The Trials of the Soul

Train

When I ran into the hard chest, I was about to fall backward and then I felt arms wrap around me and not letting me fall. I look up to see Aaron's face, which is actually too close to mine. we stay in that position for a bit and I felt an urge to kiss him. But I stopped myself and pushed him away. I knew I was blushing so I turned my whole body took in the opposite direction. “what are you doing here” I asked. “you didn't think you would go on this trip alone, did you ?” Aaron asked me. honestly, I was hoping to be alone. however, I was not going to tell Aaron how I really felt. “Noooo…” I said. “see? I know you Amira. I had to make sure you didn't go alone. So, I got packed and I waited out here for you.”. I looked at him For awhile and then said “how did you know I wasn't going to leave my house quickly?” I asked him. “You're slow and always late,” he said. “Ouch,” I said, “but since you're here you get to drive then”.  He happily agreed to drive the car and we headed towards a train station. we parked the car and headed inside. it seemed like it was travel season because there were so many people at the train station. as we waited in line I had an eerie feeling that we were being followed. I decided to act normal and not tell Aron. when we got to the ticket stand I said said “ two tickets to Tullsilk”. The lady proceeded to give us the tickets and we headed off tours the platform to the train. as we walked I could tell an object was lingering too long in my peripheral vision. I decided to turn around quickly, but whatever or whoever it was disappeared quickly. and all I hear is Aaron say “ Hey Amir, what's wrong?” “nothing “ I say maybe too quickly. he doesn't say anything back and we continue to walk to our train. 

As we get on the train and we look for our seats. We are sitting together in an economy seating area. we sit down and wait for the train to take off. people start to the board and to our surprise, there are not too many passengers in our cart. It's 6:00 PM and the train is leaving the platform. and that's when I realized this is going to be a very long ride. Aaron and I do not really talk. the atmosphere is actually a little uncomfortable. Then Aaron reaches into his backpack and takes out a sandwich in offers it to me. “thank you “ I said. I proceed to open the sandwich and I realize it's an egg, cheese, and ham sandwich. and it's just the way I like it. I just stare at the sandwich because if I looked at Aron I wouldn't be able to contain myself. Honestly, I squeal a little and take a bite out of my sandwich. I hear Aaron chuckle and they decide to turn and look at him. I smile because it tastes so good. after I'm done with the sandwich I ask Aaron if he would like to take turns sleeping. he agrees and I urge him to Sleep first because he looks so tired. And honestly, I was still a little afraid of my nightmare. he finally agreed and try to fall asleep. 

well, he slept I continued to read Collins's file. a lot of details did not add up, but that was expected because this was a homicide case. most things in homicide cases do not add up. at some point, during the ride, I did not feel like Reading the file anymore. but I didn't know what else to do. my eyes started to wander and landed on Aron’s face. he was a very handsome man. He had Brown soft hair And sharp facial features. good boy although while he was sleeping they look soft. he looked fragile. I wanted to touch his skin. I used to make him fall asleep by running my fingers gently over his face and hair. But then I look away. I should not be having these urges to touch him or to be with him. I don't deserve him. he's always been good to me and I have done nothing but hurt him. He deserves better than me. Yet I can't help but want his touch. I turn and reach out to touch his face and that's when his eyes flutter open. I freeze and he moves slowly And starts to grab my hand. I but jerk it away quickly And turn the other way. I am sitting by the window so I can see his reflection. he looks hurt. he always looks hurt. I close my eyes and say “I'm going to try to sleep now”. Surprisingly, I drift off to sleep pretty quickly.

I turned to look at Aaron. he looks at me and I say “I miss you so much”. he looks at me confused but happy. “does this mean you still love me?” he asked me. “I have always loved you,” I told him. I reach out my hand and touch his face. he rubs his cheek on the palm of my hand and he stops and looks into my eyes. “I missed you so much Amira,” he says and starts to cry. this makes my heart hurt. I put my other hand on his other cheek and I bring his face closer to mine and we kiss. there were frustration and happiness, but it was mostly longing to linger in the kiss. when we break our kiss we look at each other's eyes in a smile. 

I wake up suddenly because the train had stopped. Erin is looking at me, but his gaze is not the one I feel lingering. I peek over the seats and see another pair of eyes staring into mine.