The Last Tail Of The Fallen Luna

CHAPTER ONE The Seventh Loss Seraphina’s POV I sat on the ground in my little garden behind the palace, pressing seeds into the soil as I had countless times before. The healers did not like my coming out here. They told me I should be in my bed, that a woman four months pregnant shouldn't be kneeling in dirt. But my hands had to be occupied, and my mind to be diverted from the same fear. “You're going to destroy that dress," Mira said as she set her basket down beside me. I didn't look up. “It's an old dress, it's already torn.” She knelt beside me, snatching some of the dead leaves from the mint before they could strangle the healthier ones. “I know that the healers will scold me if they discover you again here.” “Who will tell them? You or i?” I teased. Mira huffed a small laugh and then, when I finally looked at her, her eyes were studying me too much. “How’re you Luna.” I sat down on my heels and let the question sink in my chest before I responded to it. "Terrified." She didn't speak for a while. Just waited, like she did always when she knew there was more coming. “I’m scared.”I said. “Every time I learn that I am carrying a child, there is this rush of hope, but I hate it now, Mira, I hate feeling it, because I know how that ends. Carrying them for weeks, sometimes months, and then they're gone before I even let myself imagine holding them.” "Seraphina—" Before she could soften it, I said, “I'm tired. I'm over the hope feeling.” Mira extended her two hands and gripped mine in both, which was covered in dirt. “ but we can’t let negativity take over.” "I know." “Then that shall be sufficient for this day. Let’s go in… you need to rest.” Mira said with a smile. I wanted to. I really wanted it to be good enough. Rather, my mind drifted to something darker, something I hadn't spoken of with anyone. "Do you ever wonder if the Moon Goddess is punishing me for something? Some crime I did and can't remember it at all?" Mira gripped my hand in a firm, almost crushing, grip. “Don't think that, don't blame yourself for this.” "Then why me?" My voice was softer than what I'd hoped. “Why is it that it continues to happen to me “No,” she replied, “I don't know. But it's not punishment. It's not something you did.” I didn't believe her, not completely. We worked for awhile more, but not a lot of words were used. I only got to grab a pair of shears, and then I knew. "Mira. Where is Kael?" She blinked as if she was surprised that I didn't know already. "You didn't hear? The king left two days ago, to broker peace between the northern and eastern territories. He's expected back today." Two days. My own mate had been two days gone and I'd never noticed! It was an unexpected feeling of guilt that came on top of me, but I swallowed it before it hit me in the face. I said, "Yes, that's right. "I remember now." I didn't remember. I said it so she would not be worried about me anymore than she was already. The horns blared and before we could complete the line of seedlings, they sounded, loud and triumphant, rolling out over the courtyards and gardens. In one swift motion, Mira was on her feet. “It is the victory call, he's back.” Servants were running from the garden gate before I could get up off the ground, calling out for the preparations to be made for the feast, for the musicians to be brought to join in the festivities. It was all played out in front of me and I made my choice in a flash. I wouldn't run out to meet him in all the chaos! I asked Mira to help me with the bath, "Help me bathe. "And bring me something appropriate for tonight.” When my maids were done with me I hardly recognized the woman in the mirror – silver hair parted from my face, a gown as deep as dark frost blue, my skin washed of garden dust. Once I touched the curve of my abdomen, gently, before I departed from my chambers. I discovered Kael in his private rooms, dressed, one of his men helping him to tie the ceremonial clasps at his shoulder. When I entered he turned and for a while we were silent. "Seraphina…. How are you?” He asked after taking a good look at me. "Well enough." Came my short, polite reply. "And the baby?" He asked. “The baby is well too.” I smiled. He nodded, and that was it; we didn't know what to say after. This had been the case for months now – careful questions, careful answers – nothing below them. I looked in his face for something, anything but he gave me his arm. “They're in the waiting room in the Grand Hall.” I took it, and we walked in silence. By the time we arrived there was already a celebration going on in the Grand Hall and golden light was pouring down and wine flowed freely, the smell of roasted meat thick in the air. I sat down next to Kael, who was seated at the table's head, and I sat up straight and smiled when I should have. The War General stood and lifted his cup aloft. “Two warring nations at the borders, and our king brought them peace—without a drop of blood! Just the mention of his name was enough to make them fall down to their knees!” There was a great applause from the hall, fists pounding wooden tables and glasses held high for Kael. I joined in with them in clapping. Then suddenly, the room tipped over. The golden light that filled my eyes was distorted, and my vision was blurred. I held the table with my hand to steady myself and then, in my own hand, I saw my fingers closing into claws, black-tipped and scuttling, before they snapped back into their normal shape, as if nothing at all had occurred. My heart was pounding in my ribcage. I didn't wait. I didn't even look at Kael when I got up from the seat and silently scurried out of the hall, not looking back at the curious eyes that were staring after me as I ran towards the doors. I walked all the way to the palace hospital. When I finally spotted the royal healer, I said, "It's happening again," in short, panicked gasps. “I believe I've lost another tail, please please look at me, look at the baby as well.” He didn't ask questions. He simply guided me into the examination room and began his work while I was left outside, pacing the corridor, my arms wrapped around myself as if that alone could hold everything together. Minutes passed. Each one longer than the last. Then the door opened, and the healer stepped out, his eyes finding mine with an expression I already knew I wouldn't survive. "The baby is dead," he said. "And you lost two, not one, tail."