Occult Sciences
1180 Words
INT. OCCULT SCIENCE CLASSROOM – DAY
Candlelight dances over towering Nephilim skeletons that rise along the walls like ancient Roman columns. Professor Diaz speaks with dramatic flourish, while Rahbeem Roth stands at his side, eyes wide with wonder at the whole ordeal.
On the second day of Rahbeem's extended job interview at the magic school, he blinked at a jar labeled “eye of newt” that blinked right back at him from Professor Diaz’s desk. Besides, it sat a glowing fairy, her delicate wings drooping as she hovered sadly within a glass jar pierced with tiny holes in the lid for air.
His gaze eventually wandered to a strikingly lifelike statue of a Union soldier astride a white horse, its surface gleaming oddly in the flicker of candlelight. Sniffling, he rubbed his nose, then glanced back at the statue. It hadn’t moved, yet its very normalcy made it stand out all the more, lending it an uncanny strangeness.
Finally, covering the back wall was a large velvet tapestry of a kind-faced old man.
He wore respectable gold-rimmed spectacles, and across his chest was a clean, crisp, presentable green military uniform.
The old man's name was RANGWARK.
He was the Demon God who now rules planet Earth.
INT. OCCULT SCIENCE CLASSROOM – SAME
Professor Diaz gestures to Rahbeem.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
So let's all welcome Professor Roth! He’s here to observe our class and get a feel for the school.
And NARC on forbidden magic users, Rahbeem thought nervously, rubbing his nose again.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Be your absolute BEST selves.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
(beat)
Or face HARSH consequences.
Rahbeem and Diaz nod to each other. And Rahbeem heads to his seat—passing Seth Bynum on his way there. He bumps Seth’s guitar as he moves. And a moment later, a sneeze. Another sniffle.
RAHBEEM
(to himself)
Definitely forbidden magic nearby.
CUT TO:
Vegas starts to snore loudly at his desk. Drool pools on his arm. Some of the students nearby chuckle as they watch him, but they try not to make it too obvious, not wanting to draw Diaz's attention.
CUT TO:
GREG THE GOZER, who’s sitting on one side of Seth, leans into his ear.
GREG
Be honest. Richards is on that FOOKIN’ Pixie dust, right?
SETH
(side eyes him)
Personal space?
SKYLAR PEABODY slides in from the other side, whispering in Seth’s other ear.
SKYLAR
Hollywood child stars always end up jacked up on drugs! Vegas is no different.
SETH
(growls)
Vegas is not on pixie dust!
Greg smacks Seth's back hard as if trying to be reassuring. Seth coughs, and little droplets of blood fly out of his mouth onto his open notebook page.
Greg doesn't notice the blood droplets.
GREG THE GOZER
You're a good boy, Seth. I respect you for trying to defend your foster brother. You'd be great if you just learned to relax a little.
CUT TO: Seth breaths in hard, looking down at his notebook. There's a little bit of blood at the corner of his lips.
CUT TO: The notebook. Seth was drawing dragons onto a page full of notes about Diaz's occult lectures. The blood spots that land on the paper seem almost deliberate, like fireballs shooting out of the dragon's mouth.
I tried my best. Seth thinks to himself. I got Vegas up in time to make it to class. But he was probably up all night working on his "special project." Now he's asleep in class despite my best efforts, and everyone thinks it's because he's f****d up on drugs.
CUT TO: Seth looks down at the notebook sadly. He takes his finger and smears some of the blood spots on the paper, making it look like streams of fire shooting out of the dragon's mouth.
CUT TO: A tired smile grows on Seth's lips as he looks down at the picture.
The notebook is knocked clear off his desk by a porno magazine.
CUT TO: Seth blinks down at the magazine, stunned.
SKYLAR
(starts rapping vulgar rap lyrics)
GREG THE GOZER
Bet this'll help you relax. Nice, Right? YEAH!
Seth stares down at the picture, then shakes his head.
GREG THE GOZER
What would a little dork like you do with a chick like that?
Seth mutters a magical phrase under his breath and opens his arms wide, and the notebook leaps back into his arms magically.
SETH
Sorry, I don't really trust women. Especially when they're pointing their bungholes at me.
CUT TO: Professor Diaz continues with his lecture, writing magical equations on the chalkboard...
CUT TO: Vegas's eyes get sleepy and heavy, and he passes out asleep again. The snoring commences.
CUT TO: Rahbeem Roth is seated in a seat near the middle of the class next to DORATHY SMILES. He scratches his neck as he hears the snoring and turns to see Richard Beltran fast asleep.
RAHBEEM
Boy comes in late, then sleeps through class?
His eyes flick back to the Union soldier statue.
RAHBEEM
That thing belongs in a history museum, not here...
Dorathy doesn’t look at him.
DORATHY
Vegas sucks at magic anyway. Even if he paid attention, he'd still be bad at it. Have you heard how he got the nickname, Vegas?
Rahbeem tilts a little more in her direction, wanting to hear this. He'd honestly been curious about the nickname,
DORATHY
His uncle Kaye said he was so useless at magic he'd never amount to more than pulling rabbits out of hats in LAS VEGAS.
Rahbeem winces, suddenly feeling bad for the boy. That's harsh!
He notices her black widow tattoo. His nose twitches again.
RAHBEEM
And you’re a... what did you call it?
DORATHY
A butterscotch witch. We’re a protected minority group, so don’t say anything negative!
RAHBEEM
Uh-huh. A butterscotch witch?
RAHBEEM
How does that work exactly? Do you use butterscotch in your magic or—
DORATHY
No. I just like butterscotch. Not as much as caramel, but—
RAHBEEM
So why not be a caramel witch?
DORATHY
Ew! Caramel witches are all w****s!
Rahbeem's face twisted for a moment in confusion, but then he just shook his head and turned forward again. If he tried to figure out this kind of logic, he might end up giving himself an aneurysm. So sometimes it was better not to figure it out.
Anyway, he was having an allergic reaction. Someone in this class had forbidden magic, but who?
Seth and Richard Beltran are both in this class. Either could be triggering his allergy.
He sneezes, then settles in, praying that what he was really in this magic school for would never be discovered.
CUT TO:
INT. OCCULT SCIENCE CLASSROOM – SAME
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Now, the seven absolutely forbidden acts of magic...
Seth lies on his desk, drooling. Greg and Skylar use his back as a table for their magazine.
SKYLAR
Seth looks like he’s dying.
GREG
What’s that gotta do with the giant plastic titties on this b***h?
Seth drools near death. The poison he had taken was doing it's job.
SKYLAR
Greeeeg... what’s she doing?
GREG
What’s who doing?
- Writer
