Let go of the Past

Monday, 7:18 AM — School courtyard "MARIEEEEEEEEEEE!" Marie nearly dropped her bread. "WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?! I'M RIGHT HERE!" Jae came running toward her, clutching her phone with one hand and a half-eaten sandwich with the other. "YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!" Marie stared at her best friend. ". . .Did you accidentally send a confession to the school principal again?" "THAT WAS ONE TIME!" "YOU CALLED HER HANDSOME." "ANYWAY! THAT IS NOT THE POINT!" Marie burst into laughter. That was Marie. She laughed loudly. She talked too much when she was comfortable. Turning the most ordinary morning into a comedy show, and she had a habit of caring about people even when they didn't deserve it. She had a heart that made people feel like they mattered. Unfortunately, she had one terrible weakness. She was very, very bad at protecting her own heart. And that weakness was about to introduce itself to her in the form of a boy wearing glasses. A boy named Leon. "Marie." Jae suddenly grabbed her shoulders. Marie blinked. "Why are you looking at me like you're about to sell me to a black-market organization?" "Look over there." Marie followed her gaze. Near the courtyard's fountain stood Leon, surrounded by a few classmates. His uniform was neat. His expression was unreadable. He was tall, quiet, and had the kind of face that made girls suddenly remember they had forgotten how to walk properly. He wasn't the type to smile at everyone nor initiate conversations. And he certainly wasn't the type to chase girls. Except for one. Margarette. His first love. The girl he had liked for so long that people had practically accepted it as part of his identity. Marie watched him for approximately three seconds. Then she turned back to Jae. "Okay. I've seen him. Can I finish my bread now?" Jae looked personally offended. "THAT'S LEON!" "I KNOW." "Jae, how many Leons are there in this school?" "WHY ARE YOU SO UNIMPRESSED?!" "Because I'm hungry." Jae sighed dramatically. "You're hopeless." They entered the classroom arguing. Neither noticed Leon looking in their direction. More specifically, looking at Marie. Not because he liked her But because he had heard something the previous afternoon. Something that gave him an idea. An idea that would eventually become the biggest mistake of his life. 8:05 AM — The classroom "Class, we have a new activity for this week," their teacher announced. The entire class groaned. Marie slowly lowered her head onto her desk. "Please. No more activities." Jae patted her shoulder. "Rest in peace, humble citizen." Their teacher ignored them. "For this activity, I want you to work in pairs. You'll be exploring emotions, communication, and the meaning of love through a series of written reflections." Marie raised her head. Love? She liked love stories and romance novels. She liked imagining ridiculous scenarios in which two people hated each other for six chapters before realizing they couldn't live without each other. But writing about love herself? That was a different matter. "Your partners have been assigned." The teacher began reading the list. "Jae and Joni." Jae immediately turned around. Joni, sitting two rows behind them, gave her a lazy salute. "Congratulations. You're stuck with me." "PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE GOOD AT WRITING." "I'm good at copying your handwriting." "THAT IS NOT WHAT I ASKED!" The teacher continued. Then— "Marie and Leon." Silence. Marie and Jae froze. Even Joni stopped laughing. Slowly, Marie turned toward the boy sitting beside the windows. Leon looked up from his notebook. Their eyes met. He gave her a small nod. "Let's work together." Marie stared at him. Then she leaned toward Jae and whispered, "Did I do something wrong in my past life?" Jae whispered back, "YOU WON THE LOTTERY." "THEN WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO DIE?" Leon heard them. For the first time that morning, the corner of his mouth almost moved. 12:35 PM — Behind the library Marie arrived carrying two notebooks, pens, a bottle of water, and a packet of biscuits. Leon was already there. "You brought a lot of things," he observed. Marie looked at her belongings. "Oh. I panicked." "About what?" "Working with you." He raised an eyebrow. She immediately waved both hands. "NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE BAD OR ANYTHING! You're just—well— you look like you could calculate my entire life expectancy if I annoyed you." Leon stared at her. Marie stared back. Then she opened the biscuits. "Want one?" He looked at the packet. "No, thanks." "Okay." She ate one. A moment passed. Then another. Finally, Leon spoke. "Can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Do you know much about love?" Marie stopped chewing. Oh, this was dangerous. She slowly put the biscuit down. "Depends. Are we talking about healthy love, tragic love, forbidden love, childhood friends-to-lovers, or the kind where the male lead is emotionally constipated for two hundred chapters?" Leon blinked. "...What?" "Never mind." He leaned back against the wall. "I mean real love." Marie's expression softened. She considered the question seriously. "I think love is when you want someone to be happy, even when things aren't going the way you want them to." Leon looked at her. "And when they hurt you?" She hesitated. "Then you have to decide whether staying is worth the pain." "Would you stay?" Marie smiled faintly. "I don't know. I hope I'm smart enough not to." For some reason, Leon remembered those words. He would remember them for years. But that afternoon, he was thinking about something else. Margarette. He had liked her for years. He knew the things she liked, things that made her laugh, and the kind of words that made her smile. But whenever he tried to express his feelings, he became awkward. He didn't know how to write a proper confession or how to talk about his emotions. And he didn't understand how people could make love look so easy. Marie, on the other hand, seemed to understand those things naturally. She could explain complicated feelings with simple words. She could make ordinary moments sound meaningful. She could write about heartbreak as though she had lived through a thousand lifetimes. And Leon had a plan. A plan he convinced himself wasn't cruel. "Marie." "Hmm?" "Can you help me?" "With the assignment?" "Not exactly." He looked directly at her. "I want to learn how to love someone properly." Marie blinked. Then she smiled. "That's actually a good thing." "I want you to teach me." Her smile faltered a little. "You're good at understanding people." Hearing that someone thought she understood people made something warm bloom inside her chest. "Okay," she answered softly. "I'll help you." Leon nodded. "Thank you." He didn't tell her the rest. He didn't tell her that the person he wanted to learn to love was Margarette. He didn't tell her that he planned to use her advice to become the perfect boy for another girl. And Marie didn't ask. Because sometimes, the beginning of heartbreak doesn't look like a warning. Sometimes, it looks like a boy asking for help. And a girl being happy that he asked her. 4:12 PM — The school gate "MARIEEEEE!" Marie turned around. Jae came sprinting toward her, with Joni walking behind her while eating chips. "HOW DID IT GO?!" Marie smiled. "He's actually nice." Joni choked on his chips. Jae's mouth fell open. "LEON? NICE?" "Yes?" "THE SAME LEON WHO ONCE ANSWERED A GIRL'S CONFESSION WITH 'NOTED'?" Marie burst out laughing. "HE DID NOT!" "HE DID! I HAVE EVIDENCE!" Joni wiped his mouth. "So, Marie. Do you like him?" Marie nearly tripped over her own feet. "WHAT?! NO!" Jae grinned. "That was a suspiciously fast answer." "I JUST MET HIM!" "You've known him for months." "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Joni watched her for a moment before speaking. "Just be careful, Marie." She tilted her head. "About what?" He shrugged. "Leon doesn't usually ask people for help unless he needs something." Marie laughed. "Then it's a good thing I'm helping him, right?" Neither Jae nor Joni laughed with her. But Marie was already looking toward the school building. She didn't see Leon standing by the second-floor window. And she certainly didn't hear the conversation taking place beside him. 4:20 PM — Second-floor corridor "Did she agree?" a familiar voice asked. Leon turned. Margarette stood beside him, holding her books against her chest. His expression changed immediately. It was subtle, but noticeable. His shoulders relaxed. His voice softened. "Yeah." Margarette smiled. "Really? She agreed to help you?" "She did." "That's so nice of her." Leon looked through the window again. Marie was walking away with Jae and Joni, talking animatedly with her hands. "She's good at this kind of thing," he said. Margarette glanced at him. "Then maybe you'll finally be able to tell me how you feel." Leon fell silent. That was the goal. He wanted Margarette to see him differently. He wanted to stop being the boy who stood at a distance, hoping she would eventually notice him. He wanted a chance. And if Marie could teach him how to become the kind of boy Margarette would fall for, then— "Leon?" He looked back at Margarette. "Yeah?" "Thank you for still trying." Those words were enough to make his heart race. He smiled. A real smile. The kind Marie hadn't seen yet. "Of course." Margarette left shortly afterward. Leon stayed by the window. Below, Marie suddenly turned around to say something to Jae. She laughed so hard that she almost dropped her bag. He watched her for a few seconds. Then he looked away. She's just helping me. It's only an assignment. Once I learn how to express myself, I'll confess to Margarette. He repeated those thoughts until they sounded harmless. Until he believed them. Until he forgot that Marie wasn't a notebook where he could practice writing love letters. She was a person. A person who had just opened a door for him without knowing he intended to walk through it on his way to someone else. 9:46 PM — Marie's bedroom Marie lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her phone buzzed. Leon: Did you get home safely? She sat up so quickly that her pillow fell to the floor. "HUH?" She reread the message. Then again. Then a third time. She typed a reply. Marie: YES HAHAHAHA. YOU? Leon: Yes. Marie: GOOD :D She waited. Nothing. Marie placed her phone on the bed. "Okay. Normal conversation. Completely normal. We are classmates. We are partners. We are civilized human beings." Her phone buzzed again. Leon: Can we meet tomorrow? I want to ask you more questions. Marie stared at the screen. Then she grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" From the other side of the wall, her mother shouted, "MARIE! ARE YOU BEING ATTACKED?!" "NO, MA!" "THEN GO TO SLEEP!" "OKAY!" Marie lay back down, smiling at the ceiling. She didn't know why she felt so happy. Maybe because Leon had remembered to check on her. Maybe because he wanted to talk to her again. Maybe because, for the first time, someone she had secretly admired from afar seemed interested in knowing her. She didn't dare call it a crush. Not yet. But she saved his message. Just in case. Then she opened her notebook and wrote a sentence on the first page. Lesson One: Love begins when you try to understand someone. She drew a tiny heart beside it. And underneath, she wrote: Tomorrow, I'll help Leon. She had no idea that three years later, Leon would remember that very first meeting and wish he could return to it. Not to change the way he looked at her. Not to change the words he said. But to stop himself from making the one decision that would cost him the girl who had taught him how to love. "to be continued..."