Unnoticed

Entry 009

I sighed when I remembered his friggin’ cheesy line when we were in the grocery. That man is so mean! I almost fell for his words. I could have believed him. If not for his funny snort and his lame line that says: Joke.

So, that was all a joke. And it freaked me out. What if he never added the joke word? Would I be able to sleep last night? Would I still be casual when I’m with him?

No, never. Because never in my life did a boy told me that he cared for me. And it would really freak the hell out of me if what he said was real.

At least, it wasn’t real. But no matter how hard I denied it, at the back of my head, I also wanted it to be real. But what could I do? I couldn’t force someone who just met me days ago to fall head over heels in love with me, right?

I sighed again and concentrated my thoughts on the equations in front of me. I couldn’t even answer those simple problems in this textbook. I hate this! Back in my lone days, I could answer this without thinking thoroughly. And now, I just couldn’t.

I lie in my bed for the nth time and stared at the ceiling, trying to decipher the reasons why my life sucks.

One, I have very unsupportive parents.

Two, I am leaving alone in a boarding house.

Three, I never had a social life.

Four, I never had my first kiss.

Five, I never had a boyfriend.

And I never had Din—what the heck? Even my mind was being corrupted by his thoughts!

I stood up and instantly opened my door to run away from this place and get a decent breathing space but I stopped when I saw Dino standing in front of me.

“Where are you going?” he queried.

“Somewhere, where I can breathe,” my voice quivered when I said those words. What now? Even your whole presence makes me shudder?

“Why are you so lucky? Because I just know where that perfect place is!”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my room. We rode a bus, he paid the conductor, he was smiling so wildly and all I could do was to look at him with wonder. Why was he so hyper?

The travel was almost one hour and the bus stopped in front of wide grassland. He gently squeezed my hand when we finally reach a bench. We sat there in silence.

“Close your eyes,” he ordered.

“What?”

“Just do what I said, you wanted to relax, right?” he muttered. There’s no point in arguing anymore. Even though I don’t want to be with him because his very thoughts were the ones that were polluting my mind, he had this gift that makes me feel calm. And so I nodded and do what he said.

“Now, breathe.”

I breathed, trying to forget everything, every worry, fears, sadness, hatred, everything.

“Just open your eyes when I finally say so, okay?”

It was very silent. I could even the chirping of the birds, the buzz of the insects, the croak of the frogs, the beep of the cars passing by and even this wild beat inside of my chest. I tried concentrating, and there, I heard his rhythmic breathing. I smiled and I don’t know why.

“Now, open your eyes.”

I slowly opened my eyes and took a glance of my surrounding but my eyes blinked in wonder when I saw millions of stars shining brightly in the night sky. It was majestic. I always loved star-gazing. Whenever I go to sleep, I always see to it that I was able to look at the stars. But this whole scene in front of me was very different. The stars were more visible, brighter and colorful.

“It’s…it’s beautiful.”

“How nostalgic,” he trailed off. I looked at his face and I saw something, perhaps longing for something that I have no idea.

“What?”

“Once, I was here with a girl, but that girl…she doesn’t remember me anymore.”