Facing The Past

| Chapter Seven |

I had been dreading this shift. Working another job was bad enough but when you have to go work with Adrian it seemed ten times worse. Knowing about his Mum made things feel awkward because I didn’t want to just bring it up, I just didn’t know how to approach the situation. I wanted to be there for him, but it wasn’t going to be easy.

Parking my car, I walked up to the garage, the shutters were open showing the bright lights inside. Adrian slipped out from under a car when he heard me approach.

“Good, you’re here.” He stood dusting off his trousers. “It’s quiet tonight, we have an MOT that needs doing for the morning. You do all the checks; the check list is over there to refresh your memory and I’ll sign it off when you’re done.”

“I mean a hi would have been nice.” I snarked

“Would it?” He dismissed walking away.

He infuriated me, completely and absolutely made my blood boil. There were no words. I just stared at him with narrowed eyes as he got back to work like he wasn’t the most arrogant man on the planet. Being his friend was definitely going to take patience.

“Dickhead.” I seethed under my breath as I turned to the car.

The MOT didn’t take long and that was probably because when I was angry I worked faster. There were no faults, the car wasn’t that old, and it had been well taken care of. It was an easy one for my first car back in the mechanic world.

“Sydney, visitor.” Was Adrian's clipped voice.

I frowned as I walked out seeing Nick getting out his car and coming over. I wasn’t due to finish for another hour, and he knew that, so I didn’t know why he was here.

“Is my dad ok?” I questioned quickly hoping he was.

“He’s fine. I just wanted to come see you.” He pulled me into a rough kiss that would surely bruise my lips.

“Oh, I finish in an hour.”

His blue eyes narrowed a little as he looked behind me at Adrian. He once again looked at me a pointed stare on his face.

“I’d rather stay and wait for you.”

“Nick, I’ll be home when I’m done. There’s no point in you waiting about.” I pushed.

“Can you not come home now?" He retorted; an underlying annoyance clear in his voice.

“No, I finish in an hour. I told my dad I’d cover this shift and I will.” I didn’t like when he was like this but recently it seemed to be all the time and it was draining.

He didn’t even respond, he stormed off to his car and drove away like a thirteen-year-old who just got told he wasn’t getting anymore pocket money. I sighed in despair, pleasing people was harder than it should be sometimes.

“You really deserve better than him.” Adrian remarked.

I turned around not expecting him to be so close. His dark eyes bore down on me, assessing me, reading my every move.

“He’s a good guy.”

“Men like that are anything but good. He’s controlling.” He stated as he walked over putting the tyre back on one of the cars.

“He’s not, he’s just caring. We haven’t spent much time together and now I’m working here too.”

“Syd, all he has done is spend time with you. Your Dad said he has been up your ass since he got here, that he won’t give you time to breathe. He’s pulling down your top the other day like he was trying to hide you and now he’s showing up at your work when he knows you don’t finish for another hour. Open your damn eyes and see him for what he is.” He rambled the veins on his forehead bulging.

“Why the hell are you talking to my dad about my business?” I screamed.

“It was your dad that brought it up not me so wind your bloody neck in.” He shouted back.

“You don’t even know him so stop judging; it isn’t like your boyfriend of the year.”

“Maybe so but I never mistreated you like that; he’s trying to get in your head so that you act and do what he wants. I must have really screwed you up for you to be so blind to that.”

I could feel the tears building, those angry tears that just don’t stop no matter how much you want them to. I didn’t have the energy to respond I just turned and walked to my car. Getting in I drove away but the place I ended up at certainly wasn’t the place I expected to be tonight. The tears were still coming but I wiped them away and walked up to the old worn porch. Chapping the door, I waited.

Gasping at the fragile woman that opened I barely recognised her. She smiled at me then frowned as she lifted her shaking hand up to wipe away my tears.

“Don’t tell me those tears are because of my son? They were the last time you came to my door looking like this.”

I laughed shaking my head still not able to speak. Adrian's mum wasn’t the woman she was, you could see the sickness eating at her, those eyes held that pain.

“May, I’m sorry.” I whispered realising just how sick this woman was.

“Oh, don’t you apologise. Come in.” I walked past her into the living room. It was still the same, the old patterned couch sitting straight in front of the TV.

“Have a seat dearie.” I sat as she slowly made her way over sitting beside me.

I took her hand in mine squeezing it as I looked up at her. She squeezed mine back a barely their smile taking her face.

“If I’d have known you were sick I’d have come back to see you.” I wasn’t even just saying it, I would have. May didn’t deserve this, she was one of the kindest, nicest women I knew.

“Listen Sydney, cancer may have me, but it hasn’t taken me yet and I’m not going to stop anyone’s life just because I’m sick.”

She pulled off her wig, the bald head shinning from the lamp in the corner. Rubbing her head she smiled at me, a truly genuine smile that I couldn’t help but copy.

“It’s liberating shaving your head. The day I woke up with a clump of hair on my pillow I walked straight into the bathroom and shaved it. Cancer can take a lot from you; it can take time and hope and strength, but I didn’t let it take my hair. I shaved that and it was such a powerful moment.”

“It suits you.” I smiled.

“Does it heck. It just shows you though that no matter how beat down you are, you always have some power to take back. Life wasn’t built to be easy but that doesn’t mean we let it get to us.” I nodded in response.

“Life isn’t fair, you don’t deserve this.” My heart ached for her.

“There is nothing fair about this world, the rich get richer while the poor sleep on the street wondering where their next meal will come from. The world revolves around greed, humanity never stood a chance but we have one thing.”

“What?” I asked.

“We have the choice to let all of that consume us or be happy with what we have in the moment and work to a better future.”

“Very true.” I agreed.

“I was out putting the washing out and old billy shouted ‘alright baldy’ and I swear that one gesture made my day. He didn’t treat me like a fragile dying woman, he just shouted what he saw, and I laughed so hard. It’s those small moments we should be happy for.” I looked at her seeing she was clearly worn down and tired but that smile lit her face up like Christmas.

“How long do you have?” I asked not wanting the answer but knowing I needed it anyway.

“Doc said 6 months so I guess that would be 4 left.” She shrugged.

“Four months of rocking that bald head, lucky us.”

A small chuckle left her lips. It was soon gone when Adrian stormed in the door and saw me sitting on the couch. His face changed from anger to confusion to rage.

“What the f**k are you doing here?” He barked.

“Visiting.” I stated dryly.

“Get out.” He demanded.

“Adrian, there is no need to be like that.” His Mum raged.

“Don’t worry May I’ll come back and see you, now isn’t the best time for us to be in the same room anyway. We just seem to want to kill each other when we are.” I gave her a hug quickly leaving.

“Look after her.” I warned as I passed Adrian.

As I drove home I was in awe of her attitude, she hadn’t given up. I couldn’t imagine being told how long you have to live; I couldn’t imagine sitting in a room and being told you were going to die of terminal cancer. The thought alone had me sick, but her attitude was inspiring, it just showed what an amazing person she was.

I drove up my driveway seeing Nick sitting on a chair waiting for me. I sighed; it had already been such a long night. Walking over with a weak smile I leaned down and pecked his lips. As I went to go in and get my overalls off and shower, he gripped my wrist pulling me down, so I was sitting on his legs.

“I missed you.” He kissed my hair.

“I missed you too.”

“You understand don’t you why I came to the garage. I just feel like we haven’t spent much time together and I came here for you Sydney. I came to support you and you haven’t been making the effort. I just feel like you would rather I wasn’t here.” He murmured.

“Of course, I’m glad you’re here. I want you here.” I felt so guilty, but I was just one person, I couldn’t be everywhere at once.

“I have put off so much work to be here for you.”

“I know.” I honestly felt like the worst girlfriend in the world.

“And that man you are working with, I don’t like him.” Well, that feeling was mutual.

“He works for my dad; I can’t change that.” He didn’t look happy, and my heart started to tighten in my chest, I just wanted everyone to be happy.

“We need to spend time together, the time a boyfriend and girlfriend should spend.” He remarked clearly hinting at s*x.

“I don’t feel comfortable doing stuff like that when my parents are home.”

“Don’t you want me like that anymore?” He asked, an underlying tone to his voice I couldn’t quite place.

“Of course, I do.” I answered. “It’s just complicated just now, when my parents go out then we can do what we want, just not when they are in the house.”

“Well, you better hope they go out soon.” Was his snarky response.

I didn’t like his tone and Adrian's words flew through my thoughts about him being controlling but when Nick hugged me tight and kissed my temple those thoughts disappeared. He was a nice person; he was a good boyfriend. I knew that and other people didn’t, so I just had to rely on myself.