RULES WE BREAK

Thea's POV; The moment I step out of the car, I have to remind myself to close my mouth. The sight of the cruise ship is nothing short of breathtaking. It's huge - no, majestic - the kind of vessel that look like it could hold me and my entire hometown and still have room for more. I take in the towering decks, the gleaming railings and the sparkling lights that string along the ship like it's dressed up for a grand celebration. And then it hits me. It's Christmas Eve. That's why everything looks extra magical. Shawn laughs, nudging me gently as I gawk. "Babe, if you stare any harder, they'll make you part of the crew." I grin, my eyes still fixed on the ship. "Do you have any idea how long I've been dreaming about this? A Christmas Cruise?" I exclaim. Everyone has a got a bucket list, right? Or at least some big dreams that feel half-impossible to accomplish, the ones you keep in your mind even when they seem out of reach. Maybe it's a trip to South Korea or Paris, a ride in a hot-air balloon. And if you don't have one...well, you're missing out! Seriously, you've got to start one. It doesn't have to be big. You don't need to plan a trip to Mars or anything - unless you're into that, in which case, by all means, aim for the stars! But a bucket list is like having a secret stash of dreams you can look forward to, small adventures waiting for you to chase them down. A luxurious Christmas cruise tour has stood on my bucket list for years. That is, ever since I was little. I would daydream about it. I would flip through those glossy travel magazines, pretending I was grown-up with champagne in hand, cruising into the Christmas with the kind of elegance only a ship on the open sea can offer. Back then, it seemed impossible. Standing here now, with the massive ship towering before me, I feel excited and at the same time I'm in disbelief. I can hardly believe that I'm about to cross off this long-standing wish from my bucket list, and sharing it with Shawn makes it feel even more perfect. Shawn manages everything smoothly. He drops off our luggage, handles check-in, and guides me through the security with a confident smile. I barely notice the process because I'm too busy taking in every glittering detail of the terminal and the ship towering before us. When our boarding group is called, Shawn squeezes my hand and leads me onto the ship. Staff greets us with champagne, and as we enter the grand lobby, I feel like I've stepped into a dream. We make our way to our suite, and when we open the door, I gasp at the sight of plusg bed, the elegant decor, and a wall of windows overlooking the endless ocean. I turn to Shawn, my eyes shining. "It's perfect," I whisper, feeling like I've entered a fairytale, and Shawn is the prince who has made it all come true. Before I can take another breath, Shawn is already so close, his presence towering over me as he steps in. His hands cup my face, his eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that makes my heart race. Slowly, almost reverently, he leans in, pressing his lips to mine in a gentle kiss, as if savoring the moment. He pulls back just slightly, his voice low, husky with desire. "No, you are perfect...more than I ever imagined." The kiss deepens as he closes the space again, his lips moving urgently against mine, hands pulling me closer. I melt into him, my breath hitching, but just as quickly, I pull away, my hand pressing gently against his chest, my voice shaky. "We... We said we’d wait." His lips hovers near mine, his breathing erratic. "I know..." He kisses me again, slower this time, savoring every inch of me. "But I can't help it... I want you." I try to pull away again, pushing against his chest, but he is relentless, his hands sliding down my back, pulling me closer as his lips find my neck. "You drive me crazy, Thea," he whispers between kisses, his breath hot against me skin. "I can't stop... I want you so much," he murmurs against my jaw, his hands sliding up my back and gently tugging at the zipper of my dress. I gasp and push against him but his strength is overpowering, his need growing every passing second. "I really mean it..." I tell him, my voice barely audible. He guides me back toward the bed and presses me down onto the plush bed, his kisses trailing from my lips down my jawline, then lower along my collarbone. I squirm, trying to sit up and gently pushes at his shoulders. "Shawn, stop!" my voice trembles with a mix of disbelief and frustration, my chest rising and falling rapidly. But he doesn't stop. "Stop it!" I shove at him again, pushing him with all my might, and this time he finally pulls back and looks down at me with frustration in his eyes. My heart pounds in my chest, a storm of emotions swirling within me. "What is wrong with you? I told you to stop!" My voice cracks, my eyes wide, filled with both confusion and hurt. His jaw clenches as he sits back on his heels, his gaze burning into mine. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he snaps, his voice low and furious. “I’m your boyfriend, and we’ve been together for how long? And 'this' is how you act? You’ve been starving me, making me wait like some 'i***t'.” My breath catches in my throat, but I don't want to back down. I prop myself up on my elbows, glaring at him, my voice sharp with anger. "I told you I’m not ready! It’s not just about you and what you want. It’s my decision!” His eyes narrow, the anger bubbling up inside him like a boil about to burst. “Your decision?” He scoffs, running a hand through his hair. “God, it’s like you’re stuck in the past. It's the 21st century, and you’re still acting like some innocent, untouchable virgin! I love you, I’m your boyfriend, and you’re still treating me like I’m a damn stranger! What, you think waiting until marriage is going to solve everything?” I flinch, his words cutting deep. I sit up fully now, pushing myself away from him, my eyes flashing with hurt and anger. "You have no idea how important this is to me, do you?" My voice trembles with emotion, but there is no way I'm going to let him see me break. "You don’t understand why I want to wait. I want to be sure. I want us to be ready, and not just about s*x, but about everything! But you don’t get that, do you?” Shawn rans his hands through his hair again, and starts pacing, his frustration building. "You're acting like I’m some kind of monster for wanting to be close to you, to be with you. Do you know how long I’ve been patient? How long I’ve held back? I’m starving for you, and you’re pushing me away like I’m nothing!" He slams his hand against the bed in anger. “I’m your boyfriend, not some saint!” My eyes well up, but I blink back the tears, trying to stay composed. “That’s not fair… You know how much I care about you, but I can’t just throw myself at you just because you want it. It’s not that simple.” He takes a step toward me, his chest heaving with anger. “You think I don’t know that?” He sneers, his voice dripping with frustration. “But you’re not listening. It’s been 3 years, and you still won’t let me touch you. It’s like you think I’m some kind of animal. I’m not asking for the world, just a little intimacy, but you make me feel like I’m asking for everything.” The words hit me harder than I expected. I recoil, my throat tightening as I hold back the tears. “You don’t understand, do you?” I whisper, my voice shaking. “You’re not listening to me. This isn’t about you, it’s about what I’m ready for… You’re not respecting that.” Shawn stands there, breathing hard, the anger still simmering in his eyes. But the hurt in my expression seems to drain him of the fight. His face softens, but the words are already out there, the damage done. He looks away, his voice quieter, almost defeated. “You’ve got no idea what this is doing to me. You don’t know what it’s like to feel like I’m just… waiting for nothing.” The silence that follows feels suffocating. My heart pounds in my chest and the pain of his words stings more than I had expected. But even though it hurts, it doesn't change how I feel about him. "I’m not going to take offense," I say, my voice steady but heavy with emotion. "I know you didn’t mean it... I know you’re just angry. But right now, I need space." I push myself off the bed, my legs shaky and my hands trembling as I straighten my dress. "I need to get some air," I add, my voice cold, masking the ache inside. "I’ll be outside for a while." Without another glance at him, I walk past him and out of the suite, the door closing behind me with a soft click.