Unnoticed

Entry 012

Yesterday was the most unforgettable day and night of my life. As I wrote this entry, I couldn’t stop myself from reminiscing what had happened yesterday.

Yesterday morning, my blood drained when my phone rang in the middle of the class. I never expected any call from anyone so I never turned it into silent mode, ever. It was the first time that someone called me. Being the awkward me, no one dared to call or even contact me. Of course, what would they get from me? An awkward reply!

Despite the shock, I grabbed the phone and excuse myself from the class. When I finally went out of the room, I answered the bleeping machine.

“We received your application. Please come by at the office tomorrow, we’re longing to hear your voice. Bye!”

Though it was just a brief message, my heart beats became faster. I never submitted anything, who must be the intruder who submitted an application for me?

When I came home, the answer was right in front of me. With his fake amused expression and a funny snort, I finally knew that it was him.

“You moron! Why did yo—“ I wasn’t able to finish my words because he already cut me out.

“Because I know, you’ll pass it. You deserve the spot, Hush. Believe me, that spot is yours.”

“I won’t sing there, no. Not tomorrow, not ever!” I shouted. He just gave me an ill-mannered laugh and pinched my nose, the way he used to do since I don’t know when.

It just felt familiar, the simple act of pinching my nose. His scent, his smiles, his voice, and even his very presence is too familiar as if it had been a part of my lifestyle ever since. They all seemed familiar to me as if I’d been with him. It seemed as if I already get along with him for a very long time.

I winced and sighed. By the looks of him and his weird expression, I came to realize that he won’t let this day end without promising to him that I would sing.

He then took a hold of my hand and pulled me out of the building. We passed the street, half-running. I didn’t know where he would bring me but I finally got an idea that it was the grocery store. He grabbed bottles of liquor and beer. He also got some chips and junk food. After that, he headed to the cashier, and still, for the record, he was holding my hand.

I felt myself blushed. No, I shouldn’t blush in front of me. But what could I do?

“Where’s your card?” he muttered. I squeezed my eyes and gave him an unnerving stare. What? He’ll drag me in this grocery, and grab all the alcohol he had in mind and now, he’s going to let me pay for all of this?

What the heck?

“Why?”

“I forgot to bring my wallet, so give me your card. I’ll pay you when we go home,” he simply replied. And with that, I fished my card in my bag and handed it to him. He just nodded and put the card on the cashier’s hand proudly.

After the shopping galore, we then rode a bus. He told the bus conductor where we’re going and gave the old man a hundred peso bill. When we reached the wide grassland, he ran like he never had a company, leaving me with the bags of alcohol in my hand.

When he finally contemplated that he actually had a companion, he came back running and for the nth time, held my hand. What’s wrong with him? He could just usher me or just put a hand on the small of my back or even in my shoulder. And why am I even tolerating this?

It’s because…I don’t know. Come to think of it, I’ve been tolerating his weird acts ever since. I’m not even saying no. And why was that? Did he already break my defenses?

Ugh, this man.

We started drinking, him with the gin and me, a beer. Good thing, he had the nerve to pick something to drink for me. We just drink like there’s no tomorrow. He would occasionally talk about his lost love, how they used to date, their unforgettable moments. He talked about almost everything. And inside of me, there’s this growing feeling that I’m starting to hate his lost girl.

And I don’t know why.

When we finished drinking, I was already tipsy but I couldn’t even recognize any signs of him being drunk. His voice was still the same, no slurring or gurgling sound. His walk was still straight. Everything in him seemed normal. We went home hand in hand, and I love it.

Yes, I don’t know why.

I said my goodbye to him when I reached the door of my room but he stopped me and then opened the door for me after snatching the key from me. He ushered me to my room and let me lie down in bed. He covered me with the blanket. I thought, he was about to leave me but he spoke.

“Promise me, you’re going to join that band.” His voice was close to a whisper. I shook my head, why do I have to join that band? No one wants to hear my voice.

“I don’t want to,” I uttered. He pinched my nose again and smiled.

“You will, promise me,” he commanded.

“If I’m going to sing there, you have to sing for me.” I smiled naughtily, he wouldn’t sing for me so I don’t have to sing too. Why am I even acting like this? Nonetheless, I might still use this scheme. It might work, who knows.

“Fine. But promise me, you will sing for them.”

My eyes grew bigger with what he said. What the heck was wrong with him? Why was it too important for him to make me sing and join the band?

With that, I wrinkled my nose and waited for him to sing. It took him minutes to start but when he started putting those beautiful words into music, I was lost in euphoria. His voice was too beautiful in my ears, that hearing his very voice made me catch a glimpse of heaven.

How many times do I have to tell you?

Even when you’re crying, you’re beautiful too.

The world is beating you down,

I’m around through every mood.

I couldn’t understand him, couldn’t understand myself either. The song was getting on my nerves, entering my mind and soul, and then trailing its way down to my heart. I felt like the song was for me. And yes, I am such a fool to assume.

You’re my downfall, you’re my muse.

My worst distraction, my rhythm, and blues

I can’t stop singing,

It’s ringing in my head for you.

His eyes were trained on me. And as I close my own eyes, I knew I smiled. His voice was too angelic. He was giving me a chance of heaven, a chance of calmness. And as the words trailed off, I felt happy and giddy inside. Yes, I’m claiming it. His song was for me, me alone.

‘Cause of all me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

But just as I was all so ready to believe that it was mine, cold beads of sweat began trickling from my forehead. The truth was right in front of me, that song wasn’t for me, it was for her. I’m just too stubborn to believe it. But I wanted it to be mine. And yes, I’m crazy.

Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose, I’m winning

‘Cause I give you all of me

And give me all of you, oh

But…his voice was just too hypnotizing. I was already drifting off to sleep. I could still hear his words in my ears. And I hate to admit this but his last verse told me that it was mine. Fool or even call me stupid but it’s just that, my head believed in his song.

I knew I was already half asleep. I don’t know if it was real, or was it just a dream when he whispered words to my ear.

“I already gave my all to you. Will you give your all to me?”

The next thing I knew, it was already morning. There was no trace of him. The only thing that makes me believe that everything that happened yesterday was real was my headache, a hangover.

Was it real? His last words? Or was it just a part of my dream?