Mate I never wanted

I’m so tired of all this

Vivian

"Do not ignore me!"

He said in a raised tone, sounding very frustrated and probably even angry.

When I did not answer him, after a few moments, he started to speak again.

"Darling, why do you smell of those two men?"

His voice was a bit quieter now, but it was still pushing me for answers that I did not want to give.

I had no energy to explain to him that I was cornered for his secret, especially when he would cause a scene, say that my efforts were stupid and that he wanted the whole world to know who I was. Exhaustion mixed with annoyance at the sudden interrogation by him, after I had just promised to give all of my money, just to keep him safe, after he messed up and declared publicly that he was my mate after the countless times I begged him to stop. There was no stopping the build up, and so I snapped.

"Because I f****d both of them, is that what you want to hear?"

Shock was an understatement of the expression on his face. Instantly, it turned into a sad teary look that then turned in complete pain that shot right into my chest. I regretted my words the moment they left my mouth.

"Lucien..."

He stared at me just shaking his head as he bolted out of the room. Despite our weak bond, I could still feel the pain of betrayal he felt at my words.

"SHIT."

I swore louder than I expected the moment Rebecca walked into the room. It looked like she wanted to ask me something, but I knew that I had to go after him. His heat still lingered in him and the rejection he felt from his words would most definitely hurt him to the point where he could even get sick.

So I just shook my head and followed him out of the room.

Surprisingly, even in complete emotional pain, with his heat still lingering in his body, so I could track his scent quite easily, but he moved fast. I had to use all of my senses to track him down.

Folling his smell, I made turn after turn in this damn maze of corridors. At this point, I no longer knew where I was or even where he was going. When I first left my room, I hoped that he would go back to his room, but now I was sure that we were almost on the other side of the base. So I had no other choice, but just to follow him.

After tuning for what felt like hours, his scent was finally getting stronger, and I knew that I was getting closer.

I climbed a seriously steep set of stairs and stopped behind a heavy metal door that led to wherever he had gone. Standing here, right now, I knew that he was on the other side.

"Lucien?"

I called out softly this time, but there was no answer to my words. If not for the sure feeling that I had in my chest, I would have thought that I was wrong about him being there. But everything in me told me that he was here... and so I trusted that feeling. So I knocked one more time and called out to him one more time.

"Lucien, please... I know that you are there... please let me in..."

This time I heard a little sound of sniffling from the other side.

Shit, he was crying.

"Lucien, baby... please let me in..."

I tried again and this time, after another sniffling sound, I heard him move. After a few more moments, the doors in front of me opened.

On the other side I saw him standing there, looking completely broken. Everything in me screamed that I had to go inside and soothe all of that pain. There was no controlling this urge and need, so I ran inside and pulled him into my arms. At first, he tried to fight me, to push me off, but a moment later he broke down into more tears as his body sacked against mine.

"Why... how..."

His voice was barely understandable over all the crying, but I knew what he was saying...

Why would you cheat one me?

How could you do this?

"We are mates... I thought that... that you loved me..."

The defeat in his voice was so heartbreaking that I had no choice but to stop him.

"Lucien... baby, no. Nothing happened."

He lifted his head from my chest, staring at me with his eyes filled with tears.

"What?"

The question was barely a real sound, but I reached out to wipe the tears from his eyes as I answered him.

"I did not have s*x with them, nothing like that happened."

Completely confused by my words, he blinked a few times.

"But... but you said... the smell..."

I just shook my head, stopping him.

"Nothing happened, I just passed them in the halls on the way to my room and their scents must have lingered on my clothing."

I decided to keep the part about Mathew threatening to out him a secret for now. It is clear that he is in no condition for handling news like that.

He blinked a few more times, still looking completely confused at what had happened, but the tears had stopped rolling down his cheeks and so I took it as a good sign.

"Sorry, I lied."

"What? Why would you lie about such a thing?"

Seeing that he was back to normal on some level, the adrenaline from his emotional reaction and the previous exhaustion returned.

"I'm sorry, the exhaustion from the last few days and all the missions was getting to me and then..."

The part about dealing with the blackmail almost slipped me, but I managed to stop myself at the last moment. Telling him that now would either make him angry, and he would go after Mathew, which in return would cause a very big scene and that would be very, very bad. Or he would break down again, and I had no more energy to deal with either of those outcomes. So, instead, I just told him part of the truth.

"And then I came back to you accusing me of stupid things... and I don't know... I just snapped. I know that this is not a good enough excuse..."

Lucien released a whinny sound from somewhere deep in his chest as he moved up, pulling me into his chest. He just held me for a moment and I felt all the pent-up exhaustion relax in my body.

"I'm sorry about the accusation... I should have thought before I attacked you... but when I smelled them on you... I just couldn't... the idea of either of them laying a hand on you, it makes my blood boil."

Slowly, he lowered us both to the ground, and he positioned us so that I was lying on top of his chest. His steady heartbeat was under my ear and it was so relaxing. My mind started to drift a little. Moments later, I felt his gentle hand petting my hair as I relaxed even more. My eyes became heavier and heavier.

"Where are we?"

I asked as it was clear that the conversation about that little misunderstanding was over.

"This is my hiding place in this station."

"Your hiding place? Why would you need a hiding place here?"

He took a deep breath and I opened my heavy eyes. He was not looking at me but up, so I followed his gaze.

Now that both of our emotions were down to normal, I could look around the room we were in.

This was clearly one of the lounges in the station. There was a sofa on the side of the room. Next to it stood a low metal coffee table. Slowly, my eyes followed his and I saw what he was looking at. It was a beautiful widow to the outer space right in front of us. You could see stars and other planets in the darkness of outer space... it looked magical.

"When I came here the first time... the training and the tests... they did not go as well as yours did..."

The sad undertones in his voice made my stomach turn.

"What do you mean?"

I asked, suddenly feeling a lot more awake.