Flowers Wilt

The sky is cloudy, as though it too shares the darkness I feel inside. It casts a shadow over all the roads, trees, and houses. "Leia!" My younger brother's holler pulls me from my thoughts. "Dad needs your help," Nathan says as he barges into the room. "Nathan, there's this new thing. It's called knocking!" I gently tap my knuckles on the door a few times creating a knocking noise. "Dad said I could come in and get you." "Phillip is also a slob WHO CAN'T TAKE CARE OF ANYONE, let alone himself." I had said it just loud enough for him to hear some of the words I had said, eyeing the door before looking back to Nathan. "YOu lOuSY b***h!" Phillip had yelled from the living room. I rolled my eyes, sat Nathan on my bed, and placed headphones on his head, before turning and heading towards the living room, closing my door behind me. "What do you need, Phillip?" I did not address him as dad, he was farthest from a father. More like an alcoholic. Any paycheck he got he spent on alcohol or cocaine. He was never sober and I had to take care of Nathan and I. "I AM yoUR FaTHEr! YOu wiLL CalL And RESpecT Me as SUCh yOU mouTHY b***h!" "What did you need PHILLIP," I seethed, popping the "p" at the end. THWAK An open palm hit the side of my face, leaving my cheek red and hot. My eyes started to water but I held back my tears. "LeaRN sOME reSpeCT, Find ME The REMote. I'M siCK Of THIs cHanNel." I wanted to cry. Phillip had a beer belly and being this close, I could smell the booze, I could see the empty beer cans scattered everywhere. I dug through the couch, the coffee table drawers, before I seen it in his hand. "It's in your damn hand Phillip," I had pointed to his hand. I scurried back to my room to see my brother dancing on my bed with headphones loud enough for me to hear the music. He was listening to Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO. Odd choice for a 12-year-old. I unplugged the headphones, making the music play aloud, and making him notice I had returned. "LEIA!!" Nathan must've assumed I was trying to stop his music. I just jumped up onto the bed, turned the music up to full blast, and started dancing; making him dance again too. We shared a few laughs as we chanted the song at the top of our lungs. "PARTY ROCK IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT. EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME. AND WE GONNA MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND. WE JUST WANNA SEE YOU. SHAKE THAT. EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLIN'." We both flop down on the bed giggling as the song ends. "Leia?" Nathan asks me. "What's up bud?" I ask with a smile plastered on my face. "Why's your cheek red?" I know he can see the red mark on my face, he isn't blind. "It's just from us jumping around and dancing on the bed. Don't worry about it." I know he knows. He knows Phillip's habits. I try so hard to protect him from it but I'm not always home. Phillip never hits him, actually. Phillip views Nathan as the golden child. Nathan can do no wrong, even though he always does. Nathan sees the bad habits Phillip has and goes and does the same things. I just want what's best for my brother. "I don't want you to worry. Nothing is wrong, Phillip is just drunk. Plus you're his favorite!" I reassure him, pulling him into a hug. The alarm clock on the side of my bed displays 10:57 PM. "Go get ready for bed you little s**t, school tomorrow, and you're going!" "Come on Leia!! You always skip!" "That's to provide for you, somebodies gotta take care of us." Nathan sighs and stands from the bed, walking out and closing the door behind him. I hurriedly check my phone to see a missed call from my best friend Jaclyn. *You have 1 new voicemail. To play this messa-* I don't let it finish as I press 1 to hear the voicemail Jaclyn had left. "Hey, bestie! I was just calling to see if you were going to be here tomorrow. By 'here' I mean at school, not skipping. Anyways text or call me later. Byeeeee I love you!" *To play this message ag-* I press 7, deleting the message from my phone. I think for a long minute before opening our messages. I stare blankly at the bright screen trying to come up with words to say to her. My thumbs start tapping way faster than my brain is able to understand what I'm typing myself. *< Jaclyn ? * 10:59PM Hey J. Just sending this message to let you know I will be going to school tm * * It took a couple minutes for her to respond. *< Jaclyn ? * 11:03PM Wonderful news L. Can't wait for tm, goodnight. * * I tossed my phone on the bed as I stood to change into some pajamas. I open the second drawer of my oak wood dresser and pick out a black pair of silk pants with a matching black button-up silk top with white buttons. I bring the clothes with me as I walk to the bathroom to change. The reflection that stares back at me looks exhausted. Dark brown hair loosely tied into a bun, the glasses almost falling off my nose. My green eyes are dull yet full of contrast. I look away from the mirror as my insecurities start eating me alive, changing quickly and running back into my room with my dirty clothes. I toss my clothes into the hamper by the window, turn my light off, and jump onto the bed. I pick my phone up only to place it on my nightstand. I look at the alarm clock again as I set the alarm and it says 11:19PM. Time is flying but no matter how exhausted I am, I can never fall asleep as quickly as I'd like to. Zzzzz I can hear Phillip snoring from the couch. Each night it keeps me awake for hours. I stare at the ceiling, hoping to doze off into a deep sleep. I can feel my eyes getting heavier as I take a yawn before I keep them closed for good tonight.