Benevolence

Chapter 2

A surge of emotions engulfed him that day he went to school. The anguish, pain, humiliation, betrayal and anger that he felt were incomparable to anything he had endured during his school years.

This was mainly because it was his best friend who was the root of the emotions. He was the one who had made him feel very bitter. He had felt as though his heart had begun to crumble within his chest into his hands as Theo stood, watching the pieces fall with detached coldness.

His happiness did not last long that day as you can imagine and the events shattered any goodness he felt in his heart as he fell victim to the casual cruelty of having his trust betrayed.

I wish I had acted more level headed or with more thought. But that is not me and I know I would never have been able to think clearly or at all during the moment where embarrassment was sonorous, ringing in my head.

I don't trust easily. In fact I rarely trust anyone as many before have abused said trust of mine and so the ones who do get it should guard it carefully. I judge anyone I trust according to what they do to my trust. My two closest friends don't know everything about me and I am careful to balance my trust. It's safer to not put all your trust in one basket.

He got to school on record time for once as he didn't take the long routes that he normally took. Then when he arrived he actually took in the impressive build of the institution he had gone to for two years. He had never really taken in its majestic elegance before. It stood before him lofty, with its two square shaped towers shooting towards the sky like a soldier standing in ready command to fight. Regal, it looked fit for royalty to inhabit with its church-like sharp prismic windows curved with a razor sharp tip. The entire building was swathed in a layer of rough crimson red which made him gasp in awe.

How come he hadn't noticed how beautiful his school had been? Vines of roses and hydrangea spread out over the edges of the building curling upwards. Nothing was out of place and by god if the door itself wasn't a sight to behold.

Vast, it took up most of the front with two large windows on either side. It looked to be made of smooth mahogany carefully crafted to meld within the Tudor arch which emphasized its historic importance.

He jumped as the bell rang out from the giant speakers at the side of the grey concrete playground. He kept a tight hold over his bag knowing that if he did not it would be used as target practice. For once he was quite proud that he went to such an amazing school which was probably rich in its history. He would look it up properly at lunch.

He looked down at his uniform which consisted of a smart pair of dark cinereous trousers with simple and comfortable black shoes. His crisp, white, buttoned-up collar shirt with a breast pocket had the school's logo on it. The logo really was something. It was of four flowers spread out on an oak tree with the school's name written at the roots. There was a purple tulip, a simple white daisy, a zingy orange and yellow amaryllis and a blue bachelor button flower. These were the four flowers of the refined school each with deep symbolism behind it. They were also the houses of the school where they would work together in their house against the others. However that didn't mean they would be awful to other houses.

They mingled quite a lot with other houses since truthfully your house only mattered in competitions and in the classroom. Well not him as much seeing as everyone stayed away from him.

They had to take a quiz to see which house would be theirs and this quiz would be checked by the head who would decide their flower.

Now the meanings.

The purple tulips were insatiable sun seekers and would turn their heads in crazy angles seeking out the best angle for light. This made them a symbol of opportunity, adjustment, advancement, and aspiration. They were thought to represent fulfillment of spiritual awareness too.

Then the white daisies were known to be one bubbling with happiness, having a positive outlook and appreciating the simple and positive things in life.

Amaryllis, the brightly coloured bloom, means to be in harmony with oneself and others accepting your personal magic and the magic of one's spirit and soul. Realizing you were beautiful and unique.

Finally the deep blue bachelor button was the embracement of one's youthful freedom and the anticipation of fulfilling the dreams you grip tightly to your heart. It also conveyed confidence and abundant energy, hinting at a touch of charming bravado.

Why am I going into such detail you ask? Well the thing is the education system had decided that all schools private would have the these house. In order to increase competition and to increase social meetings. It was one of the best laws really.

Recession had hit the world hard maybe except the USA and the UK were the first to jump back. The houses are made to help us all live in harmony as all of them hold beautiful meanings.

It hadn't work that way for him really. Since it just so happened that Liam was in his house.

The purple tulips.

With that last thought his grin fell into a smile and he strode purposefully towards R and Theo who were talking animatedly by the door, in hushed couple whispers nose to nose and chuckling.

R was sporting a neat white blouse tucked into her black knee length skirt. Her blazer was fitted stylishly against her curves and she wore her slightly, curly scarlet hair down where it tumbled to her abdomen. Her side fringe was lazily draped across one eye which was emphasized mostly by her vibrant black hair band. Her wild hair was tamed today which is how it had been since she had had a crush on Theo.

Why did girls worry so much about how they look? Honestly she constantly plagued him with questions about her appearance. Like was her hair alright? Was this outfit sexy? Was it too much? Or was it too casual? Did she look fat? Were there any pimples or zits on her face? Was she trying too hard? Were her clothes too weird? And the list went on…

They would just keep coming and never stopped. He'd been glad when he'd finally convinced Theo to go for it but now he kind of missed her. He hardly saw them outside of school anymore.

It was good for her though as she had come out of her shell and became the girl he saw privately become public too. She was no longer hiding.

Being in a relationship had gave her the confidence that she was beautiful and fun which she'd never had just as friends. What an amaryllis!

Theo had been leaning on a wall as he saw him with a lazy yet graceful grin. Every time he saw that grin his heart did a back flip. He had known for a long time that he was infatuated with his best friend. He had, yet he could and would never tell him because it would ruin everything they had together, since Theo was straight. Proven countless times over and over. It hurt but he was lucky he even had a friend like him.

His uniform was elegantly messed up. Slung over his gently creased arm was the shoulder of his blazer which was also fitted. His entire uniform was fitted, loosely but still enough, with his three buttons undone at the top of his shirt and sticking to him in all the right places he looked like a model. He was a walking masterpiece which he couldn't help but feel jealousy towards R for having an opportunity he would die for.

He cringed inwardly as he imagined the reaction he would receive if anyone found out what he was thinking. If Theo wasn't so obviously a ladies man and totally in love with R he might have stood a chance because he wasn't bad looking.

The glasses probably ruined his chances most even though they were the most in glasses he was quickly stereotyped as a nerd. They were slightly oval- rectangular glasses with a thin black frame. He knew a lot of the girls had a crush on him. He was well aware of that but he couldn't help his attractions.

Behind the lenses were vibrant forest green eyes that looked different depending on his mood. If he was angry they would become this intense cutting green and a bit bright too. If he was happy they would get a lot lighter; a dark apple green. Mostly, as he was generally broody, angry, sad and wary they would be a dark swirling forest green. He knew many thought of him as mysterious and unapproachable. He wanted to keep it that way.

There was no good in being an open book.

His eyes appeared quite large behind his glasses which people liked to tease him about, calling him an owl but without the glasses they were overshadowed by his long lashes. He had gotten his father's smooth jaw line sharpened by his acclaimed ‘high’ cheekbones. A pale rosy red flush was permanently at home over his cheeks and he had a small mouth which embarrassed him often as they never seemed to shut. After ever single attempt to close them he would find then slightly open a bit later.

No wonder no one ever approached him. He knew however why they couldn't and knew they would if they were allowed to. At least a few would but if Bella and her crew found out they would be toast.

His entire reputation had been ruined when he said no to her during the first week. He was not a weak minded person and he could see clearly why she wanted him but he didn't need something like that. Not after mum.

She had never expected to be rejected though. It was a shock to her he could tell. The way her small rosebud mouth formed a shocked ‘O’ and her almond-shaped dark hazel eyes had widened behind her elaborate mascara lashes framework. Her perfectly French manicured and pedicured pale peach fingers came to her mouth. It was quite satisfying to see the fact that not everyone was in love with her hit her in the face as her faintly tanned face paled. Before he had known what was happening her soft, satiny hand had smacked him in the face.

It was his high school inexperience that had turned down the queen bee.

And it was his entire sorry high school existence that was suffering for it.

It would have been great to go with someone just to flaunt it to her but they had all been warned off. How embarrassing would prom be this year if he came without a partner?

Mark had also picked on him because of his past day or two long encounters with Bella. They were going out now but he had not forgotten that he had been the first one she'd asked. Not that he asked her to.

He wished these people would just use their heads once in a while and not the way Mark currently does.

So both these people managed to make his years torturous for linked reasons yet Bella still tried to get him to say yes.

Good lord where on earth does she get ideas to pick guys up? The techniques she's used these years have pushed him further away rather than pulled him closer.

Sometimes he just wished she could be as genuine as those girls his dad was looking for. Even if she was though (which was unlikely) he would still not go with her because he would not be genuine.

Since all he wants is Theo.

But maybe if he can't have him then he should get on with life like a man because he knows it's impossible to think he will ever have a chance.

Maybe he should let Theo go.