Unnoticed

Entry 016

I woke up with my puffy eyes, tear-stained face and swollen lips.

I wonder why I looked like a full-time mess. I never cried about anyone or anything. I never cried when Mom and Dad finally stopped trying to be a part of my life. I never cried when people around me treated me like an invisible i***t. I never cried when I received a failing grade in my favorite subject. I never cried in all the failures and mishaps in my life. And yet, I cried all night just because of this know-it-all who kept on interfering with my life and told me how wrong I was for pushing everyone away.

I stood up and I felt light-headed which made me choose the only option which was to lie in my bed and don’t go to school. I can't face anyone, especially the people from my school. I have enough of this. I just wanted to spare myself from shame, I just want to be away from their scornful looks and cover myself with my blanket. Because here, I know that no one’s judging me.

How I wished that this was all just a dream, that I never auditioned, that I never met Dino. I closed my eyes and twisted my fingers, breathed rhythmically and silently wished. But the moment I opened my eyes, I was exposed to the reality that I was wishing for something that couldn’t and wouldn’t happen.