The Lawyer's Wife

Gonna Miss This: I gazed upon the calm, soothing ocean from my two story genish style home. As I stood upon the blue stained wooden deck of my wonderful house the scent of blueberry muffins filled my nostrils with an oh-so intense feeling of pleasure. I stepped back inside and felt the lush piece of carpet curl between my toes. I traipsed into the kitchen to open the oven and take out the sickly-sweet blueberry muffins. As I reached my hands into the oven my husband entered the house smelling of the Giorgio Armani cologne that he always wore to his “special” meetings in the courthouse. He was a lawyer who had just graduated from the University of British Columbia law and landed a position before he had even commenced into the joys of student debt. He threw down his paperwork that his maniacal boss, who never enjoyed work, gave him as some post-education homework. As the papers hit our quartz-style island I noticed that I had completely forgotten about the blueberry muffins that I was retrieving from the hot oven. I pulled out the muffins and laid them on the stove top to cool. My husband edged his bulky hands closer and closer to the scalding hot tray and I gently smacked his wrist with my soft, youthful hands. We both shared a good-hearted laugh. “How was your day?” I asked my husband with genuine interest. Just as I was ready for his usual 5-hour descriptive explanation of his typical workday he let me down. “Good, thanks. Yours?” That shocked me, he was acting weird. He didn’t kiss me on the lips softly like he typically does when he enters the house. He just threw down his papers and expected me to pick them up. I’ve never felt so unappreciated. “My day was good,” I said nonchalantly in just the same way he had. My day was actually good, my first case was picked up by my boss today at the child and family services office I work at, but I wasn’t telling Brad that until he told me more about his day. I always thought I was quite stubborn when I wanted to be, maybe that’s just a sign that I’m aging. My mom always said that the closer you get to becoming middle aged the more stubborn and unrelenting you become. I played out a silent argument in my head, to which I win. I scream snide remarks toward him until he quiets down. I get into his personal space and have him bump up against a cupboard until he winces from the forceful closeness. He keeps repeating sorry until it is such a nuisance of a word. I finally win the argument by asserting my dominance, pointing out how many court cases he loses and how many I win because I should have been the lawyer, and him the person behind the desk; making sure he gets home fast enough to cook dinner. The blueberry muffins were cool enough for me to grab one. I walked over to the tray, picked up one and sunk my teeth into the golden, moist, baked good. As I ate my perfectly made muffin I looked intently into Brads glazed over eyes. I tried to pry information from him without asking him anything. I failed at doing so because it was almost like he knew I was trying to pry. He didn’t have a good day, or at least that’s what I thought. “Brad?” “Yes, honey?” “How was your day, and this time go into more detail?” “My day was fine honey-“ “Quit calling me honey, say my name when you speak to me!” “Sorry, hon- Alice, my day was just fine, why should I have to talk about it?” “Because I asked you, that’s why. Why do you have such a problem talking about it?” “I don’t have time for this, I have to finish the paperwork for my boss.” “Go ahead and do that Brad, I’ll be here when you get your senses together and realize who you love more, your job or me! Oh, and by the way, tonight you are on the couch, enjoy sucking up to your boss with a bad back!” I threw my muffin down in the dog bowl and let my cocker spaniel purebred eat the remains. Our majestic cat came around the corner and mewed in my assumed victory. I walked down the stairs to my family room on the main floor and watched my red ear slider turtle perch on her rock and bask in the evening light. When did my life become so aggravating? Oh, I remember, the day I met Brad. I stared at the waterfall from my turtle’s tank as I recalled the day I met Brad. I sat down on my favorite bench at Thunderbird Park at the UBC campus. My iPod music was on shuffle and I had my earphones jammed so far in my ears. The song on the playlist was “I don’t need a man” by the Pussycat Dolls. As I think back it was sort of ironic that I met my future husband listening to that song. Right as they got to the “I don’t need a man” part I saw him. He was tall and had excellent posture. His walk was more on the proper side, unlike most of the undergraduates I saw; trudging as they rushed to their next class. No, he was so posh and sophisticated. He was thin because of balancing paychecks between tuition and food, but he also had some muscle definition from working out at the university gym. He wore a plain red shirt and had a black leather jacket slung over his shoulder. On his forearm, he had a bracelet that had 5 jade balls connected by one black rubber string. As he got closer I could see some lettering on his shirt. It read UBC Law. He was a law student. I knew right then and there that we wouldn’t be good for each other. He was a law student and me a silly anthropology student. He got closer and closer and regarded me as he passed. I got to see his facial features, he had gorgeous, gray eyes, and a slight baby face with full plump lips. He did a double take and turned toward me. He sat next to me on the bench. He gave me a lovely smile that made my heart melt. “Hi, I’m Brad.” “Alice”. I could barely iterate my name because I was too entranced in his grey eyes. The rest of our relationship was full of depressing dates on account of our university poorness, but a beautiful wedding that was planned by no other than me. I heard the mew of my all too familiar short-haired domestic, tortoise-shell-colored cat. She looked up at me like a kid about to ask, “Are you and daddy getting a divorce?” I would be lying if I said I hadn’t contemplated it once or twice. I looked down at my cat and answered her like I usually do, “No baby, we aren’t.” I picked her up and she made a meow as I pressed on her lungs, attempting to lift her. When she got up to my breasts she took her little, multi-colored paws and rested them on my shoulder ever so gently. I walked back upstairs to the kitchen and looked inside the dog bowl, it was completely empty. “At least someone enjoyed those muffins,” I said to myself. I passed my husband asleep on the couch. What is his deal? I walked into the master bedroom of the house and changed into my nightgown. I looked at the bed that Brad and I bought two years ago. It doesn’t compare to the one we had when we got married. I miss that bed. When we were looking for our first bed I brought my mother along to help us. We picked out an oak wood bed frame with a small headrest. At the time I said to my mother that it will do for a short time and I started talking about how our life was going to be in the future. I explained the huge house we were going to own on account of Brad being a lawyer. She looked at me and told me to slow down. She quoted me the song “You’re gonna’ miss this” by Trace Atkins. When I was at such a young age I never thought about it, but now that I’m more mature I understand what he is saying in the song. "You're gonna' miss this, you're gonna' want this back, you're gonna' wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast". Boy, do I miss those days. After my mini-existential crisis, I decided to catch some much-needed Z’s. I turned the television to the comedy network and fell asleep listening to the comedian’s vulgar jokes. I awoke the next morning and got out of bed grumpy. Never go to bed angry, I should listen to that advice, and yet I never do. The Land That God Hops Over: I walked out into the living room to find that Brad had left for the day. I had an hour until I had to be in for work. I undressed from my nightgown and hopped in my shower. After what seemed like a lengthy shower (which in actuality was a 5-minute rinse) I got dressed in my usual work uniform, black flats, black dress pants, a white flouncy top, and a black blazer. The clock read half-past eight so I left my beautiful, custom built house and got in my 2015 Cadillac LTS, that my stupid lawyer of a husband could afford, sometimes I want to know what it feels like to be underprivileged, I mean here I am, the epitome of a 2000's working women. Successful career, successful husband, I'm white, I have a relatively nice body, and yet I still feel like this shouldn't be my life, it should be the life of someone who really deserves it. Someone who doesn't mind removing or splitting up children from a family. I want to be the person who melds the families together, who stops the splitting up from happening, I want to be my husband, the lawyer, who helps people, doesn't hurt them. No, I don't want to be him, I want to be a stay-at-home wife, but not for him, for someone who will treat me properly. I pulled out of the driveway and started to drive on the street. I tried to be a responsible person and drive without thinking about what ensued last night. Brad just gets my blood boiling. I always hid it, always lied to myself, and told myself that he was the best thing that came into my life. Now I'm not so sure. As I drove I remembered back to the "good ol' days". The half of my life where Brad wasn't there to control me, run my life. One moment that always seemed to pop into my mind was the moment when I was at the young age of 15. I was working at the local movie theatre after my family had moved to Vancouver. Everyone saw Vancouver as beautiful, I saw it as the place where tiny businesses go to find a big customer base, only to find that after a year they've run their credit score into the mud and are back to square one. I was working one late night, it was a good night, the sky was cloudless and it was crisp and cool, my favorite type of night. One guest came up to my till he seemed nice enough. He said he was from Alberta. Some of my family were from Alberta so we got to conversing about the "Land of Open Skies". I mentioned the people from Lethbridge, or as he liked to say, "Big red man, big red woman". He told me "God doesn't reach this land, look at the people on the streets stricken with sickness, the people who won't help these poor defenseless people get back on their feet, they won't hire them for minimum wage jobs, they just ignore them." I was told by my workplace to never talk back to the guests. How I wanted to tell him how much he was wrong, but I didn't because I believed he was right. There are so many poor helpless people on the streets of Vancouver, that can't afford food, and accommodation, or even proper clothes. Some of these people commit crimes to go to jail, at least there they will have food to eat, and a bed to sleep in. I finally had the courage to say something back to him, however, what I said was not what I was expecting. "Sir, have you ever been to Vancouver Island?" He nodded his head and I knew exactly what to say to him. "You have seen its never-ending beauty then, surely sir you must believe that God may hop over the coastal plains, but he then lands on top of the insular mountains of Vancouver Island, where you don't have to pay 3 million dollars for an oceanfront house, not even apartment, house." He looked at me, right when I thought he was going to scream at me, he smiled, and slowly nodded his head "You miss will be a lovely person, I believe that you will get out of this land that God hops over, I believe that you will meet a lovely man who will treat you properly." I'm still waiting for the aforementioned man. However, I did get out of that land, shortly after that my parents gave me the wonderful news that they had invested in a business in Nanaimo, the harbor city. From that day on I have lived out my life in Nanaimo, except for the last two years of my university career, where I went to UBC. I reached my office with about 5 minutes to spare and traveled to the top floor. I passed Flora the secretary on my way to my office. I wasn't even sitting down for 5 minutes before someone came into my office. It was a man that looked handsome. His facial structure was that of a Greek's, he had fair olive colored skin. He had a chiseled face with gorgeous green eyes and big red lips. He had perfect big, and round shoulders. And a slender, muscled body. I stared for what seemed like a long time to me before he spoke. "I heard that you are the one that will be training me in my future career." I couldn't speak, so I just nodded my head. What was getting into me? I had a husband, a nice house and I was just ruining it by thinking about this random stranger whom I don't know and just waltzed into my office. I didn't want to think this way, but I think I found the man that may treat me properly. Abuse of the Heart, Body, and Mind: The rest of the day consisted of me teaching Chad (the newbie) the fundamentals of child welfare. He was so good. He knew exactly how to read into people's emotions, the eyes. That took me 2 years to learn. To read people's emotions you have to pay attention to their eyes, they say everything. You have to look into the person's eyes when they are talking, pay special attention to the pupils. If they are stressed or lying their pupils will get bigger, if they are telling the truth their pupils will stay normal, and if they are in love their pupils will shrink. I had Chad start with a fake house visit. During fake house visits, we bring in actors that get paid around 200 dollars per hour (which is more than I will ever make). The actors dressed in their best attire, the father was wearing a crisp, white button-up shirt with a navy blue blazer; he also wore matching navy blue dress slacks, with leather black shoes. The mother's attire consisted of a scarlet red dress that went from the top of her shoulders to the top of her knees, a pearl necklace, diamond earrings, and about three rings; a pure gold wedding band, a diamond engagement ring, and a gold anniversary ring encircled in diamonds. Finally, the four-year-old child wore cute blue jean overalls, which were on top of a white tee-shirt with a monkey on it, he also wore little blue baby booties. Chad sat down in his chair in front of the fake family with one leg crossed over the other. He started by asking them simple questions. "How has your day been?" "Our day has been good, we first went down to the coffee shop and got our little tyke here a nice hot chocolate and then we went for a nice stroll in the nearby park, it's so beautiful here isn't it," Said the husband with way too much detail that was needed. "That sounds very nice," continued Chad. "And do you know why I am here?" "Some people have accused us of harming our child," replied the mother whilst the husband gained a nervous sweat and started grinding his teeth together. "That is correct. Now I was just wondering if you have ever hit your son before." The husband's pupils started to grow in size as he answered the question. "Why would I ever want to hit my son, he is the love of my life, besides he would never do anything wrong, we know how to raise children." "And how do you raise him in the said proper manner?" "With positive reinforcement of course," said the wife as she chimed in. "and if he does something wrong we tell him to not do it again-" "Mommies lying," said the kid. "And how is mommy lying?" "Because when I break something of mommies she has daddy give me a kiss on the cheek with his fist, he says he does it because he loves me, that the first kisses are how he shows affection. What does affection mean?" Chad glared at the father. "Billy is just kidding." The father glared at his child. "He just watches too much 'Law and Order: SVU'." "And why do you let your child watch such mature shows?" "Because we don't believe in filters, let the child watch what he wants." Chad was turning red with anger. "So you let your child watch murder shows while you beat him; that sounds like a perfect situation to me." "I told you-" "I don't care what you told me, we need to remove your child from this toxic environment." The lights turned on and my supervisor came in. He smiled and congratulated Chad for his excellence. I held out my hand for him to shake. He gladly accepted, which marked the end of the workday. It ended earlier than expected. It was five o'clock when I left the building. The sun was slowly making its descent as I entered my car. The small white ball in the sky looked like it was perched on the top of the mountain. The sky was so cloudless that you could see all the oranges, yellows, reds, blues, and purples mixing in a concoction that could make an artist want to faint at all its splendor. I drove on my way home and when I ended up home I saw a tiny light on in the window of the master bedroom. I thought that was quite odd, but I just let it slide, maybe I left the T.V. on when I left accidentally. I walked to the front door and put my keys in the lock, only to realize that the door was unlocked. When I opened the door I heard a sound coming from the master bedroom. I grabbed the gigantic Bombay metal shoe horn that I owned and slowly crept up the stairs. When I came to the master bedroom door the noise quieted down, I quickly opened the door and saw him there, no them. There were two people under the covers in my bed. I held the shoehorn close to my chest and I ripped the covers off the bed. There sat my husband and some ugly w***e next to him in just their undergarments. I dropped the shoehorn to the ground and felt tears well up in my eyes. Anger enveloped me and I darted after the b***h that was hugging my husband. Before I could get close I was stopped by Brad. I pushed against him and the women screamed her head off. "Yeah scream b***h! Get ready to meet Alice, you may be scared now but just wait until I get a hold of your ugly bleached hair! What's with the hair by the way, do you plan to look like a hooker that just arrived off the street or are you too poor to afford to go to a salon and get those f*****g roots touched up! You better run b***h before I grab this shoehorn and shove it so far up your saggy, used t**t that you won't be able to walk for months!" "Alice that's enough!" Screamed my husband. He pushed me back so hard that I smacked the wall and cracked it. I ran up to him and tried to slap him but he grabbed my hand just as it was about to make contact with his cheek. He slapped me in the face before I could react. I went for his neck. He returned the move and pushed me up against the wall. He was choking me. I took my head and butted him. He screamed and back up to the bed. The w***e ran up to me and grabbed my hair. I scratched her with my long nails and drew blood. She screamed and flew out of the room with breakneck speed. I ran after her. Before I could catch her something grabbed me. My husband flipped me over and was on top of me. He proceeded to choke me again. "I always knew you wanted to secretly kill me, Brad, you were just waiting for the perfect moment to do it! Come on, finish what you meant to do, kill me! Kill me! Kill me! I can't live like this anymore! Just end it! Come on you wimp! KILL ME!" Brad loosened his grip so I kicked him in the soft spot. He fell to the ground crying. "Enjoy having children now ass hat! Enjoy burning in hell for doing this! Next time don't mess with Alice, and tell your w***e of a girlfriend of that! Oh, and by the way she won't be hearing the last from me!" I pointed toward the door and Brad got up to leave. Before he could leave I told him, "I'm in love with someone else too, and he treats me better." That wasn't the truth, I wasn't dating Chad because I knew how to be married. He got in the car as I slammed the door shut, I went to my room and cried myself to unconsciousness. An Odd Solution to an Odd Problem: I stayed in bed the entire weekend only getting up a couple times to feed my pets and walk my dog. I was a wreck. I spoke to my cat more than I usually did. I picked up the cat that was lying with me on the bed comforting me and also watching the cat show that she loved so much. "Well Majestic, Looks like I and daddy are getting a divorce." My cat just looked at me with what seemed to be a smile. She butted her head on mine affectionately and I gave her a kiss in between the ears. Just at that moment, there was a knock at the front door. I decided not to get up and ignore it. However, it didn't relent. Someone just kept rapping on the door with their heavy hand. I finally got up and answered the door. I didn't like who was standing there. It was Brad. "What, came back for round two?" I asked him. "Just came to grab my phone-" "Ooooh, that's going to be a problem." "Why?" "Because I may have thrown it out the window and laughed as it smacked against the concrete," I said as I tried to hold back a smile. "You what!?" "Yeah, what are you going to do about it, call that ugly w***e?" "My entire caseload was on there, I could lose my job!" "Good, something else that will make me feel even greater about myself." "You unimaginable bitch." "Call me that again and I will not refuse to call the cops." "Ok, then I'll just show them the bruises that you gave me." "Well, then I'll return the favor." "What is your problem?" "My problem is that I found you last night having s*x with someone who clearly wasn't me!" "Which is completely your fault!" "My fault, how was it my fault?" "Because you never act nice around me anymore, you only care about your supervisor these days." "I could say the same thing about you! All you care about is work. Work this, work that. What about me? Why can't you take one day off of work to be with me? You want to be there all the time, not caring for me, caring for your boss!" "Have you ever thought that maybe I didn't love you anymore, that you could have ended it a long time ago! That I started to hate you, not love you. Why didn't you end it? WHY?" "Because I still loved you! I wanted to make it work! I wanted you to help me!" "But apparently you don't love me anymore!" He was referring to Chad. "Neither do you! Who do you love now? HUH? WHO? TELL ME?" "My boss! Mr. Flanagan, I love my boss!" I was taken aback, my ex-husband was gay, or bi, one of the two. "What?" "Yup Alice, I'm bi, took you long enough to figure it out." He ran out of the house crying as I just stood there, stunned. Why was my life turning out to be this way? One day here I am with a lawyer husband and the next a gay ex-husband. I got back into my room and flopped into my bed. I just sat there laughing, not crying, but laughing. For some reason, I found the entire situation hilarious. The next morning (Monday) I felt better than I ever could have felt. I did my usual morning routine and got in my car, this time I had no existential crisis, just joy. I was going to see Chad. I blasted the radio (which today was all music) and stuck my arm out the window and let it fly in the wind. As the radio blasted I sang boisterously to the song "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor. Out of this entire experience, some good came out of this. Like my brother always said, there is a good thing that comes out of everything. I can finally be with Chad without any problems. First, my husband cheated on me, then he turns out to be bisexual. What a perfect solution to my troubles. I passed Flora again at the office. "You look happy," she said as she regarded me. "What do you say to have a little girl's night tonight?" "I think that sounds good Alice. What's the occasion?" "Just celebrating my husband coming out." Flora laughed like it was just a normal thing that happened around the office. "Girl, sometimes you are really crazy." I think she thought I was just fooling her, was she ever wrong. I went to my office to find Chad had already been sitting there. "What are you doing here already?" "I was just excited to see my supervisor again." My heart skipped a beat, he was excited to see me. On today's agenda, we were to go to an actual house visit and assess if the child were in a good situation. Chad and I hopped into the government provided car and were off. Today we were going to Lantzville to a house that was reported to have parents that stayed up all night bickering screaming at each other, or at least that is what the neighbor reported. Chills on a Warm Night: About two weeks earlier the office had received the aforementioned call from the neighbors for the house that we were going to scope out. With the phone call that we received, we started a screening and pieced together the information. The child in this house had been subject to watching these two parents get in physical confrontations and sometimes the child would get in the middle. He was reported to like his mother more than his father and would help the mother in the confrontations. I found it quite odd that the neighbor would know that all this happened just from her window, but who am I to question. As I was thinking about the case that I had to form and the questions I had to ask Chad chose to speak. "So do you know what you are going to ask?" wondered Chad as he sunk into the car seat more. I turned down the music so it was easier for him to hear me answer the question. "I am going to mainly ask questions that pertain to the screening that we compiled." After more silence and listening to the radio we arrived at the house. Chad and I walked up to the cherry red front door and knocked. The mother opened the door in a beautiful sky blue dress. She invited us into the house and allowed us to look around, after taking our shoes off first of course; wouldn't want to dirty her perfectly white carpet. At first glance, the household didn't look in disarray. It was nice and clean. The rest of the family consisted of a father and a very mature looking daughter. The father wore his best work clothes, and the daughter wore what looked like very pretty church clothes. I and chad took the daughter into a separate room and started asking her questions. "How has your day been?" I asked as Chad observed, taking notes. "Also please ignore Chad, he is in training and will be taking notes." The daughter sat down and pulled her dress closer to her knees as she answered, "My day has been just fine." Her tone of voice and simplicity in the speech was all too familiar, it was going to be hard pull information from her. I crossed my legs as I asked her the next question, "It's good that your day has been going well," I said before I asked anything else. "So, we have been informed by an anonymous source that you get involved in physical confrontations between your parents." "I wonder who told you that." She said as she looked at me with straight eyes. She was withholding information from me, dodging my questions. "Do you love your parents?" I asked. "Of course I do, I love both my parents dearly." "Ok," I answered simplistically as I relaxed more in my chair. "Have you ever gotten in a school fight before?" I asked as I referred to my note sheet. "I have never gotten into a physical confrontation at school, nor do I ever plan to." I was done asking questions, she was being far too dodgy. From my previous notes that co-workers had given me, the parents seemed to love their daughter too much to hurt her. I thanked the daughter and let her go back to her family. As I went to stand Chad looked at me, "that's it?" he asked me. "Yes. I had no further questions." I walked over to the door and looked at the family embrace. "They obviously love their daughter too much to abuse her." I thanked the family for their time and left the room and the house. Chad walked to the door faster than me and opened the car door for me. I thanked him and climbed in the car. "Are you free after work tomorrow for a coffee, to get to know each other more?" he asked as we drove away from the house. "I am free tomorrow after work in fact." The Nanaimo office had few incidences of child abuse so for the rest of the day I had Chad look at past case files to see how the work of child welfare actually occurred. As the day marked five we were allowed to go home. Flora and I met at the small karaoke bar on Bowen road. People were dancing everywhere and singing to songs like "It's my life" or "Don't stop believing." I got a couple cosmos in my system and strutted on the dance scene. One guy came up to me and would stop marveling at my body. He noticed my slender midsection and fair skin. He favored my gorgeous blue eyes the most and also thought my sandy blonde hair was a plus. He also mentioned that he adored my plump red lips. I got tired of dancing and sat back down with Flora. She told me that one guy came up to her and liked her dark skin and brown eyes. He also noted that she was thin and had beautiful big eyelashes. "So tell me again Alice, your husband came to your house, came out to you, and all you could do was laugh!" she said as she got more comfortable in her seat. "That is exactly how I reacted." She just burst out laughing, with her usual chainsaw sounding laugh, which she said hurt her nasal passage. The rest of the night consisted of us making fun of the guys that hit on us and talking about Chad, about what big a crush I had on him. Flora wasn't surprised that I liked him, she said that she noticed it from the first day I walked out of the office after training him, smiling. I told her I was going to have a coffee date with him tomorrow and that I could actually see myself dating him in the future. The next day after work Chad and I headed to a Serious Coffee by the local bank and Costco. We sat down at a table and started talking. I told him about my youth, how I had lived in Nanaimo most of my life, moved to Vancouver. He told me that when he was young he lived in a city in Alberta called Red Deer. He said he loved it there. That he and his family ran paper routes to help pay for food and bills. He said they had a big house on the south side of town that was the most beautiful house that he had ever lived in, by which his mother had helped design. We just sat there talking about our pasts and then we came to the present. I told him about Brad and he found it just as funny as I had. At the end of the date, he said that he would like to do something like that again. I agreed. On the weekend Chad and I went on our second date. I was wearing a nice summer dress and then I felt this odd chill run down my spine. I looked around and didn't know ultimately what I was looking for. I hoped this date was going to go well. By the time Chad and I reached where we were going I was wearing his coat from the chills. It was so odd, it was never this cold in the summer, and yet I was having odd chills. Chad and I were seeing a movie at the local theatre and got into our comfy seats. Towards the end of the movie Chad slowly inched he hand close to mine. I turned my hand over and let him grab it. Our fingers intertwined and we looked at each other. He closed his eyes and pinched his face closer to me. Our lips touched in one swift movement and we held our face interlocked for what seemed for too short a time. The theatre lights turned on right as we pulled away from each other. It was truly loved. We walked out of the theatre hand in hand and finally parted as we hopped in our cars. When I arrived home I screamed like a little girl. He liked me back! He loved me back! That's it when I get to work the next day I was going to ask him to be mine. I awoke the next day and quickly got ready, hopped in my car and was off. I arrived at the office quickly and passed Flora with haste. I got into my office to notice that Chad wasn't there. I sat down and awaited his arrival. He never showed. Towards the end of the day of the day Flora popped into my office, "I have some unfortunate news... Chad got into a car accident last night. It was apparently really bad," said Flora as she choked back tears. "The doctors said that earlier today he passed on, oh Alice I'm so sorry." Flora burst out in tears and came to hug me. I wept into her shoulder, "I-I-I was going t-to t-tell him that I l-l-l-l-loved him. I wanted to be with him, I wanted just him; I didn't want some guy in a silly bar! I wanted him!" I sat there weeping and just couldn't stop. Why did all this have to happen to me? Why me? Why not someone who did wrong, why me? I took the rest of the week off to grieve, Chad's funeral was in two weeks. I only had one week with him, and then he got taken away from me. I heard my phone ring and decided to grab it. I flipped it open without looking at the I.D. "Hello, Alice. It's Brad." The Final Betrayal: Brad. I had all but forgotten about him in my recent events. What with work and Chad passing I repressed what Brad had done to me. Was I forgiving him? I am a good Christian lady, I may not go to church but I know my morals, and I had taken a lot of religious studies courses when I went to University. Jesus always said, learn to forgive and forget. Not just to forgive and not forget; but to do both, forgive and forget. Was this what I was doing? By not wanting to punch the wall at the slightest note or hint of Brad's voice; was I forgiving, and ultimately forgetting? I didn't want to punch a wall. I wanted to see Brad. I had forgiven him. Why hate him? I was thinking about Chad when I was still with Brad, what I was doing was lust in and of itself. I still loved Brad in the deep parts of my heart. I remembered back to our wedding. When I said I loved him and would be with him until death does us part. When I fell in love with Chad I had completely forgotten about that. I forgot about the wedding license. The giant smile on my mother's face when I said: "I do". How could I have given all that up? When I allowed Chad to come into my life in the way of love I was breaking the vow that I had made. I promised that I would never hurt Brad, or cheat on him. He may have cheated on me, but did he? He hadn't actually had s*x with her. Maybe we could work through our other problems after that. Some saw Chad as my knight in shining armor. Heck, I even saw him as that, but was he? He was the man that had to help pull me back up maybe, but would it have lasted? He and I were too similar. What do people always say, "Opposites attract"? Chad and I were too similar, but Brad and I weren't. We were the perfect dose of the opposite for each other. I was the more down to earth person, and he was larger than life, we balanced each other out perfectly. Chad was to down to earth himself. He didn't talk as much. I'm a listener, not a talker. I missed Brad and the way he spoke; the way he kissed me softly when he came into the house. He loved me too. He didn't hate me. I also missed the way that the room brightened when he walked into it. He just brought everyone's spirits up. I had completely forgotten that I was on the phone with Brad. "Hello? Alice?" he asked as he questioned if I were still there. "Sorry," I said as I brought myself out of my cavern deep thoughts. "I was just thinking." "Ok," he said as he continued the conversation. "I was just wondering if I could come over and grab my mother's antique champagne bucket." I could see the champagne bucket that he was referring to. It was sitting atop my antique wooden dining table in the dining room. The seats at the table were placed strategically so that everyone could see the ocean at some point during formal meals. The champagne bucket was silver with the words vive le Paris etched in black in a circular placement around the bucket. "Yes Brad, you can come over and grab it," I said as I stared at the bucket. "Wonderful, I'll be over in about an hour." With that, he ended the phone call Whilst I waited for Brad's arrival I made the place look nice. I straightened up the house by placing all the shoes in the shoe closet, and the big shoehorn in the umbrella stand. There was a knock on the door and I assumed it was Brad's arrival. My dog arrived at the door before I could. She barked because she thought it was a murderer. When I opened the door I greeted Brad and he walked in. he looked around at the house and complimented me for how nice it looked. He gave me his sideways smile that used to make my heart melt. Before he grabbed anything he and I looked around the house and reminisced. We looked in the formal living/dining room that we used when we enjoyed meals on special occasions. My favorite thing in the room is our nice couch. It was a medium sized couch with brown base fabric. Little bits of white, light brown, and dark brown waved around the couch. The little bits were embodied and made the couch pop more. We next entered the kitchen. My favorite part of the kitchen is our huge, circular wooden table. With a beautiful red tablecloth (which was impossible to find) lying atop it. I turned to look at Brad. "So, you came here to get the champagne bucket. I left it right there on the dining table, you can get it and leave fast if you want to." "What if I don't want to leave earlier?" he said as he inched closer to me. "Well, I guess I can't just outright say no to that," I said as I got closer to him myself. Our faces got closer and closer together. He was about to kiss me, and I was going to let him. He got closer, even closer before he could meet my lips he diverted and went to my ear, where he whispered in it. "I need you, Alice." "Oh. Alice, I also brought some wine. I heard about Chad, and I wanted to have a nice drink with you and just... talk." He said as he went close to his bag that he brought with him. I slowly nodded as I got closer to the window. I stared at the ocean and just thought, pondered, what life could be with Brad again. He wanted to be with me again as I saw it, and I wanted to be with him. I heard Brad come back into the room. I didn't turn around, I just kept my eyes on the ocean. I watched the waves go up and down. I could see a ferry docking into the terminal. It slowed down to what seemed like 3 km/h. It bobbed up and down like a cork for a couple of minutes, and then the ship's crew locked it into place. I heard the cork pop off the bottle of wine that Brad had said that he was bringing. I kept experiencing my usual mini existential crisis while I thought about Brad. I remembered back to the time that he proposed to me. I was the happiest person in the world. He got down on his one knee and pulled out a box. Inside was a beautiful ring that was gold with a singular 1 karat diamond glistening. It probably cost him a fortune. I looked down at my hand and I found that I had never taken my wedding rings off since I and Brad had the very first fight, when he wouldn't talk to me. "You know Brad, I've been thinking," I said as I heard the familiar glug, glug, glug as he poured wine into a glass. "I've been thinking that maybe we shouldn't have left each other. I forgive you, and I will forget what you did to me. "We have had an interesting life together, and I don't want to wreck it. I still want to be with you, I still love you." I said as I stayed staring at the ocean, not daring to turn around for I was too scared that he would have a disgusted look on his face and not agree with me. He didn't do that, in fact, he didn't say anything at all. Because he didn't answer me I just kept talking. "I think you should move back in. That you should ditch that foul woman, I know you don't actually love her." He finally spoke, "Alice, I-," his phone began to ring. "I have to take this, sorry." I finally turned around and saw him leave. I walked up to two glasses sitting on the wooden table. The glasses were filled with champagne. One glass was foaming over the edge a little bit. I didn't think it was too odd because Brad does usually over pour. I went to reach for a cloth napkin as I heard him come close to the kitchen. As I grabbed the napkin I hit the glass and some of the foam poured out. I moved the glasses so I could clean the mess up. Brad always made a mess of the kitchen, but I guess I will have to live with his quirks to be able to live with him. When Brad came back he grabbed the glass that contained more liquid, probably thinking that I had already taken a drink out of the other one. He looked at the glass for what seemed like a long time and then just let it be. I grabbed the other glass. "I think this is the perfect time to make a toast." Brad stopped me, "Alice, I wanted to say that I agree, we should be together again. I mean the divorce hasn't formally gone through yet. Again, I am so sorry about Chad, he seemed nice from what other people told me." That was quite odd. Who told him about Chad? The only thing I told him was that he was dating me at the time that he wasn't. Could Flora have told him? No, she couldn't have, she knew that if she had ever talked to him at that specific time in my life that I would have ripped her head off. As much as I found it odd that Brad would have known about Chad, I just let it be, he wasn't the most of my problems at the moment. "Brad, here's what I believe, Chad dying was nature's sign that we are still supposed to be together. Anyway, enough being morbid, let's toast." We both raised our glasses. "To us, for I believe that we are going to be together forever." We both took a big swig. I enjoyed the warm sensation of the alcohol flowing down my esophagus. Brad instantly looked odd, he was starting to sweat. I must have done something, maybe the heat turned on. No, it couldn't have been that it was the middle of summer. Brad started to look calmer so I just let it go. "Alice," he started saying. "I hurt you, I know I did. I don't want to tell you this." He gained tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry. What I told you that day about my boss, was just a lie. I think I just wanted to hurt you more. I don't love my boss, I love you and only you. However, I do know that you did date Chad for a short amount of time." He said as he looked me straight in the eyes. "Well, of course, I dated him, Brad. Why are you telling me that you knew he was dating me, I know that you knew." I said as I questioned where he was going. He got more of a sinister look on his face. "And I also know how much he loved you, just as much as I did. I know that he wanted to be with you, in some senses more than I did." "What are you getting at Brad? A couple minutes ago you told me you loved me." "Of course I love you, Alice, how else was I supposed to have you all to myself." I was confused. What did he mean? What did he have to do to-, no? He couldn't have, he wouldn't have. I was forgiving him, I was falling in love with him, I was letting everything in my past go to be with him, and now he was telling me this. "You didn't," I said to him as I felt tears well up in my eyes. "I had to Alice like I said, it was the only way I could be with you. If I hadn't I would not be talking to you right now. He's gone now Alice, you have no one else now but me." I felt more tears come into my eyes. I blinked and let the salty tears fall down my cheeks and into my mouth, which was open from shock. "You call that love? You call hurting me in every way, possible love?" Brad looked straight into my eyes. "In fact Alice, I do call that love, and you know what else I call love, the poison that I poured into your drink. If I can't have you, then no one should be able to. I poured poison into your drink because I love you, I love you too much for anyone else to have you." He thought those were going to be his last words to me. Brad started to sweat more and more. His eyes widened. "Oh, shoot!" he screamed as he spits up foamy saliva and fell to the ground, he was choking. No, he was poisoned. I screamed his name. My previous tears turned into sobs. I couldn't tell if they were sad tears or angry tears. He was leaving me. "I can't let you die!" I screamed. He had shallow breaths and sputtered through the foam, "I'm sorry Alice; I made a mistake. I never meant to hurt you, I still-" He stopped talking. He took one final breath and then stopped. I screamed, I wept. "Brad! What Brad, you still what? Do you still love me? Brad? Brad?" I slapped him in the face. "Wake up, I won't let this happen to me again. Why does love hate me? Why can't I have someone of my own that won't either leave me or die? Just wake up! Brad!" I stood at my counter in my black funeral dress. As I flipped the detective's card in my hand. In my mind, I thought about how my day was going to go. I had to attend Chad's funeral... but first, I had to go to my polygraph test at 1 o'clock today.