chapter 12
1057 Words
Tamara
"Tammy? Honey, is that you? What is wrong?" My mother’s voice came through the phone speaker.
Hearing her gentle tone made me cry louder. I pulled my knees tightly against my chest and leaned my back against the hard bedroom wall. "Mom," I sobbed, struggling to catch my breath. "I cannot do this anymore. I can't stay here."
"I am just not strong," I told her, my voice trembling. "I am not strong, and…and I am not brave. I train every single day. I push my body until my muscles fail, but it is never enough for him."
"Slow down, Tamara," my mother instructed calmly. "Tell me exactly what happened."
I wiped the wet tears from my cheeks using the back of my hand. My injured shoulder throbbed with a sharp constant pain. Blood had dried on my shirt, making the fabric stick to my skin. However, the physical injury bothered me much less than the deep sadness I felt inside my heart.
I explained everything to her. From when I arrived till this entire evening to her. I told her about the border patrol. I described how the rogue wolf had jumped out from behind the trees and attacked one of our warriors. I explained how I knew I was not fast enough to shift and fight the rogue head-on.
"I used my surroundings, Mom," I said, sniffing loudly. "I dropped the branch directly onto the rogue. It distracted him long enough for the warrior to recover and deliver the final strike. But the rogue got my shoulder before he went down."
I paused to take a deep breath. The complete silence on the phone let me know my mother was listening very closely.
"When Alpha North arrived, he did not ask if I was okay," I whispered. "He shouted at me in front of all the other pack members. He was angry. He called me weak. He told me I was a liability to his pack. He did not care that I had just saved a man’s life. He did not care that I was bleeding from my shoulder. He was just angry that I did not shift and fight the rogue."
"I just wanted what you and Dad have," I continued, fresh tears dropping onto my torn clothes. "I grew up watching the two of you lead our pack. Dad loves you unconditionally. He respects your decisions. He always asks for your opinion, and he never makes you feel small or useless. I thought finding my mate meant I would automatically have that kind of relationship too. I thought my mate would love me and accept me exactly the way I am. But I was wrong. So so wrong mom."
"Oh, my sweet girl," my mother said softly.
"Instead, I have to struggle every single day," I said, wiping my eyes again. "I have to fight constantly just to prove I deserve a place in this pack. I am fighting for a mate who does not even want me here, Mom. He looks at me, and he only sees a person who does not belong in his pack."
I sniffled, feeling completely exhausted in both my mind and my body. "I want to come home. I just want to pack my clothes, leave this place, and go back to my old bedroom."
My mother sighed deeply. I could hear the genuine sadness in her breathing.
"Tamara, I hear you," she said. Her tone was gentle and calm. "I understand exactly why you feel this way right now. Your feelings are completely valid. You survived a very dangerous situation today, and you were humiliated afterward. It is entirely normal to be upset."
Her words provided some comfort, but the heavy sadness remained firmly in my mind.
"I love you so much, Tammy," she continued. "You are my daughter, and you are much smarter and more capable than you give yourself credit for. If it gets too much to handle, you can always return home to us. You will always be loved here in the Moondusk pack."
I closed my eyes. Hearing her say those words provided a massive relief. The tight tension in my neck and back relaxed slightly.
"Can I really come back?" I asked, my voice very quiet.
"Of course you can," my mother answered immediately. "Your father and I just want you to be safe and happy. For now, I will not tell your father or Ryder about this specific conversation. You know how protective they both are. If they knew Alpha North yelled at you while you were bleeding, they would drive up there tonight."
I nodded, even though she could not see me. My father and Ryder would definitely attack North if they knew how he treated me.
"But, Tamara," my mother added, her voice turning very serious and firm. "If this situation gets worse, or if he ever causes you harm, I will have to involve them. We will not let anyone abuse you, whether he is your mate or not. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, Mom. I understand."
"Take the rest of the night to calm down," my mother advised. "Clean yorself up and get some sleep. Do not make any major decisions tonight while you are crying. Tomorrow morning, if you still want to leave, you pack your bags and you call me. I will arrange for some warriors to bring you back home."
"Thank you, Mom," I said. "Thank you for not being disappointed in my choice."
"I could never be disappointed in you, Tamara. Never."
Just as she finished speaking those words, a loud knock sounded against the thick wood of my bedroom door.
I froze instantly and my entire body tensed. Beneath the faint smells of the floorboards and cleaning supplies, I smelled pine needles and rain. It was the scent of my mate. North was standing directly outside my bedroom door.
I felt a sudden rush of panic in my chest. I did not want to look at him. I did not want him to see my tear-stained face and judge my emotional reaction.
"Mom, someone is at the door," I whispered quickly into the phone receiver. "I have to end the call."
"Alright, honey. Remember exactly what I told you. I love you."
"I love you too."
Oh Goddess, why me?
- Writer
