, I'm still a man, just like you," I just stared at him for a whopping five seconds after saying those words in such a manly yet sexy manner. "By the way, my name's Cassius Clifford," he said then reached his hand.

     I also reached mine "Jaze D'Angelo," I said then we shook hands. His hands are large, like frick. It's almost twice as large as mine.

     I was actually gonna ask him about why he's gonna have a BrewDog that's already twice the amount of my tuition, but after saying that he's a Clifford, it all makes sense now. To be honest, I actually thought that he was just a new customer that just wandered around but turns out, he's actually the rich man that Garrett's referring to. I was totally deceived by his extremely casual attire. I've heard the last name Clifford several times already and it's such a hefty name around here, I've also heard that Cliffords are tremendously rich, but I believe they're pretty nice since I've always heard positive comments about them. As far as I know, I've heard someone talk about one Clifford that is a famous writer and photographer, maybe it's him?

     "Yeah, right away, sir Cassius. Please allow me to just call you by your given name," I replied politely along with a half-smile and then turned back already to go grab a bottle of BrewDog in the beer fridge. I grabbed a bottle of BrewDog and opened it using a bottle opener. I'm already gonna give him his drink, and I saw him talking to Dylan, our manager. I approached them, Dylan gazed upon me and I just nodded at him. "Here's your drink, sir Cassius," I said and then handed him his bottle of BrewDog.

     I left them as I'm gonna restock the fridge because it's missing plenty of cold drinks already. I'm like 10 meters away from them already but I can still hear their conversation.

     "So, Mr. Clifford, what do you do for a living?" Dylan asked.

     "I'm a pretty busy man, I'm all about arts, I'm a photographer, an artist, and a freelance writer. I always loved my plate being full, because I have nothing else to do but to satisfy myself on what I am passionate about," he replied, I was right, and yeah, he's so industrious as heck that's why he's already like that.

     "No way, the bartender that served your drink is a photographer too, you two will get along together!" Dylan bragged, and - wait a minute...

     I just pretended like I didn't hear them, and just continued stacking the drinks in the fridge.

     "Wait, is he? That's awesome, yeah," I glanced at him right after he made such a compliment about me, and he didn't even look at me.

     "Does having a family of yours isn't a part of your plate yet?" Dylan asked, obviously curious about this man.

     "Hmm, not at all - I mean, not at the moment," he replied.

     "That's nice, can't blame ya. Anyways, I'm gonna have to go now, I still have a lot of things to take care of, enjoy your night," Dylan said and then went around the counter, heading towards me.

     He stopped beside me while I'm crouching because I'm putting beers at the bottom part of the fridge. I looked up at him "Hey, D'Angelo, I'm gonna go now, entertain him," he said.

     I stood up and closed the fridge "Yeah, I got it," I said then smiled convincingly.

     He already walked off, he and Chase just nodded at each other as Dylan already left. I was utterly jittering while I walked towards him, subsequently tapping my fists against each other. I just stopped right in front of him and he's busy on his phone, I guess I'm just gonna wait for him to put down his phone and have a talk with him. Everybody is on the dancefloor at the moment so he's the only one sitting here. He finally put his phone down and took a sip of his beer.

     I panicked for a second "A-Anything else that you'd wanna have, sir?" I asked.

     "I told you already, right? Just call me Chase," he said and I have just reminded myself. This is all because of my freaking nervousness, I'm jittering so much, I even stutter.

     "Yeah, my apologies, Chase," I replied and then scratched my nape.

     "Wanna...sit here on the stool beside me and...talk?" he asked, and I just felt way more nervous. My anxiety hits way too hard towards this man, like jeez, what's so special with him?

     "Yeah, sure," I replied and then went around the counter so that I could sit beside him.

     He just looked at me for a second "Don't you wanna have a drink for yourself? My treat," he said.

    "No, no, thank you, but I don't feel like drinking tonight," I said while I clasped my hands together and put them on the counter.

     His mood suddenly changed, negatively "Mkay, I guess you're stuck with me, I might be drinking for a while, I gotta let something outta my chest," he said while he stared at the bottle he's holding.

     "I don't mind, just tell me what's wrong, man, maybe I could help, if you wouldn't mind telling me too," concerned, I replied right away.

     He just sighed, and then chuckled along with a smirk "It's all messed up, I'm a mess," he took the final sip of his beer and then placed the bottle on the counter. "I just - I'm just so dumb not to realize that the one I love has already been loving someone else much more than me. We were perfect, we love each other, well, that's what I thought... I guess fate do be playin' with us sometimes, and I'm completely mortified because I've already told my parents that they're finally meet - uh this one that got away..." he just shook his head and then just stared at the counter.

     I have no idea what to say, I'm not that experienced in love either, that's why I ended up like this too. His case was truly heartbreaking, even I don't know what to do in that situation.

     I subsequently tapped my fingers on the counter, collecting courage to speak "I'm sorry to hear that, man, but...people come for a reason, and if they go, they leave us a valuable lesson. I may not be the right person to give you advice, because I'm also a mess when it comes to those kinds of stuff, but... the right person will come to us, eventually," I said and we just looked at each other. His eyes were so pure like he truly loved whoever that was, and I feel so sorry about him. "Cheer up, but right now, you can just let it all out, drink it all away, you'll move on soon," I said and then patted his ginormous back that's also as hard as a rock.

     He suddenly wiped a tear away and sniffed. He looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back his tears. I just stroked his back gently. "It's been two months already, yet, I can't still move on..." he said then bit his lip right away, trying not to burst into tears. "Ahhh, I'm a total wreck..."

     I grabbed my handkerchief and offered it to him "Here," I said while I'm still stroking his back. "It's okay, let it all out, I'm right here."

     He grabbed the handkerchief and used it to wipe his tears "Thanks, man," he said. "Can you get me another bottle, please?" he requested and tried getting himself together.

     "Sure," I said then stood up to go grab another bottle from the fridge. I handed him her second bottle of beer for the night "Here ya go," I said. I just stood right in front of and pressed my hands against the counter. "Feelin' a little bit better now?" I asked, he looked at me and he just nodded. "By the way, my name's Jaze, but you can call me Harris if you want," I said then offered my hand.

    He also offered his hand "I'd just stick with calling you Jaze, as it's almost symmetrical to my nickname," he said then we shook hands. "Nice to meet you, Jaze," he said then smiled.

     "Nice to meet you too, Chase," I said then smiled back at him. It's just funny and adorable how he's so full of smiles despite what he's been going through, and they're so precious...

     "How old are you now, Jaze?" he asked.

     "I'm..." wait, how old am I again? "Oh, I'm 20, turning 21 soon," I replied and I was low-key embarrassed for a second as I almost forgot how old am I.

     "Ooh, spicy, what are your plans for your debut?" he wondered.

     My face went completely blank for a second as I don't even know what my plans are for my birthday this year that's supposed to be my debut.

     I scratched my head "I... don't have anything planned in mind, and I don't think a debut will happen either..." I said in an embarrassed tone.

     "What? How come? That only happens once, why not give it a shot?" he asked.

     "Even if I want to, I couldn't. Because... I ain't financially stable..." I murmured while I looked down. "I still have a lot of unpaid tuition fees in school, I have to contribute to paying rent, and such other stuff. So I guess I may not be able to have a fancy debut, just a normal birthday celebration would be fine, with my friends..." I explained while I forced a smile like everything's really okay.

     "Right, that's why... But I hope you can make up for all of that so that you'd have a chance to have the perfect day you've always dreamt about," he said.

     I just shrugged my shoulders "Yeah, I hope so too..."

     "I have an offer for you though, since I wanna help you so bad, and I also need help too..." he said.

     "W-what is it?" I asked right away.

      "Uhh - I'm gonna pay you, and all you have to do is come with me," he said and then checked his phone. "It's currently Monday so, I want you to come with me on Saturday night."

     "What are we gonna do?" I asked while I stared at him.

     He looked back at me "We're just gonna have a date," he said.

     I chortled "A-are you serious?" I asked while holding back my laughter. I looked at his face and he seemed way too serious. I removed the smile on my face right away "Oh, you are, I guess I'm just gonna...think about it," I replied, "It's just the two of us right?"

     "Yeah," he said and gave a reassuring smile. "So, I guess I'll just text you?" he asked.

     "Sure," I replied then quickly grabbed my phone. I searched for my number "Here's my number," I said then handed him my phone.

     He saved my number and he accidentally pressed the home button, and he saw the picture of me and Clare that was taken a few months ago as my wallpaper, on the same spot where we talked yesterday, under the cottonwood tree.

     "Oh, you have a girlfriend?" he asked while he showed me what he just seen from my phone.

     I bit my lips for a second "Yeah, her name's Clare..." I said then smiled low-key. "We don't actually hang out that much anymore, but we still do. Y'know, life happens... hehe..."

     "That's nice... I envy you," he spoke and murmured the last words he has said. "Anyways, I think I'm feeling a lot better now, thanks to you, I think I'm gonna head home already," he said then already chugged the beer left in his bottle. "Just tell Dylan about the drinks I've just had, he already knows what to do. Thank you though," he said then winked at me.

     "Right, got it..." I replied and he already turned his back on me. I just stood there, speechless while I watched him leave the nightclub.

     Even though I still wanted to have some time with him tonight, I feel like fate itself made its own way of eluding me to what may happen...

     What's happening to me...