My Husband Or My Mate

CHAPTER 002

Ryan’s expression is frozen as he stares at me, waiting for me to speak.

I swallow hard, choosing my words carefully. “I indeed opened the file and read it before I knew what it was—but I promise I’m not a spy. I just—I just happen to mistakenly glance at it. I felt it was important and crucial to the pack so I brought it here immediately.”

The hall breaks into whispers and murmurs. Ryan closes his eyes as if it was the end. And only the Alpha’s gaze is still trained on me, quietly, until he speaks again.

“And what do you think of everything you’ve read here?”

My eyes narrow on the Alpha, wondering what he is trying to do. Why is he asking me that?

“Answer me honestly, Leila.” He urges, and I find myself taking in two breaths and two steps forward.

“I think that there is a way.” I start, “According to the content of the file, the pack is preparing its defense against the Skyglade pack but what if…” I meet the Alpha’s searing gaze before I continue. “What if that’s what they’ve wanted all along? For the Emberhowl to attack first. The Emberhowl will be accused of breaking the existing treaty between us and if this is brought to the King, we’ll be deemed the villains. The Skyglade pack will be able to claim half of our territory just like the treaty commands.”

“Are you saying that we should sit back and watch the Skyglade pack take what is ours because we are afraid of the treaty?” One person stands, seeming displeased by my answer.

“No.” I smile softly. “The Skyglade pack has always attacked us sneakily. Why do you think they do that? Because no one else can know. Let me guess, there’s no evidence that it’s them behind the attacks but you know the true culprit yourselves. If this is the case, then the Skyglade pack is trying to play us by provoking us to attack first, thereby, breaking the treaty between us.”

“Wisely said.” The Alpha says before any of them could object again. His eyes narrow on me. “How do you know all of that?”

“It was obvious.” I shrug and he begins to clap.

The others seem confused but they join him, and begin to clap too. It was awkward and strange.

“You have a fine wife, Ryan.” The Alpha says and Ryan forces a smile and throws a glance my way. Finally, I am allowed to leave and as I turn around, I can’t help but feel his gaze burning into my back. Not Ryan’s gaze, or the others. But the Alpha’s gaze.

If the other’s didn’t notice anything, then Ryan must’ve.

I arrive at home feeling more exhausted than I should have. The whole day has been a rollercoaster ride. And the highlight of it, is me finding my mate.

My heart still shakes at the thought. I and Ryan have chosen each other as fated mates a year ago. We were in love and since we passed nineteen and didn’t find our mates, we thought we were meant for each other, but today…

What am I going to do?

‘What do you mean? We have to go to our mate.’ Dina tells me and I sigh.

‘This might be nothing to you but it’s not that easy okay? I’m married to Ryan and my mate happens to be his Alpha. Our Alpha. This is so messed up.’

‘It’s only messed up if you think it is. Divorce Ryan and let’s go be with our mate.”

I shake my head slowly. “That’s not happening. I love Ryan.’

‘Yes, I can see.’ She rolls her eyes and I sigh again, pinching my fingers.

Ryan arrives home late at night and I hurry to meet him at the door. He surprisingly grabs me and places a tender kiss on my forehead, breathing heavily as he pushes me against the wall.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again, Leila. What were you thinking?”

“I had no choice. I had to bring the file to you when I saw how important it was.”

“Don’t you know something like that can get you killed? You’re lucky today the Alpha didn’t punish you.” He pulls me close and takes in my scent like a drug.

I frown and pull away to look at him. “Is the Alpha so scary? Why does everyone fear him?”

“He is a beast, Leila. Pray never to meet him again.”

A beast? What does he mean by that?

I have so many questions, but I didn’t ask. Ryan also seems to not notice anything strange so I let it be. I don’t know what I am going to do about the Alpha being my mate, but for now, I want to enjoy the peace and quiet, and Ryan’s time.

I am still lost in my thoughts when Ryan claims my lips, kissing me wildly. His hands are roaming over my body possessively and a growl rumbles in his chest.

“I saw how that bastard was looking at you today, Leila. You’re mine. You know that right?”

“Wh-who was looking at me?” I ask, closing my eyes as Ryan kisses the spot behind my ears. I moan in pleasure.

“The Alpha. He was looking at you like he is coveting you. That’s all he does. He covets women who are not within his reach and later, he abandons them. But you’re not like that, are you? You belong to me.” Ryan pushes me into the bed. He kisses my neck, my breasts and trailed his tongue down to my belly button and whispers. “You belong only to me.”

I breathe heavily, eyes closed, head thrown back as he worshipped my body like he used to. But something is wrong. I push him away when I realize it.

“You’re drunk.” I can smell it on him clearly now, but Ryan was onto me again, pinning me down.

“Who cares? I want you, right now. I want to own you again.”

I push him away again and stand. Anger flashes in my eyes.

“You’ve not touched me in months, Ryan, but today, you suddenly want me because another man looked at me in the wrong way? And maybe because you’re drunk? Hah!” I scoff, and grab a pillow. I leave the room angrily, and move to the guest room.

I can’t believe him.

……

I turn and twist in the bed, unable to sleep. I keep glaring at the door, thinking Ryan will come to find me but nothing like that happens. I can’t understand him sometimes. One moment, he acts like he wants nothing to do with me and the next moment, he is acting like he is obsessed with me.

Am I reading too much into it? I wonder, just before falling asleep.

The next morning, Ryan is in the living room when I go out, all dressed up and ready to leave. I roll my eyes when I see him and go in to freshen up, but Ryan catches me in his arms, hugging me from behind.

“Still angry?” he whispers in my ear, and I shiver uncontrollably. He’s always had that effect on me.

“Do you want to tell me why?” I sigh.

“Why what?”

I pull away, staring at his confused look. “You really don’t know?”

“What are you talking about, Leila?”

“You’ve been avoiding me, Ryan.” I say, “And don’t even pretend like you don’t know anything about it. When was the last time you touched me? When was the last time you had an actual conversation with me? And yesterday…”

“I know. I’m sorry, Leila.” He sighs, regretfully. “The Alpha has been on my back. The security of the pack is under threat so we are always working extra hours. I come back exhausted each day. I can barely do anything other than sleep.”

My shoulders fall. All of a sudden I feel as if I haven’t been considerate enough. Its true Ryan has been working extra hours lately, and here I am, only concerned about myself.

I walk into his arms and his warmth envelopes me instantly. He kisses both of my cheeks and tells me how much he loves me. And then I watch him leave for work.

Somehow, the weight I have been carrying in my chest only gets heavier. I should tell him about my mate. Or maybe it is going to be better to take care of it quietly before he finds out. Ryan is a good man. And I won’t impose that kind of heartbreak upon him. So I make up my mind.

I’m going to reject the Alpha if I get another chance to meet him. After all, he doesn’t even seem like a good man.

‘You’ll not do that.” Dina tells me. ‘You can’t do that.’

‘I know this is going to affect us, Dina. But it’s the best thing to do.’

‘No. At least not now. You can reject him later when you are sure.”

‘What are you saying? We might not even get any chance to meet him again.’

‘If we do, do not reject him. Please.’

My heart breaks hearing Dina’s plea so I agree temporarily with her and just then, I hear the doorbell ring which is strange because no one ever comes here.

I open the door and see an unfamiliar man outside. He has a scar at the left side of his face, cutting over his eyes. Simply put, he looks dangerous, like a rogue thug but the scent he carries is ours so I relax a bit.

“Leila?” he calls, as if trying to confirm who I am and when I nod, he gives me a red card. “My name is Torren. Your Gamma. The Alpha has invited you to the pack house today to have dinner with him.”

My blood instantly runs cold. The Alpha is inviting me back to the packhouse? And for dinner? There’s definitely an agenda behind it.

I look at the strange man, and glance at the card again. “Can I… refuse?”

He gave me a look that says ‘obviously not.’

And I know that there’s no escaping this.