Promethean Science
1011 Words
INT. PROMETHEAN SCIENCES CLASSROOM- DAY
Vegas picks up his cell phone and checks the time. He then puts the phone back down with a sigh.
VEGAS
You know...if I thought I was going to avoid demented perverts by quitting Hollywood...
Shifts on his legs and looks down at whatever's at the edge of his desk.
VEGAS
It's sad to see that I was sorely mistaken...
CUT TO: Professor ALLEN ALLENS. He is a short man with large coke-bottle glasses and a bushy mustache. He looks up at Vegas adoringly. He looks almost cute, as he is about the height of a young child. There's a big black box sticking out of the side of his head.
VEGAS
Can you get away from my desk, please, professor?
CUT TO: Seth Bynum is pretending to be a corpse on Vegas' desk. He opens his eyes and shifts them to look at the tall blond.
SETH
Come on, baby bro. Just give me a quick cut to the jugular with that scalpel. By the time Allen Allens stops undressing you with his eyes, I'll be off this shitty planet!
VEGAS
I should kill you for what you did to me this morning, Seth! But I won't give you the satisfaction. Anyway, I am a being of light.
He flexes.
VEGAS
I give LIFE, I don't take it.
Seth sighs and sits up, and leaps off the table to stand next to Vegas as his lab partner. Another student pushing a cart full of cadavers helps Seth and Vegas load a dead body onto their desk.
Now on their desk is a male corpse dressed in an expensive-looking suit.
VEGAS
Speaking of which, did you know Eddie is back in school? Not only is he back, but he's also in with the demon hunters now.
SETH
Oh, yeah? Well, that's...
Seth lowers his goggles, watching him, pondering.
SETH
Strange...
He follows Vegas as he moves around the corpse, getting it ready for experimentation.
VEGAS
That's what Buck Kissinger says. He's at the Golden Redemption school, cursing out white people in Japanese.
SETH
(Can't help but chuckle at that)
VEGAS
It's not funny, Seth. He's spiraling. We gotta do something to help him.
SETH
By "do something," what are you thinking, exactly?
VEGAS
(Smiles)
You know what I'm thinking. And we're in Promethean sciences class anyway, right?
He starts heading to the back, where the electrical wires are.
SETH
Vegas, be careful when you go back there. Remember last time you got electrocuted messing with those wires? You were in the hospital for a week, and all your glands got f****d up!
Seth starts pantomiming big bosoms on his chest.
SETH
Remember those gigantic titties you grew?
Vegas spins around angrily.
VEGAS
You signed an NDA, Seth! Please don't make me get the LAWYERS!
SETH
"F" your Lawyers!
He turns back to the dead human corpse on his table.
SETH
(looking down at it)
Ain't you lucky? All dead and s**t.
He leans in closer to the body, looking it over with adoration and fascination.
SETH
You look like you were a chill dude. I think I'm going to name you "Mort, the Cavalier Cadaver".
He smiles. He puts on some headphones and grabs his smartphone, turning the volume up all the way as he gets to work on the corpse.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN.
Vegas, meanwhile, is at the giant conductor ma-thingy searching for the right cords he needs.
Scooby Palidino approaches him.
SCOOBY
Vegas actually came to class today? Holy Smokes! Game on!
He chuckles and then bumps fists with Vegas.
VEGAS
I had to come today, Scoob. We're finally learning something useful.
Scooby snorts as he searches for his own wires.
SCOOBY
You mean resurrection? What happened to the spell book Charles got you?
VEGAS
I got it, Scooby. But you know, let's try SCIENCE first before we do all that "hoo doo" spooky-ooky stuff.
SCOOBY
I hate to break it to you, Vegas, but Tyler Maddison took this class last semester. He said they went through the motions, but no one really raises the dead here.
VEGAS
I know, I know. It's a hyped-up biology class (whispers to him). I got the spell book as a backup. I'm raisin' the mother-TRUCKIN' dead today, BOY!
They bump fists on that.
SCOOBY
Vegas, you gotta do that thing...
CUT TO: Vegas snarls slightly, catching Scooby's request. He looks up at the conductor.
CUT TO: Scooby walks backward, heading to his desk. He double points at Vegas with red and blue wires in his hands.
SCOOBY
Gotta do that "thing" Vegas. Get us outta here and do that "thing"!
CUT TO:
VEGAS
(Grumbles)
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Vegas stands there looking at the conductor, thinking it over. He seems scared of the electrical wires at first. But soon, his fear disappears, and he returns to his usual optimistic self. He grabs the wires he needs and heads back to his desk with Seth.
CUT TO: Seth snaps selfies in his necromancy gear, trying to pose to get Mort in his shot. Vegas hands Seth a few wires, and they both start connecting them to Mort.
SETH
I got the feeling I'm gonna die today, Vegas. Look at all the electrical wires all over the place. Someone gon' die here, and I gotta feeling it's gonna be me!
He claps happily.
VEGAS
NOPE! You ain't going nowhere. I need you. The team needs you. We're the mighty 4! The students of the greatest wizard to ever live. We'll figure out the secrets of life, death, and love TOGETHER.
He magically produces rose petals in his hands and blows them dramatically.
Seth chuckles.
SETH
The world has been conquered by evil, yet you still have all this optimism. How?
Another student at the back of the class, by the conductor, switches it on. The corpses on the desks jolt and quiver. Electricity surges through their bodies.
VEGAS
(grabs Seth and hugs him excitedly)
You just have to have HOPE, Seth!
SETH
Christopher Robyn says hope is for chicks!
- Writer
