Luna’s two colors

The darkest time

I said goodbye to Alissa, Sam and Lily. It’s a nice summer's day so people are outside doing whatever makes them happy. I reached my room’s door and went in. The pups are so lovable but, Goddess they can be exhausting. If I had half of the energy they have, I could conquer the world.

I go to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I smell like dirt and I think I have some worm leftovers in my hair. The cut on my finger has already healed perfectly. The perks of being a werewolf: we heal rather quickly. I wash my hair and put some lotion all over me. The lotion smells like honey and I feel refreshed. I check in the mirror and try to find some tan lines. Whole damn day in the sun and I still look like I have been kept in a dark cave for five years. I envy the sunkissed skin that Alissa has. It’s so unfair.

I put on some pink microshorts and a gray tank top and put my hair in a bun. I look like I’m from Desperate Housewives, the Uncut version where they have edited all the behind the scenes. I chuckle at my imagery and turn on Netflix from my TV when Kuura decides to speak to me.

You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.

”I’m not. Didn’t you hear, I laughed at myself?”

Yes I heard, but you have forgotten something. I feel your feelings. It is OK to be sad, you know?

”I know, I know. But I don’t have time to be sad anymore. I have to check this new series and clean my closet and stuff”

And I know when you are lying. But if it helps go for. Just please, please talk to Alissa or Tom. Or Diana. Or call your mom.

”No. Alissa could be the only one who could understand. But mom left. She needs her own time to heal. It’s okay, I’ll be okay. Now let me see what kind of world destruction humans have now created for me to enjoy”.

Kuura left me alone and I started the show. I have always enjoyed zombie flicks, but I can’t concentrate. I felt the sadness burning in my chest and I became nauseous. It has been.. What.. Three years now?

I thought that this would get easier. They promised that in a year the pain of losing someone close to you would be much less. But still, whenever I’m tired and alone, it creeps on me. Goddess I’m 25 years old and crying after my father.

When my mother and father came back from the cruise they had to make a decision. It was not like they were from different packs but whole different continents. My father was supposed to become an Alpha to White Moon pack and it was so hard for him. He was ready to leave the pack to go to Finland to be with my mom. But she chose to move to America and father got to be Alpha and mother Luna.

They ruled together for so many years but couldn’t conceive. Then, on my mother's 90th year, a miracle happened and Alissa showed herself to the world. They kept the pregnancy hidden to the last minute in a fear of losing Alissa to stress or rogue attack. Father and mother were over the Moon with joy, but it took a lot from them. All night feedings and toddler time. My father was 60 years old then, so it was hard for him. Then, seven years later, I showed up naked and crying. Mother was almost 100 years old and father 67. Mother still looked like she was in her 30s, but father became an old man. Even his wolf started to slow down little by little.

The pact was still loyal, and they wanted my father to be an alpha as long as he was alive or Alissa finds her mate. Alissa met Jackson and they became an item. Jackson’s father is Beta and his mother has Alpha blood in her, so Jackson was an excellent choice to continue my father's legacy. My father retired at the honorable age of 87. He got to see Sam being born, and he was so proud of Alissa and being a grandfather. When he died, we held a big funeral and people came from all around. He was loved not only by his own pack but all over this land. And, of course, some relatives from my mother's side from Finland. They don’t like traveling this far, so it was highly appreciated.

But I cried. I cried for weeks. Kuura cried, and I didn’t hear from her for days. Alissa was confused because she had at the same time her life’s biggest sorrow and happiness with Sam being a newborn. I just wish I could have been more help for her, but I just couldn’t take her sadness. Tom was with me most of the time, and he cried with me. He and my father loved each other and my father treated Tom like he was his own. That is just one thing that I loved about him. He trusted my and Alissa’s judgment of character. If we trusted and loved someone, they were always welcomed into our family. Or if they needed help or guidance, father was there for them. He was an amazing father, Alpha and a friend to so many people.

The Finnish folk took care of my mother. There was a time when I thought I would lose my mother too. She was so heartbroken and devastated that she stopped eating and sleeping. She was just a hollow shell and aged decades in a few weeks. Sometimes I felt some funny smells coming from my mother's bedroom. I do not know what the Finnish folks were cooking there, but little by little she came back to life.

When I had come to my senses, or actually I think I had just cried so much that there were no more tears in my body, I talked with my Finnish relatives. I have visited there four times. My mother insisted that Alissa and I see all the four seasons when I was still a pup, but Alissa was a teenager, so we were there two to three weeks at a time to see the changes. And it was amazing and the stories and mythologies I heard. If they are real, so must be the wishing well in Tom’s pack.