Facing The Past

| Chapter Four |

I could taste the toothpaste off his breathe and somehow that brought me out my trance. My hand smacked his cheek snapping his face to the side. My palm stung with the contact, but I just slowly placed it by my side. 

 "Don't dare try that again." I remarked dryly my underlying fury clear. 

Slowly, painstakingly so, he brought his head round so those fury filled brown eyes met mine. I took a deep breath standing my ground. Suddenly those muscles seemed a lot bigger, intimidatingly so. That stare on my skin felt like someone was sucking the air out of the room. I was very aware that it was just the two of us, locked away from the world. 

 Grabbing my waist in a tight grip I could see his jaw tense. He pushed me back and I had no choice but to move. My back hit the cold concrete wall, I gasped at the contact. Words failed me, I could only stare up at him, he captivated me in that moment, the sheer intensity of him was suffocating.

"I probably deserved that." His voice was gruff.

I could feel that grip tighten on my waist, feel the power of him and I was drunk on it. His eyes hadn't broken from mine. He stared at me, darkly as I swallowed. 

"You do this to me." His erection was pushed against my belly and I knew he saw my eyes widen with the smirk that was on his face. "You always made me hard as lead."

"Adrian." It was a moan and I hated myself for it. 

"f**k, Sydney. Don't say my name like that." He groaned closing his eyes tilting his head back, I could practically feel his erection throb through his jeans. 

“Do you understand how many dreams I’ve had with me buried inside you, how many nights I’ve woke up wanting you there with me so I can take you? You were always mine.” He hadn’t looked at me and I frowned at his words.

“I’m not yours anymore, I haven’t been in a long time.” I whispered trying to somehow stop my body from overheating.

“You’ll always be mine and you know it. No other man will come close to what we have.” He laughed his eyes meeting mine.

“What I have now is real Adrian so in my opinion that is better.”

“Get the f**k out.”

He let go of me like I had just slapped him again, I guess I had with my words. I stood there the coldness of the air hitting me without him so close. Taking a shaky breath, I tried to get control of my jelly legs.

“Are you deaf, get out.” He sounded so flippant.

I didn’t even answer him, I walked towards the shutters and unlocked it with the key I had. Quickly I vaulted for my car and just as I opened the door it was slammed shut. The heat of him behind me was clear as that breath dusted over my shoulder.

“Lie to yourself all you want Sydney but we both know; no other man can please you like I can. I know what we had, and I know how you still react to me. It’s only a matter of time before you’re in my bed again.”

I would have called him out on his words but the car that drove up had my attention. Watching the red haired, green eyes woman get out an instant fire took my heart.

“You have got to be kidding me.” I spat.

“Sydney.” She walked over hesitantly.

“Leave, Mary.”

“We need to talk, I heard you were back.” She stood awkwardly folding her arms. She hadn’t changed much since I last saw her, these five years had been good to her.

“We have nothing to talk about.” I pulled open the car door, this time Adrian stepped back letting me.

“Please, we used to be friends. I miss you.” I froze at those words.

I had enough of this whole situation. I hated this place; I hated these people. Honestly if I had something in my hand I would have bloody well smashed her car up with it. She had such a cheek coming to me after what she had done.

Storming over to her she stepped back cautiously. I almost laughed at that, when we were in school she was always the tough one, the one who took no crap and yet here she was cowering before me.

“Actually, we used to be best friends but maybe if you weren’t such a slut we still would be.” I shouted.

“It wasn’t like that, it just happened. It was an accident.”

“So, my boyfriend accidentally slipped his p***s inside you and you accidentally let him? I don’t think that type of accident is possible.” I sounded like a woman possessed but this was a long time overdue, I had held onto this anger since it happened and suddenly it was at boiling point.

“We were young and drunk.”

“I don’t’ care, do you hear me I don’t f*****g care. You slept with him knowing how I felt about him, you were the one I told everything to, you knew how much I loved him, and you went and slept with him regardless. Being young and drunk isn’t an excuse, it’s just a pathetic explanation.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I. I’m sorry I thought you were a good person, I’m sorry I trusted you and I’m damn well sorry I met either one of you.”

I turned to Adrian and the smug look had been wiped of his face, if I was reading him right he looked almost guilty and a bit scared of my reaction.

“And for you.” I pointed my finger at his chest. “I will never be in your bed, never. Her however, well she’s the one you cheated on me with so hey, give her another go. She is a slut after all. The two of you deserve each other.”

None of them spoke as I got into my car, none of them moved. I reversed nearly knocking Mary over, she dodged it just in time. Driving past the two of them I didn’t look at them directly, but they watched me go, them both standing there in my wing mirror like I had just shocked the life out of them.

I got to the house quickly, too quickly. Speeding on these roads was dangerous but my anger didn’t seem to account for that. Slamming the door, I ran up to my room. I sat at my dressing table looking into my eyes as the tears fell. I watched myself sob, the tears drenching my cheeks as I stared at how pitiful I had become. This was exactly what I didn’t want to happen.

I had been back five bloody minutes and I had let him get the better of me, how could I let myself become that person again?

“He has no power over you.” I whispered.

The words didn’t even sound convincing, they were just as pathetic as I looked. Deep down the brutal, ugly realisation was there. Adrian was right, I reacted to him the way I did for a reason.

He had always affected me; he had always managed to get under my skin.

“You’re better than this.” I whispered to myself probably looking crazy. Wiping the tears, I took a deep breath knowing I had to get myself together.

This had all gone down five years ago, I had to just forget about it, forget about them. They had betrayed me. My best friend and my boyfriend had scarred me for life. They were the reason I couldn’t trust; they were the reason I struggled to make good friends.

Somehow I was the one suffering for their actions and it wasn’t fair. I hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

Taking my phone from my pocket I smiled at my mums’ photo, she was posing next to my Dad who looked like he had woken up again, he had a weak grin on his face. About a year ago she had learned how to use her phones camera, I got about 5 photos a day as a result but this one I would treasure.

Another text had come through and it was from Nick. He said he had managed to get time off work and that he would be here in two days. That smile on my face got bigger, I missed him, having him here would make things so much easier.

He was my future and this whole mess was my past.

I text him back saying I couldn’t wait to see him because honestly I couldn’t. Going into the bathroom I washed my face, hoping the tears were long gone now. I had to get back to my Dad.

Going back down to the car I got into the driver’s seat laughing bitterly. I still had the spare on, I was still going to have to get the tyre changed which meant seeing Adrian but that was a problem for another day.