Bexleigh and the Beast

Bexleighs POV "OMG," my best friend Jess screamed into the phone, "Bexleigh, about time you answer your phone, I have been trying to get a hold of you all day." I put my truck into gear to back out of the parking space. "I'm sorry I was at work, is there a problem." "Well, it depends what you consider a problem. Jenson's back, he has apparently been back for a over a week and he's asking around about you." My stomach did a flip. It's not that it was a bad relationship, it just never offically ended. His parents had a farm about a mile down the road from our farm. We started "dating" when we were 13 up until my senior year of high school. He was a few months older than me, therefore I was a year behind him in school. He left for basic training sometime in October without a word, I never even knew he was considering the military. He left and I was left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. At that point I just hyperfocused on my studies and prayed for peace. He came back for a brief time before Christmas and stopped in to my dad's house to offer his condolences for the loss of my grandpa, my grandpa was my best friend so I gave him a quick thanks and an awkward hug before he quickly got in his truck and drove down the road. Then that was it for 6 years. I took my time and created my own closure. I was sick and broken, because despite being 18 when he left I loved him and I knew it. "You still there?" "Yeah Jess I'm still here." "Anyway he is trying to find you apparently he stopped by the farm and asked your brother if you were around. He said Braxton basically said you don't live there anymore and to eff off." "How did you hear this?" "Well I might have ran into him at the store. And he asked but I told him I would tell you he wanted to see you, and if you wanted to see him you would know where to find him." Such a good friend I thought. "Well atleast he doesn't know I moved out to Gramps farm, well yet, everyone in that town has a big mouth." "Especially Jules," me and Jess said at the same time. Jules, my step mom she is a gossip, her and my dad got married shortly after my mom died, me and my twin brother Braxton were 4 and dad was trying to run a 400 head beef farm and he didn't know what to do with us, he couldn't reinvent a life that had done him so well so he got a set up on a date by one of his friends and apparently they hit it off. I never believed it was so much love but more of a respect for each other. Jules was a hard worker and a great woman, despite her gossiping side. Apparently her fiance had died shortly after proposal and she never looked again. Jules took the farming and her parenting seriously, and that's what dad needed. They did eventually end up having a kid together, Hannah she's 14 now, but I don't think either of them ever really got over the loss of their other halves. "Well thanks for the heads up, I don't really want to see him I worked so hard to get over him, I don't know that I could get over him twice." "Whatever you need I got you, are you free this weekend? I kind of need some girl time, Jess asked. "Tomorrow I am helping out at the home health place for a few hours Daphne, Jules friend asked if I could help her out with a few paitents apparently her uncle, cousin grandpa, something is really sick and they are trying to get some care lined up for him. but Saturday and Sunday the only thing I have to do is study for my final and then be a certified Flight Paramedic. I took all next week off from the hospital to either drown my sorrows in booze or celebrate, either way there will be booze," we both chuckled. "What day are you taking your test?" "Well don't tell anyone yet because the more people that know the more pressure I will feel but Wednesday 9am." "Girl you were born for saving lives, don't get too worked up, but Sunday afternoon I want to hang then you have all Sunday evening to study." "Sounds good I will see you then, I said. "Yep, bye babes, she said. "Later," I said as I hit the end call button. Just in time to pull into the driveway at my house. I pulled in the driveway and my dog Rosie came running out of the barn, I gave her a good tummy rub before I walked into the horse barn to take care of the three horses I currently had. Two were going to go back to my dad's in the fall and one was being kept for a friend but it made it so things weren't so lonely. For Rosie and myself. I walked down the driveway to the barn and turned on the lights and the Bluetooth radio and hooked my phone up immediately my favorite playlist started playing. I changed out of my work tennis shoes and into the boots I kept in the small feed room inside the barn and I got to work scooping feed and passing out hay before I went and got the horses from the pasture. My grandpa's house sat on about 50 acres originally he left it to both me and my twin brother Braxton but he was going to eventually own and operate dads farm so my dad helped me get a loan to buy out Brax's half thanks to compliance on Braxtons end I barely had to pay anything and was able to get most of my school loans and the house and land paid for. The house was a 3 bedroom 2 and a half bath with the best flower gardens ever. It was maintained beautifully until my grandpa passed and shortly after graduation I moved here. My house and the farm were only about a 45 minute drive from each other separated by a big city, where I work. I started my prerequisites for the nursing program junior year due to us being able to go to a local college to get our credits and by the time I graduated I was able to be accepted into the nursing program. I was Bexleigh Armstrong, RN at 23, then EMT Armstrong by 24 and just recently started taking the bridge program to be a flight medic. A stressful month but nonetheless a good decision on my part. The hospital I work at is a level one trauma center and we have med flight there at least 3 times with a trauma the idea of being the first person with my hands on a patient has excited me since I got my RN. I finished up passing feed and went into the pasture and whistled for the horses grabbing their halters and guiding them into the right stall from the gate on the outside of the barn and shutting them. I walked back through the man door and started filling up water buckets and brushing through their manes and tails lost in thought about everything Jenson until eventually I got lost in the music singing along and acting goofy occasionally doing a little dance move until my foul mood started to lighten up. I finished the last horses tail and walked back out to throw all the feed pans back in the feed room giving a little spinning dance move looking at my feet and dropped the brush well sort of threw it I bent down to pick it up and turned around only to be met by a wide chest and the smell of men's cologne. I looked up to be met with a handsome face and that crooked grin I fell in love with all those years ago. Jenson Miles. My first thought being I used to run faster then him maybe I could make it to the house before he realizes what's even happening. I shook the thought almost immediately because I am not a child. "Hey Gracie Girl," he said meeting me with his nick name he gave me all those years ago. He used to not be able to pronounce Bexleigh when we were little but he could say my middle name, Grace, and that's just kind of what stuck. "How did you find out I lived here," I asked. Undoubtedly Jules told him. "It wasn't hard actually, I figured if you weren't staying around back home you had to be here," he said. Surprising answer I thought. "Also Jules told mom you own this and I thought just showing up would give me more of the advantage. I just wanna talk Bex." "Well, I worked really hard to come up with my own closure and I really am not that interested in talking. You could have talked to me anytime from the time you decided to leave until the day you actually left. The time for talking I feel, is over." "Bex, come on what was I supposed to do, if I tried to tell you, you would ask me not to go, and I don't think I could tell you no." "You have to be kidding right?" I said rolling my eyes, "When have I EVER tried telling you what to do. It was that time in our life where we both had decisions to make I talked about mine. Why didn't you talk about yours? We were best friends our whole lives and you didn't even respect me enough to give me a heads up. I loved you Jenson, I supported you I was always on your team all you had to do is say something, I would have waited for you, instead I was FORCED to move on." At this point I was blinking back the tears I refused to cry 7 years ago. I went to turn around to go finish putting stuff away so I could get away from this man when he grabbed my arm. "Please Gracie Girl just take some time and hear me out. Don't walk away." My head was screaming don't walk away? Like you didn't walk away? But I didn't say it outloud. "Let me finish up in here ad we can talk at the house. I just have to change my shoes and shut out the lights," I said turning around again to go to the tack room this time he didn't try to stop me. "Okay," he said softly. His voice was deeper, his chest was wider, the skinny boy who left all those years ago, came back a man. I went into the tack room and took of the boots and slid back into my tennis shoes not bothering to tie them and shut off the light. I went over to the big door and looked at him just staring at the floor. "You coming or you just going to stand here in the dark," I asked. He shook his head and started walking toward me again. I waited for him to take a few steps out of the barn before I shut off the light and closed the big sliding door. We walked up the driveway to the house in awkward silence it seemed even the crickets and frogs knew today was a good day to stay quiet. We made it to the front porch where I held the door open for him and let him and Rosie in. "You can go sit on the couch I'm going to change out of my scrubs," I said flipping the light on and pointing in the general direction of the sofa. He made his move to go one direction and I turned around to head up the stairs. I made it to my room and grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. My two options were make him wait or hurry up and get this over with. I chose the later unsure if it was for my sanity or his. I changed, tossed my hair up into a messy bun and headed down the stairs. Jenson was standing looking at the picture of the wall my grandpa had up. The one he was looking at currently was the one with my mom standing on his porch me on one hip Braxton on the other. "You're basically her twin," Jenson said gesturing toward the picture. With her blonde curly hair and big green eyes, she stood there dressed in her long sleeve flannel and a pair of shorts, barefoot and beautiful. Her short stature about 5'6" and petite size. Her smile lit up her whole face. Her eyes often shifted between the green color and a blue color both being beautiful. And so distinguished it was hard to believe they changed to a different color. She was beautiful. Naturally without make up or dressed in her best, no matter what she was radiant. She had the whole world fall to her feet. Sweet, beautiful, and brilliant. I love it when people say I looked like her. But here tonight, feeling the chipping of my once terribly put back together heart it felt like an insult. Like if he said it again the gods would make the house fall. I hated the fact that he broke me and I loved him enough, still after all this time, he could do it again. So instead I sat down in the rocking chair crossing my legs. "So you said I needed to hear you out, lets go. Let me hear it." Jenson took a deep breath and sat down on the sofa. "It wasn't fair what I said earlier Bex, about you talking me out of leaving. I know you wouldn't have. Honestly I don't think you would of had to say anything just seeing your heart break in those big blue eyes of yours would have made me immediately change my mind. I decided to talk to a recruiter two weeks before I left. We needed something more stable than a farm and some unruly cattle to cement our future." Apparently my career path that I knew I was going to take since I realized my mom died in an accident wasn't good enough, I didn't interrupt though I figured I would let him finish. "I made a mistake Bex I get that, I thought about that the whole way to Oklahoma. The look on your face when you texted me and never got a response and to make it worse I got all 15 text messages all at once I felt all the feelings you felt over a month in the one hour I was actually allowed to have my phone. I loved you Bex, I made a bad choice but I want to try to make it up and work it out. Or at very least gain some closure. I don't expect it tonight or tomorrow but at some point I would like to go back and be as close to friends as we can get." He looked down at his hands, I found myself staring at his hands too. Would we still be together if he hadn't left? Or would we have wound up even more broken if we had to stayed together? Would I have finished my degree if I had him to fall back on? All the woulds hit me at once, followed by the coulds. Could I forgive him? Could we pick up where we left off. If I jumped back into his arms tonight would we be more broken or would the pieces come back together. Was it worth trying? His left thumb started circling his right and I looked back up at him. "I don't know Jenson, I am going to have to think about all of this. It could hurt even worse this time and I don't know that I am ready for it. I will text you in a couple days when I am ready to talk more but I think it's better to leave it here tonight." I saw the disappointment in his eyes but I only hope he also saw the hurt in mine. He nodded his head and stood up. I also stood up and showed him to the door. "I still love you Gracie Girl," Jenson said with his same old crooked grin it seemed less attractive then it did an hour ago but this man still looked incredibly handsome. Five foot 11 inches tall dark brown hair and his eyes looked like chocolate. His chest wide and strong arms and hands. Much different than the 19 year old who left me on the porch after telling me he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me, just to disappear the next day. I just nodded my head. It would be so easy to fall back in love with him tonight, just tell him to stay my heart screamed, just tell him you love him back! I watched him walk down the porch stairs and over to his truck. He took one last look at me before he opened his door. "You really are even more beautiful than the last time I seen you." "You really are just as ugly as the day we met." I smiled at him, and he smiled back. I don't know what came over my body, because there is absolutely no way I had control of it anymore, but I started walking toward him. He shut his truck door and started making his way back to me picking up his pace each step toward each other full of desperation. Finally we reached each other both wanting the same thing but both hesitating to grab each other. "f**k it," he said as he picked me up of the ground and I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He started walking up the porch stairs with me and gently pushed my back against the siding he looked me in the eyes and gave me the most passionate kiss I think I have ever experienced with him. There was only one problem the butterflies that were once there hadn't even tried to make an appearance. I felt nothing.