Why I'd Rather Be Wrong

Chapter 2: Open Relationship

Jaze D'Angelo

(6:44 AM) Clare: Hey, you up already? I'm free today, let's hang out, I miss you...

(7:02 AM) Me: Just woke up, I'm down, I'm free too.

(7:04 AM) Clare: That's great! I wanna talk to you about something though, something about us...

(7:04 AM) Me: What is it? What do you mean?

(7:05 AM) Clare: I'll see ya later...

I'm still snuggled up in my bed while hugging my precious pillow tight into my chest. I don't know what Clare's talking about. Although I have a bad feeling about this, I'm looking forward to finally having some time with her, after so long... I stood up because I decided to drink some water and make myself a cup of coffee and start my day already. I walked out of my room in my boxers while also shirtless. There I saw Flynn, watching TV that's in the living room while he's sitting in the dining room, and I hear Trenton cooking in the kitchen. Despite the cold atmosphere of the morning, they're all shirtless too. Well, we're always like this anyways.

"What day is it today? I gotta mark this up, you guys are up early in the morning," I said sarcastically then grabbed a mug in the cupboard.

"Tell me about it," Ian replied, watching TV while sitting on the couch beside Garrett with his feet up on the glass living room table.

Flynn looked at me "You? What are you up to?" he asked then took a sip of his coffee while still staring at me.

I shrugged "Nothin', just goin' out with Clare," I replied then put my mug in the microwave.

"Ooh! We gotta mark this day too because after a century you're finally hanging out with your gal, need any tips on how to make this one-in-a-million type of day perfect?" Garrett said then wrapped his arms on my shoulder from behind.

I waved him off "I don't need advice from someone that has been dumped several times now," I said sarcastically and he just covered his mouth with his fist because it's true.

"Just shut up Gary, let him do his own tactics," said Flynn.

"Hey! How many times do I have to tell y'all that I don't like being called Gary!" insulted, Garrett yelled.

"It's not our fault, Gary," Flynn replied sarcastically, adding insult to injury. Then, he already walked into his room with his cup of coffee while staring at his phone.

Garrett shrugged with his palms up "Just call me Brett at least," he then frowned in the corner with his arms crossed.

He's always like that, acting like a kid when he's utterly pissed. I guess that's his soft side.

"Breakfast is...ready," Trenton walked out of the kitchen holding a tray full of fried goodies. He's also shirtless and he just wore his apron. He then placed the tray on the dining table. I sat down and already grabbed something to eat then started eating already. "Seems like you're in a hurry, you got something planned for today?"

"He's definitely in a hurry. He's having some time with Clare, after a million years," Garrett replied as he also sat down beside me and hit me with his elbow, "Right?" then he laughed.

A few seconds ago this man literally has his eyebrows united, and now he's all back to normal.

"Okay, okay, what else am I gonna say?" irritated, I replied, then continued eating. "Anyway, do you have a shift tonight, Garrett?" I asked then wiped my mouth with a towel.

He swallowed the food in his mouth first before responding "Yeah, how about you?" he replied then drank some water.

"I don't know yet, Dylan hasn't texted me yet," I replied while looking at my phone. "Anyways, I'm full now, I'm gonna go take a shower."

(9:20 AM) Me: I'm all ready, where are we gonna meet?

(9:29 AM) Clare: Open up, I'm outside.

I quickly walked towards the door and opened it halfway then peeked outside, and yeah, she's there right down the patio of our house. I opened the door and told her to come in, she just shook her head, trying to tell me that she doesn't want to go inside. I then just walked outside already. I'm currently wearing gray sweatpants, a white t-shirt, white rubber shoes, and a denim jacket that I borrowed from Flynn. And she's currently wearing a black floral blouse and navy blue ripped jeans. I walked towards her while twirling the keys of my car using my index finger.

I got right in front of her "Hey there," then kissed her. "Why didn't you wanna go inside?" I asked while I walked towards my car and she walked along with me.

Her mood suddenly changed negatively "Duh, I don't wanna get hugged by that annoying friend of yours," she said then rolled her eyes.

I squinted my eyes while grinning "Who? Garrett?" I asked. "He's always like that to anyone though," I reasoned out, trying to defend my friend's side.

"Well, I don't care, I just don't like that type of treatment," she then sighed and scratched her forehead. "Anyways, wanna go for a road trip together? I was thinking about going to the fair, but it's still early - oh, why don't we just grab some food and eat at the park?" she asked.

We already reached my car "I'm always down for anything," I replied and then opened the door for her, and she had already gone inside.

I went in the driver's seat, I started the car, I looked at my side and she's already on her phone, texting someone.

And yeah, I almost forgot to introduce her properly. Her full name is Clare Mitchell Porch. We've been together for almost a year now, we don't really hang out that much anymore, but I don't really mind. She's the breadwinner of their family since her dad already left them and her siblings are still little. She works as a call center agent, that's why we don't really get the opportunity to hang out. She looks beautiful, she's obsessed with gothic and dark makeup. She's quite shorter than me, she has golden blonde hair that's always in a ponytail, she has hazel eyes, she's quite pale, she's fit and sort of voluptuous. We've been friends ever since I moved here because she used to live at the apartment right in front of our house, but she already moved a few months after because her uncle sponsored her, and that's where she met Rose. Rose is a brunette girl, and as far as I know, she and Clare were the same age. I don't really know that much about her, because Clare only introduced her to me and we don't really talk about her before. Clare just updates me when they have a trip together when they're going somewhere, and stuff. I don't wanna ruin their fun because they seem pretty close to each other, like siblings. I sometimes get jealous of the time she spends with Rose, but I have no other choice, that's her life I guess, but I'm always right here for her.

We had takeouts at the drive-thru of a fast-food chain, and we're currently heading to the City Park here in Denver that is not that far. Our trip was very quiet, and it is so unusual. Because Clare is actually the type of girl that couldn't shut up sometimes - and I like that because she's able to overlap the tremendous silence I give off. But now, everything is just...colder...and bland... And right now she's been staring outside the car window the entire time like she's been preparing all of the statements she's about to give me later, I for sure hope they're positive ones... Eventually, we reached City Park, I parked near Ferril Lake, I already turned off my car and looked at Clare, she's still looking outside.

"Clare," I spoke as I pulled the keys, trying to break the earsplitting silence around us and to remind her that we're already here because she's clearly so focused on something in her head. "We're...here..." I murmured.

She looked back at me "I know," and I doubt what she just said, "This place just brings back so many memories of us," she said then grinned.

I already opened the door beside me "Let's go, the weather's not that bad today," I said while looking up in the sky through the windshield.

I grabbed our food then hopped out of the car and she also went out already. We're walking towards the Lake, she's walking along with me while looking around as the wind gently blew her hair so she started to squint. She suddenly glanced at me and noticed me looking at her, she smiled at me with her eyes half-closed, as the sun emerged from the cloud obscuring it behind me. We reached our favorite spot, under a cottonwood tree a few meters away from the lake itself. We sat on the ground, and I placed the paper bag that contains our food beside us. I just hugged my toes and gazed upon the vivid sky above, waiting for her to initiate, because I don't really get the urge to initiate something wholeheartedly. I don't really know but I am supposed to love her, right? And we're supposed to love each other. But sometimes, I just don't feel like it... It's normal for some couples, I guess, but in my case, I feel like I'm just returning the love I am receiving from her, but now that she doesn't really show that much affection to me, there's literally no love to reciprocate. Yes, we've been off for almost a month now, and I was supposed to make a move to solve that but I didn't because I felt like I didn't have to, which was weird, because we're a couple, well, I guess.

She gave off a tremendous sigh which made me look at her. She then looked at her lap "So, I've been thinking - "

"That we should break up?" I cut her off because I figured that that's where all this is going, so I made it directly to the point.

"No, Jaze," she grinned, "but yeah, it's kinda similar to that," she said while playing with her nails. At one point, I just missed being called by my own name, it felt so f*****g precious but there was hurt because it actually means that we're no longer together...

"Then what?" I asked, then looked at her with a blank face.

She waved the hair on her forehead aside and then looked at me "I was thinking that... maybe...we switch this into an open relationship..."

"Let me ask you one thing straight; what's the purpose of switching this into an open relationship when we're already and low-key like that?" I explained, and she was left speechless.

She suddenly looked away "Because... We've already spent a lot of moments together, and I'm grateful for that. But, I just don't feel the same anymore, maybe only at this point in time but, who knows... I just don't want you to expect that much from me and I don't want to make this last longer but we're not like a couple anymore..." she explained without looking at me.

"It's fine, I don't really expect that much from you anymore. But still, why don't we just - break our ties together? Why would you rather switch this into an open relationship rather than end it already?" I asked while I looked at the cars passing by at the road behind us.

"Because maybe I might suddenly change, and there's still something about me that I need to answer..." she said, and from the voice she just emitted, I could sense the sadness and the pity behind it.

"Is it something I can meddle with? I mean - maybe I could help?" I asked and we just looked at each other.

She smiled "You're already helping me... I may not be able to tell you but, you are already helping me with the problem I'm dealing with..."

"O...kay? I guess that's good, I'm glad that I'm already helping you even without my knowing." I replied and smiled back at her. "But, just remember that - I'm still right here for you, even if we break up, I'm still here, but if you wanna keep it this way, then let's keep it this way..."

She rested her head on my shoulder "This is why I couldn't really let go of you, Jaze, you're just so amazing, you never really failed to give me hope with everything..."

I caressed her head "I just hope that you find the answer you've been searching for, and I hope you all the best, because... I'm certain that after this day, we might not be able to hang out for a while again."

"I guess... But, trust me, I'm always looking forward to hanging out with you..." she replied, and it felt legitimate.

"Same, Clare, same..." I replied and continued caressing her head. "Anyway, does this mean that - I may see you with another guy?" I asked and she immediately sat properly then looked at me.

"Well, in my case, no," she replied, emphasizing her no. "But for you, you could, and I won't mind seeing you with another girl since this is also my idea, and maybe you're already sick of me and you don't really feel the same anymore, so that's why I came up to this, and also for me too, for a reason I couldn't really tell you yet because I, myself, don't know the answer too," she explained while hugging her toes and started staring at the sky.

"Yeah, right," I said sarcastically and then grinned.

"I mean it, Jaze..." I looked at her, and yeah, I saw the legitimacy from her face. "Though, if you already wanna end this now, I don't think I'm able to oppose," she said.

"No, I've already said that we're keeping it this way, so, we are..." I replied, "Can I just - kiss you? Who knows, maybe this is our last..."

She shrugged her head "Why not?" she said along with a grin.

I moved closer to her and toucher her chin and then kissed her on the lips. It felt different, or maybe I just couldn't feel that much affection towards her anymore... She's right, I am kinda sick of this relationship already...

Or maybe it's something else?