You Needed Me

Jazz's POV : I went to Singapore with my friends for summer vacation and as a treat na rin for our selves. For finishing up Senior High School with flying colors. I was our school's valedictorian and as a gift for doing a job well done, my grandfather and mother allow me to make the trip of course, all expenses paid for. There were so many things for me to be happy about. I got the highest honor in school, I will be legal adult in 3 months time. I have my friends. My grandparent's and my mom who are so proud of me, but I never felt truly happy. My father was not present on my graduation day. He has to go out of town again for a business trip. He did not even congratulate me when I told him I was the class Valedictorian. Tumango lang siya and started to walk away to the car na maghahatid sa kanya sa airport. But I did not take it to heart. He has always been that way. Kahit ano pa ang na accomplish ko, despite doing my very best, it seems it was not enough for him. I always view him as a perfectionist man. So I thought that what ever I got did not reach his standards yet. For him, what ever I accomplish was not the best yet. So I always made sure to do everything as best as I could, hoping that the day will come that he will be proud of me. But now I know, that day will never come. He just really does not like me. Kakarating lang namin ni mommy galing sa airport. I know my father is home dahil sinabi sa akin ni mommy over the phone. So I thought he will be with mommy sa pagsundo sa akin. But she's the only one na sumundo sa akin kasama ang personal driver ko na si Mang Popoy. I asked her why father did not come, hindi siya makatingin sa akin ng diritso, although smiling, her smile did not reach her eyes. And told me that father have visitors. And here I am now. Standing in our mansion's doorway, seeing my father laughing with his heart. Habang nakikinig sa sinasabi ng isang babae my age. I never saw him laugh like that. There was a glitter of tear in his eye. Tear of joy. And it breaks my heart. "Baby?" narinig kong tawag sa akin ni mommy ng hindi ako gumalaw mula sa kinatatayuan ko. Narinig din nang mga tao sa sala, causing them to look in my direction. When my father saw me, biglang nawala ang mga ngiti sa labi nya. And that breaks my heart more. "Jazmin, dumating ka na pala." he coldly said. "Yeah. I just got back." marahan akong lumapit sa kinaruruunan nila ng mga bisita nya. While silently composing my self and give the strangers a smile. "Mommy said you could not come to fetch me sa airport because of your visitors. Who are they?" Umupo ako sa isang sofa while looking my father intently in the eyes. Trying to search for even a little bit of sign that he is happy seeing me. But there was none. "This is your tita Selena." pakilala nya sa babaeng katabi nya, while carefully tapping the woman's shoulder. She's I think older than mommy. I don't like the way she is seating beside my father. It's as if they are sharing intimate relationship. It's not how my parents seat when they're together. They always seat as if they are talking business kahit nasa harap kami ng kainan. "And these are Jealena and Silvia," pointing to the two girls my age na nakaupo sa carpeted na sahig. "They are your elder sisters." His voice was low, but I felt as if a grenade was thrown my way. Para akong nabingi sa mga sinabi nya and I was shocked. And yet, that was not the most shocking thing I heard. "Selena is my legal wife." my father said. My eyes grew big. At napalingon ako sa kinatatayuan ng mommy ko. I looked at her with a pleading eyes. Hoping na sabihin nya sa akin that father is just joking. That his just making a Dad Joke. Aren't dad jokes like that? They think it's funny, but it was not actually. And growing up, father never made a joke. But once she saw my eyes, umiwas siya ng tingin, and slowly pinunasan ang luhang tumulo sa kanyang mga pisngi. With no choice, I face my father again. "You're joking right?" I ask with a bitter smile. Please let it all be a joke. Napabuntong hininga siya and signalled to my so called older sister's to seat on the vacant chair. "I'm not joking." he started. He looked at mommy then to me. "Your mom and I were never married." "What are you talking about? How come you are not married? You have a wedding picture, a wedding video. You were wed, and a lot of people attended your wedding." Kahit ayaw ko, nagsimula nang tumulo ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. "We are even living in the same roof with grandpa and grandma, your own parents. And yet you claim that mommy is not your wife?" I wanted to shout. And to be mad at him. But I can't. I am his perfect daughter. I must always show him that I am composed. "Our wedding was a farce. I was already married to Selena. And we already have Silvia the year your mother and I wed. I have to do it, since your grandfather will disown me if I did not wed your mom when we found out that she was pregnant with you." He explained with a straight face. It's as if, what ever he said is enough reason for this mess. Enough reason to explain his cold treatment to me. "So you're saying," I gulped, "that you are not my real father. And you just took the responsibility to save mommy's face." That must be, right? The only reason for him to be cold towards me, is because I am not his real daughter. I am my mother's mistake that he has to take responsibility kahit labag sa kalooban nya dahil mawawalan siya ng mana. "You are your father's daughter, apo." Narinig kong sabi ni lolo. I did not notice him. He was standing on top of the steps on the second floor. Marahan siyang bumaba while his male nurse aid is assisting him. He still look strong despite his age of 80 though. "Your mom and your father was betroth since they were children up until we found out that she is pregnant with you." My grandpa look at me with loving eyes. Lumapit siya sa kinauupuan ko and wipe my tears. "It's not your fault. Or your mommy's. This mess is all your father's fault. So you have nothing to be ashamed of. Because he even have the audacity to fool us. All of us. So no matter what other people say, you are our legal Casanova" I burst out crying. No matter how much I try not to, hindi ko mapigilang humagulgol ng iyak. Naramdaman ko ang pagyakap sa akin ni lolo. Telling me that everything will be alright. Hindi ko na alam kong paano akong nakapasok sa kwarto. They say, that a girl's father is her greatest shield. That he will protect his princess to the harshness of the world. And they will do everything to make sure that no one will break their daughter's heart. But here I am. Crying my eyes out, because my father once again decided to break my heart. ********** "Are we leaving?" isang araw tinanong ko si mommy, while we are having tea snacks in the garden. My father's legal family is living with us in the mansion. And a few of our family friends' circle has already learned about our family situation. Dahilan para hindi ako ganahang lumabas ng bahay. Pakiramdam ko, paglumabas ako, people will talk behind my back. And start mocking me. My friends were so worried for me at walang araw na hindi sila tumatawag para kumustahin ako. Asking if I am alright. And telling me, that no matter what happens, I still have their back. I am just so thankful for having them right now, kahit na hindi pa ako nagpapakita sa kanila ng personal. They wanted to visit me at home, but I declined. Ayaw kong makita nila how my father treats his legal family. So loving, so kind and so thoughtful. Malayong malayo sa treatment nya sa amin ni mommy. "Of course not." Taas kilay na sagot ni mommy. "We made a vow, although it was a farce for him, it was not for me. And dinaluhan ng maraming tao ang kasal na yun. I never knew that the wedding was null and void to begin with. Kaya kahit hindi kami totoong kasal. Ako ang hinarap nya sa maraming tao." she hold my hand and marahan iyong pinisil. "We did not ruin their family. We were the one fooled by them." I smiled. Mommy is truly a warrior. I am so proud being her daughter. She has always been my greatest supporter and confidant. And we are going through this ordeal together. And she was right, we did not do anything wrong. Although father, favor's his legal family, hindi nya kami mapapaalis ni mommy sa mansion. First reason, grandpa is firmly on our side. Second, now that it is known that they are really not married, if my mother will decide, she can pull out every cent my maternal family's wealth brings in the company and it will cripple the Casanova Corporation. And lastly, I have someone behind me that he can never offend, not even in his wildest imagination. Offending that person, means death to anyone's fortune and there will be no turning back from that. My father decided to out his legal family to give them the wealthy life they 'deserve' after all. So he has no choice but to live with us and just be civil with it. But of course, we look like a joke right now. Imagine, you and your mom living in a house with your father, with his wife and daughters. It's giving me headaches. Sabay kaming napatingin ni mommy sa gate when we saw father's car. I woke up around 11 am today, and was told by my nanny, Nana Pasita, na umalis si dad kasama ang legal family nya para mag mall at doon na daw sila mag lunch. The same scenario has been happening for a few days. Mukhang sinusulit talaga nya ang natitirang araw ng bakasyon. He spends most of his weekends out with them. Shopping, eating out and watching movies, I heard. He never did those things with us. Kami lang ni mommy ang laging lumalabas. He was always busy. Kung kumain man kami sa labas, it was never his idea. It was always because grandpa wants to and he cannot do anything about it. And when we did, he will talk to us with glee. It's always formal. As if he want's the nigh to be over immediately. I never understood it before, but now, I know the reason.