Princess Revenge

I whimpered as the oxygen escaped my lungs, tears I rather not shed for the sake of pride continued to pool on my face. But my head is full of contempt “In my dying hours I curse you, my dear brother..” I manage to utter as my consciousness slowly started to fade. It is a good day, the seldom times that I feel like life is worth living are during times like this where I can see the bright clear skies, the bustling winds that sweep the area, and the tree where I’m currently resting. I exhaled a deep breath to take in the serenity that this place offers me.  But even the beauty of this place that has never failed to calm me down can’t erase the anxiety that I feel because of the fact that I will be turning 15 years old soon. It shouldn’t be a big deal, everyone gets to be 15 years old at some point in their lives but as a princess with no political value whatsoever, it can get dreadful. My brother, the 4th prince who’s in line with the throne promised me a secure life if he’s crowned as an emperor. It made me wonder why? why me? a princess who can’t even help him get the throne yet, he’s already promising me a good and secured future. I will forever be grateful.  He’s the only one who treats me like a person, like a sibling in this godforsaken place. “Hal, what are you doing here?” My stupor was disturbed by an overly familiar voice that crept behind me, the initial nervousness I felt was changed into a smile upon recognizing who the person is. “Brother Liam!” I hurriedly stood up from my sitting position to run towards my brother. “Slow down,” he chuckled but his happy expression morphed stiff, a distinct expression he shows when he wants to act strict when I was just a few meters away from him. “You know it’s dangerous for a princess to wander alone in the forest young lady”  I am alone because no one wants to be with me is what I wanted to say but swallowed the words straight into my throat and decided to act like a bratty younger sister which I can’t exercise any time I want. “I’m not young anymore brother, it’s my 15th birthday soon!” I crossed my arms and pouted a little which ended up failing because my lips would automatically show my brightest smile whenever I am with this person.  “I know, I know” He then gently pat my head which I love the most in the world. “What gift do you like hmm? Should we throw you a banquet?” A banquet would be a dream come true, but I am someone who’s aware of my standing in this world. I know greed will come and push me while I show my back, that’s why I’d rather live a humble life and enjoy the blessings I could have. “I’d like anything that you’ll give me brother, and… father won’t allow a banquet. I’ll be fine as long as you visit me!” my brother is the only one who cares for me in this lonesome place, if it weren’t for him I wouldn’t have the will to survive. “Okay, but don’t think for a second that I wouldn’t try to persuade father. I trust my convincing prowess!” He smiled at me, and at that moment all I could think of is how lucky I am to have a brother like him. “Don’t! You’re a candidate for the throne, you can’t ruin your reputation for me” Suddenly I felt sullen, the thought of him getting hated by our father because of me, I wouldn’t want that to happen. My brother deserves to be the next emperor and I believe he will. “I don’t care about that if it’s for my dear sister I would do it.. but if you’re against it, maybe I should visit you with a cake. How about that?”  Brother Liam is the kindest out of 14 siblings, he’s also polite, even with the maids and the workers in the palace. He’s capable of making everyone like him, the “Perfect Prince for the Throne” is what I’ve heard the maids in the main palace whisper in the hallways, and I agree. “That would be the best!” I hugged him in glee, and when I felt him hugging me back, the warmth that spread in my system is almost enough to be a birthday present. “I won’t scold you any more about staying here in the forest but get back before the sun sets okay? I have work to do so don’t wander around” I gave him a nod and waved him goodbye. I flopped down under the tree with a better disposition than ever, it felt like a weight has been lifted on my shoulders, and that made me smile- a genuine one. “I can’t wait for my birthday!” I said out loud and exhaled some giggles. I felt like I am on cloud nine, it always felt good whenever I interact with my brother. His presence makes me forget how miserable I am in the palace, how utterly out of place I feel every single day.  Brother Liam is the fourth among 14 siblings, the second son out of five, and is a candidate for the throne. He is the son of the queen, the first concubine of the emperor next to the empress.  Their family are of the Evans, they are powerful and are great mercenaries. The queen was able to secure her spot next to the emperor and it’s all thanks to her strong filial background. She gave birth to three children, the fourth prince, the sixth princess, and the 10th princess. Only having one son out of three is enough to make the queen’s focus solely on Brother Liam. According to the rumors that circulate around the palace, she got rid of any obstacle that comes near my brother soon as she deem them unnecessary for his ascension to the throne.  I’ve heard whispers, the subtle and not-so-subtle ones thrown at me, for why am I still not being targeted by the queen, but I know the answer. I know how brother Liam had taken it upon himself to receive the wrath of his mother just to keep me by his side. Because he pities my poor, young, and pitiful self. He pities that I am growing alone in this tiger den, he pities that I am without a mother. And for one thing, I know how much he suffered because of me, and the whip marks on his back told me everything I needed to know. I sighed to dispel all the thoughts that are starting to get in my head, so I to gathered my things, visiting the garden would be a good idea since my siblings don't like to stay outdoor when the sun is slowly starting to set, it's always best to avoid any form of contact with them. But I was wrong, upon arrival at the garden, I was met with an intense and scrutinizing gaze from my sisters, the 3rd and the 6th princesses are staring down at me.  "Why are you wandering in a place where my eyes could see you? I thought I warned you the last time?" 3rd sister spat her words like what I did was a crime. "Sister Camelia I apologize, I didn't know that you will be here at this time" I immediately bowed and lowered myself so as not to anger her more. "Sister Camelia?! How dare you address my name you disgrace! I never permitted you!" She slapped me hard which made my cheeks sting in pain. I had forgotten, I was not allowed to call them their names, only brother Liam allowed me to. "I'm sorry 3rd sister, I'm sorry, brother Liam allowed me so it must've slipped my mind" I sobbed in pain while muttering a string of apologies. "Brother Liam had been spoiling you, I pity him, he's holding on the rotten rope. There's no way he's expecting to be an emperor with a sister like you. If he was smart enough, 13th sister was a better choice than you" 6th sister said while fanning herself.  In the Balboa Kingdom, a woman can't rule but they are used for support especially for us, children of the emperor. Every concubine comes from a good family with a refutable background that can help any prince with their factions, that can help them on their way to becoming the emperor. If they gave birth to a daughter, the only way for them to gain power is to use them and cling with their chosen prince, the one they think that can share power with them in the future. In that way, a princess can survive because if their prince becomes the emperor it is guaranteed that they will have a good position during his reign.  Women aren't given proper education either, this means they are not allowed to study the same things men do including business, swordsmanship, and even the simple principles of handling properties rather, they are taught how to sew, how to smile, and impress an audience, how to fake pleasantries, how to spot gems in the crowd that would be beneficial for survival. In that essence, women are just tools, but anything that was given value makes one a bit happier. I guess on my part I would, if anyone would see something in me to use me for, I would gladly take it. Having someone say that I actually am of value to them, that perhaps I weigh more than I would ever imagine, if only. "What good can a princess without a mother do? Perhaps he thinks he can sell you to the duke? Because that's the only way he can gain something from you. But with your looks? I doubt someone would ever buy you" My sisters laughed like it was the funniest statement they ever heard, but I agree.  My mother died after giving birth to me. She's from a faraway country so it's impossible to have blood relatives that will back me up while I stay in this Kingdom, and my appearance looks very different from the people that live here. My hair is black as a raven, and my eyes are in the shade of an amber, the one my brothers and sisters usually hate seeing.  "Don't delude yourself 14th "princess" you don't belong here." 3rd sister said with finality. It's a sister that I am most aware of, yet I was reminded again as it would ever slip my mind.  It would be nice if brother Liam would come to me right now, after all, he's the only one who's kind enough to share my warmth. But I am afraid if I call him over something so little like this, he'll finally get tired of me and realize that just like what my sisters had said, I am actually of no use to him. And I fear for that every single day.