letters to no one

The Rock Show

When it came to planning to go to the show, of course there was no question. Joel was in. He was always up for pretty much anything.

By the next week, we had pretty much decided who all was going. Josh and I were going to order our tickets offline, while Kenny was ordering for everyone else. Joel went ahead and gave Kenny the money for his ticket while we were all hanging out at Dunkin Donuts. We did that sometimes. It gave everyone a chance to sober up before driving home. Then I heard Michaela say something that really surprised me. She asked him if he could pay for her ticket and then take the money out of her bank account the next day. That was news to me. Up until just recently they had shared a bank account. After all, why have separate accounts when all of the money is coming from the same person. Michaela still hadn’t found a new job.

Joel and I kind of hung behind everyone as they went inside to get their coffee. I looked at him and said, “Feel free to tell me that it’s none of my business, but since when do you guys have separate accounts?” He looked at me for a second and then told me that he had opened up another account for Michaela to keep track of the money she was spending. He felt she was using more money than she really needed and he was tired of paying for it. He also told me that he was pretty much over having to support her all of the time, and that as soon as she found a job and paid him back he was going to leave her. I wasn’t really surprised. It was no secret that he had been unhappy for a long time. Steve told me later that night that Joel had been unhappy with Michaela ever since he had known them, and that he was just surprised it had taken him this long to look for an excuse to leave.

Michaela came outside to see what was taking him so long to come inside. I told her I had slowed down some because my feet were hurting. She just laughed and made a comment about how Joel might have to carry me inside. Joel knelt down like he expected me to climb on his back. I just laughed and told him, “I am way too big for that.” He rolled his eyes at me. Then he came over and picked me up. I hate being picked up. Aside from my fear of heights, I’m always worried that I’m gonna get dropped on my butt. He put me down and crouched again, this time I put my arms around his neck and leaned across his back. I guess he had forgotten how much beer he drank, because he almost fell over. I started laughing, so he shut me up by picking me up anyway and carrying me inside. Josh was not too pleased. I caught a lot of hell for it on the way home.

Over the next few weeks we made plans for the rock show. It didn’t really make sense for all of us to drive, so we decided to carpool. My house is the closest to the city, so we all decided to meet there. The plan was for everyone to meet at my place, where I would make us all breakfast, and then just take two or three cars. I got everything I needed to make pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausage for breakfast. Everyone was going to meet at the house at nine, we were going to eat and leave. I was taking us into the city by way of back roads so we could avoid tolls and traffic.

It was a good plan, but of course, everyone showed up late. The only people who got there at nine were Michaela and Joel. Everything was done but the eggs. My plan was to make everyone’s eggs the way they wanted them as they came in. Joel was sitting on the floor playing with the dogs, which was odd because one of my dogs usually takes a long time to get used to people. He was the first person I had ever seen her warm up to immediately. We were finally ready to roll around eleven. We were taking Josh's car and Michaela and Joel were riding with us. Steve was taking his car, with himself, Matt, and Rory. Aaron was taking Dallas with him in his truck. Kenny had decided not to go after all, which was kind of ironic since the whole thing had been his idea in the first place.

The ride to the city was very stressful. I was trying to give Josh directions and he kept ignoring me. Michaela was in the backseat controlling the music, and Joel was being unnaturally quiet. I tried to tell Josh to slow down a few times, because I wanted to make sure Aaron and Steve could keep up. Finally, Josh snapped and started yelling for me to stop telling him what to do. He said if I wasn’t telling him where to turn I should just be quiet, because he knew how to drive. When he said that, I felt something dig into my shoulder. When I turned to look, I notice that Joel’s hand was clenched into a fist and gripping the back of my seat so hard that his knuckles were white.

Interesting. Apparently Joel had a protective side.

Right after that Steve called to let Josh know he needed to stop for gas.

When we finally found a gas station, Josh turned in way too fast, despite my warning for him to slow down. We felt something hit the bottom of the car. When we got to the gas station, I decided to stay in the car, I was in no mood to be yelled at again. Michaela and Josh went inside the store, but Joel opted to stay in the car with me. I often wonder what all was said between them. I'm sure they were going on about how awful I was being, but whatever.

Once the door had closed behind Josh, Joel put his hand on my shoulder. I turned around and he just asked me if I was ok. I just nodded, I didn’t trust myself to say anything because at that point I honestly felt like crying. Joel started playing with my hair and old me that he had never wanted to hit someone as badly as he wanted to hit Josh just then. I told him that it was no big deal, Josh just didn’t deal with stress very well. That pissed Joel off even more, he felt like I was making excuses for him. He just gritted his teeth and said, “If I ever hear him talk to you like that again he’ll be sorry. I would never treat you that way.” When Josh came back outside, he noticed that there was water running under the car, so I go out to help him check if everything was alright. As it turned out , it was just from the air conditioner. Soon we were on our way again. When we pulled up to the fairgrpunds where thenshow was being held, they were announcing Halestorm. I knew there was no way we were going to make it inside in time to see her perform, which really annoyed me. She was one of my favorite artisis performing that day. We sold our extra ticket to someone at the gate, and then waited in line to go in.