Sweet Treats and Deadbeats

CHAPTER 3: Making Friends

Madison

I pounded my head on the table once again. “Tina, I f****d Declan Walsh. What the hell is wrong with me?! How could I have been so stupid?”

We were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. It was only a little after six in the morning so my babies were still asleep. Tina heard me downstairs making noise and came to see if I was okay.

I thought back to yesterday. It had all started after we ate lunch. The kids saw a show on the Discovery Channel about fishing and decided that they just had to do that particular activity. I’d always tried to do fun things with them to make up for Tom being such a f*****g deadbeat, but we’d never gone fishing.

Both Sophie and Noah gave me their puppy dog eyes, and of course, I was putty in their hands after that. Tina volunteered to watch the kids while I went into town. I wanted the fishing supplies to be a surprise for them.

The first thing I’d done was pull up to a small convenience store to pick up some beverages. Sophie drank apple juice like water and Noah loved Yoohoo. I was only planning to buy enough to get us through the next day until I could do some grocery shopping.

When I’d walked up to the store, I saw a few kids harassing an older man who was sitting on the ground and drinking from a paper bag. He was clearly a drunk, but that didn’t mean that those little shitheads had the right to treat him like dirt.

I felt pretty safe in Port Townsend. It didn’t have the crime of a city like Phoenix, so I walked right into the fray. The boys turned away from the vagrant once they noticed me. A few of them made lewd comments about my breasts and ass. I gave them the finger and told them to shoo.

Luckily, the store owner came out to back me up. The shitheads scurried away like little rats. I hoped and prayed my babies never grew up to be like that. Even though Tom was a f*****g asshole, I had high hopes for my children. They were going to have the life that I didn’t.

I was about to apologize to the drunk, when I noticed he and I looked very similar. I’d asked his name and he told me that it was, Neal Smith. My heart beat out of my chest. I always knew that he lived somewhere in these parts, but I didn’t know he lived in Port Townsend.

He must have recognized me too because he stood up and offered me his hand. I called him a bastard and ran into the store. Unfortunately, Neal followed me. I hurriedly picked out what I needed and paid the convenience store owner, who was giving Neal and me curious looks.

I wasn’t ready to deal with my sperm donor, so I took off.

When I looked back in the rearview mirror, he was slumped on the ground again with his bottle. A part of me felt guilty and sorry for him. I kicked that mushy part to the curb. I had enough on my plate without taking care of a grown man who’d never shown any interest in me.

That was basically the mood I was in when I ended up at Howard’s Sporting Goods. The owner, who I learned was also a popular local pastor, came out to introduce himself to me. He invited my family and I to attend Sunday services. I didn’t believe in God, but thought it might be good for the children.

Mr. Howard put me at ease. His baby face, blonde hair, and blue eyes were oddly comforting. Everything had been going great until Declan Walsh walked in and f****d up my new life.

I had no idea how I was going to face him again. What if he was the type of man to brag about s****l conquests? I’d have a reputation before I even got established. Twenty-eight-years-old and I was still as f*****g stupid as I was at eighteen.

And, oh god, the s*x! I’d been up all night imaging Declan’s hands on my skin, his beautiful copper hair under my fingers, and that gifted c**k of his. Oh and his mouth. The look in his bottle green eyes when he f****d me was incredible. I’d never come so hard in my life.

Shit, now I’m wet again, I thought bitterly.

Tina waved her hands to get my attention. “Madison, where’d you go? I asked you if you’d like another cup of coffee.”

I nodded. Thinking of Declan did strange things to my mind. Sure, we f****d but it could NEVER happen again. He’s a playboy with way too much emotional baggage for me. Besides, I had my babies and that was really all I needed.

Try telling your p***y that.

Shut up, brain.

You want him so bad.

I do not!

Admit it, he’s like a drug to you. If he was here now, you’d let him f**k you over the table.

I was pretty sure that having arguments with my mind was not healthy. I gladly accepted the coffee that Tina put in front of me. After the first sip, I began to feel better. What I felt for Declan was lust, nothing more and nothing less.

Plus Declan had obviously used me, too. He’d basically called me fat by giving me that yoga card. He thought that I was okay to f**k, but probably wouldn’t be seen in public with me. I was used to it, though. Tom and my mom had always bemoaned my weight. I was always five pounds heavier than they thought I should be.

I could hear Rhonda’s voice in my head now. Madison, honey, you can’t afford to eat mashed potatoes or bread with your dinner. It will all go straight to your hips. Have a salad instead. Madison, dear, you really shouldn’t wear jeans. They make your fanny look huge. Madison, don’t even look at the snack section. I’m putting you on a diet again. Madison, Madison, Madison….

I always vowed to be the opposite of Rhonda. Sophie had always been trim and fit, but I never discouraged her from eating anything, as long as it wasn’t harmful to her health. I made sure she knew that she was beautiful and that I loved her regardless of her looks. I just wished I’d had that reassurance growing up.

“So, you and Declan Walsh. I still can’t believe you banged the Declan Walsh! He’s so famous, or at least he was before the whole tragedy. Do you think he’ll let you see his Oscar or maybe the Golden Globe? Was he as good in bed as the tabloids claimed?” Tina asked without taking a breath.

Unlike Tina, I had never really been into the entertainment world. I watched the occasional movie, but I knew next to nothing about celebrities. Declan and his deceased wife Sarah were two of the only celebs whom I recognized on magazine covers. They’d been such a gorgeous couple.

I groaned. “I don’t think Declan will be inviting me over anytime soon. We f****d in the back of his truck, end of story. I really just want to forget the whole thing. Besides, he’s dated some of the most beautiful women in the world. f*****g me was probably just a laugh for him.”whom

Tina patted my hand. “It can’t be as bad as all that. He must have found you attractive to want to have s*x with you in the first place.”

I shook my head. “No. I was just an easy target. He saw a plain woman who looked like she hadn’t been f****d in a while and went for it. He even asked me when the last time that I’d gotten laid was. I just hope that he doesn’t blab about my indiscretion to too many people. I would hate for my babies to be known as the bastards of the town w***e. When I was with Declan, I didn’t even think of my kids or the consequences of my actions. I can never let that happen again.

Tina frowned and added more sugar to her coffee. “Madison, every since I’ve known you, you’ve been putting yourself down. Just because that son of a b***h Tom made you feel worthless, doesn’t mean that you are. I’m not going to turn this into an estrogen-filled Lifetime movie lecture, but think about what I just said.”

I smiled. “Thanks, T. What are your plans for the day? We’ll have to rely on taxis until I can get the rental car back. When is your car arriving?”

Tina drove a classic cherry red Dodge charger. Guys in the diner were always offering to buy it but she would never sell. The kids and I were the only people she gave rides to. She really loved her car and knew exactly what was under the hood.

“It won’t be here for another two days at least. Do you have any ideas of what kind of car you might want? We could go to the local dealership and see what they have available. The only thing I ask is that you don’t buy a soccer mom car, like a f*****g Volvo.”

I giggled. “T, you know me better than that. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a minivan or a Volvo. I haven’t really thought about what kind I want. It’s so surreal that I, Madison Smith, can actually afford to buy a car.”

“Yes you can and you deserve it and more. As for my plans, I think I’d like to have a me day. I plan on vegging out and watching all the movies that I’ve missed over the last few months. Tell the kids that they’re welcome to come visit me. If you need me for anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

We kissed on the cheek, like we always did, before she departed. It was now after seven, and if I knew my babies, they’d be awake and hungry in a few minutes. I went to the stove and began making French toast and sausage. Noah loved when I made his into a smiley face and Sophie liked me to make star shapes using the sausage.

While I cooked, I went over the million and one things that I needed to do today. Sure, I could have asked Tina to help, but she always did so much for us. She deserved a break. I went to my bedroom and grabbed my laptop so that I could get information on places that I needed to visit.

I found an automotive shop that opened in an hour. I called and left the owner, a Jimmy, a message. Hopefully, they’d be able to fix the rental car. I really didn’t want to lose my deposit. Plus, we needed a short-term car.

Like clockwork, I heard little feet run into the kitchen. Thankfully, Sophie had washed her and Noah’s hands and face before they came downstairs. They both smelled of that sweet scent that only children exuded. I kissed and hugged them both as they sat down at the table.

“Mommy, where is Aunt T?” Noah asked, looking crestfallen that his godmother wasn’t at breakfast.

“Aunt Tina is resting today. We’ll be gone most of the day, but when we get back, I want you guys to leave her alone. She needs a break.”

Noah perked up. He was a very social child so any talk of running errands or going on trips excited him. Sophie, on the other hand, was more introverted. She never really had many friends, which I thought was ashamed because my baby girl was the best. I hoped Port Townsend would be different for her.

“Mommy, is there any apple juice? I really want some this morning,” Sophie said

Fuck. “Um, no, baby. The car broke down and I forgot to get the drinks out of the back. We’re going grocery shopping today so we can get some. In the meantime, you can have orange juice.”

She smiled and got the juice carton out of the refrigerator. Noah helped me set the plates on the table while Sophie poured us all a glass. I’d always loved having breakfast with my babies. We usually talked about silly stuff and just enjoyed each other.

After everything was done, I made the kids a plate. They both beamed and gave me a hug when they saw their foods made into shapes. All the extra effort was worth it to see them smile.

“Mommy, if we don’t have a car, how are we going to go to get groceries?” Sophie mumbled. Her little mouth was full of food.

I sighed. “Well, I was thinking that we’d take a taxi. We may have to wait for a while. There aren’t that many taxi services in Port Townsend. You just eat your breakfast. Let mommy worry about the hard stuff.”

Sophie was just about to say something else when Noah interrupted. “Ask Dean, mommy. He’s our friend.”

Jesus f*****g Christ! When did my five year old get to be smarter than me?

“That’s a great idea, Noah. I didn’t even think of Dean.”

I made sure that the kids were okay before going to find my phone. Halfway through dumping my purse, I realized where it was; the back of Declan Walsh’s SUV. I kicked the edge of my bed and cursed. Now I had to see that prick again.

Since the home phone wasn’t set up yet and I wasn’t about to bother Tina, I decided to run next door and ask Dean in person. I double checked to make sure that the stove was off and asked Sophie to watch Noah until I came back.

When I got to the front door, I found a note that had been stuffed through the mail slot. I broke the seal so that I could read it.

Hey sweetheart,

I know we didn’t end things on the best note last night, but I had a mechanic fix your rental car. It’s out front. Your cell phone and mace are in the glove compartment. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I programmed my number in your phone. Please, call me. We need to talk about some things. I hope you don’t hate me too much. I’ll talk to you later. Don’t make me stalk you. I’d really hate to go back to jail.

Declan

My mouth went dry. Why would Declan Walsh go out of his way to do something nice for me? And who the hell was sweetheart? Was I so unforgettable that he couldn’t even remember my f*****g name? I balled up the note and went to get the keys.

The car worked perfectly. It was a good thing, too, because I didn’t see Dean’s car at his house. He was probably already at work for the day. I went back into the house to tell the kids the good news. They were sticky and full. I decided that we could all watch some morning television before getting dressed. School was about to start in a week, so their lazy days were numbered.

We ended up watching a kids program on The Learning Channel. My babies were naturally smart. They both asked engaging questions. It was too bad I was so f*****g stupid. I hadn’t even finished high school because I left to marry Tom. However, I did get my G.E.D a year later. I was planning to take some online business courses to learn how to manage the shop once it reopened.

After the program ended, the kids and I went upstairs to get ready. Noah dumped his whole assortment of action figures into the bathtub. It wasn’t easy trying to bathe him while he waged war with his army men. By the time I was done, I felt like I’d done a full body workout.

Sophie was at the age where she preferred showers. I made sure that she had her favorite soap and shampoo and let her do her own thing. She did still like for me to wash her back, though. I am going to miss these times when my babies became teenagers. The thought made me sad because I probably wouldn’t ever have any more children.

I dressed Noah in a pair of jeans, a blue polo shirt, and his favorite dinosaur sneakers. After I brushed his wavy sandy brown hair, he went to play in his room. I used the break to take my own shower.

When that was done, I dressed in a knee length khaki skirt and a blue button down with a white tank top underneath. It wasn’t sexy by any means. I really didn’t own any revealing clothes. I had been a mother for so long that I never really dressed up. Besides, my ex never took me anywhere special. Plus, my clothing purchases came out of my paychecks from the diner, which I used to take care of my babies.

I was only in my bra and skirt by the time my baby girl walked in. She was wearing her favorite pair of jeans with a pink stripe on each side and the matching hoodie. I could see her unicorn shirt underneath.

“Hi, sweetheart. Do you need me to help you with you hair.”

“Yes, mommy. I want you to do the braids.”

I smiled. “Okay, just give me a minute, baby.”

She went straight for the vanity and began to play with the blush brushes and spray on perfume. I watched her with adoration. She really was a beautiful girl. Her mahogany hair was thick and curly, just like mine. She had her dad’s baby blue eyes, though. Both of the kids had long, thick eyelashes that I would have killed for. The only grown up I knew that had eye lashes like that was…Declan Walsh.

Fuck! Why does he keep invading my mind?

I mentally beat myself up and then decided that I should probably get laid more often so I won’t act like a total i***t. I believed I could probably convince some ordinary guy to f**k me every now and then. It would be a great stress reliever for me, but whoever I chose had to be discreet.

I was still thinking about my future s*x life when Sophie walked over and sat down on the bed. She watched me as I finished getting dressed. I knew that she was about to ask me for something because her right knee was shaking uncontrollably. She only did that when she was nervous.

“Mommy, I was wondering…. Can you take me to get my ears pierced before school starts?”

I cringed. This was one of those things that I feared. Today she was asking for an ear piercing. Next it would be makeup and then what, a tattoo? I was not ready for my baby girl to grow up. The thought of some boy picking her up for a date gave me heart palpitations.

I put my fears aside, though. Sophie rarely asked for anything. She was always a good girl. I could do this for her.

“Sure, baby girl. Since my ears aren’t pierced either, why don’t we do it together. You’ll have to hold my hand, though.”

Sophie sprinted off the bed and into my arms. I was just glad she didn’t know about the belly button piercing or the tattoo on my right ass cheek. I’d gotten those done when I was wild and reckless. Thank god Declan didn’t see the tat. I would have died of mortification.

I did my baby girl’s hair in the desired style and brushed through my own. After that, Noah came to get help with his shoes. We kept practicing the bunny rabbit shoe tying method, but so far he still wasn’t getting it.

Eventually, I was able to make it out of the house and buckle the kids into the car. I used to think that being a mother was easy. Boy was I wrong. It was even worse when you were a single mother. My kids could be a real handful sometimes.

Port Townsend’s main grocery store was packed. I had to park near the back. Several people stopped to gawk at us, like we were aliens or something. A few pointed and whispered. Thankfully, the kids didn’t seem to notice anything amiss.

When we got to the front of the store, I stopped and pulled out the babies’ safety whistles. I made them wear them every time we went somewhere crowded. I put a pink one around Sophie’s neck and a blue one around Noah’s.

“You both know what to do. If a stranger touches you or tries to make you leave with them, blow the whistle and mommy will come running. If you can’t get to your whistle, kick and scream. Got it?”

They both nodded.

All activity stopped the moment we stepped into the store. I smiled and proceeded to grab a buggy. There was no need to alienate my future customers and neighbors if it could be helped.

One brave soul did have the courtesy to introduce herself. She was a pretty woman with a soft face and long tawny hair. She was wearing the town uniform, flannel and jeans. Two little girls eyed Sophie from behind her.

“Hi, you must be Madison Smith. My name is Taylor Howard. I believe you’ve met my husband.” She pulled the little blonde girls in front. “These are my twin daughters, Poppy and Winnie,” she finished, shaking my hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Howard. Please, call me Madison. These are my kids Noah and Sophie.”

One of the girls, I think it was Poppy, complimented my baby girl on her jeans. The other sister, Winnie, seemed to be a little shyer. She quickly got over that and joined Sophie and Claire in conversation.

The girls giggled and played with Noah while I talked to Taylor.

For a moment, I thought that she was going to be one of those stuck up preacher’s wives who looked down on all unmarried mothers, but she surprised me. We actually had some things in common. I made a date for her and the kids to drop by the house.

Tye, as she asked me to call her, had a shift to work at their store, so she and the girls bid us farewell. Noah and Sophie were sad to see their new friends go. In hopes of cheering my babies up, I told them that they could go pick out a special treat as long as they stayed together.

I was gathering some things to make for our Friday dinner with Dean, when all of a sudden, a man bumped into my cart. I was just about to lay into him when I noticed the copper tuft of hair under his Yankees cap.

Declan Walsh. Well, f**k me.

He was wearing a dark blue flannel shirt that brought out his eyes and black fitted jeans that probably cost a small fortune. Surprisingly, he smiled at me. His eyes traveled from my bare legs to my breasts, where they lingered forever, and finally to my face.

“Sorry for bumping into you there, sweetheart. I was hoping I’d see you today and here you are. What’s up?”

I scowled and crossed my arms over my chest. “Nothing is ‘up’. I’m just doing some grocery shopping.

“Um…thanks, you know… for the car and stuff. Just send me a bill for what I owe you. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

A few store patrons had stopped to listen in on our conversation. Declan glared at them and they moved along. Nosy motherfuckers.

When I tried to pass him, he grabbed my arm. “We still need to talk about….last night. Can I come over later?”

I snatched my arm away from him and whisper yelled, “What more needs to be said? There’s no harm done as long as you keep your mouth shut. Oh, and you can take your yoga card and stuff it up your ass. I already know that I need to lose weight. I don’t need you to remind me. And the name is Madison, not sweetheart. I know this town is small, but I’d really appreciate it if we could avoid each other,”

Declan pulled off his baseball cap and ran his fingers through his hair. I trembled, remembering the way those long fingers felt on my skin. Get a grip dipshit. He’s just a man.

“What the hell are you talking about, Madison? You aren’t fat at all. I said that you could use yoga because you’re tense and stressed. Of course, I know your name. I called you sweet because of how you look and smell, but since you obviously hate it so much, I’ll stop. I thought you might be different but you’re just like all the others. I’ll leave you alone.”

I was just about to ask him what he meant by that, when the pitter patter of four tiny feet stopped me in my tracks. Noah and Sophie were back. They both stared at Declan as they placed their snacks in the cart.

“Noah, Sophie, this is Declan Walsh. He’s…um…he’s my new friend.”

Noah smiled. “Like Dean? Mommy, you’re really good at making boy friends.”

I blushed. “Thanks, sweetheart, but let’s keep that to ourselves, okay?” My baby boy nodded enthusiastically while looking at the copper-haired s*x god.

Did I really just call him a s*x god?

When I turned back to Declan, his whole face was lit up. He was smiling widely, too. I wondered what we’d done to make him so happy.

“Declan, these are my kids, Noah and Sophie Smith,” I said hesitantly

He bent down and did some kind of silly handshake thing with Noah. “Hey, little man. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Declan was so full of bullshit. I knew he hadn’t been dreaming of meeting my children. Hopefully, this would be the last time that he ‘bumped’ into me. He was a complication I definitely didn’t need right now.

Sophie kind of hid behind me. Declan very gently coaxed her out. He took her hand and kissed the back of it. “Hello, princess. You’re just as beautiful as your mother. Don’t be scared. I don’t bite.”

Both of the little traitors beamed at Declan. He laughed and engaged them in a light conversation about Spongebob Squarepants, which he said was a favorite of his. I seriously doubted that, but I wasn’t going to call him a liar in front of the children.

“Mommy, did you decide what you want to make for Dean’s Friday dinner? I think he might like hamburgers,” Sophie mused.

Noah shook his head. “Uh-uh, he wants corndogs.”

They argued for a few minutes, completely ignoring Declan and me. Oddly, Declan was glaring at me like I’d just kicked his puppy. I gave him a ‘what the f**k’ look, but he just shrugged.

“So, you and Dean Stone, huh? When did that happen?” There was so much hurt and pain in his eyes.

He couldn’t be….jealous? Could he? Nah.

“No, moron. Dean and I are just friends. I’m not looking to get involved with anyone. My main focus is on my children and their well being.”

Noah and Sophie took that moment to re-enter the conversation. Declan exchanged a few more pleasantries before taking off. He invited the kids and me out on his boat. Noah and Sophie were super excited. I told him that I would have to think about it. That hurt expression returned to Declan’s face.

As I watched him leave the store, I felt kind of bad, which was stupid. First Neal and now Declan-f*****g-Walsh, I really was a damn i***t when it came to men.

Declan

When I got home from the grocery store, I made myself a sandwich and sat down to think. I’d just met Madison’s children and actually talked to her again. Oh, and she looked f*****g hot! My palms had been itching to grab her breasts and kiss her lips, but luckily I’d managed to control myself.

I didn’t expect to meet her children so soon, but I was glad that I did. They were beautiful and sweet. Obviously, Madison was a wonderful mother. I saw how much the kids loved and adored her. That maternal side was very sexy.

As I bit into my turkey club, my mind wandered back to last night. When I’d arrived at home, I stayed up pacing and thinking about what I could do to apologize to Madison. She didn’t deserve that s**t I’d said to her before leaving.

I’d beaten myself up for an hour before I decided to call a mechanic. The only good auto shop in Port Townsend belonged to Jimmy. For whatever reason, the guy hated my f*****g guts. I knew he wouldn’t take an emergency request from me, not even for a lot of money. Thankfully, his second in command, Juan, didn’t have a problem with me and agreed to fix and deliver the car to Madison.

After that was done, I spent the rest of the night obsessing over my car s*x with the enchanting Madison Smith. Her scent was all over my skin and in my nostrils. Even though she was miles away at her own house, I still felt the weight of her luscious breasts in my hands. I wanted her again. It was like a physical ache in my whole body.

Seeing Madison with her family had only magnified my loneliness. My mom and dad rarely wanted anything to do with me unless it involved business. The only sibling I had was my half sister, Laurie, whom was spawned out of an affair my mother had with her personal trainer.

I’d been fourteen and an only child at the time that fuckery hit our family. Mom and dad separated but got back together before Laurie was born. Her biological father didn’t want a child, so my dad legally adopted her as his own. As of late, my little sis had been braving the fashion world in New York as a design student. I loved the girl, but she was a bit of a b***h.

Growing up, I’d always been told what a genius I was. My first script got bought by an indie studio when I was only sixteen. My parents let me move to Los Angeles with my uncle, Marc, who owned his own PR firm.

The movie did well, catapulting me to instant fame. I dated some of Hollywood’s hottest young models and actresses. Most of my days were spent drinking, f*****g, and doing drugs. I had snorted my first line of cocaine at my seventeenth birthday party and had done it up until…

Eventually, I ended up going to USC film school, where I graduated at the top of my class. By that time, my first script had been nominated for a SAG Award. A lot of pressure was put on me to write another award-winning screenplay.

I wrote between my drug and alcohol binges. Honestly, if someone asked me what happened in my life between the ages of eighteen to twenty-three, I would draw a blank. I was so wasted all the time. It was a miracle that I managed to write anything worth reading.

During the next few years, I penned some of Hollywood’s best screenplays. I garnered not only prestigious awards, but also huge box office receipts. The media dubbed me, ‘the boy with the Midas pen’. My uncle used my good looks to get me on the cover of magazines and guest spots on TV shows.

Around age twenty-four, I started to get burned out. I was jaded from so much success. I took a break, moved to Canada, and just wrote for myself. My manager had insisted that she be allowed to read the manuscript of my novel.

Unbeknownst to me, she sent it to a publisher who ended up buying not only that book, but also signing me to a publishing deal. After that, I became a bestselling author. My book signings were packed with adoring fans.

Everyone loved Declan Walsh, wonderkid. My managers snuck models into my dressing room to fellate me during lunch breaks. Women old enough to be my mom threw themselves at me. Every A-list actor and actress tried to woo me into writing a part for them. I went to all the best parties and met all the most important people. I was f*****g miserable.

It was around that time that I decided to write a romantic drama with a strong female lead. Every actress in Hollywood wanted the part. One night, I went to see The Glass Menagerie on Broadway. After the play was over, there was an after party at a trendy club in Tribeca.

A tall, gorgeous blonde with killer legs and big blue eyes had been eyeing me all night. I asked around to see who she was. It turned out her name was Sarah Davison. She was the understudy for the actress that played the Laura Wingfield character in the play.

We were introduced and immediately hit it off. For the first time, I actually courted a woman. I took her on expensive trips to Fiji and bought her lots of fancy jewelry. She moved out of her tiny New York City apartment and into my Los Angeles mansion. The media dubbed us the new ‘it’ couple. We were hounded by the paparazzi at every turn.

Sarah had big goals. She wanted to be a bona fide A-list actress. Every day, she begged me to let her audition for the lead role in my sought after project. After a night of coke binging and wild s*x, I agreed. I called a meeting with the studio head and the director. Everyone was worried that I was thinking with my d**k and not with my head. I took a leap of faith and assured them that Sarah could do the part.

In the end, she nailed the audition. Shooting began a little after that. Our relationship became volatile. Sarah wanted to tweak the script. I didn’t want to change anything. The part was emotionally demanding and the shooting schedule was long and hard. We’d spend hours snorting lines and arguing over script and direction. Our fights became tabloid fodder, which made the both of us even more famous.

The movie ended up being a critical and box-office success. Both Sarah and I received Golden Globe, SAG, and Oscar nominations as well as a slew of critics awards. Sarah won the Golden Globe but lost the Oscar and the SAG. I won the SAG and Golden Globe, but also lost the Oscar. The director, however, did win the Academy Award as well as the other awards.o

After that, Sarah became an A-lister and had her pick of scripts. I asked her to marry me. It was stupid, but I was getting older and figured it was as close to love as I’d ever come. I proposed while high on meth.

Our wedding was a circus. There were helicopters overhead and paparazzi everywhere. Plus, Sarah’s parents didn’t get along with mine. I was so high that I barely remembered that day. If it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, I was pretty sure that seeing her and snorting coke off of a tray was worse luck, which was exactly what we’d done.

Over the next few years, our public fights got worse. She cheated on me, I cheated on her, and the gossip mill reported it all. We split up, fought, and got back together more times than I could count. All the while, we continued our heavy drug use.

My next screenplay was the one which had finally earned me the Oscar. It was a dramatic thriller about a man who went insane trying to find his wife’s killer. The actor, Demetrius Bolden, also won the Academy award. The movie was a hit domestically and internationally.

Sarah’s last few films had been romantic comedies which didn’t done anything to expand her career. Critics were starting to call her a flash in the pan. She begged me to write her another Oscar-winning script but I couldn’t. Our fights escalated to the point of violence. I never hit her but there were many times that I had wanted to.

That was how we ended up in that car on that fateful night. If I’d known Sarah was pregnant, I would have done things differently. We could have kicked the drugs together and went on to raise our family. Instead, she and my baby were gone, while I was left to live a half existence.

After my very public trial, I went to prison. Because of my celebrity status, I got put into protective custody. The media called me a ‘murderer’ and ‘baby killer’. I hadn’t only killed Sarah and my baby, I’d taken away another innocent family. There was nothing the media said that made me feel worse than I already did about myself.

My mind was wandering into dark territory again when the howls of my old golden retriever, Brando, pulled me back to the present. I’d rescued him from an animal shelter in Los Angeles before moving to Port Townsend.

“How you doing, old boy? Hungry?”

He walked over and plopped down in front of the refrigerator.

“Guess so.”

I held up a package of steak and a package of fish. “Which one?”

Brando got on his hind legs, trying to reach the steak. My dog was a f*****g genius.

I pan fried the T-bone, because I only feed Brando the best, and set it in his specially made platinum doggie bowl. I also set out some Evian for him to drink when he finished. My sister was always getting on me about the way I treated my dog, but he was practically my only companion in the world.

The only real human friend that I had left was Joey Harper. We’d grown up here together, but his family had moved to Florida when I was a teenager. Over the years, we kept in touch and he’d come to hang out with me in Hollywood a few times. Since he didn’t approve of my heavy drinking and drug use, we eventually fell out.

After the s**t had hit the fan, Joey had called to reach out to me. We reconnected and became best friends again. He was currently out surfing the waves of Australia and winning tons of awards. He did promise to come back to visit when the main competitions were over, though. Just last week, he was on the cover of ESPN Magazine. I was proud, but I missed him.oey

When Brando finished eating, I tidied up the kitchen and went to work. I was still a bestselling writer but under an assumed pen name. People were reading my novels without knowing it was me who’d written them. That was the only way that I could continue my life’s passion because if anyone found out that Declan Walsh was the author of those books, they’d burn them in effigy.

I spent the rest of the night writing and thinking of Madison. I wrote several embarrassing poems and haikus about her body. I just wished she would let me in. I wasn’t looking for love or anything serious, but it would be nice to have a female friend with benefits.

Around eleven, I texted Madison to tell her goodnight and sweet dreams. She never replied back, which really wasn’t a surprise. She f*****g hated my guts. I was feeling down after that so I did a light yoga routine, showered, and then went to sleep.

I was awakened to the sound of my motion detector alarms going off. There were still a large contingent of people who thought I should be rotting in prison for my crimes. Some had snuck onto my property and left threats, notes, and graffiti. I’d hired a private security firm to make my land and home safe. Thankfully, there hadn’t been any problems until now.

I threw on a pair of jeans and grabbed my double barreled rifle. I never hunted but I kept it to scare off trespassers. I also had a semi-automatic; but from past experiences, I’d learned that the rifle struck fear into assholes better than the semi.

After making sure that Brando was safe, I stepped out the front door.

“Whoever you are, you have ten seconds to get the f**k off my property!” I yelled.

“What the f**k, Walsh?! Is this the way you welcome all your visitors,” Madison said, coming into view.

She was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a form fitting v-necked long sleeved violet t-shirt. Her hair was down and slightly wet. She glared at me as the alarm continued to blare. I was so mesmerized with her that I couldn’t move.

“Can you please turn off that damn noise before I go deaf?”

I motioned for her to follow me inside. I went to my control room and deactivated the alarms, effectively stopping the noise. Madison, who I finally noticed was carrying a brown paper bag, went into the kitchen.

When I got there, she was setting out a large coffee cake and a thermos of coffee. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I’d skipped dinner. Suddenly I was starving, but not only for food. I wanted to f**k her again.

I walked in the kitchen and sat down at the breakfast counter. “Um, Madison, it’s not that I’m not happy to see you, but why didn’t you call?”her

She looked up at me, biting her bottom lip seductively. I groaned and adjusted my d**k. There was no need to get my hopes up. Madison would probably leave soon and I’d end up starting the morning with my right hand and a bottle of lotion.

“This is a last minute thing. I’m headed to the pastry shop to meet with the inspector so I can open soon. I’d already baked you this blueberry coffee cake, so I decided to bring it over so you could have it for breakfast. I didn’t know you lived in f*****g Fort Knox, though.”

I laughed. “Well, thanks. Oh and the security is necessary. There are some people who wish to do me harm because…”

Madison smiled. “It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it. I understand. For what it’s worth, you’ve served your time. Don’t let a few loonies get you down.”

My heart beat increased tenfold. No one, besides Joey, had ever said something like that to me. Now I really wanted Madison Smith as a friend. She never ceased to amaze me.

oey

“So…” I began, my voice cracking, “would you, um, like to see the house?”

Madison waved her hands about and handed me a saucer with a huge slice of coffee cake topped with blueberries and fresh cream. “No, I can see that it’s huge and impressive and you probably have lots of fun toys, but I’m not interested.”

I cut into my breakfast and took a huge bit. It was heaven. I’d always liked her aunt’s coffee cake, but it was nowhere near as good as this. I ate the whole thing in five bites. Madison stared at me oddly before cutting me another slice. She also poured me a mug of coffee and set out my creamer and sugar. I noticed she was only sipping a bottle of water.

“This isn’t poison, is it? Why aren’t you eating?” I asked, teasing her.

She looked away and played with the ends of her hair. “I…I don’t eat the stuff I bake.”

I frowned. “Why?”

She balled up her fists. “You f*****g know why! Because I’m a fatass, remember?! If I eat carbs, my hips will expand making me even more unattractive than I already am.”

I dropped my fork. “I never called you fat! You’re perfect. I love your figure. Stop putting yourself down. You’re a gorgeous woman and a wonderful mother. I’d beat anyone’s ass who said otherwise.”

Madison’s watery eyes widened and her lower lip began to tremble. “I…I have to go. I just wanted to pay you back for taking care of the rental car situation for me. The check is on the table. Bye.”

She tried to rush past me, but I grabbed the belt loops on the back of her jeans. She struggled to get free. I turned her and wrapped my arms around her small body. Her sobs broke my heart as teardrops coated my bare chest.

“You…you can’t say stuff like that to me, Declan. I know what I am and what I’m not. You…you don’t have to lie just because we f****d,” she hiccupped.

I buried my nose in her hair and sniffed. Gardenias and honey, with just a touch of blueberries.

“Madison,” I said, kissing her forehead, “I would never lie to you.”

I released her and scooped up some coffee cake, cream and blueberries with a spoon. Then, I fed it to Madison. Her tiny mouth opened as her big doe eyes bored deep into my own. She moaned, which was currently my favorite sound. I continued to feed her until the saucer was empty.

Her breathing became ragged. Her n*****s were so erect that they were visible through her bra. She had her eyes trained on my bare chest. The atmosphere was thick with s****l tension and lust.

I moved closer and whispered in her ear, “Are you wet?”

She groaned. “Declan, we can’t do this again. It’s not right.”

I was so f*****g gone. My d**k was hard. There was no going back for me. I boldly dropped my jeans, pulled off my boxer briefs, and began stroking my c**k. Madison’s eyes widened as she backed up.

I looked into Madison’s eyes as I fisted myself. “What’s ‘not right’ is you denying yourself every pleasure in life. I know you want to f**k me just as bad as I want to f**k you. Give in, Madison. Live for once.”

She trembled. “I did ‘live’ once and it got me into a lifetime of trouble. Declan, this…this is not a good idea.”

I took Madison’s hand and placed it on my rock hard erection. “Tell me…tell me you don’t want to feel this inside of you, stretching your walls, filling you up until you burst.”

“f**k it! You better be quick. I have a meeting in an hour,” Madison said as she took off her clothes.

Two minutes later, she was completely naked and still stroking my c**k. I leaned down and nibbled on her ear, laying open mouth kisses until I reached her mouth. Her tongue was delicious and still sweet from the coffeecake and cream. She moaned and tangled her small hands into my hair. I cupped her ass and pulled her flush into me.

“Declan, condom?” she breathed, breaking through my all consuming lust.

I snarled. “s**t! They’re all upstairs or in the car. You’ll have to go get one because I can’t run in my condition.”

Madison giggled, the sound making me even hornier, as if that was possible. “Um, I guess we can go without a condom, if you promise to pull out. I’m on the pill, but better safe than sorry. Oh, and I’m clean. I’m assuming that you’re clean, too.”

I nodded. “You’re the first woman I’ve been with in five years. I had a vow of celibacy before that.”

Why…why did you break it for me?" she asked worriedly.

I pulled her back into my arms and nibbled on her neck. “I desired you. You intrigue me. I can’t figure you out, but I want to try.”

Madison sucked on my n****e, causing me to lose my train of thought. “Why would you want to figure me out? I’m not interesting or special.”

I gently cupped one of Madison’s large breasts before lowering my mouth and suckling. She tasted even sweeter than I remembered. Her small, curvy body fit perfectly with my lean hard lines. I picked her up.

“I beg to differ. I think you’re both of those things and more. Wrap your legs around me, sweetheart.”

We made out as we dry humped each other feverishly. My lower stomach was coated with Madison’s juices. She was bouncing around, trying to make my c**k hit her nub. I squeezed her ass cheeks hard and kissed her collarbones.

“Let’s go upstairs. I have a big, nice comfortable bed that’s never been christened.”

Madison panted, “No…no…I….I want you do f**k me here, against the refrigerator. I want to feel your hot steel in front and the cold steel in the back. Please, Declan.”

I awkwardly walked us over to the huge stainless steel refrigerator and pushed Madison against it. She reached down and aligned my d**k to her entrance. “Remember to pull out, Declan.”

I nodded. She felt tighter than the last time. We worked together, sliding my c**k in, inch by glorious inch. Madison closed her eyes and sighed softly. I rubbed her clit to get her to loosen her up. She rested her head on my shoulder as I finally eased in all the way.

At first I thrust gently, giving her body time to adjust to my girth. I knew she’d had some trouble with that last time. Soon, the frenzy took over and I began to pound her p***y hard.

She dug her nails into my lower back and chanted my name over and over again. When I pinched her n****e, she squealed, “Please, Declan!”

“Please, what?” I grunted.

“Make…make…make me feel good. I just want to feel good… for a little while.”

There was an underlying pain in her voice that tore at my heart. I lifted her chin and caressed her bottom lip. Our eyes locked as we continued to grind out lower bodies against each other. Suddenly, Madison’s walls constricted. She squeezed her thigh muscles together and came hard, whimpering my name.

I lifted her a little higher so that I could suck on her ripened breasts. She tasted so damn good. My greedy mouth bruised her n*****s in my intensity to devour all of her. Her hips moved to some imaginary rhythm that drove me wild. I continued to thrust into her soaked p***y as we lost ourselves in each other.

She reached down to stroke my shaft as it slid in and out of her p***y. I kissed her hard on the lips. I wanted to come inside of her so f*****g bad, but I’d promised. Plus, she was right, better safe than sorry.

“Holy hell! I…I need to pull out.”

I sat her back down on her feet as gracefully as I could and gently pulled my c**k out of her. We both groaned from the loss of friction. Madison’s small hand reached out to stroke me as my o****m hit. Thick globs of semen shot all over her palm and stomach. Some even got on the floor.

When I was coherent again, I dropped down on my knees and put Madison’s left leg over my shoulder. I made sure her other leg stayed anchored to the ground.

“What…what are you doing? She asked, squirming to get away from me.

I held her into place. “You were close. You didn’t think I was just going to leave you, did you?”

She rubbed my beard. “You really should shave. Now get up. I already came. You did fine.”

I shook my head and sucked on her protruding clit. “Anyone can do ‘fine’, Madison. I’m going for amazing.”

She pressed her body against the refrigerator and moaned as I licked her. I alternated between licking and sucking her clit, outer lips, and walls. She tightened her leg and made keening noises.

When I bit down on Madison’s tout, little bud, she screamed, “Oh, oh, Declan,” and fell apart. Her wetness gushed into my mouth. I swallowed every drop.

After she came down, she pulled me up and to her lips for a deep kiss. I hugged her small body to mine, basking in the glow of our intimacy. I didn’t ever recall s*x being so fantastic. Then again, I’d never had much s*x while sober. Boy, what I had been missing!

I gave Madison directions to the downstairs bathroom so she could wash up. While she was busy, I ran upstairs to do the same. I was cleaning up our mess when she came out of the bathroom. Her cheeks were flushed a beautiful dark pink that matched her swollen lips

I smirked. “Well, I must say, Madison, you sure know how to deliver breakfast.”

She scowled. “What is that supposed to mean?! If you think I do this with all the guys, you’re mistaken, I’m not…”

I took her hand and caressed the palm “I was just teasing you. I know you’re not a slut. Believe me, after years in Hollywood, I can tell.”

Something flashed in her eyes before she pulled her hand away. “Um, well, I need to go. I…I, um, guess we can do this again, if you want to?”

The horny adolescent in me jumped for joy. Madison was willing to let me f**k her again. I wanted to dance an Irish jig, but I settled for kissing her cheeks.

“Madison, how old are you?” I asked, suddenly curious.

“I just turned twenty-eight a couple of weeks ago, and you?”

“I’m thirty-four-years-old, but I’m in the prime of my life. The s*x we just had should prove that.”

Madison rolled her eyes. “Still a cocky little s**t, Declan. I actually thought you were older. The beard ages you. You should shave, but it’s up to you.”

I smacked her on the butt as she headed for the door. “Ouch, you asshole!”

I held up my hands. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

Madison hesitated in the doorway. “Friday night, be at the house by six. I’ll tell the kids my other ‘boyfriend’ is coming to dinner, too. I expect you to behave yourself in front of my babies. That means no groping, kissing, or s****l innuendo. Dinner won’t be as fancy as someone like you is used to, but I’m a pretty good cook. You don’t have to bring anything.”

A warm sensation spread through my body. No one had invited me to their home, since my fall from grace. In fact, no one invited me anywhere. Madison’s simple invitation touched me deeply. I would channel the feelings into my writing later.

“Thanks, Madison. I’ll be there. Please, consider my offer of taking you and the kids fishing on my boat. I’d love to have you. Oh, and can I bring my dog to the dinner? The kids will love him.”

She sighed and played with the straps of her purse. “Yeah, bring the dog. I’ll think about the boat thing. Um, have a good day, Declan.”

I made sure she got into the car and drove away safely. When I got back into the house, I tore up her check and threw it in the garbage. Then, I went to find Brando who was just waking up from his nap.

I leaned down and scratched his ears. “Guess what, boy? I just made my first real friend in years. Her name is Madison and she’s amazing…”