Shattered

Chapter 3

The sun was trying to peer in through the dark purple curtains in my bedroom window. I roll over dreading having to get up for school. At least I got some sleep last night I think to myself as I drag myself out of bed. Down the hall I can hear Victoria and Samantha arguing about who was going to be driving to school. This was a typical argument for the twins to have on school days. I didn’t have to deal with them because I drove myself to school. They would never be caught arriving at school with me. 

I quickly get ready realizing I had overslept. We have to wear a uniform so it makes getting ready a bit easier. The navy blue quilt skirt was just above my knees. I wear my white polo shirt with the blue shield embroidered on the left side, and slide on the flat black shoes we have to wear. Hutchins School was a private school where the uniforms were horrible, and the population was made up of mostly spoiled kids driving their fancy cars. I didn’t fit into that world either. I don’t know what world I fit into at this point but I’m trying to figure it out.

I make my way to the kitchen to find Tori and Sam still arguing. Evan Jacobs and Carter Baxter were in the kitchen with them. It wasn’t odd for them to be over at my house, especially Carter, whose dad was friends with mine. Like the twins, Evan and Carter were seniors. However, I was still just a junior. Evan and Sam were dating, and had been for over a year. Tori was single, and she had her sights set on Carter and so did I. 

Carter smiles at me. I wave at him, and open the fridge trying to play it cool. 

“Alright I’m settling this. I’m driving to school,” Evan declares as he wraps his arms around Sam. Finally someone made a decision I think to myself pulling out some OJ from the fridge. 

“No way. You drive like a crazy person,” Tori counters. “I’m driving. It’s my car.” 

“Why do we have to take your car?” Sam complains. 

I notice Carter shaking his head at the twins. Tori was the queen bee, so no matter how hard Sam fought, Tori would always win in the end. Continuing to ignore them I put a bagel in the toaster. 

Tori turns to me. “We could always let Emmy drive,” She jokes. “Isn’t it like your birthday or something?” 

“In two days it will be,” I say almost to myself, not surprised by her harsh tone. 

It figures when I try to be a ghost and ignore them that’s when they decide to pay attention to me. I seriously can’t win in this family. Tori looks at me with her bright brown eyes, her long brown hair with caramel highlights looks perfect as per the usual. She was the taller of the twins. Sam had lighter hair , but they had the same eyes, and the same creamy skin tone. Both of them were thin with athletic bodies, and I was their opposite.

I had dark hair, blue eyes, and light olive tone skin that I inherited from my mom, just like I did my hair and eye color. I was shorter than the twins, but I had curves and big boobs, something I knew the twins were always jealous of. At least I had one thing they wanted. 

Sam has curly hair which she has braided at the moment. My hair was straight, and came a bit past my shoulders, it was layered with side bangs, but right now it was pulled into a messy bun. I was too lazy to do anything with my hair today thanks to a rough weekend of sleep.

  As I begin spreading cream cheese on my bagel Evan decides to make a comment about my birthday“The youngest Chase sister turns seventeen. Shame your birthday wasn’t today.  April fools seems more fitting.” 

The twins laugh along with Evan at his joke. Carter shakes his head disapprovingly. Carter was so nice, I didn’t understand why he hung out with the cruel bunch. Evan has short blonde hair, fair skin and blue eyes, he was athletic, he was on every sports team the school had. Carter has shaggy ash blonde hair, deep hazel eyes, and lightly tan skin being half Spanish thanks to his mom. Carter didn’t look Spanish at all, but he spoke Spanish so well it put all of us to shame. Carter is also pretty athletic. He plays soccer in the fall, and lacrosse in the spring. 

I ignore Evan as he continues to make insults at me. The twins laugh, and make their own jokes, only Carter seems to not make any rude comments. He is handsome and kind, nothing like the idiots I came across on a daily basis. He was also smart, and did well in school. All of these things make me crush so hard on him.

I never had a boyfriend but Carter on the other hand had his share of girlfriends over the years, but he was single at the moment. He had been for almost a whole year now. I was hoping maybe he would see me in a different light. I knew Tori wanted to date Carter badly and I wasn’t sure how long he could resist her considering it seems like every guy at school wants to date her, the thing was it didn’t seem like Cater was interested in her like that which gave me hope that maybe just maybe we could be a thing. 

The twins and Evan walk outside to smoke while Carter stays inside, he didn’t smoke because of his asthma and tried to stay away from the others when they did smoke. 

“Sorry about them,” Carter apologizes.

“I’m used to it. Every day someone is making fun of me at school, and when I’m not at school, I have the lovely abuse of the twins at home. Believe me this is nothing compared to what it could be.” 

Carter gives me a sympathetic look. I wasn’t trying to get him to feel bad for me. I was just being honest, something I know he likes about me. He told me one time when we were hanging out briefly. 

“Are you doing anything fun for your birthday?” Carter asks, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction. 

“Nope. Our dad is away for the week, and the twins don’t care about my birthday, so I’m afraid it’s me, myself, and I;  pizza and Netflix.” 

“Not even your friends are free to spend time with you?”

“Alice lives too far away, and everyone else is busy.” 

Truth was I really didn't have friends here except for Carter if I could even really call him a friend. We hung out a few times but I mostly only see him at school or here when he’s hanging out with the twins, but I wasn't about to admit that to him and risk looking like a loser. 

“No one should be alone on their birthday.”

“I’m pretty much always alone.” Damn I sound pathetic. When would I just learn to shut my mouth? Sometimes the whole honest thing and speaking my mind bit me in the ass. I grab my backpack, and sling it over my shoulders. I look over at Carter to wave goodbye but he stops me before I can 

“Hey why don’t I take you out for your birthday? I have lacrosse practice after school, but after that I’m free.”

“That’s sweet, but I’m sure you have better things to do than spend a Friday night with me.” What is wrong with me? Isn’t this what I want? I swear sometimes I think I enjoy sabotaging myself and I need to stop doing that. I make the decision to take Carter up on his offer but just then Evan, Sam, and Tori all file back into the kitchen laughing. Evan jokingly punches Carter, and tells him they need to head out, but apparently Carter shocks everyone when he asks the others to spend my birthday with me. Evan and the twins laugh thinking that Carter was joking, but he is dead serious.

I could have died of embarrassment. I know Carter means well, but he just gave them more of a reason to make fun of me. I was the loser who couldn’t find anyone to spend her birthday with her. My stomach sinks as I regret eating breakfast. I want to run from the room, and let the tears take over, but that would just make an embarrassing situation worse. Instead I put on my brave face, the one I show the world so no one knows that I’m dying inside. 

“Come on guys it’s one Friday night. Tori and Sam would it kill you to spend some time with your sister?” Carter asks, trying to encourage the twins. 

“There’s a hundred better things I could think of to do with my Friday night than spend it with Emmy,” Tori rolls her eyes. “Carter have you lost your mind?”

“Yeah dude.” Evan agrees. 

Tori links her arm around Carter, and starts to guide him out the door. Evan and Sam follow. I wasn’t surprised at all by how they reacted, but I think Carter was. 

Always the loser I think to myself as I wait to hear Tori’s BMW leave the garage, so I could die in peace. I make my way to my car. I have a Mustang, it was last year’s birthday present, and another way of my dad making sure he bought me his love. I slide into the driver's seat, and blare the Foo Fighters. I didn’t want to go to school at all, but I had no choice. 

I couldn’t believe Carter had offered to spend my birthday with me. I knew he meant well, but I also wasn’t going to fool myself into thinking that it would really happen. Tori would dig her claws in, and convince him it was a bad idea. 

It really sucks that I’d be alone, but I was always alone. I still feel a bit depressed thinking about how I miss my mom, how I hate being so far away from my best friend, and how my family can’t stand me. Great! So not how I saw this day going. If this is what the rest of my day is going to be like I’m going to go back to bed and try again tomorrow. 

As I pull into the student parking lot, I push my depressed thoughts away, and concentrate on the day ahead. I need to stay positive. I try to think about the change I feel in me and pull some confidence from it. Whatever this change is, it is going to be amazing. I just have to hold out for it to fully take effect. 

I just have to get through a few days and then it would be Friday. I would make my birthday a me day. I was sure my dad would leave me a gift of money since he never knows what to buy me. I wasn’t like my sisters who liked anything named brand and designer, I on the other hand just wore what I liked. I didn’t care who made it which made me hard to shop for in my family. Just another way I didn’t fit into this world. 

The twins, Evan, and Carter all walk by my car, and join their other friends. Tori still has her arm linked around Carter which annoys the hell out of me. It was bad enough I have a crush on him, but to watch her flaunt her wonderful self at him was like rubbing salt into an open wound.

Thankfully school would be over in a few months, and soon the twins would be off to college across the county. They would be very far away from me, and I couldn't wait. I knew Carter was staying local which instilled some hope that we could have some time to ourselves without the cruel crew around.

The school day drags on, and I’m so happy when the day ends. I just want to do my homework, eat, take a shower, and curl up with a good book until I fall asleep. That was my normal habits kicking in, but right now I need my normal. It was a long day thanks to lack of sleep and thinking about my mom, family, birthday and Carter. I swear my mind is a war zone sometimes. 

Thankfully I know the twins would be out late, they always were when our dad was gone. I’m sure they will be gone the whole weekend partying and having fun. There is always someone at the school throwing a party. The twins only threw a party at our house once, and our dad happened to come home early, and caught the whole thing. It was a finer moment for me to watch the twins get the scolding of their lives. However, that joy didn't last long because somehow it was my fault, because according to our dad I knew better, and should have stopped them. Like I could have even done that. Sometimes being the good daughter doesn’t always pay off because somehow my dad thinks I should keep the twins in line when he isn’t home, but he’s their parent not me. 

I drive home thinking about how my dad isn't the greatest parent which makes me miss my mom even more, but I try to think of happy memories. Once I’m home I focus on homework and getting it done so I can have free time. 

After homework our chef, Jason, makes me grilled salmon with rice and spinach. Jason is a great cook, and he often makes us our dinners. The twins always use Jason to make them every meal and snack, they can’t cook to save their lives. I did some cooking when I lived with my mom before she died, so I’m not completely useless on my own. Plus I enjoy watching Jason cook, sometimes he will teach me recipes. 

The twins are just getting home as I’m about to devour a lovely piece of blueberry pie. I’m sitting at the island enjoying my food when the twins walk into the kitchen demanding that Jason make them something to eat. Jason is used to the twins demands, in fact we all were. The twins have bags in their hands, no doubt they spent their afternoon at the mall, or wherever they can spend money. 

Tori and Sam have one of the maids help them to their rooms with their new things. They came back down just as I’m finishing my pie. I wanted to be out of the kitchen when the twins were in there because I wasn’t in the mood to deal with them, but I wasn’t fast enough. Tori catches me in her sight as I’m trying to leave. 

“God, Emmy you ate that whole pie. No wonder why you’re a little on the chubby side.” Tori poked at me. 

I know I wasn’t thin like the twins, but I also knew I wasn’t fat. Sure I had some meat on my bones, but I also had curves which I like. 

“So? At least I have some meat on my bones unlike you two. I wonder what it’s like for guys to screw someone so thin, I wonder if they like bones poking them while having s*x with you.” I shoot back. 

I know I was being mean, but I was really tired of their crap. They could throw insults my way, but two can play that game. Besides I want to embrace the change I was feeling which in return was making me feel braver than normal. I was tired of taking their s**t. 

“Like you would even know a guy's touch. I bet you're still a virgin,” Sam joined the insult war.

I roll my eyes.

“Well at least I didn’t give it up to the first loser that offered.” I counter. 

I was a virgin, and I didn’t really care. I hadn’t met anyone worth giving myself up to, well except Carter, but I wasn’t sure that would ever happen. I didn’t care what Tori thought of me. I know she would always find a reason to hate me, so why not give her one by being her virgin, loser, half breed sister. 

“At least I have experience. I’m sure a guy like Carter will appreciate it. Oh, I forgot to tell you Carter is taking me to dinner on Friday.” Tori has a smug look on her face. 

I feel my heart sink. I know Carter wanted to do something with me for my birthday, and I didn’t think it would happen, but to take Tori on a date on my birthday was just a slap in the face. Maybe Carter wasn’t who I thought he was, or maybe somehow Tori had convinced Carter to take her on a date. I try to hide how upset I am, and act indifferent.

“Whatever. I don’t know why you think I care if you go on a date with Carter.” 

I could see Tori disappointed in her face. She was trying to hurt me, and I was not about to let her see that she actually succeeded. I say goodnight to Jason, and make my way upstairs to take my shower. Yes a shower would make me feel better. I strip and enter the shower. The warm water relaxes me, but it did nothing for the disappointment I was feeling. 

After my shower I curl up in my bed with my book to help relax my mind into sleep. Right now I need to escape to another world. I want to  ignore my reality, and right now I wasn’t a fan of it. I need something else to think about other than Tori and Carter going on a date which I haven’t stopped thinking about since she told me.  Just thinking about it makes me angry.  I push my thoughts away and dive into my book.