What If the Earth was the other way...?

Kliptoran Wonders

Nathalia Avra

Tina brought a platter of what looked like boiled eggs and a glass of water. Not as alien as I thought it would be.

"Thanks," I smile as I take it from her hands and take one of those eggs… definitely not eggs. They felt much harder than a hard-boiled egg and the texture was not quite 'eggish'. 

I take a bite. Ew! That is disgusting! It actually tastes like toothpaste mixed with some kind of cream. But, I smile awkwardly and show a thumbs up. 

They both look at me satisfied, I suppose, because they are pretty good at holding poker faces. I swallow the bite and have a drink. 

Fortunately, it's just water!

"Are you going to finish those chunk balls?" Tony asked, gesturing at the plate. 

I look at the plate and then look at him.

"Yeah… sure… but let's get talking. I can eat while talking." I nod and lean closer to both of them.

"Ok then, we would gladly introduce Kliptora to you." Tony said.

It really seems that Tony and Tima are not those people who could give a speech. They just talk like dead people. No emotions in the tone, nor in their faces. I hope the rest of the planet isn't like this.

 " Kliptora belongs to a galaxy called Zooietoriah. Just like all other planets, Kliptora revolves around a star, Helo is our star." He pauses to make sure I am still following, all the while looking at my plate. I nod and take a bite of those 'chunk balls' and smile.

"It is precisely 5.947e24 kg and resides fourth in our system."

"So that's why it's such a Goldilocks planet." I blurted out interrupting them, causing them to give me an inquisitive look. 

"Oh...um, Earth is the fourth planet and roughly the same mass," I mumble.

He nods before continuing. " Kliptora has a binary satellite..."

"That means two moons, right?" I interrupt again. 

Once more he nods. "Zooie and Toriah."

Now, Tina takes up the topic, " Zooietoriah has many such star systems, but we have not found any other planet with life."

I nod. Tony looks at my plate again. I grind my teeth under my clenched lips and take a bite and swallow hard, making him smile again.

"Kliptora has eight continents. Engame, Frenchi, Latina, Arabacia, Greka, Mandrea, Sanskrita and Edbranch." 

"Wow! They sound super familiar. On Earth, we only have seven. Asia, Europe, Africa, North America, South America, Australia and Antarctica."

"How are the continents classified?" Asks Tina and that's when I notice her eyes go wide open and her leaning forward. I could literally see her ears popping open, so she could grasp everything that I say. I see raw emotions of curiosity in her.

I smile and think. How are the continents classified anyway? If I had my phone and a good reception here, I could've just googled it. But those are not options now and I really need to open my mouth. So, I answer in a matter-of-factly manner, "Well, a landmass is considered a continent, if it meets all the requirements needed to be a continent."

Pretty clever answer, Nathalia! But Tony and Tina both look unsatisfied with that answer. Tina wilted like a flower in a dry sun. She expected a better answer,I guess. I had to make it up to her. 

"Like, it has to (hold my hands wider) this big in size and it must contain certain conditions which. I am not sure." I try to explain.

Nope, they still look unsatisfied. 

Anyway, Tina continues, "We differentiate our continents by language residents speak."

"Engame habitants speak gamea. We are communicating in gamea." Tony starts recounting.

"That's English on Earth," I add.

"Frenchi speaks Frens.." Tina says

"Okay. Can you greet in Frens?" I ask

Tina sighs and says, "Bonjour."

"Okay, now you just said French. French is the Earth version of Frens." I clarify.

"Let's continue. Latina speaks Lat. Salve." 

"If gamea is English, Frens is French, then Lat is Latin on Earth. " I remark.

Tony gives a curt nod and he looks at my plate. There is one more of those alienish balls on my plate. With a huge frustrated sigh, I bite into it.

"Arabacia speaks Ara. Marhabaan." 

"Arabic, I guess." I mumble, while chewing those gooey, not so tasty, chunk balls.

"Greka speaks Gree. Chairete."

"Greek."

"Mandrea speaks Mar. Ni hão."

"Probably, Chinese. Madrid."

"Sanskrita speaks Sans. Nam-"

"Namaste?" I say.

"Yes." Tina smiles.

I smile at her.

"Edbranch is the continent which does not follow a particular language."

"Why not?"

"Edbranch is occupied  by those who are in between twenty to sixty years of experience. They are commonly called soldiers. Tina is a soldier." Tony completes.

"We too have soldiers. They fight for the country." I say.

"Country?" Tony shoots a question.

Oh boy! "Well, on earth, each continent has countries which are divided into States or regions, further into districts, villages etc.etc," I explain.

Tony looked at me, waiting to be impressed.

"...So, Each place has a set of people protecting them from other people. You know what, it's complicated!" I sigh.

"Who actually represents the planet?" Tony questions.

"Sorry?"

"Who rules Earth?"

"Politicians, monarchs and dictators."

"On Kliptora, we only have one person who rules over us. Currently, Switch is the chancellor of Kliptora. He resides in Edbranch. Where exactly do those three people reside, or which is your dominant continent?"Tina replied.

"No, you got me wrong, Tina. Politicians, monarchs and dictators are groups of people who rule. We have over 200 countries and each country has its own system of governance."

"Is that so? How interesting. " Tony replied fascinated. 

"Well, in truth it is. You must see how they argue and campaign. It's more fun than any comedy shows." I laugh as I recall watching a live Parliament performance on TV. 

They both stare at me. I stop. 

"So...um...so what do soldiers do?" I try to change the subject.

" They protect. Not all those who reside are soldiers. Some are electorates. When Switch resigns, they are the ones among which the leader is chosen. Edbranch chooses two members from each soldier camp and they are trained into taking responsibility, handling affairs around Kliptora and other important duties. We would have fourteen electorates from which the new leader arises."

"So, Edbranch is kinda like a Parliament. " I mumble.

"Parliament?" Tony asks, confused.

"Nothing important. How does entertainment work here?" I try hard to change the topic since I didn't want to get involved in  Earth politics, as it is very complicated.

Tina takes up the topic, "We engage ourselves with lots of activities consisting of sports, music, arts and literature."

"We love those too," I say excitedly.

"We would be happy to show you some." Tony offers.

I shriek. They look at me disgusted.

"Don't do that again," Tony grimaces.

"Sorry." I apologise.

"Let's get to the interesting part then." 

"Ooo... What's it?" I ask as I lean closer to them eagerly.

Tony springs up and brings a tablet-like gadget from a nearby table.

Tina takes the now empty plate and glass from me and Tony sets the tablet into my hands. The tablet looks like a normal tablet to me and the design is sleek and white. I see a map's picture in it. It pretty much looks like the Earth when it was one big mass of land but I really loved the map of Kliptora. It looks beautiful. I can't wait to explore!

Tony starts, "This is Kliptora's map. Now that it is settled, Edbranch has the least population. It's approximately... "

That's the interesting part? Are you kidding me!

The next fifteen minutes were like that French channel I get on TV. The view is awesome, but whatever they talk does not even make sense as I don't understand a thing!

" Tell me about some of the compositions of Earth," Tony demands.

"Well, that is a tough call. Anyways, Earth is very vast. So many creatures and so many beautiful sites and so many people. There are so many tourist sites and also some heritage sites. The Nile River is the longest river. Mount Everest..." I began vomiting out all my general knowledge even though I was not quite sure about the size, distance and the population density of each country.

"...When I get my backpack, I will show you a map of Earth if you are interested…"  I say trying to keep the conversation at bay.

"...You know, those goo balls you gave me, it was not at all tasty."

"Those were chunk balls," Tony says. 

" Yeah, those. They tasted like plastic. You must eat Golgappas, rajma chawal or those burgers and pizza and that pasta and spaghetti... Yum! There are so many food varieties on earth... Fried chicken!..." I get excited when it comes to food.

Well, they were not that interested. So, I dropped the topic.

Anyway, Kliptora had only one ruler and each continent is just as huge as a country, so it's quite easy for them. Likewise, my first day in Kliptora was very informative.